Categories > Cartoons > Class of the Titans > Illusion Island
A Familiar Face
8 reviewsWorlds are turned upside down when everything the heroes thought they knew turns out to be a lie.
0Unrated
Reviews
Illusion Island
(#) IntoTemptation 2006-08-11
Very exciting. :) For constructive criticism, I'll use an example:
" Did you find teh others?"
" No. But I did get in touch with Neil on the PMR. Then it went dead. Did you?"
" No. Wait you said Neil?"
" Yeah. Why?"
1. Spell check. There are tons of online spell checkers to use.
2. No space between the quotation marks and words.
3. You could describe how they talk, and what they feel, and in what tone. =)
4. Double-spacing it would make it look longer, and make it easier to read. =) like:
"Did you find the others?"
"No. But I did get in touch with Neil on the PMR. Then it went dead. Did you?"
"No. Wait you said Neil?"
"Yeah. Why?"
Just some advice. but very good story, I look forward to reading more.Author's response
Thanks for the advice. I'll keep it in mind when i write in the future.Illusion Island
(#) iheartyou07 2006-08-11
ah, did they die, or is this really them?? hope it getws cleared up in the next chapter! great update, hope the next one is soon!Illusion Island
(#) Justforstories 2006-08-12
It just get much more confusing by the second. Are they real or not real? Who's real? Good plot anyway... Update...
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