Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto
Firecracker-chan
34 reviewsHanabi tries to defend Hinata after her loss at the hand of Neji. IN rage Hiashi beats and disavow her. Naruto finds her in an alleyway and takes her in his care. Lemon, lolicon.
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Firecracker-chan
(#) Wolfbane420 2014-10-22
To paraphrase Rip Torn's Patches O'Houlihan
this is like watching a bunch of retards trying to fuck a doorknob.Firecracker-chan
(#) warper 2014-10-31
Poor grammar and plot structure is evident. Broken english suggests either English as a second language or just poor use of the english language. Consider re-write altogether.Firecracker-chan
(#) Wolfbane420 2014-10-31
@warper check out TheLemonSage 's fic The Promise is a WAY BETTER VERSION than this one.Firecracker-chan
(#) KIDEPIC 2014-11-21
I've read both One-of-the-sin and TheLemonSage's story the broken English in this makes the story less than enjoyable I did finish it , it's a okay story but that's really all it is . Okay.Firecracker-chan
(#) Cjhoax 2014-12-26
Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! LEMONSAGE IS RIGHT!!! THIS SUCKS ASS AND SWALLOWS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!Firecracker-chan
(#) KorinDragoon 2016-08-16
Good start but as many of the others have said you need to slow the story down abit and as some of the others have said add Hinata to the group she finds out what happened to her sister and goes to her to make sure that she's okay and finds out about Hanabi's relationship with Naruto and complains about it and Hanabi suggests that she join in and so she grabs her courage by the horns and confesses to Naruto.
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