FicWad

Gerard and Monica walked down the back staircase after leaving Kelly. When they arrived in the kitchen Monica saw him glance at the clock.
"It's not that late yet. Go ahead and call."
He looked over at her. "What?"
"Go ahead and call Liv's cell. Tell Elle goodbye."
"Think I should?" He asked. The thought had been in his mind. He was going to miss his little girl while he was gone.
Monica smiled and handed him her phone. The numbers programmed in." She crossed to the sink to wash up the few remaining dishes.
He took the phone and scrolled down to find the number. Frank was standing at the door whining to be let out. Gerard walked over pushed open the door and he shot out. The night air felt good so he continued on to the deck. Liv answered on the third ring.
"Hello Liv." He said quietly.
"Gee." She was surprised to hear his voice.
"Uh, I was wondering if Elle is still awake. I'm leaving in the morning and wanted to tell her goodbye."
Liv looked over at her sleeping daughter. "Actually she is asleep. I'm sorry."
He felt disappointed. 'Oh"
"I wish you'd called earlier. I'm sure she would have loved to talk to you."
He pulled out one of the patio chairs and sat down. "Yeah, well it's been a rough day."
Liv heard something in his voice, "What's wrong?"
He took out his cigarettes and lit one, "Kell and her boyfriend were attacked by a dog this morning on their way to school. We spent a lot of time at the hospital."
"Are they alright?" Gerard was surprised by the genuine concern her heard in her voice. The Liv he knew from the past never seemed concerned about anyone.
"Kell got over seventy stitches. The dog got her neck, shoulder and arm. Luke fought the dog and pulled it off her. His hands pretty fucked up."
"I'm sorry." She paused, "Tell Kelly I'm really sorry."
Once again he was surprised. "I didn't realize you knew Kelly that well."
Liv sighed, "I'm really not a cold hearted bitch, Gee. Kelly has been nice to me. She paused again, "Just like her mother."
He heard Monica moving around in the kitchen. She was softly singing as she washed the dishes, "Monica is fucking special."
She knew that but still it hurt to hear the words from his lips."Yeah, she is."
They were both silent a moment. Finally Gerard spoke the words he had tried to keep inside for so long. "Are you ever gonna tell me why you left like you did?"
His question was met with silence.
"Liv?"
"I'm still here." She hadn't been expecting the question. It broke her heart. "Does it matter now?"
He took a deep drag off the cigarette, "Yeah, it still matters to me."
"Why?" She shot back, "What difference does it make now?"
That was a question he couldn't answer. "It just does." He finally said.
"Just let it go, Gee. Think of me as the worst fucking mistake you ever made." She forced herself not to cry.
"I can't." He said honestly. "I won't ever be able to think that."
Liv lowered her head, "Please, you should think it."
Gerard shook his head sadly, "I can't. If I'd never been with you I wouldn't have Elle." He said softly.
The tears flowed down her cheeks, "Goodbye Gee." she whispered then disconnected.

"Did you talk to Elle?" Monica asked as he walked back in the kitchen. Frank happily trotted in under his feet.
"No, she was already asleep."
Monica nodded as she dried off her hands.
"I told Liv about Kelly and Luke."
She looked up, "Oh."
"She wanted me to tell Kell she's really sorry about what happened."
While he had been surprised by Liv's show of concern, Monica wasn't. "Kelly has talked with Liv several times." She looked into his eyes. "What else did she say?"
He walked over to lean on the counter. "Nothing, really."
Monica didn't believe him. Something had been said between him that was now going through his head. She knew in her heart what it was. "So did you ask her?'
His head shot up. "What?"
Monica stood taller, "Did you ask her the question that's always on your mind."
"I don't always have a question on my mind." he hedged.
"You do where she's concerned." She took a deep breath, "Did you ask her why she left you?"
Instead of answering he moved across the room to her. "I don't want to do this. I'm not gonna leave on this tour with a bunch of fucking shit between us." He tired to take he in his arms but she moved away.
"Gerard I didn't mean to cause any trouble between us. I don't want anything to come between us. But I'm not stupid. I know that the question still haunts you. It has since the day you woke up and she was gone. I'm fucking tired of it haunting you. I just want you to find your answer so you can move on and not to chained to the past."
Once again she had surprised him. "The answer won't change anything between us. It won't change my love for you."
"That's what I'm counting on." Monica said, "that's what I believe but more importantly it's what I want you to believe."
He took a step nearer, "I just said it wouldn't change anything."
Monica stood her ground, "I know what you said. Now I want you to believe the words."
The kitchen was silent as the stood with their eyes locked. Finally he spoke. "From the bottom of my heart I promise you this. Knowing why she left me will never change the way I feel about you. I love you. You are my now and forever."
Monica paused only a moment then moved into his arms. "Believe." She whispered.

Monica checked on Kelly then took a quick shower. She was surprised to find Gee had also taken a shower in the guest bathroom and was already in bed.
"Hey" he smiled as she walked over to the bed.
"Hey, yourself." She quickly braided her long hair since it was still wet and she didn't want to take the time to dry in now. When she finished she crawled into bed. She expected Gerard to turn off the bedside lamp but he didn't. He sat up looking down at her.
"What?" She giggled.
"I want to leave the light on. I want to see you when I make love to you."
"Gee, you've seen me plenty of times when we make love."
He nodded, "Yeah, but tonight is different. I'm leaving and I want to memorize your face, you body. I don't want to forget a fucking thing about the woman who's changed my life."
His words touched her heart. "I have brought lots of drama into your life."
"No, you've brought lots of love into my life. I was so empty, so lost before I met you."
Monica smiled, "And when you met me you really didn't like me."
He thought back to that first meeting and laughed, "Man, you really got me good. There I was saying shit about some woman my mom had brought home."
She laughed too, "You should have seen your face when Brian called and you realized that woman was driving the car. God, I thought you were such a jackass. You didn't even want to get in the front seat with me after we dropped off Ray."
"I was pissed." He remembered. "But honestly I was also intrigued. You were such a fucking mystery. Every time I was around you back then I got so confused."
"You didn't want to like me."
"No, I didn't want to love you and I knew it was happening anyway. The first time you said you could never love again it broke my heart."
Monica touched his cheek, "But I was so wrong and you knew it."
"I just knew I had to try everything I could to make you love me the way I love you."
"Gee?"
"Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for showing me I could love again."
He scooted down and took her into his arms, "Thank you for putting up with all my shit. Sometimes I think to myself that I'll never be good enough for you."
She shook her head, "Don't say that. I hate we people act like I'm some sort of a saint. I'm just a normal woman trying her best to do what's right."
He heard anger in her voice, "You underestimate yourself. You are kind and caring. You are the best person I've ever known."
Monica closed her eyes, "I'm not always that nice, that good."
"Honey, you are when it counts." His lips met hers. He lifted his head, "I really want us to go to Vegas in July. It will be our secret. I want to go to the same wedding chapel that Mikey and Alicia went to." He smiled, "Maybe Elvis and I can sing together."
"That sounds so wonderful." She said "So prefect."
"Then I want us to stay in the same hotel. I want to sketch another picture of you like I did last time." He kissed her again before adding, "but his time I will be sketching a picture of my wife. My legal wife" He added.
Her emotions broke, "Fuck, I don't want you to go."
He was surprised by her tears "It will be okay."
She whispered, "I'm afraid."
His arms tightened around her, "Honey, I don't understand. Afraid of what?'
She couldn't answer because she truly didn't know. The plans they were making, she wanted to believe they would happen. But something she couldn't explain, a feeling deep in her soul wouldn't let her believe.
"Monica?"
She hid the feelings deep down inside her "I'm sorry. I just don't want you to go."
He looked into her eyes, "Are you sure it's not something else?"
"No" she lied, "I'm just gonna miss you."