FicWad

I had thrown off my tie and jacket onto the closest chair because both contributed to the huge amount of sweat my body was exuding. But however much I was sweating, it was nothing compared to my wife. Her hair was drenched with sweat, and her face was covered with beads of perspiration, but she looked beautiful, even with the look of discomfort she wore.

I crossed the room to the washroom where I splashed water on my face. When I looked into the mirror, I studied my features, and literally cringed. I hated looking at myself, because I have always hated the way I looked. It's a very big problem to have a security like that when you're the front man of a band who recently gotten huge internationally thanks to the album we released a couple of months back. The insecurity dates back to when I was a teenager, maybe even before that. Having to see my face plastered everywhere doesn't help the situation.

Before I met the man who almost ruined my life, I was majorly overweight, too much. Not only was it hard on my health, but emotionally, it almost destroyed me. If it wasn't for the constant support of Sara, who was always there for me, then my life wouldn't be the way it was now. In fact, I might not even be here. I don't think Sara realizes how much she has done for me. And never will she know, no matter how hard I try to tell her, how much she means to me. People often say that they would do anything for the person they love, and I wonder if they mean it. But for Sara, I would do anything.

She snapped me back to reality when she hollered for me to come back to her side. I took one last look at my face that I've looked upon with distain for so long, and then returned so her side. I smiled down at her and wiped her forehead with a damp cloth. Then, I took one of her hands in mine and squeezed it.

"I'm scared" she said, her bottom lip trembling ever so slightly.

"Don't be." I kissed her forehead. "Everything is going to be fine."

"Will it? I'm not so sure. Gerard, we haven't though this through. It was too rash, and stupid. I love you, I really do, but, maybe-", she inhaled deeply with a look of doubt in her eyes. "I think we've made a huge mistake."

"I-" I started, but nothing else came out. The air between us had suddenly grown heavy, and we stared at each other. As much as I didn't want to think it, I knew she meant what she had said, and she couldn't take it back. I didn't want her to think that us being together was the wrong thing, or worse, a mistake. It pained me to hear her say such things. But I wasn't going to let her go because of it. I had let her go too easily before, and I wasn't about to do it again.

"We can make this work. I know we can."

She laughed. "Really? You're a rock star, for heavens sake. What am I supposed to do when you go on tour in a few weeks? Am I supposed to take of our child alone? I can't do that."

"You can come on tour with us," I said without thinking, and immediately regretted it. Sara glared at me and said through clenched teeth, "You are fucking crazy." Just then, Alicia sauntered into the room. She looked from me to Sara, and started backing out of the room.

"Uh, sorry, bad time. I just wanted to talk to Sara."

"No, please, come in" Sara said cheerfully, and waves a hand dismissively in the air; I assumed it was meant for me. I took one last look at my wife, before I left the room to have a desperately needed smoke.

SARA'S POINT OF VIEW

I watched as Alicia placed an open chair beside my bed, and slide gracefully into it. I had only met her a few times, but it seemed every movement she made was graceful.

"What's up?" I asked cheerfully, even though I was anything but.

"Well, I kind of wanted to tell you something." She peered over her shoulder, I assumed to make sure no one else was around. "I'm pregnant" she said just above a whisper.

"That's great!"

"I'm scared."

"Why?"

"Well, I'm not sure. I just am. I guess having to go on tour with the guys while being pregnant doesn't help."

"You're going?"

"Yes, aren't you?"

"No. Gerard wants me to come, with the baby, but I think it's the stupidest idea."

"Why? It would be perfect. If you go, you're not alone. And the guys, they're great. They'll take care of you."

"But-"

"Plus, if you go, you can help me through this." She patted her stomach. "I have Mikey, sure, but it helps if you have someone who's already been through it all." She looked at my thoughtfully, and I could tell she had already thought it through. She smiled gently, and I smiled back. It's weird, but in that moment, I changed my mind.

"I guess so." She grinned from ear to ear just as I started having a contraction. At some point, she ran out for Gerard, and he came running in. And I don't remember much after that until I found myself pushing, with Gerard nervously telling me to breath, and holding my hand. A doctor sat at the end of my bed, her hands holding my legs apart.

"You need to push harder Sara" she said, and I tried. I pushed as hard as I could, letting out cries of pain. I pushed and pushed, and in between my groans of pain, I heard her say, "The baby is crowning. Harder, you're almost there." With as much power as I could muster, I pushed and the doctor cried "It's out." I fell back onto the bed, tears flowing from my eyes. It was finished, the baby was out, and everything was going to be fine.

I had been crying so hard that I didn't even notice that the room and grown silent. No one had said anything, and I heard no cries of my new born baby.

"What's wrong?" I asked, wiping my face. Gerard looked at me, tears falling down his cheeks, and he kissed me. I knew something was terribly wrong.

"Where's my baby?" I cried, pushing Gerard away.

"Honey," he said softly, brushing my wet hair off my cheeks and tucking it behind me ears. "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what? I want to see my baby!"

"Mrs. Way, you're baby, he-"

"We lost it" Gerard said before the doctor could.

"What? No, no, that's not possible. My baby was fine, it was all going to be fine! Let me see him!" I shot upwards in my bed and reached for the small bundle that the doctor was holding.

"Mrs. Way-"

"LET ME SEE HIM" I screamed, and tried to climb out my bed, but Gerard held me down.

"Sara, you can't" he said, through his tears. I fought to get past him, but he held me tightly, hugging me close to his body. "Calm down" he whispered in my ears, and eventually I stopped fighting and collapsed against him, sobbing uncontrollably. It was the single most horrible day of my life, and it was the beginning of misery, for me, and for Gerard.