Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Harry's Return
Chapter One
8 reviewsHarry disapears from the Dursleys when he is seven, ten years later he returns and he is not the boy Albus Dumbledore was hoping for. pairings HP/NT, RW/HG, others Story has not been betad
5Funny
Reviews
Harry's Return
(#) Dragen 2006-11-18
What a great start to the story, I wish though that you put more detile into Harry's new past??Harry's Return
(#) ChiVayne 2006-11-21
Good start. I always prefer that the Harry Potter characterbe trained and aware of what's going on.Harry's Return
(#) ChiVayne 2006-11-21
Good start. I always prefer that the Harry Potter characterbe trained and aware of what's going on.Harry's Return
(#) SiriusStains 2007-03-21
You need to work on your starting point...honestly reading the first cahapter to me was like opening a book at a random page and starting. You also need to work on your characterisations..tehy are rather flat for lack of a better word. You leave a lot of questions. Your dialog seems forced and it really does not have anything that just hooks a readers attention.
I apologise that this is all critisism, but hopefully you will take it to heart and use it to try to improve your writing.Harry's Return
(#) Cateagle 2007-09-08
It's an interesting start but you really need to lay more of a back story about how Harry came to leave the Dursley's and get involved with Sirius, Remus, and Tonks.
having said that, it reads reasonably well, though with some punctuation problems here and there (be glad to beta if you still need one). It does sound like an interestin AU to follow, though.
Sign up to review this story.