Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Loves Punishment (I'm back and adding a couple chapters a week! READ!)
Reviews
Loves Punishment (I'm back and adding a couple chapters a week! READ!)
(#) LOVELA 2007-03-04
It was wonderful. I could feel the tension. I totally have a phobia with meeting the parents! I know how Arissa feels.Author's response
Finally a REVIEW! I was so close to rewriting! Thanks Lovela! You freaking ROCK!Loves Punishment (I'm back and adding a couple chapters a week! READ!)
(#) danceislife 2007-03-04
I don't like how his mom is so mean! I figured she would be nicer...but I wasn't so nice when my brother dated someone my age (he's 5 years older) so I guess I can get the age comment...Author's response
Well, to be fair they are both of age. She is twenty and he is twenty five. Mrs.Wentz just wanted to make her feel uneasy. A little self conscience. She is just a little biased. Glad to have another review! Thanks sweets!Loves Punishment (I'm back and adding a couple chapters a week! READ!)
(#) whatkatydid 2007-03-05
She figured that's what love was though. The feeling of elation and misery in one glorious moment. Great line, such wisdom in one sentence.
They got off the car and Arissa let her breath catch in her throat as she looked up at the mass of brick. She stopped as they came up to the black iron gate surrounding the yard and looked at Pete again for reassurance. Opening the gate he nodded for her to go thorough and she did. The front door was big and white and far too close. She slowed and breathed deep. The windows were large and the steps to the porch were waiting. Yeah, I loved this paragraph, your descriptive writing is totally brilliant.
I rated this as ambiance because the whole chapter was full of it.
This was excellent, I'm interested so much in why Mommy Wentz is being a cowbag. Also,I liked the fact she saw all of Arissa's flaws first, usually they take a while to come through....
Great chapter - if people don't leave reviews, it's only cos they're lazy and no other reason. Trust me - I'm worst for it - ask my wife....(frostedglass/Alex/Austria) haha.
hearts.
xxAuthor's response
LoL! Cowbag! LMAO! HeHe! Ok, Um... I don't know why she is so damn mean either. Pissed me off when I read it. I wonder what is going to happen next. Thanks for the point and the most awesome review I've gotten thus far!Loves Punishment (I'm back and adding a couple chapters a week! READ!)
(#) duckapple 2007-03-05
Just so you know, its 5:04am
I should be working on a Hemingway paper that was due a month ago.
But I'm not.
I read this instead.
I hope you're happy.
hehAuthor's response
I'm happy. I hope you get your work done though. Those papers are a bitch. Get on it! Maybe you should call on Pete for help?!Loves Punishment (I'm back and adding a couple chapters a week! READ!)
(#) GwenMerlon 2007-03-05
Ok, I must admit that I read this yesterday when you posted, I was just one of the lazy ones who didn't post. :) But it wasn't because it wasn't GOOD! I thought this chapter was simply fantastic! I actually felt the tension... If that had been me in her situation, I don't know how I would have handled myself, but you did a great job at showing how uncomfortable the situation was. I'm completely impressed and anxiously await your next chapter!!!Author's response
Aww... Good to know. I didn't mean to make you feel guilty or anything. I just felt funny about the chapter and when I didn't get reviews I was ready to delete it. I was like REWRITE! I'm glad everyone thinks I'm descriptive because I don't think I am that descriptive. I can always see where improvemets need to be made. I loved writing that one because I sort of challenged myself. I might do it again soon... There was pressure, but it was really GOOD! Thanks for the review! More soon!!!Loves Punishment (I'm back and adding a couple chapters a week! READ!)
(#) riaryder 2007-03-05
God, I go away for like 3 days and the whole world goes mad and updates! I'll blame the lunar eclipse. Anyway, apologies for my slowness, lady.
Great chapter. Arissa's lack of self-confidence is always a little surprising considering our introduction to her in your opening chapters. It just maked her more rounded and believable though.
And what is with Pete's mother? What a witch! I am very intrigued by her reaction.
I love the way you jump in and ut of the present. It makes the time you spend on Pete and Arissa's past all the more poignant though, because we know there is no happily ever after for them. Sigh. Sadness.
Have a point just so you don't doubt your wonderfulness again xxAuthor's response
Yay! A point! WooHoo! At first I didn't understand what they were for...Now I do! I love them! Thanks! Glad you like the story! P.S. Does anyone know where Pixied Secrets is? I'm sad she hasn't been reading!
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