FicWad

Okay... that has got to be the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Atlanta, here, and if you've just joined us Jay has just told us about the little fact that he doesn't like eggnog. Like, as in really doesn't like it. After he /screamed/. Yeah, Jay. Screamed. As in that thing that Neil does if something's not right and it shatters your eardrums.

"Well, that's okay," Theresa said slowly, pulling the eggnog away from him.

He looked upset that he had freaked her out, so he took a breath and then continued, "I- Theresa, look. I have this... this problem with eggnog."

Neil finally happened to get interested in this conversation, "What? You drink too much and you end up peeing for hours. I hear you buddy; it's like that for me and cranberry juice. Take one sip and then I'm stuck standing like forever and-"

I held my hand up, "Enough, Neil, please." He shot me a sour look but I ignored it.

Alright, so Jay no likey the eggnog, Neil can have no more cranberry juice as long as I'm around. Why would he want to drink that stuff anyways? It's disgusting!

Pan was sitting at our little island-counter-thing and Archie was leaning against the wall, glaring at him. I shot Archie a glare to try and tell him off and sat down beside Pan. Silence stretched out for a few minutes until Theresa broke out of her daze of having her dream-boy, Jay, shriek at a cup of gross liquid, and drank the eggnog herself. Is it just me or was Jay watching her intently? Either he found woman drinking eggnog highly attractive, or... he wanted the eggnog himself? Then why would he scream? Alright, so this was up to me to learn Jay's Dark Secret of Eggnog.

"Where are you staying?" I asked Pan as people began to move around again.

He gave me a warm look and then shrugged, "I think your friends put me in Archie's room."

I swear I heard Archie's head snap up. A few seconds later he stormed up the stairs to clear out his room from anything Pan might get that could be potential blackmail-useable. That's it, I'm going to have to take that kid to a therapist, /soon/. He needs help.

Wait. Why is Pan staring at me? Is he going to kiss me? He'd better not! Oh, right, conversation. We were talking. It's my turn to say something.

"Well, uh, that's... cool." Cool. I said it was cool. I like Pan but I don't like-like-/like/ him anymore! Why am I getting so tongue-tied and sounding so stupid?

"Yeah," he smiled. We sat in an awkward silence. He readjusted his blue hat so that his horns were still hidden. Man, this was unnerving. How do I know what he's going to do next? What can I say? Should I just run away? Should I make an excuse? Should I go help Archie? Should I buy new socks? I mean, these ones I'm wearing are starting to look a little thin in some places.

"Finally," Herry sighed as he walked in, dusting his hands, "I got that done. Our desserts will be on their way tomorrow."

"Hello, Herry," Pan said as nicely as he could, like he had to try and get on Herry's good side.

"Hey, Pan! How are you? It's been forever since we saw you last time!" Herry charged forwards and must've startled Pan with his bone-crushing hug because I'm pretty sure I heard Pan squeak.

See, isn't Herry the coolest? He's like my big brother, and I love him more than I could really love any brother of mine. I've learned a lot from him even if he's only a year older than me. Yeah, I'm the youngest in the group, and I'm pretty sure Herry's the oldest. Herry, Jay, Theresa and Neil are all sixteen, and I think Theresa's the youngest out of that bunch and Neil's the second oldest, making Jay a bit of a middle-man. Between Odie, Archie and I, Odie's almost sixteen, which reminds me I need to buy him a cool present, and Archie and I just more recently turned fifteen. More recently is in the time that we were battling Cronus, and yes I've been fourteen years old and fighting an evil god, but when duty calls, you must answer. Archie is older than me, but only by a few days. Odd, eh?

But yeah, Herry's my big brother and I'm his little sister I guess, and we just have this special connection together. I mean, pretty much all the guys on the team are my big brothers, and Theresa I pretty much my best friend/ the sister I never had, and we're all just one happy family. And then along comes Archie. Since Archie is so close to my age, I think this natural bonding thing occurred, and I was so grateful to find someone else who loves to go running, hiking, play sports, jogging and training with the gods as much as me. Over the time we got closer and closer and I thin that's why we argue all the time, because we're both at the same immature age that we can't agree on anything. Wow, that's pretty deep even for me.

Herry and Pan were chatting up a storm and laughing together. Good, I just knew that Herry wouldn't be so tough on Pan. He's too nice for that. Pan must've said something really funny, and I missed it, because Herry just started howling with laughter and brought up his hand and... slapped Pan across the back. And I watched in horror as Pan was thrown from his stool and skidding across the floor.

"Oh, gosh! I'm so sorry!" Herry was leaping after Pan in a second. It must've been tough learning how to control his strength and growing up with it, yeesh, I'm glad I'm just fast.

"A little old to be crawling around, aren't you, Pan?" I heard a smug voice. I jumped up and trotted over to where Athena, standing on one foot and precariously balancing a few sheets of cookies and a few cakes on both hands, obviously dodging Pan who had come flying in. Said satyr was looking up at her stupidly, red-brown dreadlocks falling over his face. He blew them out of his eyes and slowly got up, picking up his fallen hat and sat it over his horns.

If you haven't clued in already, Pan appears human when he's wearing this outfit. What you can't tell is that under his funky blue hat he has two yellowy horns and he doesn't have the human legs his pants make you think he has. Instead, he's got reversed knees, a whole lotta red-brown shaggy hair and a cute little goat tail. He's a satyr or half-goat if you want to get technical and Greek god of the forest. He was also my first boyfriend.

Pan got up and dusted himself off, "Never to old for anything Athena," he laughed. I love his laugh, honestly. It's so pure and happy. I found myself giggling a little and Herry, now content that Pan wasn't hurt or angry with him, was laughing as well.

Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all...

"Oh NO!" Herry shrieked. If you've ever heard Herry shriek... don't. It's very unsettling and makes you fear for your life. Herry growls, snarls or roars. He does not shriek. It shouldn't be possible. I'm going to have to go talk to Odie about this freak sound.

"What?" Athena asked. She's a little scared, so that makes two of us. Hmm, something else looks different. She doesn't seem to be as old and wrinkled, though she was one of the youngest-looking gods of the bunch- that's it! She had made her appearance younger! Wow, she looked... beautiful.

"I forgot to clean up! We can't have a filthy house when the guests arrive!" Herry turned and ran out of the kitchen so fast that I was amazed.

Athena snorted grumpily at this, but continued getting her snacks and appetizers ready. Athena is the Greek goddess of wisdom, and our housekeeper. She keeps this lace so spick-and-span it's almost unnatural. Even so, Herry has this thing with germs. I think it's called germaphobia or that he's basically a germaphobe and can't stand germs. At all.

So you remember me telling you about the bathroom of doom I share with Archie and Herry? We have to use sani-wipes and special sanitizing soap or else Herry will have to sterilize they whole thing for fear of getting some weird, unheard of disease. Seriously, the biggest, as in tall, guy I know is afraid of the smallest possible thing. Germs.

I started walking over to Pan and opened my mouth to speak when the doorbell rang. I spun on my heel and walked over. It rang again, and I wondered who on earth could be so impatient. Theresa came up behind me as I opened the door, and stood stock-still in fright.

Standing before me were several people of which I was happy to see, and had hoped I would never see again.

I saw wonderfully youthful handsome and beautiful versions of Hera, Ares, Zeus, Artemis, Apollo, Hermes (he hadn't changed that much) Dionysus, Hades, Persephone, Hephaestus, a human Poseidon, and a youthful, human looking Chiron.

Also among this big group, actually ahead of them and pushing their way through the door, were two scowling girls whom I had never expected to see in my entire life. Medellia, the descendant of Meda who was a witch and she caused us a huge pain in the butt on an earlier mission, and Talia- aka Sybaris- the vampire who had broken Herry's heart and tried to kill us all. What were they doing here?

Not to mention Echo, the loudest, most talkative, most annoying nymph you'll ever meet, and Calypso. Odie's ancient nymph-girlfriend who hardly looked a day over twenty-five. Little wonder why Calypso was here, though I wondered if Echo was here to see Neil, since she'd been in love with Narcissus earlier, but she dumped Neil last time we met so maybe she was just here for the party. I scanned the crowd again, good, no Aphrodite's and no mystery relationship-solver guest.

"Uh, welcome, come on in!" I said after realizing I was leaving everyone outside in the cold. All the gods were younger, beautiful and handsome and slimmed up again. As they all entered I noticed several unknown nymphs and laughing satyrs following the large group. Figures, you throw and mythological party you get mythological guests.

I was helping some nymphs learn how to hang their coats up as I heard Hera scolding Dionysus again.

"Now, I know we're all very old but these are young children who are not at the age to be consuming alcohol. I want none of your tricks at this party Dionysus, and besides, be grateful they were kind enough to invite you," she hissed, probably reminding him for the millionth time by the way he tiredly nodded his head. I couldn't help but giggle at the sight and then ducked away when Hera turned my way.

"And you actually live in this pigsty?" a flat voice asked. Okay, giggles are now gone and I'm clenching my fists in frustration. Medellia was just not a very nice person, and now she had Talia/Sybaris to back her up. Herry and Odie, I love you, but I'm going to kill you.

"This is our home. We like it here," Theresa replied just as coldly.

Talia glanced in my direction and I opened my mouth to make a snarky comment but then Odie popped up with his big dopey nerd-grin on,

"Girls! So glad you could make it! You'll all be staying in Theresa's room together, since you girls love to chat the nights away and all," he laughed.

Love to chat the nights away? Excuse me buddy, do you even realize who you invited? Echo can chat years away, but put the rest of us together and expect us to chat /nights/. I'm going to butcher you!

"Odie!" Calypso cried, wrapping Odie in a huge hug and giving him a big, wet kiss. I turned to face Theresa when the two of them fell onto the couch. Not something I want my poor fairly-virgin eyes to see.

"Ohthisisgoingotbesocoolwegettospendallthisbondingtimetogethernadwecandoeachother'shairandeachother'snailsanddototalmakeoversandchatallthetimeandbecomebestfriendsandwecandosomecookingfortheguysandmaybewecouldallpullsomepraticaljokesontheguysormaybeevengetakissfromoneofthemwhatdoyouthink?Ithinkitwouldbesocool!" I stared blankly at Echo, not even understanding what she had said. If you really want to know, you'll have to have a lot of free time to get through all that.

"Oh be quiet, nymph. This is a party, you get drunk and lie down with the guy you want- just get him drunk enough too. That's how you have fun," Talia flipped her brown hair over her shoulder. Funny, what happened to her accent?

"Yeah, well, that may be how you Ancient Greek people party, but this is the modern era. We usually dance and hang out," I snapped.

Talia whipped her head around to fix me with a cold vampire glare that made me shiver. The next thing I know she's being picked up and spun around by a very excited Herry.

"Talia! I'm so glad you could make it!" he cheered.

"He'ley! I am so happey to see you!" she laughed, her accent back. The mean words I had jammed in my throat as I saw how happy my Big Bother was, and stayed jammed. I needed a drink, badly.

"Guys! You remember Talia?" Herry asked. How could I not, I almost replied, but checked myself, "she's decided to turn over a new leaf. Isn't that great?"

I couldn't answer. Sure, maybe she was nice to you while you were around, but she was still as mean as ever.

"Uh, yeah, that's... great, Herry," Theresa relied for us. I nodded in agreement. Theresa didn't like this either, at least I still had her to back me up... nevermind. Jay just walked in and Medellia made a direct beeline for him... now she's just... hanging off of him. No, she did not just glare at Theresa! Alright, I just lost Theresa as she stormed over to Jay and Medellia. I reached over and grabbed the lamp on the coffee table before it flew up and hit someone, courtesy of Theresa

Alright, everyone was starting to mingle and we had some party sounds happening. Loud laugher, lots of background chatting, it just sounded somewhat normal. Cheers went up as the appetizers were brought out, along with drinks which I glanced at Jay when eggnog was set out. He managed to pull away from Theresa and Medellia while the stared each other down and headed straight for the food and drinks. Was he? No. He wasn't.

Jay looked around quickly to make sure no one was watching him and poured himself a cup of eggnog. Why would he do that if he just screamed at the stuff? It made no sense at all. Hmm, maybe he had some sort of addiction to it- I'd heard about people and addictions. Jay was trying to hold himself back but maybe the temptation was too much?

I sighed and went to go talk to him when there was a furious cry and all sound screeched to a halt.

"What Are You Doing Here?" Hera demanded.

I pushed my way through the crowd, seeing as even on my tip-toes I wasn't tall enough to look over the unnaturally tall immortals. I found Hera staring down Talia/ Sybaris. The Queen of the gods' long silver hair was tied back in a loose ponytail and looked like moonlight to me. Who would've guessed that her hair was naturally grey? She, like the rest of the gods, looked much, much younger than what I was used to.

"I 'vas invited 'ere," Talia replied, accent as strong as ever, "just like you."

Hera seemed like she was about to start a fight right there- which was something I had never seen her do before, unless you count that wacky New Years last year when we were transported back in time to the Titan War and we saw her, Hades, Poseidon and Zeus kicking some major butt. But instead she lowered her fists and turned away, leaving some parting words over her shoulder,

"Harm anyone here and you will suffer more than you ever have." Everyone let out the breath they had been holding, even me, but then Herry decided he didn't like anyone treating his girlfriend that way.

"Hera," he said in his loud voice- cue silence again- "Talia has promised already not to hurt anyone. She said that she wants to change, and I for one believe in second chances." He stared Hera down with his big, puppy-like brown eyes and Hera nodded slowly before returning to Zeus's side. Looks like he was already getting 'friendly' with a nymph.

Over the returning din of voices I heard the doorbell ring again and I fought my way back, rather politely pushing some rather perverted satyrs out of the way. Thank you whomever gave the gods their immortality for making Pan a tall, rather gentlemen-like, hippie satyr. I don't know what I'd have done if he were as... gutter brained as his companions.

I opened the door to see a smiling Aphrodite. She looked exactly the same as usual. Or, as it just me, but had that beauty mark on her face grown? Oh no- what if it was taking over her face! I took an involuntary step back form her. It was then that I realized that the churning in my stomach wasn't because I was freaked out of her mole; it was because of Odie's message. Aphrodite had brought a guest that would 'help my love problems'.

I opened the door a bit wider and caught sight of something... Oh!

Shiny! It was so pretty and shiny it reflected all the light perfectly, completely perfect. It was just so... shiny and captivating. I wanted to touch it but I was afraid I was going to ruin the marvelous surface it was like... well, completely unblemished and a perfect gold color. Mostly round and-

I only heard two words as something huge tackled me.

"My wife!"

((((((0o0))))))

If you're as confused as me- you're lying through your teeth. First I see the goddess of Love and then I see the beautiful golden thing and then some huge brute knocks me to the ground shrieking 'My Wife!'

Interesting? I think so. I'd be more interested if my life wasn't being squeezed out of me and I was being pushed into the floor by this sheer weight of this mountain! I tried to call out for help or scream or something, but all I think I did was perfect my act of a fish out of water. You know, mouth gaping and not making any sounds. All the time this guy was shuddering like he was crying and muttering 'My wife, my darling, darling wife'. Psycho much?

Then I heard loud footsteps and someone shouted some very nasty words, but they were like music to my ears because only one person I knew used words like that in such a high, somewhat nasally voice.

Super-Archie!

Archie ripped the guy off me and someone pulled me to my feet, and right then I could've laughed that two enemies, Pan and Archie, had teamed up to save me. What a cliché, but I was too out of breath. I could imagine myself as some super-gorgeous women in a superhero movie with a huge chest and wide hips and a perfect face waving goodbye to my heroes and blowing them kisses with my huge, red lips.

'Thank you Super-Archie and Pan-Man! Thank you!'

I snorted to myself at the thought. Super-Archie and Pan-Man. What can I say, I'm a genius.

"Are you alright, Atlanta," Pan asked calmly. In the background I could hear Archie swearing and the man-mountain was still blubbering about 'my wife'.

"Yeah," I gasped, "wh-who is that?" I looked at the man Archie was terrorizing.

He had scruffy red hair and bright blue eyes that were staring at me intensely. I shuddered. He seemed to be only a bit older than us teens here, with a well-muscled build, giving him that added weight, and thoroughly tanned skin. He was dressed in modern clothing, a dark red T-shirt and jeans, but seemed out of place in them. He'd be much more comfortable with a loincloth and a club, running around hunting mammoths, I guessed.

"This," Aphrodite smiled warmly, almost smugly, at me, "is Meleager. He's come to solve your lack of romantic interest."

I choked on the comeback that had gotten stuck in my throat. This was the guy who'd married my ancestor years and years ago! No wonder he was going on about the whole 'my wife! My wife!' thing, but... shouldn't he be, I don't know, /dead/.

"I've bargained with Hades to let Meleager come up to visit you. Isn't this wonderful? I'll leave you two to get acquainted," Aphrodite giggled and then joined the party.

I stared at Meleager. This had just added to my growing list of problems, drastically.

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coughs

gets shot for making Atlanta's life worse

I'll leave you to your own thoughts now...

limps away

~Demenior