Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Looking for a Song to Sing
"Looking for a Song to Sing" by getupngo
Chapter 5: "Here we go around again"
We're tracing our footsteps
we're going the same way
Sometime during their bonding period, Addison has laid down in Jon's bunk by his feet, fully relaxing for the first time. Jon proved to be even more normal than Addison expected, in addition to the fact that he was very knowledgeable on the music industry. He had actually been a behind the scenes guy for years, traveling and touring. Becoming a part of Panic! was a complete accident.
Addison woke up to find her arm draped around Jon's keens and her head basically level with his crotch. She sat up quickly; the position might've been hard to explain. She rubbed her eyes, feeling the sleep crusted in them. Her and Jon stayed up for hours, just talking, which gave her a reason to forget about the fact that she was about to lose her internship and the assholeness of Brendon Urie. However, daytime brought reality back and it was forcing Addison into a slow disparity. She sat and stared at the closed curtain across from her, feeling mad, more at herself for her current situation.
Jon felt Addison shift and let his eyes open. He watched her face stare blankly and sort of felt for the girl. This life was all so new to her; it wasn't necessarily 100% clear as to what was acceptable and unacceptable due to pop cultures blurred view on touring etiquette. In Jon's experience, it was important to never date and/or sleep with anyone in your entourage, never mix business with pleasure. He could tell in Addison's lack of experience that this lesson was going to have to be learned the hard way.
He couldn't deny that he liked Addison, because he did. He enjoyed her company and loved how easy it was to talk to her. They realized they had a lot in common and her wit made him smile. But ethics are ethics and he wasn't going to change them because this girl's smile made him weak...
Ryan went to sleep angry and woke up feeling the same. Brendon has told him the whole story, including when Addison basically forced sex on him. She has a job to do and cross an ethical boundary that, in his opinion, should have gotten her immediately kicked off the tour. He was angry mostly because she was still on the bus. He stood up and stretched, walking to the bathroom. He passed by Jon's bunk, with the curtain now almost fully closed, and saw two pairs of feet. One obviously belonging to Jon, but the other...
Ryan felt his skin burn hot. Was she going to try and sleep with Spencer net? He continued his trek, but instead went over to Brendon's bunk and woke him up.
"What the hell, dude?" Brendon said groggily. Ryan reached up the bunk above him and woke Spencer as well. They both look at Ryan in question as the boy pointed to the bunk a few forward. Brendon's face fell. He sort of felt bad for lying to Bob, it was him who sort of encouraged sex between him and Addison, but the fact was currently spooning with Jon hurt his feelings. Did he mean that little to her?
Jon didn't know how or really why, but suddenly Addison was above him, his arms were wrapped around her and they were kissing. His desire to keep his morals almost outweighed his desires to feel something real. All of this fantasy going on around him merely made his desire for actual feelings stronger. He finally came to his senses,
"Addison, stop. We can't do this. I can't do this," he said, pushing her body of him. Addison only stared at him in shock. She had been right all along, the feelings she had for him just weren't mutual.
"I'm sorry..." she said, scrambling to sit. She pulled her knees to her chest and felt her face flush red. Jon reached over and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"It's not you, Addison. I really like you. This isn't about you. It's just not right. I'm sorry," Jon said. Addison nodded into her knees, and then quickly stood up. Feeling embarrassed and slutty, she walked to the back room and laid her head down on the couch, taking deep breaths she felt herself starting to drift off, when Brendon walked through the doorway.
"I just don't get it," he said to Addison's sleeping form. She opened her eyes to stare at him. He was leaning back against the closed door with his arms folded over his chest.
"What?" she asked him softly. Didn't he understand that she just wanted to be alone?
"Do I mean that little to you? I thought you liked me, I thought we were together? As far as I know we broke up yesterday and you're already fucking Jon? It's bullshit," he said. Addison sat up at his comment. Was she to be honest with him or sugar coat it to not hurt his feelings? The truth was, she really did like Brendon, but she didn't feel for him in an affectionate way. He was a good kid; that was what she was interested in.
"Brendon...first of all, all I was doing was talking to Jon, but that's really none of your business. Also, you really should know--"
"Excuse Me?" Brendon said leaning off the door and approaching her, "It is my business. Less than 24 hours ago, you were MY girlfriend and that's MY band mate. I definitely have a right to know what's going on!" he exclaimed. Addison stood up and got closer to him.
"No, you don't. What I do in my personal time isn't of your concern, Brendon, and if you want honest, here it is: You are loud, obnoxious, clingy and annoying. You made me sorry I ever slept with you and it takes a lot to make me regret something. Which, by the way, thanks for being a fucking baby and telling on me! How dare you tell Bob I forced myself on you! You put my job in jeopardy. And I don't doubt that you told Ryan and Spencer the same shit story. You're such a fucking child, Brendon. I dumped you because I couldn't stand you! Happy?" she said, her chest heaving. Brendon stood facing her with his mouth agape. That hurt. He really wanted to believe he was a good boyfriend to her. He always doted on her, what was the problem?
"I can change..." he said softly. This comment caused Addison to back off. She looked at him intently. Suddenly she wasn't so sure she wanted to let him go. Addison was never one to let her guard down so easily, so she crossed her arms in defense.
"Change? How do you plan on doing that? The first thing you have to do is make it right, Brendon. Tell Bob I didn't force myself on you, I would never do that to anyone. Tell Jon you're sorry, and then tell Ryan I still hate him," she said with a slight smile. Brendon forced a half smile, and then opened his arms, signifying for her to hug him. She sighed, she didn't want to give in that easily, but Jon wasn't going to be with her and sex with Brendon never failed.
"I'm not hugging you or anything until you give me your word. Make it right," she said, still crossing her arms. Brendon sighed and let his arms fall and nodded.
"I'll talk to Bob this afternoon, I promise. Just give me another chance. I can't help my loud obnoxiousness but I can try to give you a little more space to be you, okay? I just want to be with you, seriously. Please?" he said, pouting. Addison grinned. How in the hell was anyone ever supposed to say no to that pout?! She walked up to him and placed her arms gently around his neck. He half smiled again then leaned in to kiss her.
"You must cast some kind of spell, Brendon Urie. I'm actually going to let you live," she said. He placed his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, kissing her deeply...
**********
You know it could be so much better than it's been
Chapter 5: "Here we go around again"
We're tracing our footsteps
we're going the same way
Sometime during their bonding period, Addison has laid down in Jon's bunk by his feet, fully relaxing for the first time. Jon proved to be even more normal than Addison expected, in addition to the fact that he was very knowledgeable on the music industry. He had actually been a behind the scenes guy for years, traveling and touring. Becoming a part of Panic! was a complete accident.
Addison woke up to find her arm draped around Jon's keens and her head basically level with his crotch. She sat up quickly; the position might've been hard to explain. She rubbed her eyes, feeling the sleep crusted in them. Her and Jon stayed up for hours, just talking, which gave her a reason to forget about the fact that she was about to lose her internship and the assholeness of Brendon Urie. However, daytime brought reality back and it was forcing Addison into a slow disparity. She sat and stared at the closed curtain across from her, feeling mad, more at herself for her current situation.
Jon felt Addison shift and let his eyes open. He watched her face stare blankly and sort of felt for the girl. This life was all so new to her; it wasn't necessarily 100% clear as to what was acceptable and unacceptable due to pop cultures blurred view on touring etiquette. In Jon's experience, it was important to never date and/or sleep with anyone in your entourage, never mix business with pleasure. He could tell in Addison's lack of experience that this lesson was going to have to be learned the hard way.
He couldn't deny that he liked Addison, because he did. He enjoyed her company and loved how easy it was to talk to her. They realized they had a lot in common and her wit made him smile. But ethics are ethics and he wasn't going to change them because this girl's smile made him weak...
Ryan went to sleep angry and woke up feeling the same. Brendon has told him the whole story, including when Addison basically forced sex on him. She has a job to do and cross an ethical boundary that, in his opinion, should have gotten her immediately kicked off the tour. He was angry mostly because she was still on the bus. He stood up and stretched, walking to the bathroom. He passed by Jon's bunk, with the curtain now almost fully closed, and saw two pairs of feet. One obviously belonging to Jon, but the other...
Ryan felt his skin burn hot. Was she going to try and sleep with Spencer net? He continued his trek, but instead went over to Brendon's bunk and woke him up.
"What the hell, dude?" Brendon said groggily. Ryan reached up the bunk above him and woke Spencer as well. They both look at Ryan in question as the boy pointed to the bunk a few forward. Brendon's face fell. He sort of felt bad for lying to Bob, it was him who sort of encouraged sex between him and Addison, but the fact was currently spooning with Jon hurt his feelings. Did he mean that little to her?
Jon didn't know how or really why, but suddenly Addison was above him, his arms were wrapped around her and they were kissing. His desire to keep his morals almost outweighed his desires to feel something real. All of this fantasy going on around him merely made his desire for actual feelings stronger. He finally came to his senses,
"Addison, stop. We can't do this. I can't do this," he said, pushing her body of him. Addison only stared at him in shock. She had been right all along, the feelings she had for him just weren't mutual.
"I'm sorry..." she said, scrambling to sit. She pulled her knees to her chest and felt her face flush red. Jon reached over and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"It's not you, Addison. I really like you. This isn't about you. It's just not right. I'm sorry," Jon said. Addison nodded into her knees, and then quickly stood up. Feeling embarrassed and slutty, she walked to the back room and laid her head down on the couch, taking deep breaths she felt herself starting to drift off, when Brendon walked through the doorway.
"I just don't get it," he said to Addison's sleeping form. She opened her eyes to stare at him. He was leaning back against the closed door with his arms folded over his chest.
"What?" she asked him softly. Didn't he understand that she just wanted to be alone?
"Do I mean that little to you? I thought you liked me, I thought we were together? As far as I know we broke up yesterday and you're already fucking Jon? It's bullshit," he said. Addison sat up at his comment. Was she to be honest with him or sugar coat it to not hurt his feelings? The truth was, she really did like Brendon, but she didn't feel for him in an affectionate way. He was a good kid; that was what she was interested in.
"Brendon...first of all, all I was doing was talking to Jon, but that's really none of your business. Also, you really should know--"
"Excuse Me?" Brendon said leaning off the door and approaching her, "It is my business. Less than 24 hours ago, you were MY girlfriend and that's MY band mate. I definitely have a right to know what's going on!" he exclaimed. Addison stood up and got closer to him.
"No, you don't. What I do in my personal time isn't of your concern, Brendon, and if you want honest, here it is: You are loud, obnoxious, clingy and annoying. You made me sorry I ever slept with you and it takes a lot to make me regret something. Which, by the way, thanks for being a fucking baby and telling on me! How dare you tell Bob I forced myself on you! You put my job in jeopardy. And I don't doubt that you told Ryan and Spencer the same shit story. You're such a fucking child, Brendon. I dumped you because I couldn't stand you! Happy?" she said, her chest heaving. Brendon stood facing her with his mouth agape. That hurt. He really wanted to believe he was a good boyfriend to her. He always doted on her, what was the problem?
"I can change..." he said softly. This comment caused Addison to back off. She looked at him intently. Suddenly she wasn't so sure she wanted to let him go. Addison was never one to let her guard down so easily, so she crossed her arms in defense.
"Change? How do you plan on doing that? The first thing you have to do is make it right, Brendon. Tell Bob I didn't force myself on you, I would never do that to anyone. Tell Jon you're sorry, and then tell Ryan I still hate him," she said with a slight smile. Brendon forced a half smile, and then opened his arms, signifying for her to hug him. She sighed, she didn't want to give in that easily, but Jon wasn't going to be with her and sex with Brendon never failed.
"I'm not hugging you or anything until you give me your word. Make it right," she said, still crossing her arms. Brendon sighed and let his arms fall and nodded.
"I'll talk to Bob this afternoon, I promise. Just give me another chance. I can't help my loud obnoxiousness but I can try to give you a little more space to be you, okay? I just want to be with you, seriously. Please?" he said, pouting. Addison grinned. How in the hell was anyone ever supposed to say no to that pout?! She walked up to him and placed her arms gently around his neck. He half smiled again then leaned in to kiss her.
"You must cast some kind of spell, Brendon Urie. I'm actually going to let you live," she said. He placed his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, kissing her deeply...
**********
You know it could be so much better than it's been
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