Categories > Cartoons > Futurama > Amazon Men in the Mood


by Tarklandoura 2 reviews

The Amazonian leader thinks Zapp is the sexiest man he ever saw and none of the Amazonians care much for Kif.

Category: Futurama - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor,Parody - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2007-01-05 - Updated: 2008-01-26 - 433 words

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Futurama. I wrote this story purely for the enjoyment of myself and others, not for economic gain.

Ten Minutes Later

Zapp lay on the large bed in the uns-uns chamber and waited for his sentence with much anxiety. He had been striped of his clothes and had been taken away by one of the smaller men. Before long, the leader returned. He entered the chamber and closed the door behind him.

The leader spoke. "Me, king of Amazonia, have uns-uns with sexiest man ever saw." He took off his clothing and Zapp's jaw dropped when he saw the size of this man's...well...ding dong. The leader then went over to Zapp. "Let uns-uns begin!"


Four Hours Later

Much later in the day, Zapp was brought to a small chamber. His clothes were in one corner on a bed and Kif was in the other corner, staring at Zapp who was looking very satisfied.

"What you lookin' at soldier?" Zapp asked.

"" Kif shuddered and looked away from his naked captain. "I've been waiting for hours, sir."

"Hours? What do you mean?" Zapp jumped gleefully on his bed.

"They liked you much better, sir. I've been waiting for hours for them to finish with you."

Zapp burst out laughing. "You sound surprised, Kif. You shouldn't be. Anyone knows that sex with the great Captain Zapp Brannigan is a thousand times better than sex with the measly Kif Kroker."

"Perhaps, sir, it has something to do with me not being the same species as..."

"Kif, don't make excuses. It's a fact of life." He pulled on his captain's outfit and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Does it hurt, sir?"



"Oh, well, a bit, yes, I must admit. But nothing will stand in the way of General Major Webelo Zapp Brannigan!"

Kif stared at him as if Zapp was from another planet. "Sir, we should try to escape."

"Escape? Escape?! Why in earth would you want to escape?! Kif, you would give up free sex?"

"Sir, in case you haven't realised, they're the same gender as..."


"But what about..."

"What about / what /, Kif?"

"What about Leela?"

Zapp stared for a moment, as if trying to remember who exactly Leela was. "Kif, we're stranded here. We'll never see her again!"


"Now, now, Kif. Stop you're worrying. I must relax before I join in this evening festivities."



"What're they?"

"More uns-uns," Zapp explained with a smile.


To Be Continued...


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