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"So why didn't you call me?" Gerard's voice held an anger that surprised Monica. She had just been fighting to get Elle to sleep. She didn't want to go to bed alone but it was too early for Kelly to turn in. Finally Kelly had said she would do her homework in her room so Elle would get into bed. She walked downstairs to the living room and sat on the sofa.
"Gee, what are you talking about? Was I supposed to call you?"
He took off his jean jacket and threw it towards the chair. He missed and it sank to the floor. "Yeah. You're supposed to call me if something happens at home. Didn't you think it was important to tell me Kara dumped a tray of food on a guy who was trashing Kell?"
Her eyes grew large, "What are you talking about?"
By the sound of her voice he realized she truly had no idea about the incident. "You need to talk to the girls. One of Mikes friends said something fucking vile about Kell and Kara dumped her tray of food on the guy."
'What?" Monica asked. "When did this happen?"
Gerard sat down on the bed. "Today. Kara called Bob and told him. Bob says Kara saw that Luke was gonna try to hurt the guy and she didn't want him to mess up his hand."
"But I don't understand. As far as I know Kara didn't get into trouble today."
Gerard laughed, "She made it look like an accident. Like she tripped on something."
"Shit, why didn't they tell me?" Monica asked.
“I don’t know, maybe they figured they had handled in on their own and didn’t want to get you involved,.”
“And maybe I’m just not very close to either one of my daughters anymore.” Monica said feeling very hurt.
Gerard could hear that hurt in her voice. “Hey, don’t think like that. They love you, you know that but their getting older. It’s natural that there’s some distance between you and them.”
Monica shook her head, “I just don’t know anymore. Kara and I hardly talk. She’s in this house but she’s like a ghost. Kelly is usually on the phone with Luke so I don’t talk to her either.”
“You’ve got another little one now.” He reminded her gently. “She’s gonna depend on you a lot.”
She knew he meant to comfort her with his words but they had the opposite effect. Monica knew in her heart that having Elle with her made her so happy. It made her feel needed again. But fear that Liv would take Elle away from her made it hard to accept the happiness.
“Monica?” Gerard wondered what she was thinking.
“Sorry. I drifted off.”
“So how is Elle doing?” He asked softly.
“Well she didn’t want to go to bed. She’s staying in Kelly’s room and it was hard to get her to bed. Kelly finally said she’d do her homework in her room if Elle promised to get into bed and go to sleep.”
“So what are you doing now?” He closed his eyes an moment once again trying to picture where she was in the house. It helped him feel more connected to home.
Monica smiled, “Why do you keep asking?”
He answered honestly, “I’m homesick. I try to see you in my mind in whatever room you say. It makes it easier to imagine I’m there with you.”
Tears sprung to her eyes, “Oh”
He heard the emotion in her voice. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Gee. I’m just an emotion mess today. What you said is so sweet.” She felt stupid. “I’m sitting in our living room in the dark. The only light is coming from the entryway. It’s warm and cozy and quiet. I know Kara has turned in for the night and Kelly is in her room working on a book report. Elle is in bed hopefully sleeping.” She wiped away another tear, “Oh and Frank is asleep at the foot of Kelly’s bed.”
“God, I wish I was there sitting there with you in the dark. I’d put my arm around you and we would just share the quiet.”
Monica’s tears wouldn’t stop, “I wish that too. I miss you so much.”
“Honey, it’s all gonna be okay, I promise. I’m sorry I haven’t been sympathetic to all the stress you’ve been under. I get so caught up in my own head I don’t see what’s happening to people around me. Look, as for Kara and Kell. They love you, never forget that. I’m gonna keep trying my hardest to win Kara’s trust back. I’m gonna prove to her that I would never hurt you. Kelly is just being a teen. She’s in love with Luke, you gotta realize that. But don’t forget both of them still need you.” He lit a cigarette then continued, “And Elle.” He voice grew softer, “She needs you. Losing her mom is gonna be rough for her.” He knew how Monica was thinking, “Even if Liv comes back tomorrow, Elle still needs you. She loves you, Mommyca.” He said with a slight laugh, “We will offer her our love and our home as often as we can if Liv takes her back” He heard her sharp intake of breath at his words, “You are right, We won’t try to get full custody of her. Taking her from Liv would be wrong. I know Liv loves her. Whatever is going on with her right now must be rough.” He took a drag of his cigarette, “Monica if I ask you something will you tell me the truth?”
“What?”
“Will you?” he knew she had heard the question.
“Yeah, I won’t lie to you.” She wondered what he was going to ask.
“When Liv dropped off Elle. Did you ask her to change her mind?”
Monica was shocked. She hadn’t expected him to think that would happen. “Yeah, I did. I offered to help her if she’d stay. I told her I had some money of my own to give her.” She held her breath hoping he wasn’t angry. His next words shocked her,
“That’s my Monica. I knew you would do something like that.” He smiled to himself, “That’s why I love you so much.”
“I thought you would be mad at me.” She admitted.
“No, not at all. Just remember you’ve done all you can for Liv. Let it go. You can’t make her accept your help.”
“I know.” She said with a sigh, “She was just so sad. It tore her up to leave Elle.”
Gerard took a moment to think back, “She has always been like that. She would never let me help her either.”
“But why?” Monica asked, “Why?”

Monica had just fallen asleep when she heard Elle crying her name. She quickly got out of bed and went to Kelly’s room. She crossed to the bed to see Elle rubbing her eyes, “Mes wants mommy.”
Monica lifted her out of bed and smiled to a sleepy Kelly, “I’ll take her with me.”
Kelly nodded and drifted back to sleep.
Back in her bedroom Monica settled Elle in bed with her. “It’s okay, Honey. Don’t cry.” She murmured.
Elle was only partly awake. She curled up to Monica and put her little arms around her neck. Monica inhaled her sweet scent and smiled. She remembered how she had wanted to do with for her girls when they were little. Many times they had suffered from nightmares and needed comforting but Kyle had forbidden her to bring the children to their bed. She pushed away those thoughts. Elle hiccupped then fell back asleep. Closing her eyes Monica fell into a dream. She held Elle tightly in her arms but they were in a room Monica had never seen. Elle clung to her afraid. Monica too was afraid. In the dream it seemed they were all alone. When morning came the dream faded but the feeling remained.