FicWad

Escape The Fate had already said their goodbyes and left, but I was staying until I got to say goodbye to Gerard. Somehow, we managed to somewhat forget what happened, and he became my best friend again, much to Ronnie’s dismay. But in a way, I knew that Gerard would always be there. It was just the kind of relationship we had, and I couldn’t imagine him not being there.

My Chem finished their set around 5.30, and my heart was racing as Gerard came down the stairs at the back of the stage. He grinned at me, and by passed everyone who wanted to compliment him on their final show. As soon as he reached me, and had me in his arms, I started crying. He held me closely, his hand running through my hair trying to soothe me.

“I can’t do it,” I said through my sobs. “I can’t keep living this life with him. He’s not the same, and it scares me.”

“I wish I could take you away,” he whispered. “But it’s not that simple. If he’s doing coke again, then it’s going to be awhile before it gets better.”

“Don’t say that,” I replied, grabbing onto his collar.

“I’ll be in LA in a couple of weeks, but if anything happens, just call me. I’ll come get you, okay?”

“Promise?”

“You know I’d do anything for you Sara.” He kissed the top of my head and let me go. He wiped my tears away and smiled so gently, it gave me small butterflies in my stomach, but I tried to make them go away. I didn’t want to get involved with him again, even if it looked like Ronnie and I were over.

“Gerard!” someone yelled, and he regretfully said, “I’ve got to go. But please, keep in touch.”

“Course.” I smiled at him one last time before he headed off in the other direction, and Ray approached me.

“Are you leaving now?” he asked. I nodded and he gave me a hug. “Oh, before I forget. I really wanted to go to your wedding. I was planning on going actually, but Gerard said that it would be better if he just went alone.”

I felt as if the wind had just been knocked out of me, and barely managed to say, “What?”

“Oh fuck,” he said quietly. “I didn’t know he didn’t tell you. Just pretend I didn’t say anything.”

“No, no it’s too late.”

“Maybe you should just ask him yourself. Have a good trip home.” He hurriedly went off in the other direction before I could ask him another question, and I fumed as I remembered the conversation I had had with Gerard not too long ago.

“So, why didn’t you come to my wedding?” I asked carefully, not wanting to touch on anything too emotional.

He sighed and looked away from me. “I don’t think you know how much it hurt to loose you for the second time in my life. I just didn’t want to be there to see you marry the guy you left me for. But believe me, I really wanted to be there.”

“You should have been there.”

“Why does it matter so much anyway?”

“Even though we weren’t married anymore, I still cared about you. That’s never going to change Gee. I wanted you to be there for something as important as that.”

“I’m sorry, I know it’s just an apology, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart.”

I raced off in the direction that Gerard has disappeared moments before Ray and I talked, and I found him alone, smoking a cigarette. I took it out of his hand and threw it to the ground.

“What the hell?” he laughed, thinking I was joking around, but it was far from that.

“Why didn’t you tell me the truth about my wedding Gerard?” His grin turned to a straight line, and he lowered his eyes. “No, never mind that. Just tell me what really happened.”

“You just looked so happy,” he replied. “I was sitting in the back row, and when you came through the doors in your dress, you just, God you looked beautiful, so perfect, like a China Doll. I didn’t want to see you do it. It took all my will power to keep me from standing up and stopping you from going any further. But I saw the way you looked at him. That’s the way I used to look at you, I still do, and I couldn’t sit there and watch you give yourself to him and make the same promises we made to each other. I just couldn’t. So when you made it to the altar, I got up and left.”

“You should have told me,” I whispered, and fell into his arms, my lips colliding with his, releasing the tension that seemed to have built up all summer. When we pulled apart briefly, he pulled us to a secluded corner and pushed me up against the wall. There were no words as he pressed our bodies together. His hands worked at his pants as we continued kissing, and when he had undone them, he slid down my under wear from under my skirt. He pushed himself inside me a moment later, his breathing ragged beside my ear, and he whispered, "It will always be you and me." And of course, I knew it was true. He was my first true love, he took my virginity; in short, my heart belonged to him.

"I love you," I whispered back, before biting his neck. He drove himself into me as far as he could, making me moan so loud, it sounded almost like a yell. I brought my leg up and he grabbed it, making it easier for him to thrust. At that moment, nothing else in the world mattered, it was just me and him, but unbeknownst to us, we were making love for an audience of one.