FicWad

"Has Pete talked to you lately?" I inquired as Patrick and I sat and talked in a local coffee shop.

"About what?" he asked shifting slightly in his seat.

"Well, he was pretty snippy last night, I was just wondering what was up," I said taking a sip of my coffee.

"He hadn't said anything to me. What do you mean by snippy?" he asked.

"Well, he kind of...well, he...he was just a little rough last night after I mentioned something about band practice," I said shrugging.

"Izzy, stop," Patrick snapped.

My head popped up in shock. I looked over at Patrick who had his head in his hand.

"What?" I asked shocked by his behavior.

"I am so sick and tired of hearing what he does to you. Pete is my best friend. Do you know how hard it is to hear this on a daily basis?" he asked sounding angry.

I was speechless.

"Look, I know you are going to stick by Pete. I can't blame you for that, but you can't blame me for hating it," he said and shifted again in his seat.

"Nice, Patrick," I said angry.

He looked back at me in shock.

"Let me remind you of something. You are the one who asks me constantly about how things are going with Pete. You are the one who pushes me. Sorry to think you actually cared," I snapped and stood up to leave.

"Izzy," Patrick said shocked following me out the door.

People gave us stares as we left.

"Izzy stop!" he yelled causing me to stop and turn around.

I wasn't sure where this change of heart came from.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I do push you and I shouldn't. I just had a really bad week, and I shouldn't take it out on you," he said sounding defeated.

My heart softened. This was our first fight ever. I wasn't supposed to be fighting with him.

"I didn't realize that talking about Pete bothered you so much. I won't do it anymore," I said quietly walking towards him.

"No, it's not that. It's just...it's nothing," he shrugged.

"What is it, Patrick?" I asked placing a hand on his shoulder, which he slightly shrugged out of.

I was shocked by this small display of not wanting me to touch him.

"It's nothing. Really," he smiled, but it was forced.

I just nodded.

I opened my eyes and saw his staring back at me.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," I whispered back.

It was early morning now. We had moved to my bed last night being that it fit two people more comfortably than the couch.

We just stared at each other not really knowing what to say to one another. I stared at his facial features with a pain in my heart. I really did love this man who looked on me adoringly, but I couldn't help but feel that what we did was wrong. No matter what, every time that I looked at Patrick, I would think of Pete. It wasn't fair to him.

I got lost in his eyes as I got lost even deeper into my thoughts. Why did Pete have to ruin everything? I felt nausea rise into my throat. This wasn't the anxiety talking, this was different. This was serious nausea.

I bolted out of the bed and ran into the bathroom closing the door behind me in just enough time to vomit.

"Are you ok?" I heard Patrick ask from outside the door.

"Fine," I said taking a deep breath. The nausea passed as I rinsed my mouth out.

I didn't hear Patrick reply, I only heard my door open and slam shut. I panicked. He thought I was puking because of him.

I ran out of the bathroom in full sprint and out of my apartment door.

"Patrick!" I yelled just as the apartment building's front door shut.

I bolted down the steps skipping three at a time. I burst out the front entrance and looked both ways down the sidewalk. I spotted Patrick unlocking his driver's side door.

"Patrick!" I yelled and sprinted towards him.

He looked over at me with shock in his face.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked with a slight smile playing over his features looking at me out of breath and in my pajamas.

"Don't go. I'm not sick because of you. I swear," I said trying to catch my breath.

"Well, I hope you aren't sick because of me. I was just going to run to the store and get you some Sprite for your stomach and some breakfast," he smiled at me.

I looked at him shocked and then over at his car.

"You drove to Minnesota?" I asked changing the subject.

"Yeah. I had some things that I needed to think about. I thought a six hour drive would be the perfect thing for that," he said shrugging.

I nodded slightly.

"Are you ok?" he asked leaning over to look me in the eyes.

He was trying to read my mind. I could tell.

"I'm fine. I'm going to go lay back down," I said quietly.

"I'll be right back," he said and got into his car.

I slowly walked back into my apartment and pulled out my covers and got under them feeling the nausea rise up in my throat again. I just took a deep breath and pulled out my cell phone. It was early to be making phone calls, but I didn't care.

"Are you dying?" a tired voice asked into the phone.

"Not quite," I said.

"Then can this wait till a decent hour?" the voice mumbled.

"Not really," I said back.

"Then what?" Crystal asked irritated.

"I slept with Patrick," I blurt out.

There was a long silence on the other line. I knew she didn't hang up and I knew the call didn't get dropped. I'm sure she was in shock.

"Wow, Izzy. You sure do know how to wake a girl up," she said simply.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked crying out.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing is wrong with you," Crystal said sternly.

"No, something is wrong with me. Jeremy just broke up with me two days ago, I cheated on him with my ex, I slept with Patrick, and I want to be with someone who doesn't want me back. Something is wrong with me," I said as tears spilled onto my cheeks.

"Izzy, you just need to focus on yourself, Hun. You are too caught up with everyone else," Crystal said sadly.

"No, I think my problem is that I have been only thinking of myself. When did things get this way, Crystal?" I cried.

"I don't know, Izzy," she whispered.

I couldn't say anything else. I was too upset. I could only sob into the phone.

"Do you want me to come over?" Crystal asked.

"No. Patrick will be back shortly. I'm sure we'll talk and try to figure out what happened," I said sadly.

"Izzy, you guys love each other. That's what happened. He's in love with you. I knew that from the moment I met you freshman year, and I think deep down you love him too," Crystal said with amusement in her voice.

"Patrick has not been in love with me since freshman year," I said shocked.

"No, probably longer," Crystal said simply.

I sat in a shocked silence.

"See, you know it too," she giggled.

I heard the door open and I quickly wiped my tears away.

"He's back. I gotta go," I whispered.

"Call me with the details," she sang and hung up the phone before I could respond.

I put my phone down just as he walked into the room with a glass of Sprite for me.

"Here. This should help your stomach," he said sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Thanks," I said and took a sip.

I looked down into the glass of Sprite wanting it to give me all the answers. It just fizzed.

Patrick reached over and brushed my hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. I just sighed and looked up at him.

"What's up?" he asked.

"We need to talk," I said putting my glass on my night stand.

I heard him sigh now.

"About last night," I finished.

"I know," he said in a near whisper.

We both sat in silence. I didn't know where or how to start this conversation. I looked down into my hands scared of how the conversation was going to end even before it started. I felt the tears well up into my eyes and I was sure that the silence was going to engulf us both into oblivion.

"Iz?" he asked when he noticed that I had started to cry.

"Trix, I am so sorry!" I cried.

"Sorry? Why are you sorry?" he asked looking at me cautiously.

"I love you. I really do love you," I cried.

"Well, I love you too," he said now grabbing one of my hands.

"I know. That's why this is so hard," I said crying harder.

"Iz, just say it," he whispered knowing full well where this conversation was going.

"Do you know how many times I've found myself wishing that you were somebody else? I've wanted you to be anybody else except for Pete's best friend?" I cried.

"I know. I've done it myself about you many times," he said looking down sadly.

"I want you to be the person that I want to be with. I want you to be the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I really do. So badly," I said crying and putting my hand on his cheek.

"I know, Iz. I shouldn't have pushed you so much," he whispered.

"No, Trix. No. This wasn't just your doing. I did it too. I was just confused and hurt and wanting to feel something, anything but sadness," I said crying.

"I knew what I was doing last night, Iz. I knew the state you were in and I took advantage of it. I shouldn't have done it," he said looking at me in the eyes.

"Are we going to be ok? Because not having you in my life right now would probably be the end of me," I said hiccupping with sobs.

"Iz. Of course we are going to be ok. I still love you. I'm not going to abandon you," he said wrapping me in a hug to calm me down.

"I love you too, Trix," I said squeezing him closer to my body.

-----

"Alright. I just talked to Crystal and she told me that you slept with that scrumptious Biscuit!" Katy yelled into the phone.

I pulled the phone away from my ear and noticed Patrick look over at me with shock. I shrugged at him.

"Katy, can you keep your voice down?" I asked in a hushed tone.

I knew that Patrick could hear everything that she was saying being that we were both sitting next to each other in my bed. He was keeping me company being that I couldn't keep any food down due to my nausea.

"Tell me. Was it any good?" she asked with excitement.

I looked over at Patrick who had his eyebrow raised and a slight smirk on his face.

"I can't really talk about this right now," I said hesitantly.

"Oh no you don't. Do not hold out on me," she demanded.

"Katy, he's sitting right next to me," I said sternly into the phone.

Patrick chuckled.

"Are you guys in bed?" she asked excitedly.

"KATY!" I yelled.

"You cheeky monkeys!" she squealed.

"Goodbye, Katy!" I said and hung up the phone before she could cause any more embarrassment to me.

"So you told your girlfriends?" he asked amused.

I just sighed and shook my head.

Patrick just laughed and put his arm around me pulling me into his chest.

-----

My slumber was interrupted by my phone ringing. I reached for it with my eyes closed wanting nothing more but for the sound to stop. I realized that my phone was on the nightstand opposite of me and I groaned out slightly.

"Patrick," I nudged him in the side.

"Stop it," he moaned.

"Patrick," I whined.

"What?" he asked sounding more coherent than before.

"Will you please make my phone stop ringing?" I asked with my eyes still closed.

He moaned slightly and grabbed my phone opening it up and answering it.

"Hello?" he answered groggily.

My head shot up with shock as I looked over at him.

I saw his face scrunch up and he just shut my phone setting it back down.

"What was that?" I asked loudly.

"They hung up," he said simply still not opening his eyes.

"No, not that. Why did you answer it?" I asked.

Patrick opened one eye and looked at me.

"You told me to make it stop ringing. How else do you propose that I stop a phone from ringing?" he asked irritated.

"Ah, by pushing the ignore button," I said crawling over him to see who had called.

Patrick oof'ed out in pain as I put my elbow in his stomach in order to get to my phone.

"Shit!" I said loudly.

"I think I'm going to hurl," he said rolling over on his side in pain.

"Get in line," I said feeling sick myself.

"Why? Who was it?" he asked.

I was speechless. I just showed him the most recent name under missed calls.

"Shit," Patrick muttered as he saw JB's name lit up.

-----

"I've got to go talk to him," I said rushing around my apartment.

"Iz, are you sure?" Patrick asked watching me with caution.

"Yes. I've already hurt him so much through this whole process. I need to talk to him. Can I borrow your car?" I asked looking at him with defeat. I couldn't find my car keys anywhere.

Patrick nodded and handed me his keys.

"You be careful," he said hugging me and kissing me on the forehead.

"I promise. I won't hurt your precious car," I said sarcastically.

"I didn't mean that, but yeah, while you're at it, be careful with that as well," he said laughing slightly.

I smacked him in the arm and walked out of the apartment.

As I drove down the busy streets, my mind wandered to my future conversation with JB. I had to tell him the truth. I had to tell him the entire truth. I was planning on telling Patrick first, but this would have to do. I should have told Patrick as soon as he showed up on my doorstep, but every time I went to tell him, I panicked. I couldn't do that with JB. He needed to know, and this was my only chance.

As I drove down the road a very annoying song started to play loudly. I looked around, but didn't see anything. It was coming from beside me. It was Patrick's phone.

"God, what an annoying ring tone," I said irritated.

The annoying song would stop, but start right back up again. I clutched my hands around the steering wheel tighter as the song continued to play. It was going on its fourth round when I couldn't take it anymore.

"What?" I asked into the phone.

"Who is this?" the person asked shocked and irritated by how I answered the phone.

"This is Izzy, who is this?" I asked irritated back.

"Izzy?" he asked.

My heart stopped in my chest. Shit, shit, shit.

"Pete," I breathed out.

"Why are you answering Patrick's phone?" he asked accusingly.

"Because I am in his car," I said simply.

"And why are you in his car?" he now asked sounding angry.

"Because I needed to borrow it," I said being vague.

"Izzy is Patrick with you?" he asked. I could tell by the sound in his voice he was not amused by my previous responses.

"Currently no, but he is at my apartment," I said quietly.

"Well, that's interesting," he snapped.

I sighed trying to concentrate on the road.

"I take it he didn't tell you he was coming to Minnesota," I said quietly.

"Not exactly," Pete said not amused.

"Well, don't take it out on me! It's not my fault!" I said irritated that he was being snippy.

"Yeah sure. You didn't call him like you called me in complete hysterics? Jesus, Izzy, do you know what you did to me that night?" he asked angry.

"What I did to you!? Do you have any idea what you did to me!?" I yelled as the tears fell down my face making it difficult for me to see the road.

"Izzy, don't start, please," Pete said calming down slightly.

I closed my eyes trying to get my tears to fall down my cheeks. When I opened them, all I saw were two sets of headlights coming right for me.

I screamed and slammed on the brakes. I felt a large collision and pain seer through my body. The last thing I heard was the ever persistent sound of a car horn blaring.