FicWad

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Futurama. I wrote this story purely for the enjoyment of myself and others, not for economic gain.

"That's impossible," said Leela.

"No. They're...they're really tall."

"How tall is really tall?"

Kif refused to answer. The earthquake got more and more violent. Before long, voices were heard.

"You think this where squishy man is?" There was a pause. "Okay."

"Oh no...hide!" Kif yelled. But it was too late. The Amazonians (there were four of them) reached the clearing and saw the Planet Express ship.

"What this?" asked one of them.

"It's a..." started the unmistakable voice of Zapp, but he was interrupted by Leela screaming his name over and over again.

"What that high pitched noise?" The Amazonian bent over and peered at the ground. Upon seeing Leela, he gasped. "A WOMAN!" He then saw Amy. "Two woman!" He then got out his spear and pointed it at Leela. Leela screamed a bloodcurdling scream.

"Zapp! Help me!"

In an uninteresting sounding voice, Zapp said "put your spear down. She means us no harm."

"But she woman!"

"They're okay. Once you get used to their bitching and nagging."

"Well, I guess good-looking man right. She small anyway." He lowered his spear.

"Set me down," said Zapp to the Amazonian, as he had been carried by him. The Amazonian set him down.

"ZAPP!" screamed Leela, rushing for him. She wrapped her arms around him in tight embrace and began to kiss him but Zapp pulled away.

"No, Leela."

"Huh? What?"

"No."

"But..." her voice trailed away. Tears formed in her eyes. Bender laughed hysterically. He loved comedies, especially if hearts were broken during them.

"We should get going, sir," said Kif after having made out with Amy for the past with minutes.

"Going? Why?" He appeared genuinely confused.

"Because we don't belong here, sir."

"What? Are you crazy! It's one big bachelor party here plus all the uns-uns you want...it's great!"

"Um...uns-uns?" asked Amy.

"Sex," Zapp replied promptly.

"But you said it's one big bachelor party," Amy reminded him.

"Yes, so?"

Everyone was silent for a moment, then they realised it.

Bender slapped his forehead. "Oh lordy..."

"YUCK!" screamed Amy.

Leela said nothing, only glared at him.

Fry looked around at everyone. "What's going on?"

"Fry, my slow friend, I've realised something after coming to this planet. I'm gay."

"Zapp...how could you!?!" Leela screamed. She then charged at him.

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On the way home on the Planet Express

"I can't believe we got away from those Amazonians after Leela beat Zapp up," said Amy. She turned to Zapp, in a full-body cast, and snickered.

"I'm just glad my Kify's okay," Amy said, sitting in Kif's lap and making out.

"Oh, aren't we all," Leela replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She steered the ship roughly to the right, causing Zapp to fall off the bed he was lying on. His screams echoed throughout the ship. "Good," said Leela. "Stupid Zapp..."

"Um...Leela?" said Fry, approaching her.

"What is it, Fry," she sighed.

"What...what about me? I know I'm not gay. Please? Please? Give me a chance."

"I...ok, Fry. But if you disappoint me on our first date, it's over."

"Yes, captain!" he saluted. Leela grinned at him. Fry pulled her closer and kissed her.

"Oh, Fry," Leela murmured. They kissed again...and Leela was happy once more.

The End

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See any mistakes? Any suggestions? Ratings and reviews are greatly appreciated! Thanks!

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I hope you enjoyed the book. I apologize for all the delays in getting the chapters out.