FicWad

The constant knocking on the door was making him grow more annoyed and impatient. He just wanted them to get the hint and leave. It was most likely Pete wondering why he never came over the other day,or answered any of his phone calls. Patrick just didn't want to deal with it. Leaving this house was just a recipe for disaster. All the possibilities of seeing her, or something reminding him of her. Then staying in his house was its own torture. Was this his life sentence for following his dreams and being in a band ? Did he have to lose everything else? One day he did want to get married and have kids, but the person he wanted to do that with was gone.

Grunting, Patrick got up out of the bed and made his was to the door. Maybe if he just told them he was fine they would finally leave him alone. Apparently, this person was persistent enough to keep knocking. He wanted to sleep. It wasn't like he was getting much of it at night, so he might as well spend most of his time in bed until he eventually closed his eyes and slept. There was nothing else better to do with his time and nothing sounded like fun.

"what do you want?" Patrick quickly swung the door open. He wasn't going to play nice. They wanted to annoy him then they deserve the attitude. But, the person on the other side of the door wasn't what he expected to see. His mood completely changed when he saw her standing there. After how he treated her, he didn't understand why she would ever bother to come near him let alone come to the house. "I..uh.. I... why are you here?" he stumbled over his words.

Michele frowned looking at him, he looked terrible. His clothes were disheveled and wrinkled, his skin seemed dull like it lost its natural radiance and he had almost started to acquire black circles under his eyes. "I felt terrible about ya know, what was said." she looked down. "And, I wanted to apologize. You were right, I didn't have any right taking the cat without asking you." Michele paused. The last thing she wanted was for them to get into it again. "um, can I come in?" asking timidly as she showed him the carrier in her hand.

"um, yeah. Come in" Patrick scratched his head as he moved aside to let her in. Closing the door he took a deep breath. He didn't want to snap at her, he didn't want to push her away anymore. Part of him was trying to wish for a miracle. One that would erase any mean thing he ever said or did, and have her just fall madly in love with him and back into his arms forever. He knew the possibility was slim to never happening but, doesn't mean he couldn't make that wish anyway.

"so yeah... I just came by to drop the cat off." Michele told him after their silence consumed the room it started to become deafening. It wasn't awkward, as it was just uncomfortable. Neither of them wanted to say anything that would cause for an explosion of words. Putting the carrier down on the table that sat near the entranceway of the condo. "I had no right taking him, he was your cat too"

Patrick took a step forward and looked at her for a moment before unlocking it and taking the cat out "hey you.." reaching in and grabbing the cat pulling him out and cradling him in his arm. "thanks but, you were right" he swallowed his pride as he told her. His mind had went over every word he ever told her, and even as he said them the other day Patrick knew she had to keep the cat. He couldn't even nurture his relationship, let alone a cat. Eventually he would be responsible for killing marzipan, just like he did Michele's heart. "I'm gone a lot with the band.." he was petting him "and he needs someone to take care of him.

Michele smiled a little, knowing he had thought about what she said. He would always fight or argue his opinion even if he was wrong, and then he would sit and think about it and make another decision. That was just Patrick's way of doing anything. It was one of the major reasons he and Pete could always get into it. Both were very hard headed, strong willed individuals, neither willing to compromise. "yes, I know. But that doesn't mean you can't see your cat. If you want, whenever you're home you can keep him. Kind of like joint custody." shrugging at the thought. It was weird, yet almost the best solution. "I think we could work out a custody agreement"

"Wow, thanks" he laughed off the absurdity of the idea. It would keep her in his life and that was fine for him. Patrick bit his bottom lip as he looked at her. He wanted to tell her she looked beautiful, that he missed her, that he loved her. The words just couldn't come out. "So, how have you been?" It almost pained him to say that. He didn't want to hear how happy she was without him.

"me?" surprised at how he made small talk. "I've been okay I guess, you know just busy with work. Thinking of going back and getting my masters." shrugging her shoulders and looking around. In just a few days he had managed to destroy the apartment. How one man could make such a large mess himself, was beyond comprehension. "How about you? How have you been?" Michele could pretty much tell based on how he looked. It was just the matter of asking the question that would create the least problems.

"um, you know. okay" he shrugged his shoulder not wanting to be obvious. Letting marzipan down, he stuffed his hands into his jean pockets. "Like, just staying home really. Wanting to just relax and like.. not do anything serious."

"I can tell" Michele chuckled a she moved further into the apartment. There was a few T-shirts just strewn over the couch as she started to fold them. "I hope you were okay, with me cleaning up and leaving you some food. I just.. I just wanted to make sure you were going to be fine, being home here.. by yourself."

Patrick watched her, and he knew she wasn't trying to mean. Everything told him she was just concerned about him but he couldn't help the anger in him that built up. He wanted to fight those words as much as he could. To fight the reminders that she was gone. "I'm fine." he said almost monotonous as he stepped forward and grabbed the shirt off of her hands "Leave it alone. It's not your problem anymore, okay? You don't get to care about me and what I do. So stop trying to"

Her face quickly changed from confused at his outburst to upset. Why was he so angry at her? She knew that leaving hurt him, that he was upset but Patrick was not looking at the whole situation. He did not stop and think about her. "Do you think because I moved out I stopped caring about you?" Michele shook her head. "Do you really think that this is easy on/me/?"

"It was your choice" he shot back at her, as he threw the shirt back on the couch.

"OH!" she rose her hands in sarcasm at his attempt to blame all this torment on her. "Okay...So you don't think I am crying myself to sleep every night? That I don't look at my phone and think of a million reasons to call you?" her eyes almost instantly started to get glassy. She could feel her heart start to race, as the emotions started to go all over the place. This was the one thing she wanted to avoid. "Just to hear you voice! Just to hear you say my name, because please, God forbid that still puts the same chills down my spine that it did three years ago!" the tears had now started to flow freely down down her face. She sucked in her bottom lip in an attempt to stop. She just couldn't, it was all still too much It was just an overflow in her body. A cleansing of emotions. "You really think this is easy on me? That I know you are home, here, just minutes away and I cant hold you, or kiss you. I can't look into your eyes and feel your body against mine. I can't wake up to you in the morning, or make love to you a million and one ways to SHOW YOU! My hearts hurts, all the time..This is hard for me. I hate this. I hate it soo much."

"Then why do it Michele? Why? Why torture both of us like this?" He demanded answered.

Michele inhaled deeply, she was almost huffing because she wanted to stop crying. She didn't want him to see her weakness and pain. "because...it wont change" shaking her head again. "You're just going to leave again, and I'll be here. Alone."

"We can make it work, we can try again. I promise!. I'll call more, you can come out more. I swear. We can do it Michele, we can!" he walked up to her as he held her arms. Patrick was desperate to make her listen to him. He needed her back. He wanted her back.

Closing her eyes, she wanted to fight the chills that made her freeze as he grabbed her. His hands almost burned into her skin. To have him touch her, to have him this close to her again. It was so hard. Her cheeks wet from all the tears that were freely flowing "we can't, we can't" she fought him "I just..I..I still love you" her bottom lip trembled. Her eyes still tightly shut. She couldn't look into his eyes. The moment she saw them, Michele knew she would lose any self control she had. Her body, and mind, heart would all fall victim to her love.

Looking at how vulnerable and scared the woman he ached to be with was just killed his heart more. He had been so angry and stuck in his own pain. This was the love of his life and as much as he wanted to make everything all better, he couldn't. Upon impulse and desire Patrick pressed his lips into hers passionately. His mouth craving to show her what his heart couldn't. "I love you too" he mumbled. Their noses pressed against each other, his hands holding her face. Patrick was afraid to let go, she might disappear forever. He fought back his own emotions. He hurt her when they were together, and he hurt her when they were apart. What pained him more was realizing he didn't know what to do to make her happy.









Hiya you amazing readers of ficwad! I managed an update as soon as I could. I really do hope you enjoy it. This is another chapter that makes me really nervous. Maybe it is just all chapters with their interaction. Anyway, I hope it is acceptable with the story. Where I am going next is kind of well, I just don't know what i am doing next with this story. So, if you have any ideas please feel free to tell me. I also do appreciate all reviews and opinions. If you hate it, that is your right. Just please tell me why, so i can adapt my writing. I think that may be it for my ramble. Thank you for reading, and thank you for reviewing. It truly means a lot ot mee! =)