Categories > Cartoons > Delilah and Julius > The Last Night
Author's note: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZmtSq1jzPy4
*************
You come to me with your scars on your wrist
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this
“I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine,”
But I know it's a lie
*************
Understanding hit Julius like a hammer. The bruises, the scars, the lies … Delilah was going through the same thing that her mother had. He’d been so focused on pushing himself away from her that he hadn’t noticed the obvious signs. She needed him and he’d been running away.
Julius, you sad, pathetic soul, a voice mocked in his head. Look at all you’ve done to her. If she kills herself, it’s all your fault. You killed her by letting her go, you fool.
But behind the cruel, cutting voice was another; softer, gentler. Julius… It’s not too late. Go to her.
And he did. Without second bidding, he jumped to his feet, tossing the journal to the floor, and raced out the door. He ran with speed he didn’t know he had, faster than he had ever run before. He passed Al in the hallway, but ignored his question. Only one thing mattered now.
*************
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
*************
Not even bothering to knock, he burst through Delilah’s door. His heart pounded harder as he heard the tub running in the bathroom. He ran to the door, and found it locked – but it didn’t matter. Shoving hard with his shoulder, the barrier of wood flew away from him. What he saw broke his heart.
Delilah was sitting on the floor beside the tub. A bloodied razor lay by her side. Her arm was bleeding, turning the water of the tub crimson as she held it over the side. She was only in underwear and a white tank top, stained scarlet. She looked up as he came in; her eyes haunted him. They were red from crying, and hollow. Her face almost looked like a skeleton’s, it was so pale.
Tears coming to his eyes, he went to her. She opened her mouth to speak, but he pressed a finger gently to her lips. Bending down, he scooped her up in his arms and hugged her close to him. She felt so frail, like she could break with the slightest application of pressure. He sat down on the edge of her bed, cradling her to his chest.
*************
Your parents say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you
They don't know you at all
I'm so sick of when they say
“It's just a phase, you'll be okay, you're fine,”
But I know it's a lie
*************
“God, Delilah,” he whispered into her hair.
She cringed, waiting. Now they would come: the harsh words, the feelings of guilt, maybe even a slap or two. That was what happened when people got angry with her now, wasn’t it? And how could Julius not be mad at her? Squeezing her eyes shut, she held her breath. Whatever came, she would be prepared for it. No more crying. No more crying.
Julius took a deep breath and continued. “I am so, so sorry.”
Her eyes popped open. She let out her breath in surprise. What? He was … /sorry/? Sorry for what? Julius hadn’t been the one to punch her. He hadn’t loaded the gun and put it in her hands. That had been her father. Why was he apologizing? Why was he sorry?
Delilah pushed away from his chest and looked into his eyes, expecting to see something that would make sense of his words. She wanted to see sarcasm, anger, loathing, anything other than sympathy! And yet … all she could see was empathy, kindness and anguish. He was sorry. He was sorry, and he had done nothing wrong.
*************
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
The last night away from me
*************
“How?” Delilah managed to gasp after minutes of confused silence. “/Why/?”
Julius simply looked at her, the question in his eyes.
“How can you be sorry?”
He looked away. “Because it’s my fault.”
Delilah nearly laughed. “/Your/ fault? Oh, of course. My father shouted, screamed, yelled and roared at me. He hit me and hurt me until I didn’t think I could feel any more pain. He did all those things, and yet this mess is still all your fault. Yes, that makes sense now.”
Julius smirked. “You know what I mean. I was an idiot. A jerk. I was jealous and I drove a wedge between us because of that. If I had been there for you … maybe all of this – or at least some of it – could have been prevented.”
“But you--”
“No. I wasn’t there for you then, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be here for you now. I’ll help you. I won’t leave.”
*************
The night is so long when everything's wrong
If you give me your hand
I will help you hold on
Tonight, tonight
*************
Delilah shook her head. “You don’t make sense, Julius. You carry the blame on your shoulders. I should have made time for us, but I didn’t. I was too excited and happy to see beyond my father, to see the monster he truly was. I thought I’d done everything wrong, and that it was all my fault. I thought the world didn’t want me, my own father didn’t want me, so what was the point in hanging around any longer?”
“We’ll fix it, Delilah,” Julius promised. “I swear we will. We’ll tell Al, we’ll call the police … Hell, we’ll call Animal Control! But I won’t let you say goodbye.”
For the first time in what felt like days, Delilah smiled. “Animal Control. Good idea. I’m hungry. Let’s get a bite to eat.”
*************
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
The last night away from me
*************
She hopped down from his lap and headed to the door. Julius stopped her just before they left the room. “One more thing, Delilah?”
“Yeah?”
“Forgive me?”
Delilah grinned, recalling a conversation similar to this not so long ago. Grabbing his hand, she tugged him out the door. “Always.”
*************
I won't let you say goodbye
And I'll be your reason why
The last night away from me
Away from me
*************
Fini
*************
You come to me with your scars on your wrist
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this
“I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine,”
But I know it's a lie
*************
Understanding hit Julius like a hammer. The bruises, the scars, the lies … Delilah was going through the same thing that her mother had. He’d been so focused on pushing himself away from her that he hadn’t noticed the obvious signs. She needed him and he’d been running away.
Julius, you sad, pathetic soul, a voice mocked in his head. Look at all you’ve done to her. If she kills herself, it’s all your fault. You killed her by letting her go, you fool.
But behind the cruel, cutting voice was another; softer, gentler. Julius… It’s not too late. Go to her.
And he did. Without second bidding, he jumped to his feet, tossing the journal to the floor, and raced out the door. He ran with speed he didn’t know he had, faster than he had ever run before. He passed Al in the hallway, but ignored his question. Only one thing mattered now.
*************
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
*************
Not even bothering to knock, he burst through Delilah’s door. His heart pounded harder as he heard the tub running in the bathroom. He ran to the door, and found it locked – but it didn’t matter. Shoving hard with his shoulder, the barrier of wood flew away from him. What he saw broke his heart.
Delilah was sitting on the floor beside the tub. A bloodied razor lay by her side. Her arm was bleeding, turning the water of the tub crimson as she held it over the side. She was only in underwear and a white tank top, stained scarlet. She looked up as he came in; her eyes haunted him. They were red from crying, and hollow. Her face almost looked like a skeleton’s, it was so pale.
Tears coming to his eyes, he went to her. She opened her mouth to speak, but he pressed a finger gently to her lips. Bending down, he scooped her up in his arms and hugged her close to him. She felt so frail, like she could break with the slightest application of pressure. He sat down on the edge of her bed, cradling her to his chest.
*************
Your parents say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you
They don't know you at all
I'm so sick of when they say
“It's just a phase, you'll be okay, you're fine,”
But I know it's a lie
*************
“God, Delilah,” he whispered into her hair.
She cringed, waiting. Now they would come: the harsh words, the feelings of guilt, maybe even a slap or two. That was what happened when people got angry with her now, wasn’t it? And how could Julius not be mad at her? Squeezing her eyes shut, she held her breath. Whatever came, she would be prepared for it. No more crying. No more crying.
Julius took a deep breath and continued. “I am so, so sorry.”
Her eyes popped open. She let out her breath in surprise. What? He was … /sorry/? Sorry for what? Julius hadn’t been the one to punch her. He hadn’t loaded the gun and put it in her hands. That had been her father. Why was he apologizing? Why was he sorry?
Delilah pushed away from his chest and looked into his eyes, expecting to see something that would make sense of his words. She wanted to see sarcasm, anger, loathing, anything other than sympathy! And yet … all she could see was empathy, kindness and anguish. He was sorry. He was sorry, and he had done nothing wrong.
*************
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
The last night away from me
*************
“How?” Delilah managed to gasp after minutes of confused silence. “/Why/?”
Julius simply looked at her, the question in his eyes.
“How can you be sorry?”
He looked away. “Because it’s my fault.”
Delilah nearly laughed. “/Your/ fault? Oh, of course. My father shouted, screamed, yelled and roared at me. He hit me and hurt me until I didn’t think I could feel any more pain. He did all those things, and yet this mess is still all your fault. Yes, that makes sense now.”
Julius smirked. “You know what I mean. I was an idiot. A jerk. I was jealous and I drove a wedge between us because of that. If I had been there for you … maybe all of this – or at least some of it – could have been prevented.”
“But you--”
“No. I wasn’t there for you then, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be here for you now. I’ll help you. I won’t leave.”
*************
The night is so long when everything's wrong
If you give me your hand
I will help you hold on
Tonight, tonight
*************
Delilah shook her head. “You don’t make sense, Julius. You carry the blame on your shoulders. I should have made time for us, but I didn’t. I was too excited and happy to see beyond my father, to see the monster he truly was. I thought I’d done everything wrong, and that it was all my fault. I thought the world didn’t want me, my own father didn’t want me, so what was the point in hanging around any longer?”
“We’ll fix it, Delilah,” Julius promised. “I swear we will. We’ll tell Al, we’ll call the police … Hell, we’ll call Animal Control! But I won’t let you say goodbye.”
For the first time in what felt like days, Delilah smiled. “Animal Control. Good idea. I’m hungry. Let’s get a bite to eat.”
*************
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
The last night away from me
*************
She hopped down from his lap and headed to the door. Julius stopped her just before they left the room. “One more thing, Delilah?”
“Yeah?”
“Forgive me?”
Delilah grinned, recalling a conversation similar to this not so long ago. Grabbing his hand, she tugged him out the door. “Always.”
*************
I won't let you say goodbye
And I'll be your reason why
The last night away from me
Away from me
*************
Fini
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