Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > At Least He Makes Me Forget...

Chapter 5

by Gangsta_Girl 10 reviews

Pressing my eyelids back together I continued trying to remain calm. I could feel my whole body shaking.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Romance - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-11-21 - Updated: 2006-11-21 - 1070 words

"I think I'm going to be sick."

Brendon pulled on my arm like a little kid urging his mother to follow him to the toy section. "No, you're not."

I darted him a stern glare. "How do you know?"

"I just do. Now, c'mon!"

We stopped just in front of the large ferris wheel. I could feel a panic attack coming on. I shut my eyes and whirled around so that my back was facing the monstrous wheel of death. Brendon stepped in front of me and placed his hands on either side of my face. I opened my eyes, only to come into direct contact with his chocolate orbs of worry.

"What is it?"

My eyes began instantly pooling with tears. I looked up at the darkening sky to keep myself from breaking down in front of him. I shook my head profusely.

"I can't. I c-can't. I just can't." I choked out. I've never been one to be too keen on the idea of showing weakness. It makes me feel vulnerable and stupid all at the same time. But heights have always been an obstacle for me. I can't even fully trace back to when my phobia started. It's not that bad, I mean, I get up on ladders all the time for work, but when it's that high up...that far up...I lose it.

A comforting smile spread across his face. "What? Are you afraid of heights?" He said softly, never releasing his eye-contact with me.

He wiped my tears with his thumbs as I nodded slowly and then pulled me into a hug. His skinny toned arms wrapping me tightly as I rested my head against his chest. He rocked me slowly, showering my ears with quiet sentiments of reassurance.

My nose was buried in the soft material of his hoodie taking in his every essence before I finally brought my head up. He looked down at me as he felt my head shift.

"Let's go." I whispered.

"Are you sure?"

"I have a feeling that if I don't do it now, you'll probably make me do it later." I smirked lightly.

"Yeah, you're right." He smiled. "I probably would."

I let out a breath and let go of his torso. Turning around, I came back face to face with the ferris wheel. "It's now or never." I said to no one in particular.

Somehow I got into the rickety seat with Brendon and we began our decent to the top of the ferris wheel. I concentrated on breathing as he held my hand firmly. I kept my eyes squeezed tight. Maybe I'll open them... I squinted them open slightly. Okay, maybe not. Pressing my eyelids back together I continued trying to remain calm. I could feel my whole body shaking.

Suddenly the ride abruptly stopped and the seat swayed to and fro violently. I opened my eyes and clung onto the bar in front of me for dear life. Not a single yelp left my lips. I was too scared to make any noise. Brendon grabbed a hold of my waist and looked down towards the ride's conductor.

"Raquel, the ride's stuck. He's trying to fix it right now. We might be up here a while. Don't worry. It's alright..."

I couldn't even respond before my tears made their way down my cheeks.

"It's alright." He said again, this time even softer.

The seat stopped swinging, expect for when the wind happened to push it slightly. I wiped my wet skin with the back of my hand and looked at Brendon's sympathetic face.

"I'm sorry."

"For what? You didn't do anything."

My throat tightened and again I felt like crying. "For...for ruining everything. I'm sure you would have had much more fun with someone else." I let out quickly before turning away from his gaze.

His left hand grasped my chin and brought our faces back to their original proximity. "I doubt that. You were the one I wanted to be with." He ended breathlessly before bringing his lips to mine.

And in that instant I was in pure pleasurable rapture. Time and space froze for those blissful minutes of passion. I forgot the haunting phobia that plagued me as his full lips encountered my own with innocent lust. My hand reached the back of his neck and I let him drag the kiss further. His tongue slid teasingly along my bottom lip before I parted my mouth to grant him access. I could taste the remnants of the sugary cotton candy confection Brendon had eaten previously, which made the kiss that much sweeter.

Panting faintly we separated ultimately to regain our breath. When I opened my eyes from our kiss I realized the ride had finished and we were back to where we had started. Brendon got out and I followed. We didn't speak a word to each other.

As we headed back towards my house thoughts kept gnawing away at me.

Maybe, he doesn't feel the same way as I do. Did he do it out of pity? Was that the reason he was so quiet? Did he regret kissing me?

We reached my house just as the street lights turned on, illuminating the quaint cul-de-sac. I stood, my back against the door while he was positioned directly in front of me, hands dug deep into his jean pockets. The silence between us could only be described as awkward. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Thank you, Brendon." I murmured soothingly.

At first he was a little taken aback by the sudden break in stillness, but regained his composure to reply. "No. Thank you."

Silence again.

"...Raquel?" He began.


"About what happened..."

"Yeah, it's okay. I understand. You don't need to explain. It was a mistake..." I said, not believing the words coming out of my mouth.

"No, it wasn't. It wasn't a mistake. And I know you don't think it was. I felt something and I know you did too." The serious sincerity in his voice was heartbreaking.

"...I did." I whispered.

His eyes lit up. "Good. Then you won't mind me doing this."

*A/N: Sorry. I know this is a little short and a bit of a cliffhanger, but I needed your wonderful comments to keep me going. I'm not sure where I want this to go...well, I do...but then I don't. Ugh. I'm so confused. :/
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