FicWad

I stood in front of the mirror wearing my wedding dress. My stomach seemed to be growing each day and I just hoped that my dress would still fit me when my wedding came around. It was lucky I bought one that was a little too big to start with.

I ran my hand down the fabric and continued to study myself. I remember when I first realized how I felt about Gerard, I imagined us getting married. I planned it all. We would have a wedding at night, not during the day. And there would be white flowers everywhere. I laughed at remembering my plans. I was still have my night wedding, with all the white flowers, but the man who was going to be standing at the altar wasn't the one I imagined in my dreams. It was a stand in. A replacement. For someone I had chosen to leave behind. And did I regret it? Of course. There were times where I wished my life was with Gerard and not Tim. But I had made a decision, the day I left with Tim. The day I chose him over Gerard, and I couldn't go back and change it. It was Tim and me for now on. And I could learn to live with that.

I heard the front door open and quickly moved to close the bedroom door. There was a soft knock on the door and it started to open.

"No! Tim, don't come in. You can't see me."

"Why not?" he asked, pausing.

"I'm wearing my wedding dress right now. Hold on, I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay." He shut the door and I removed my dress. I came out of the bedroom a minute later to see Tim looking slightly distraught. I took a seat next to him on the couch and ran a hand through his hair. "What's wrong honey?"

"Work" he muttered, putting his arm around me shoulder. I nestled my head on his chest.

"What happened?"

"I have to go out of town for a week."

"What's wrong with that?"

"I get back the day before the wedding."

I lifted my head from his chest and placed it on his shoulder. "Do you have to go?"

"Yeah. Speaking of work, when are you going back to work?"

"I'm not sure. I was told to call when I want to come back."

"I wish I could spend some more time with you before our wedding."

"It's okay honey. It will be fine. At least youre not going to miss the wedding. At least not for work reasons."

He laughed a little. "Don't worry. I'll be there. And I hope you are too."

"I promise I will." I flicked on the TV. and Tim kissed my forehead. I loved this. Being with him and not having to talk. Sometimes I didn't know what to say. Sometimes I felt like I didn't even know who he was. But this was nice. I felt a pang of guilt though. I enjoyed when he was out of town. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and I couldn't explain why.

I dozed off, but was awoken when the phone rang. I expected Tim to get it, so I stayed on my spot on the couch. The phone rang a few more times before I realized Tim wasn't around.

"Hello?" I asked, picking up the phone. There was silence on the other end of the phone. "Hello?" I asked again. "Is anyone there?" Whoever was on the other end of the phone failed to answer so I hung up. I was returning to my spot on the couch when the phone rang again, and once again I picked it up.

"Hello?" Again silence. I thought I could make out someone breathing on the other end but I wasn't sure. "Listen, if you're not going to talk, then don't bother calling." I waited for a reply, and when I got none, I hung up the phone.

I looked around my empty apartment. There were magazines scattered across the coffee table, and a pile of dirty plates that I had asked Tim to clean yesterday still sitting in the sink. I sighed, not in the mood to get angry, and walked over to clean them.

I had just finished washing the dishes and was putting the plates in the cupboard when a searing pain ripped through my stomach. I dropped the plates, and they fell to the ground. They broke, and shards were lying all over the kitchen floor. I slid down to the floor, my hands narrowly missing the shards, but I wasn't paying attention to them. My stomach hurt so badly. I moaned and tried to make my way to the phone, but it was no use. The pain started to get worse, and things were beginning to go out of focus. I was about to pass out when someone rushed into my apartment. It was my neighbor. She rushed to the phone and called the ambulance before she caught me as I was falling over.

"Sara. Stay with me. Listen to my voice okay. Help will be here soon." I concentrated on her voice and face. What's wrong with me? I thought. My neighbor sat their holding her head until the ambulance came and I was taken away. Upon my arrival to the hospital, I was rushed into a single room, and a doctor came in immediately to inspect me.

"Ms. Klassen, I need to know how along you are."

"Seven and a half months" I moaned. The pain had lessened, but it was still uncomfortable.

"Okay." He pulled a cart up next to my bed, pulled my shirt up over my stomach, and placed some weird paddles on my stomach. He then proceeded to turn on the little screen. I saw my baby on the screen. It saw its miniscule hands, and its beautiful head. The doctor studied the screen intently and then he left the room. A nurse came in a moment later carrying a clipboard.

"Excuse me miss. I need you to fill these out." She handed me the clipboard and a pen. I felt uneasy as she waited next to me. I handed them back to her, and asked her to call Tim. The doctor came back a moment later and he was consulting a folder.

"Ms. Klassen," he finally said. "It seems that your placenta is starting to tear away from the walls of your uterus. Now for now, this will do no harm, but if it continues, then there may be some serious damage done."

"So what should I do?"

"Well, I think it would be best if you were not to do any heavy labor. Just take it easy."

"Is that all?"

"Yes. You can go now. And if the pain happens again, be sure to come to us right away."

"Thank you." The doctor exited, and I climbed off the bed. I walked slowly to the waiting room and took a seat, expecting Tim to be here anytime soon. I waited about half an hour before I called a cab. I walked out the front doors to see Tim walking briskly towards me.

"Sara. What happened?"

"Tim. Where were you?" I asked. I was hurt that he wasn't here earlier.

"I had to go back to work. I couldn't get out sooner honey. I'm sorry. What happened?"

I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his neck and started to cry. "I was so scared Tim. I thought I was going to lose it."

"Lose what?"

"My baby" I choked.

"It's okay. Calm down." Tim took me to the car and I sat in the front, my eyes closed. I had just said my baby. Not ours. Mine.


I could feel Tim's eyes on me, but I didn't want to look at him. Guilt was taking over my conscience. And if I didn't get away from him soon, I might do something I would regret. Or not.

My thoughts moved onto Gerard. He had said that he hated me. No, he had said that hate wasn't strong enough to describe what he was feeling. When he had said it, I couldn't believe my ears. I tried calling him a few times, but all I got was his machine. I even called the guys from the band, and they didn't answer my calls. What was happening?

"Sara." Tim interrupted my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I looked over at him.

"You won't ever be alone. I'll always be here. I promise." He squeezed my hand reassuringly.

Promises. They weren't always kept. But I knew Tim would stay true to hi