Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > My Heart Can't Take This Hurt
Ryan's POV.
Everyone in the enormous kitchen was staring at me. I just stood there in the middle of the floor completely out of words. I didn't know what to say. My parents may or may not wake up, and I couldn't stay at Sophia's forever.
"Ryan?" Sophia's voice startled me, and I self-consciously turned my head to face her. The puzzled look on her face reached my eyes and I still had no idea what I should say.
"Ryan dear, who was it?" Sophia's mother asked.
"Uh, oh, th-the doctor," I stuttered and just stared blankly back at her.
"Sophia, could you go play with Claire for a moment?" Mrs. Carter suggested and looked at the confused face of her daughter.
"But mom..."
"Just go upstairs with Claire for a moment. I need to talk to Ryan for a moment," she said and Sophia exited the room with a sigh. Claire followed her.
"Now, sit down. What did the doctor say?" she said softly. I walked over to the table and sat down.
"He, he, he just said..." I couldn't say it.
"Ryan, it's alright." She said while her sharp blue eyes stared at me. I looked away.
"They're not even sure if they are going to wake up." I whispered.
"Oh, I'm really sorry honey. I'm sure they will be alright" she said and reached her hand over the table to mine and held it. "I'm so sorry, but you two can't stay here until they wake up. Monday morning we're going to Chicago for a wedding. We'll be gone for three days."
I just got the news that both of my parents were in a coma and now that we had nowhere to go.
"Isn't there anywhere else you can stay?"
"I guess I can ask my friends, but..." I hesitated and stared at the white table.
"But you're welcome to come again when we get back." she smiled.
"Thank you. I just need some time to think about this." I said and stormed out of the kitchen; I just couldn't deal with this right then, and needed some time on my own.
I ran up the staircase and then into the guestroom, it was empty so I guessed that Sophia and Claire were in Claire's room. I threw myself on the bed and dug my face into the pillow. After a moment, I couldn't stand the silence any longer and reached for my iPod.
Now come one
Come all
To this tragic affair
Wipe off that make up
What's in is despair
So throw on the black dress
Mix in with the lot
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not
If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see
You can find out first hand what it's like to be me
So gather 'round piggies and kiss this goodbye
I encourage your smiles
I expect you won't cry
While those words echoed in my ears I tried to block all thoughts about everything. I just couldn't take it, just couldn't deal with life. It wasn't until I heard the last lines of Sleep that I finally fell asleep, away from the world of worries.
_________________________________
I woke up to the sound of Sophia's soft voice. "Ryan?" I lazily opened my eyes to meet Sophia's worried face. "Ryan, wake up" She was sitting on my bed, the room was dark. How long had I been sleeping?
"What time is it?" I muttered and sat up still fully clothed.
"It's six o'clock." she said smiling. I rubbed my eyes and then looked blankly back at Sophia. "Ryan, I'm so sorry. About everything" she said sincerely. I stared at her, the empty feeling taking over me. I didn't want to be awake. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to forget about everything.
"Ryan, please say something, I feel so bad that you can't stay here. I know you have nowhere to go, but you really should call your friends and try to make up with them. They don't realize what you're going through. You need to talk to them." Sophia whispered and looked down on her hands. I knew she was right, but the last thing I wanted to do right now was to deal with the guys. I just couldn't.
"Please Ryan say something, I can't bear to see you like this," she said almost in tears.
"Sophia, don't-don't cry," I whispered and reached for her hand. She looked up at me, with her eyes filled with tears.
"I just can't imagine how you must be feeling right now, and I feel so bad because I can't do anything about it. And-and now were kicking you out" She said and the tears started to fall from her eyes.
"Soph, please, don't feel bad, I can't take it to see you cry." I whispered and pulled her closer to me and wrapped my arms around her. It was good to feel someone's arms around me. To have someone that really cared.
For a moment we just sat there in the dark room, crying in each others arms. After a few minutes I released my arms from around her and slowly moved away, looking deeply into her eyes. She was staring right back at me. I felt how my heart started to beat faster. She looked beautiful as ever, even though her eyes were puffy from all the crying. It just made them seem even bluer. For a moment I fought the urge to lean in and just kiss her. But I couldn't.
Only a few inches away I hesitated. Could I? Could I really just, kiss her? Like nothing was wrong, even though there was another boy that she had feelings for? I didn't have to play with that thought any longer because the door was shifted open. The both of us backed away from each other and looked at the person standing in the door.
Claire stood there with tears in her eyes. "Ryyyyan, Mrs. Carter told me that mom and dad are sleeping in the hospital and might not wake up." she stuttered between sobs and just stood there frozen.
I quickly ran to Claire and wrapped my hands around her. "It's going to be alright, Claire. It's going to be fine. Don't cry. Mom and dad will wake up soon."
Those words meant nothing to her, and she just kept on crying. Sophia followed me and sat down on her knees beside me.
"Claire, it's going to be just fine, come, you can probably go visit them. Don't cry." she said trying to soothe Claire. She stopped crying for a moment and looked confused at Sophia.
"R-r-really? I can see them?" she said and rubbed her eyes with one hand while holding Ryan's with the other.
"Yeah, come, we'll go and call the doctor, okay?" Sophia said and sent her a small smile.
"Oh, okay." Claire said and sniffled. Sophia sent me a comforting smile and then walked out the room with Claire.
And there I was, sitting on the floor in the dark with two more things on my conscience. That 'moment' with Sophia and the fact that I needed to make up with the guys.
Everyone in the enormous kitchen was staring at me. I just stood there in the middle of the floor completely out of words. I didn't know what to say. My parents may or may not wake up, and I couldn't stay at Sophia's forever.
"Ryan?" Sophia's voice startled me, and I self-consciously turned my head to face her. The puzzled look on her face reached my eyes and I still had no idea what I should say.
"Ryan dear, who was it?" Sophia's mother asked.
"Uh, oh, th-the doctor," I stuttered and just stared blankly back at her.
"Sophia, could you go play with Claire for a moment?" Mrs. Carter suggested and looked at the confused face of her daughter.
"But mom..."
"Just go upstairs with Claire for a moment. I need to talk to Ryan for a moment," she said and Sophia exited the room with a sigh. Claire followed her.
"Now, sit down. What did the doctor say?" she said softly. I walked over to the table and sat down.
"He, he, he just said..." I couldn't say it.
"Ryan, it's alright." She said while her sharp blue eyes stared at me. I looked away.
"They're not even sure if they are going to wake up." I whispered.
"Oh, I'm really sorry honey. I'm sure they will be alright" she said and reached her hand over the table to mine and held it. "I'm so sorry, but you two can't stay here until they wake up. Monday morning we're going to Chicago for a wedding. We'll be gone for three days."
I just got the news that both of my parents were in a coma and now that we had nowhere to go.
"Isn't there anywhere else you can stay?"
"I guess I can ask my friends, but..." I hesitated and stared at the white table.
"But you're welcome to come again when we get back." she smiled.
"Thank you. I just need some time to think about this." I said and stormed out of the kitchen; I just couldn't deal with this right then, and needed some time on my own.
I ran up the staircase and then into the guestroom, it was empty so I guessed that Sophia and Claire were in Claire's room. I threw myself on the bed and dug my face into the pillow. After a moment, I couldn't stand the silence any longer and reached for my iPod.
Now come one
Come all
To this tragic affair
Wipe off that make up
What's in is despair
So throw on the black dress
Mix in with the lot
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not
If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see
You can find out first hand what it's like to be me
So gather 'round piggies and kiss this goodbye
I encourage your smiles
I expect you won't cry
While those words echoed in my ears I tried to block all thoughts about everything. I just couldn't take it, just couldn't deal with life. It wasn't until I heard the last lines of Sleep that I finally fell asleep, away from the world of worries.
_________________________________
I woke up to the sound of Sophia's soft voice. "Ryan?" I lazily opened my eyes to meet Sophia's worried face. "Ryan, wake up" She was sitting on my bed, the room was dark. How long had I been sleeping?
"What time is it?" I muttered and sat up still fully clothed.
"It's six o'clock." she said smiling. I rubbed my eyes and then looked blankly back at Sophia. "Ryan, I'm so sorry. About everything" she said sincerely. I stared at her, the empty feeling taking over me. I didn't want to be awake. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to forget about everything.
"Ryan, please say something, I feel so bad that you can't stay here. I know you have nowhere to go, but you really should call your friends and try to make up with them. They don't realize what you're going through. You need to talk to them." Sophia whispered and looked down on her hands. I knew she was right, but the last thing I wanted to do right now was to deal with the guys. I just couldn't.
"Please Ryan say something, I can't bear to see you like this," she said almost in tears.
"Sophia, don't-don't cry," I whispered and reached for her hand. She looked up at me, with her eyes filled with tears.
"I just can't imagine how you must be feeling right now, and I feel so bad because I can't do anything about it. And-and now were kicking you out" She said and the tears started to fall from her eyes.
"Soph, please, don't feel bad, I can't take it to see you cry." I whispered and pulled her closer to me and wrapped my arms around her. It was good to feel someone's arms around me. To have someone that really cared.
For a moment we just sat there in the dark room, crying in each others arms. After a few minutes I released my arms from around her and slowly moved away, looking deeply into her eyes. She was staring right back at me. I felt how my heart started to beat faster. She looked beautiful as ever, even though her eyes were puffy from all the crying. It just made them seem even bluer. For a moment I fought the urge to lean in and just kiss her. But I couldn't.
Only a few inches away I hesitated. Could I? Could I really just, kiss her? Like nothing was wrong, even though there was another boy that she had feelings for? I didn't have to play with that thought any longer because the door was shifted open. The both of us backed away from each other and looked at the person standing in the door.
Claire stood there with tears in her eyes. "Ryyyyan, Mrs. Carter told me that mom and dad are sleeping in the hospital and might not wake up." she stuttered between sobs and just stood there frozen.
I quickly ran to Claire and wrapped my hands around her. "It's going to be alright, Claire. It's going to be fine. Don't cry. Mom and dad will wake up soon."
Those words meant nothing to her, and she just kept on crying. Sophia followed me and sat down on her knees beside me.
"Claire, it's going to be just fine, come, you can probably go visit them. Don't cry." she said trying to soothe Claire. She stopped crying for a moment and looked confused at Sophia.
"R-r-really? I can see them?" she said and rubbed her eyes with one hand while holding Ryan's with the other.
"Yeah, come, we'll go and call the doctor, okay?" Sophia said and sent her a small smile.
"Oh, okay." Claire said and sniffled. Sophia sent me a comforting smile and then walked out the room with Claire.
And there I was, sitting on the floor in the dark with two more things on my conscience. That 'moment' with Sophia and the fact that I needed to make up with the guys.
Sign up to rate and review this story