Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Bass Files
Johnny Quest thinks FG´s a sell-out
13 reviewsChapter 35 makes us come to our senses that Sheena´s become senseless. Pete´s handing out sexual advice as if his name was Kinsey and the band´s final allocation is slightly changed. What a surp...
4Funny
35. Johnny Quest thinks FG´s a sell-out
"So he´s had a hard-on, what´s the big deal?" Pete frowned at me.
Well, I surely was surprised to have found Pete opening Joe and Patrick´s door when I had rung the bell. Apparently Patrick had gone out to get something to eat. Also, apparently Patrick had told Pete what had happened the previous evening.
We were both sitting on the couch, waiting for McHatty´s return.
I furrowed my brow at the Wentzian bluntness. "Well... Pete. I can´t say I found it a very comfortable situation."
He made a dismissive gesture, "Imagine what it was like for him, all that blood swelling his-"
"I HAD sex ed in high school, thank you... I was just trying to explain that it was awkward. For both of us."
Pete giggled. Not a manly giggle, I might add. "You kids are totally strange. I don´t get why you didn't like, take advantage of that situation. Patrick´s hadn´t had sex in like... a VERY LONG time." He eyed me, "And you don´t look really satisfied either."
I frowned at the Wentzian bluntness combined with Peteresque rudeness.
"And you´re really close from what I understand. Why don't you guys just hook up?"
"´Cause we´re not in love with each other, duh?" What a dipshit.
Pete nodded, "Hm, hm. I understand." He paused and then asked, "Then why don´t you simply do it anyways? It´s gonna do you good. Both of you." He grinned like an idiot.
I rolled my eyes, "What are you? Patrick´s pimp? It´s not gonna happen, Pete. You can bet your bouncy locks on that."
He pushed a few strands of hair out of his eyes and smiled, "Thanks, I thought they look really good today too."
The guitarman showed up about 10 minutes later, finally delivering me from Pete´s fantasies about us hooking up and his tips on how to (pretend to ?) have oral sex with the bass on stage.
As soon as Patrick had set foot into the apartment I grabbed his arm and dragged him to his rooms with the words "We should talk." I heard Pete yelling something like "Atta kids!" before I closed the door behind us.
"What´s with him?" Patrick referred to Pete´s yell.
"Too much hair spray... Now, Patrick, about yesterday: I know it was uncomfortable and I may not have acted like I should have but I want you to know that I already forgot what happened. I don´t want this to affect our friendship. I know it doesn´t mean anything and it´s a normal thing. Don´t feel bad or anything because I-"
"Did Pete talk to you about this?" he interrupted me.
I nodded.
"Oh, man!" He looked angry.
"Don't worry. He didn´t say anything... well, actually he said something dumb. In fact, he said a lot of dumb things. But I don´t take him seriously so that´s ok," I smiled at Patrick.
I knew that it hadn´t meant anything. It´s not like he really wanted to sleep with me just because he got excited.
Patrick sat down on his bed and finally put down the paper bag with the food he had been holding all the time while I had done the talking. "What did he say?"
I laughed out loud, feeling a bit embarrassed, "Oh... really silly stuff. Like you and I should..." I didn't finish my sentence.
"Right," Patrick pulled at his cap.*
"Ok, so I guess I´ll see ya around. Just wanted to let you know that everything´s fine, really."
He sat on the bed and avoided my eyes.
"Anything wrong, Patrick? Really. Don´t worry about it," I tried to sound reassuring.
He looked up and smiled, but it looked forcedly. "No, I´m good, Sheena. See you later."
As I headed for the door I said bye to Pete. Who was checking out his reflection on the TV screen and mumbling something like "Eyes on the prize, man. Eyes on the prize."
_ _ _ _ _
"Hey, looky there who´s got two functioning arms again," Joe greeted me as I entered Andy´s garage where the rest of the band was tuning their instruments.
"Hello," I raised my cast-less arm and sat down on one of the amps.
"Welcome back aboard, Bass Lady," Andy grinned at me.
Pete wanted to hand me his bass, "You wanna play then?"
I shock my head, "No, no. Just go ahead. I think my fine motor skills are a bit rusty after the weeks in plaster."
Pete smiled at me and I think I heard a faint "thanks". But maybe he was just doing lip gymnastics to warm up for the oral sex with his bass. Ya never know.
After the practice was over we started talking about our summer plans. Obviously ´Blue in the Face´ was given the prospect of doing another and longer tour with those reptilian UFO folks.
"And this time you can definitely come along, Sheena, because teachers have the whole summer off," Joe blabbered excitedly.
"I guess so," I replied.
"You don´t sound too stoked," Andy said.
"Yeah," Patrick chimed in, "haven´t you people ever- I mean, what´s up with that?"
Pete just looked at me. Kinda scared. Funny thing, Pete never looked so good.
"Actually, guys," I decided it was time to talk this over, "I think you´re better off with Pete."
I heard three male voices protesting. I shushed them. (Teaching experience.)
"I thought this over and let´s just face it: I´m a teacher and I´m not gonna give up my job. You´ve got big plans for this band and I just can´t keep up with that. Don´t you realize how the chemistry´s just right between the four of you. I can feel it and it´s impressive... Kinda gay, but impressive."
They smiled at my last remark.
"I don´t know..." Patrick mumbled.
"What do you think, Pete?" I asked him.
"Um, I..."
What do I get for shutting up Peter Wentz?
Joe cleared his throat, "Sheena´s probably right. I mean in the long run... We´ll want to do as much touring as possible."
I nodded.
"I´d be happy to," Pete finally managed to say.
"Well, dude," I slapped him on the shoulders, "the one with the better calves won."
Later that night we sat on the floor of the garage, eating pizza - I don't know what you call the weird thing Andy had - and playing Monopoly. My band career had ended but I felt that this was the beginning of something really big for the guys.
And probably something gay too.
_______________
* Just your obligatory footnote.
"So he´s had a hard-on, what´s the big deal?" Pete frowned at me.
Well, I surely was surprised to have found Pete opening Joe and Patrick´s door when I had rung the bell. Apparently Patrick had gone out to get something to eat. Also, apparently Patrick had told Pete what had happened the previous evening.
We were both sitting on the couch, waiting for McHatty´s return.
I furrowed my brow at the Wentzian bluntness. "Well... Pete. I can´t say I found it a very comfortable situation."
He made a dismissive gesture, "Imagine what it was like for him, all that blood swelling his-"
"I HAD sex ed in high school, thank you... I was just trying to explain that it was awkward. For both of us."
Pete giggled. Not a manly giggle, I might add. "You kids are totally strange. I don´t get why you didn't like, take advantage of that situation. Patrick´s hadn´t had sex in like... a VERY LONG time." He eyed me, "And you don´t look really satisfied either."
I frowned at the Wentzian bluntness combined with Peteresque rudeness.
"And you´re really close from what I understand. Why don't you guys just hook up?"
"´Cause we´re not in love with each other, duh?" What a dipshit.
Pete nodded, "Hm, hm. I understand." He paused and then asked, "Then why don´t you simply do it anyways? It´s gonna do you good. Both of you." He grinned like an idiot.
I rolled my eyes, "What are you? Patrick´s pimp? It´s not gonna happen, Pete. You can bet your bouncy locks on that."
He pushed a few strands of hair out of his eyes and smiled, "Thanks, I thought they look really good today too."
The guitarman showed up about 10 minutes later, finally delivering me from Pete´s fantasies about us hooking up and his tips on how to (pretend to ?) have oral sex with the bass on stage.
As soon as Patrick had set foot into the apartment I grabbed his arm and dragged him to his rooms with the words "We should talk." I heard Pete yelling something like "Atta kids!" before I closed the door behind us.
"What´s with him?" Patrick referred to Pete´s yell.
"Too much hair spray... Now, Patrick, about yesterday: I know it was uncomfortable and I may not have acted like I should have but I want you to know that I already forgot what happened. I don´t want this to affect our friendship. I know it doesn´t mean anything and it´s a normal thing. Don´t feel bad or anything because I-"
"Did Pete talk to you about this?" he interrupted me.
I nodded.
"Oh, man!" He looked angry.
"Don't worry. He didn´t say anything... well, actually he said something dumb. In fact, he said a lot of dumb things. But I don´t take him seriously so that´s ok," I smiled at Patrick.
I knew that it hadn´t meant anything. It´s not like he really wanted to sleep with me just because he got excited.
Patrick sat down on his bed and finally put down the paper bag with the food he had been holding all the time while I had done the talking. "What did he say?"
I laughed out loud, feeling a bit embarrassed, "Oh... really silly stuff. Like you and I should..." I didn't finish my sentence.
"Right," Patrick pulled at his cap.*
"Ok, so I guess I´ll see ya around. Just wanted to let you know that everything´s fine, really."
He sat on the bed and avoided my eyes.
"Anything wrong, Patrick? Really. Don´t worry about it," I tried to sound reassuring.
He looked up and smiled, but it looked forcedly. "No, I´m good, Sheena. See you later."
As I headed for the door I said bye to Pete. Who was checking out his reflection on the TV screen and mumbling something like "Eyes on the prize, man. Eyes on the prize."
_ _ _ _ _
"Hey, looky there who´s got two functioning arms again," Joe greeted me as I entered Andy´s garage where the rest of the band was tuning their instruments.
"Hello," I raised my cast-less arm and sat down on one of the amps.
"Welcome back aboard, Bass Lady," Andy grinned at me.
Pete wanted to hand me his bass, "You wanna play then?"
I shock my head, "No, no. Just go ahead. I think my fine motor skills are a bit rusty after the weeks in plaster."
Pete smiled at me and I think I heard a faint "thanks". But maybe he was just doing lip gymnastics to warm up for the oral sex with his bass. Ya never know.
After the practice was over we started talking about our summer plans. Obviously ´Blue in the Face´ was given the prospect of doing another and longer tour with those reptilian UFO folks.
"And this time you can definitely come along, Sheena, because teachers have the whole summer off," Joe blabbered excitedly.
"I guess so," I replied.
"You don´t sound too stoked," Andy said.
"Yeah," Patrick chimed in, "haven´t you people ever- I mean, what´s up with that?"
Pete just looked at me. Kinda scared. Funny thing, Pete never looked so good.
"Actually, guys," I decided it was time to talk this over, "I think you´re better off with Pete."
I heard three male voices protesting. I shushed them. (Teaching experience.)
"I thought this over and let´s just face it: I´m a teacher and I´m not gonna give up my job. You´ve got big plans for this band and I just can´t keep up with that. Don´t you realize how the chemistry´s just right between the four of you. I can feel it and it´s impressive... Kinda gay, but impressive."
They smiled at my last remark.
"I don´t know..." Patrick mumbled.
"What do you think, Pete?" I asked him.
"Um, I..."
What do I get for shutting up Peter Wentz?
Joe cleared his throat, "Sheena´s probably right. I mean in the long run... We´ll want to do as much touring as possible."
I nodded.
"I´d be happy to," Pete finally managed to say.
"Well, dude," I slapped him on the shoulders, "the one with the better calves won."
Later that night we sat on the floor of the garage, eating pizza - I don't know what you call the weird thing Andy had - and playing Monopoly. My band career had ended but I felt that this was the beginning of something really big for the guys.
And probably something gay too.
_______________
* Just your obligatory footnote.
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