FicWad

"Fuck you," she cried and ran around the trailer, nearly knocking me over. It had been the first time that I had been that close to her in almost three weeks. When ever I tried to find her, she was always busy working, or I couldn't find her at all. But that wasn't only it, I felt as if I was being watched whenever I got near her, but at that moment, it was just me and her, no one was watching.

"Hi," I said, sounding surprised to see her, although I had been listening to them argue for the past 15 minutes. Mostly about how he failed to tell her about me being at Warped Tour, but she also mentioned something about cocaine.

"You know that was the past!" he had retorted to the comment and hit what I assumed was the side of the bus, moments before she yelled at him to leave her alone and came around the trailer.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Uhm, I guess I wanted to talk." I had been prepared for her rejecting the suggestion right away, but she shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Anywhere is better then here."

I followed behind her, and as soon as we were out in the open, we were getting stares. Everyone on tour now seemed to know that Sara and I had once been married, I had to be subjected to that topic of conversation many a times already. But every where I went, if people didn't realize I was around, I would hear them talking about it as if it were today's news, and surprisingly, it seemed that everyone made me out to be the bad person.

There was a food tent set up, and another one just behind it with tables and chairs, which is where Sara headed, and I noticed what she was wearing; an extremely short black dress, with white polka dots, and a little bow on the chest. The neck was scooped, and her breasts were being pushed up to an extreme measure. I averted my eyes as she sat down, and I took a seat across from her, but the ring on her finger caught my gaze. She had a simple wedding band, but it was the engagement ring that I was staring at; it could have been the size of marble the diamond was so huge.

She didn't notice me looking, because neither one of us looked each other in the eye, but for me, it was the fear that in a matter of seconds, I would ask her to come back to me.

"Is everything fine?" I asked, and instead of answering the question, she whispered, "It's happening again. It's all falling apart."

"What is?"

"My marriage." She took a deep breath and her shoulders shuddered. I recognized that as the sign that she was going to start crying soon.

"Sara, it won't fall apart unless you let it. Our marriage, you gave up to easily on. Maybe there was nothing we could do about it, but it's in the past, there's no point in dwelling on it. But you can fix this one. If you love him, then you can work through anything."

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked, leaning forward and placing her hands on the table. I reached over and placed my hand over hers.

"I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy." I squeezed her hand, and she squeezed back, just as her phone buzzed. She smiled awkwardly as she reached in between her breasts and pulled out a phone.

"I've gotta run and set up the tent now, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh." I stood up. "I know we can't pretend like we don't have a history, but maybe there's a way we could be friends without having to discuss it?"

She drew herself to her feet. "Of course."
x---x---x---x----xx

I had my head in my hands, and was looking down at the lines infront of me. My head was screaming at me, and I knew I should listen, but Jared was telling me to do it. He placed in my palm what I hadn't held for almost a year, and it seemed to be beckoning me. I started thinking about Sara, and about all the arguing we had been doing since the tour started, and I thought maybe it would make me feel better. Before I could stop myself, I leaned forward, put it to my nostril, plugged the other side of my nose, and inhaled sharply. Immediately, I felt the familiar sensation of it going up my nose, and I did the next line without hesitation. Just as I was going for the third one, someone knocked on the trailed door and both Jared and I jumped.

He hastily put it back into the small bag and I answered the door.

"Why are you avoiding me?" asked Sara, who was wearing a dress a little too short to wear for anyone but me.

"Why are you wearing that?" I asked, instead of answering.

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's a bit short, isn't it?"

"You're the one who bought it for me," she said quietly. I started rubbing my nose and furrowed my eyebrows. I was already starting to feel different, a second later I sneezed three times in a row. My head started spinning and I had to lean against the trailer for upport.

"Are you okay?" Sara asked, looking worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Well then, answer me. You can't keep avoiding me."

"You're still angry at me! I don't want to be around you if you're going to keep arguing with me all the time," I yelled at her.

"Well can't you understand why I'm so angry?" she yelled back. "You lied to me! And you won't even talk about it."

"I didn't lie! We've been through this. I just thought that maybe if you knew he was coming back, then maybe you would-"

"Would what? Wanna fuck him?"

"Well he was your first love!"

"What does that have to do with any of it? That's in the fucking past! You're my husband, I don't want to be with anyone but you. But this isn't going to work if you lie to me!" and 10 minutes later, we were still going at it.


“I know he still wants you! I don’t want you anywhere near him, do you hear me?”

“You are not going to tell me what I can and cannot do!” she said in a low voice.

“I just don’t want anything to happen. I don’t trust you around him.”

“I can’t believe you!” she shouted as Elias Reidy from the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus walked by the bus looking worried. “How can you not trust me? I gave up my life to be with you. I’ve had to start new with everything, and this is how you’re going to treat me? Because if that’s how it’s going to be, we’re not going to last much longer.”

“Hey!” I yelled defensively. “It was your choice to leave him!”

"I left him for you,” she said, getting quieter, “because I love you and I thought you and I could work.” She sighed slowly and shrugged her shoulders. “We can't keep arguing like this," she said. "It's been three weeks. You don't want to resolve it. I don't want to keep doing this." We stood in silence for a moment, and the door opened.

"Here, take it," said Jared, tossing the small bag of cocaine at me. Sara's eyes went wide, and Jared stopped dead.

"I thought you didn't do that anymore," she whispered. Jared grabbed it back from me and replied quickly, "No, it's mine." He walked away, leaving us in another silence, before she turned to leave. I grabbed her arm, and she turned on me.

"That shit will ruin your life Ronnie!"

"I said it's not mine!"

"Well then why did he give it to you?"

"I don't know."

"Ronnie, you can't get back into cocaine. You said so yourself that it almost ruined your life before, don't let it do it again. We still have to make a life together, kids, a family. Don't you want all that?"

"Of course I do." Since the day we got married, I couldn't wait to start a family with her. But I knew I was in a hole of lies at the moment.

"Then don't get back into cocaine."

"You know that was the past!" I yelled and hit the side of the trailer.

"Yeah, you've been itching your nose a lot, and the past has a way of repeating itself."

"So does that mean that you're going to cheat on the person you're in a relationship with, with Gerard," I whispered.

"Fuck you," she almost yelled, and ran off. I knew I should go after her, but I could barely hold myself up. Instead, I climbed back into the trailer and passed out on the couch.