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Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Bass Files

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• The Bass Files

  (#) PiecesInMe 2006-09-25

  I like it! 8)

  Author's response

  Thanks! My first review! WHOOPPEEEE!!! :) ;)

• The Bass Files

  (#) heather 2006-09-25

  please write soon!

  Author's response

  it´s already been done. ;)

• The Bass Files

  (#) Ithilwen 2006-10-02

  For all that Fruity's tone may be uncalled for, there are some places where this 'fic could be improved: .'s and ,'s go inside a " and ;'s and :'s go outside.
  
  If the protagonist doesn't want to be looked at, then why is she trying out for a band? How does she plan to cope?
  
  "Farest" should be either "furthest" or "farthest."
  
  There are a lot of common mistakes in here. Here's an example:
  
  The word "that" is used for things. "Who" is used for people. The protagonist has a younger brother "who" can't manage to hide his porn.
  
  Lots of people say "that" instead of "who" all the time. It doesn't get in the way of the story. Some authors put in grammar mistakes like this in an attempt to make dialogue or character voice more realistic, and it does seem as though your protagonist would speak this way, but it doesn't look like you did it deliberately.
  
  This is a so-so first chapter. It sets up the situation and touches on a few quasi-philo questions, but it doesn't really show me why I should care about Sheena and her band attempts.

  Author's response

  First of all, thanks for reading my story. It´s probably not really the kind of stuff that you care about. Thanks for giving it a try anyways.
  
  Thanks for the info on the punctuation. As I said before, English is not my mother tongue and the way I put it here is the way it´s done in German. Of course, I want to improve my English (this is one of the main reasons why I´m posting here) so I will try to use correct punctuation from now on.
  
  If you read the chapter "Hello, welcome to the show" you will find out how Sheena copes with being in a band and being looked at on stage.
  
  Ok, my bad in the vocab section there. Thanks again.
  
  I have to disagree with you there: "that" can also be used for people, it´s "which" which can only be used for things. However, there are instances when "that" cannot be used for people and this sentence might just be one of those. Yet, in general "that" is not exclusively used for referring to things.
  
  No, the grammar mistakes have not been made deliberately, my English is actually that bad. ;) But I really want to improve.
  
  Point taken. In fact, I find Sheena pretty boring myself.

• The Bass Files

  (#) pixied_secrets 2006-10-17

  "You know it´s punk when the CD stops and the total running time is 15 mins 31 secs" hahaha. how true.
  
  sheena has so much personality. you wrote her character perfectly

  Author's response

  :)

• The Bass Files

  (#) Pols 2006-12-01

  Only read chap 1 so far, but it's ace! Loving your writing style, really follows nicely. Liking the character development already, really feel like we are getting to know you characters personalies. Also feel i can identify with your main character in a way.

  Author's response

  A new reader, cool! It's kinda funny to have someone read your story after it's been finished. Not sure why...
  Thanks for your encouraging words. :) I hope you like this story. In a later chapter the story line is splits into two plot strands but I guess you are able to read anyways. ;)
  Thanks for the r&r. It's always great to have people take the time to comment.

• The Bass Files

  (#) GwenMerlon 2007-02-12

  Okay, so I'm finally getting around to reading this very famous story... and I love it so far! (shocker, I know) Anyway, we'll call this avoiding studying for Con Law. :D I'm excited!
  (So, I just re-read over this review and it is freakishly schizophrenic, and I'm sorry for that)

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