Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Forever Feels Like Home

Chapter 9

by LOVELA 10 reviews

Thoughts of being with another.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Drama - Warnings: [!] [X] - Published: 2007-04-25 - Updated: 2007-04-26 - 3383 words - Complete

I leaned back against Pete resting between his legs feeling his warmth surround me as I stared into the blue turning to orange flames rise higher as Joe put more wood on the camp fire in front of me.

We had graduated two weeks prior and the gang decided to go up to Ady's dad's property on the lake.

It was a relaxing little spot on the lake. We had all each pitched a tent for each couple. Even Patrick brought a girl, which I hadn't noticed until that moment, but it had caused me to be a little jealous. She was a cute, petite, blonde who had a bubbly personality. She was perfect for him.

"So, do you think they are coming back?" Joe asked looking into the words towards the spot where Ady and Andy had disappeared off to about thirty minutes prior.

"I'm sure they are just fine," Pete said laughing slightly.

"But, I don't hear anything," Joe said not moving so his ears could take in as much sound as possible.

"Joe! Stop being a pervert!" AJ said from her spot on the ground.

"What if they get eaten by a bear," Joe said shrugging as he sat down and put his arm protectively around AJ.

"There are bears out here?" Jessa, Patrick's blonde, asked sounding scared.

"I'm pretty sure the things they are doing out there are far more scary than any bear. No wild animal is going to be bothering them," Pete said laughing.

"Besides, there aren't bears out here. We aren't that far into the woods. Now coyotes, well that's another story," I said simply.

"Coyotes?" Jessa asked shocked.

"No, no. They are more afraid of us than we are of them," Patrick said trying to soothe the nervous blonde.

He shot me a look from across the fire that read "knock it off."

I just smiled and looked down into my hands. It was far too easy.

"Wild animals or not, the boys can protect the damsels," Pete said puffing out his chest slightly.

"Right. You couldn't fight off a chipmunk," I said laughing.

"What was that Izzy? Were you making fun of me?" he asked looking at me with shock in his face.

"No of course not," I said in a sarcastic tone.

Pete stood up and looked down on me in mock shock.

"Well, I'm sorry that I have to do this to you," he said simply.

I looked up at him in shock. The amusement had completely left my face.

"Do what?" I asked knowing full well that his mischievous mind could pretty much do anything at this point.

"You leave me no choice," he said sighing.

"Wentz," I warned.

Pete leaned down and picked me up swiftly throwing me over his shoulder.

"Put me down!" I squealed hearing the others just laugh.

"You did this to yourself, Izzy," he said laughing as he started to walk towards the lake.

"You better fucking not be doing what I think you are doing!" I yelled.

The only response that I got from him was his over joyous laugh that I hadn't heard in a long time. I tried to look up and through my hair hanging in my face, and I saw the gang following us down towards the lake.

"Patrick. Help me. Please," I reached out for him.

Patrick just put his hands up stating in a nonverbal fashion that he was staying out of this. I just stated in a nonverbal fashion that he could fuck himself by flicking him off. Patrick just laughed.

"Pete, seriously! Put me down!" I screamed as he walked out onto the dock.

"Put you down?" he asked with humor in his voice.

"Yes!" I said not finding the situation funny.

"Alright," he said throwing me off of the end of the dock into the dark water.

I shot up to the surface spitting out the water that had seeped into my mouth.

"You fucker, Wentz!" I yelled.

He just laughed as he saw me treading the water. It was surprisingly warm due to the water temperature being warmer than the air. It felt oddly refreshing.

"Oh my God!" Joe laughed video taping the entire event.

I was finding it hard to laugh at the moment.

"I'm gonna kill you!" I yelled at the entire group of people laughing at me.

Patrick smiled and walked to the end of the dock. He leaned down and looked at me with pity.

"Are you ok?" he asked quietly.

"I'm fine. Will you help me out?" I asked swimming up to the edge.

"Sure. Here," he said offering his hand.

"Thanks," I smiled sweetly pulling with all the might I had in my body causing Patrick to fall in face first.

"Holy Shit!" I heard Pete laughing from the dock.

Patrick came up with a big gasp of air.

We both were now treading water listening to the background noise of laughter and a small voice asking Patrick if he was ok. I just smiled slyly at him. The moonlight reflecting off the water reflected off his eyes.

"Bitch," he whispered smiling back at me.

"Opps," I said simply.

Patrick just took his glasses off and set them on the dock and then he went under the water.

"Patrick?" I asked nervous.

It was impossible to see him in the darkness of the water. I suddenly felt him tug at my ankle pulling me under. I somehow managed to break free and push him down by his shoulders. We both gasped for air as we reached the surface laughing at one another. Patrick stared into my eyes breathing deeply spitting the water from his moist lips. I froze in my spot staring back. There was that look again.

We were interrupted by two large splashes coming from both sides of us. I thought we were being bombed, but it was only Joe and Pete joining in on the fun. AJ even daintily jumped in off the dock. All of us splashed around and laughed at one another in the moonlight of the evening.

"Jessa! The water's great. Come join us," AJ said giggling as Joe pulled her away from the dock.

"No, I think I'll stay here," she said shyly from her post.

"Come on. There isn't anything to worry about. Nothing is going to hurt you," I said feeling Pete put his arms around me in a warm hug.

"I'm fine," she smiled tight lipped and turned around to walk away.

I heard Patrick sigh deeply and pull himself out of the water. He seemed irritated. I just wasn't sure if it was from me or her.

I just shrugged as he walked down the dock with water excessively dripping off of him the entire way. Pete pulled me around to face him. We treaded water in one another's arms.

"Are you mad?" he asked me.

"No. This is fun," I said back pulling him closer to me putting my head in his chest.

"We should get out of the water," he whispered.

I just nodded finally starting to feel the cold.

"Hey," he whispered lightly moving my head to face him.

I looked up into his eyes and melted completely. There was a spark in them that I hadn't seen for weeks.

"I love you, forever," he whispered.

"I love you, forever and a day," I one-upped him.

He smiled down on me and kissed me deeply. I moaned slightly wrapping my legs around him tightly having him to keep both of us above water.

"HEY! Get a tent, would ya?" Joe asked from the other side of the dock.

We both just laughed and got ourselves out of the lake.

I was taken out of my thoughts as I sat under the hot steaming shower just forcing myself to feel every drop of water pour down over my body. I let my thoughts become blank as I focused on the present and everything that I was physically feeling.

Patrick had finally gotten me calmed down enough to get me into the shower. He said it would help me feel better.

I hadn't realized exactly how long I was in the shower until I noticed the scolding water turn to cold. I shivered slightly under the cold water and turned it off. I stood in my shower just breathing in the lingering steam.

I opened the shower door and carefully stepped out onto the cool tile of my bathroom floor wrapping a large towel around my body. I stood at the mirror, but it was too foggy to see my image. I could only see a blurry outline. That was truly how I felt at that moment. I felt like a large blur.

I reached out and wiped away the condensation and stared into my own eyes. I looked older than my years. The bags under my eyes were proof that I hadn't had a good night's sleep in weeks. I looked so sad.

I stood there contemplating my life and what to do next when I heard voices. Patrick's was the only audible one, but it was obvious that he was talking to someone. I looked over at the door confused and I held my breath trying to hear what was being said.

I soon got frustrated with trying to figure out who was in my apartment and I opened the door and cautiously walked out into the hallway. The talking immediately stopped as I slowly walked into the living room. Patrick was standing in the middle of my living room looking back towards me and there sat Katy on my couch raising an eyebrow at me.

"Katy," I said simply.

"Izzy," she said back.

I just rolled my eyes and walked back into my bedroom. I could hear someone following me. I knew that walk anywhere.

"So, I talked to some people," Katy said shutting the door behind her.

I just sat down on my bed and stared at a spot on my carpet and nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me that you and Jeremy broke up?" Katy asked as she sat down next to me.

I just shook my head now. I really had no words to speak.

"What happened?" she asked putting an arm around me trying to evoke some response.

"He said that he didn't love me anymore," I whispered.

"Jeremy said that?" Katy asked shocked.

I just closed my eyes and shook my head no. I rested my head on her shoulder as she rocked us back and forth.

"Pete," I breathed out.

I felt Katy sigh deeply.

"Are you still upset about that?" Katy asked leaning her head onto mine.

"I called him after Jeremy broke up with me," I said crying now.

Katy stiffened up and removed her head to look at me.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

It wasn't an accusation, but more of a why would I put myself in so much pain. She really was motherly when she wanted to be.

"I just wanted to hear him say it," I sighed wiping my eyes dry with my hand.

"Oh, Izzy," she said putting her arm tighter around me.

"He said he didn't love me, Katy. Why doesn't he love me?" I broke down crying.

"I don't know," she said quietly allowing her own tears to flow for seeing her good friend in pain.

We sat there in silence allowing the only sound to be my sobs and my constant questions as to why the boy I couldn't get over didn't love me back.

We were broken out of our silence when we heard a quiet knock on the door.

"It's Patrick," Patrick said quietly from the other side of the door.

Katy and I both took a deep breath and looked at each other.

"Just a second, Trix. I'm changing," I said quietly.

I couldn't see him, but I know he nodded at the door.

"What is he doing here?" Katy asked.

"I have no idea. We haven't gotten a chance to talk about it," I said shrugging as I stood up to go get some clean clothes from my closet.

"Well, he certainly is even more scrumptious looking in person," Katy said crossing her legs as she sat on my bed.

I looked over at her with warning in my eyes.

"What?" she asked trying her best at sounding clueless.

"No, Katy," I said changing into my clothes.

"I'm just saying," she said putting her hands up as though she was surrendering.

"Right," I said pulling my still wet hair into a messy ponytail.


Katy left after much flirting with a very uncomfortable Patrick. I couldn't help but giggle to myself. She knew exactly what she was doing and the fact that Patrick squirmed only provoked her more. It was actually quite cute to watch.

Patrick and I were now curled up on my couch together sitting in a comfortable silence.

"You're friend is friendly," Patrick offered.

I chuckled slightly.

"Yeah. She's forward," I said simply.

"Yeah," Patrick breathed out agreeing with me.

We went back into silence. I felt Patrick's body relax even more around me and I noticed how good it felt to have his arms tightly wrapped around me. I took a deep breath basking in the feeling of it all.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" I asked now being the one to break the silence.

"After we talked on the phone last week, I just had a feeling that you needed a friend," Patrick said quietly.

"So you didn't talk to Pete?" I asked.

Patrick straightened up slightly causing me to sit up and look over at him.

"No, why?" he asked almost sounding angry.

I just looked Patrick in the eyes not able to find the right words to say.

"Jeremy broke up with me," I said quietly.

Patrick's face immediately showed concern and empathy.

"Oh, Iz. I'm sorry," he said pulling me into a hug.

I pulled away from him slightly.

"I called Pete," I admitted in the same tone.

Patrick's shoulders dropped and he almost had a look of disappointment now.

"Did you tell him?" he asked.

"No, I was too hysterical," I said shaking my head no.

"What did you say then?" Patrick asked cautiously.

I just looked down at the floor thinking about my past conversation with Pete. Patrick grabbed my hand and squeezed.

"I just needed to hear him say it," I said looking up at him.

"Say what?" Patrick asked quietly.

"That he didn't love me," I whispered.

Patrick sighed heavily.

"He said that he didn't," I said continuing to look Patrick in the eyes.

Patrick just sat speechless for a moment. I could tell that he wasn't really sure what to say.

"Iz, what in the world caused you to call, Pete?" Patrick asked shaking his head.

"Jeremy knew, Patrick. He knew that I was still in love with him. He knew more than I did," I said looking off to the side.

The look on Patrick's face was making me feel almost ashamed of my actions.

"So that caused you to call Pete?" Patrick asked.

"I just needed the proof. I needed to know for sure that he didn't love me, so I didn't let someone else as great as Jeremy leave my life, again," I said as a single tear fell down my cheek.

Patrick sighed and reached forward putting his hand on my cheek. I grabbed his hand and held it against my face with my eyes closed. His rough hands felt so good on my soft skin.

"I'm so glad you are here," I whispered with my eyes still closed tightly.

"Me too," he whispered back.

I opened my eyes and looked into his. I had noticed that they were taking on a bluer tint than I had ever seen before. I noticed Patrick swallow hard, but he kept his eyes on my own.

My hand slowly reached for his face. He didn't flinch when my hand traced his lips to his cheek, and finally resting on the back of his neck playing with his hair that had grown longer than the last time I had seen him.

I saw Patrick's lips open slightly as he let out a silent sigh.

"Iz," he whispered as I pulled him closer to my face.

"Trix," I whispered back.

Patrick's mouth was mere millimeters apart from mine and I could feel his hot breath on my lips. I shuddered at the anticipation.

Finally his lips were attached to my own releasing a tension that neither of us was aware of. As soon as our lips connected we began an impassioned and desperate act to feel one another. Patrick's hands gripped tightly around my waist as he pulled me lower on the couch so I could lay down with him positioning himself comfortably between my legs.

I quickly reached down for his shirt and pulled it off his body in one quick movement. My hands instinctively went to his chest to feel ever last line and curve. Patrick's hands slowly worked my shirt up. He stopped his act of undressing me to place kisses on my stomach leaving a tingling impression in his path.

I arched my back at the feeling of his mouth on my body and closed my eyes tightly. As soon as my eyes closed my thoughts swarmed with reality. Questions came flying at all directions, but I quickly pushed them away. I wanted this. I needed this.

Patrick was successful in getting my shirt off only removing his mouth for a fraction of a second. I started to unbuckle his pants which caused him to nip at my neck.

I gasped in with pleasure and frantically worked at getting his pants off. He was driving me crazy and I needed to feel good. Patrick took my cues and also quickened his pace at getting me undressed.

"Are you sure?" Patrick whispered looking deeply into my eyes.

They were so full of hope and lust I felt butterflies in my stomach.

I nodded at him breathing deeply with eagerness.

As soon as I felt him enter me I raised my hips to meet his fully. Patrick let out a slight moan. His movements started slow and sensual, but it wasn't what I wanted. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist and pulled him closer to me.

"More, Patrick," I urged closing my eyes tightly at the feeling of him inside of me.

Patrick obeyed and quickened his pace and deepened his penetration with each thrust. His hand reached under my thigh as he pulled me closer to him.

With my eyes shut tightly visions of Pete crept into my mind. I scrunched my face up and turned my head to the side trying desperately to vanquish him from my memories. Soon it was Pete that was on top of me. It was his lips placing kisses on my neck and it was his hands rubbing up and down my body.

"God, Iz," Patrick moaned.

My eyes shot open as reality hit me. I looked up and saw Patrick staring down on me with not a look of lust, but a look of love. I reached forward and pulled Patrick into a kiss causing him to moan out in pleasure.

"Patrick," I moaned loudly finally releasing the tension that I had wanted to for so long.

A whirlwind of emotions engulfed me. For a full 30 seconds I felt good. I felt elated and content. As I felt Patrick's body collapse onto me, my thoughts did so as well. I laid there gently playing with strands of Patrick's hair and feeling his breathing work on returning to a normal pace. My thoughts were filled with worries and guilt. I let a single tear fall down my cheek as I laid in post-sex bliss with one man and my thoughts consumed with another.

I have to apologize for not updating on a more regular basis. I have no excuses to give. Thanks again to all the wonderful and faithful reviewers and readers.


You should all thank her because if it weren't for her, this update probably would have been about a week later!

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