FicWad

“Mom’s been gone a long time.” Gerard could hear the worry in Kelly’s voice.
“I’m sure she’s fine. Probably her cell battery is dead. Just tell her I called and I’ll call back later, okay?” In truth he was worried about Monica. He’d been trying to call her for several hours. The band had been busy with appearances and interviews all day and every time he’d try to call she hadn’t answered but he didn’t want to upset Kelly.
“I will.” She promised.
“Hey, I gotta go. Mikey is glaring at me. It’s late here and we still haven’t eaten.”
Kelly laughed, “Tell him I said hello. I’ll give Mom the message as soon as she gets home.”
“Thanks Kell.” He disconnected and looked over at his brother.
“Still can’t get a hold of Monica?” Mikey asked.
Gerard shook his head. “No, I’ll try again as soon as we get back. Alicia hasn’t heard from her either?”
“No, I just talked to her. She said she’d try to call too.”
Gerard sighed as he slipped on his shoes. “Let’s go eat.”
They walked out together each lost in thought.

Monica was seated at Donna’s table with a cup of coffee. She took a sip and tried to steady her nerves. She needed to get so many details taken care of quickly. She wanted to get back to Liv as soon as possible.
“Honey, what is it?” Donna asked. She had known something was terribly wrong as soon as she had answered the door. Monica had looked so upset she had ushered her in and given her a hug. Monica had told her she needed to speak to her about something very important.
“Donna, can Kelly and Elle come and stay with you for a while?”
Donna was surprised, “Of course, but why?”
“I found Liv. She hasn’t left town.”
“What?’
There was no easy way to break the news. “Liv lied when she said she was leaving town.” She began.
“Lied? What is going on?” Donna was beginning to get a very bad feeling.
“Donna, Liv is dying.” Monica said breaking into tears. “All this time when I’ve been thinking she’s on drugs or doing shit to try to get Gee back…”
“Oh my God.” Donna said sitting her coffee cup down quickly then grabbing Monica’s hand. “Tell me what’s happening.”
“I just knew in my heart she wouldn’t leave Elle unless she had to. I called Bert and found out where they had been living. I went there and found her. She looked so terrible when she answered the door. I thought she was doing drugs again. I even said it.” Monica lowered her head, “God, how could I not have seen it? She’s so thin, her eyes so hollow.”
Donna tried to comfort her, “Monica, we all thought the same thing. What’s wrong with her?”
Monica thought back to the conversation she had with Liv before she left the apartment. She had made Liv swear not to leave. She had promised to be back for her as soon as possible. “Cancer.” Monica whispered. “She’s known since December.”
Donna was finding it hard to take in the news. “Why didn’t she tell anyone?”
“Because she didn’t want anyone’s pity. The doctors told her at the beginning there was no hope. When she came to the Christmas Gala she knew. She was scared and wanted Gerard. She tried to get him the only way she knew how.”
Donna’s mind went back to that night. “None of us knew.” She whispered.
Monica nodded, “Then she realized he was in love with me. She threatened to go to the press out of desperation. She believed Gee knew about Elle and didn’t want her.”
“Oh my God” Donna said shaking her head. “That wasn’t true.”
“But she didn’t know that. She believed Ray had told him about the baby.”
Donna lifted the coffee cup to her mouth. Her hands were shaking. “But then she just disappeared.”
“She told me that she decided she couldn’t leave Elle with a man who didn’t want his child. Then she found out more about me from Bert.”
Donna looked puzzled then it suddenly became clear, “That is why she made you Elle’s guardian. She wants you to raise her.”
Monica nodded, “She said she wanted to hate me but she knew she needed me.” Tears once again coursed down her cheeks, “She needs me to take care of her baby.”
Donna closed her eyes. “Oh God. I don’t know what to say. I’ve carried such hatred in my heart for her.”
“Donna, she was planning on going into a hospice center to die.” She took a deep breath. “I can’t let her die among strangers. I just can’t.”
“I don’t understand.” She tried to grasp what Monica was telling her.
“I want Elle and Kelly to stay with you because I’m taking Liv home with me. I want to take care of her.”
Donna was shocked, “Take care of her?”
“Yes, I dealt with hospice when my mother was dying. I know they will come to the house and help me. They are wonderful people who help a patient in their last days.”
Donna was still trying to digest all the information, “So you want to take Liv home with you. You want to care for her until she dies.”
Monica nodded, “I have to do this. I’m not going to let her die surrounded by strangers.”
Donna sat back in her chair and thought for several minutes. “What about Gerard? Have you told him?”
Monica shook her head, “I promised Liv no one would tell him. She doesn’t want him to know.”
“But he has a right to know.” Donna said
“Donna it’s her decision. I’m not going to lie. I plan on trying to make her change her mind. I think it’s important that he gets to say goodbye to her.” Her voice trembled, “But it’s her decision.”
Donna thought a moment then said, “Of course the girls can stay here. I assume you’ll tell Kelly.”
“Yes, of course. Thank you Donna for this.”
Donna stood and moved to take Monica in her arms. “You are a beautiful person Monica. I’m not sure I could do what you’re doing.”
Monica closed her eyes, “I have to do this. No, I want to do this.”

“Why didn’t you go with them?’ Kara asked Bob after he had told her that Gerard had just left to go get something to eat with Mikey.
“Wanted to talk to you more.” He answered as he sat down on his bed.
Kara smiled, “You could have just called me when you got back.”
“Nope. Talking to you is more important. So Gee’s pretty upset he can’t get a hold of Monica.”
“I don’t know where she took off to. She acted like it was important when she left. I’ve been wondering myself what she’s doing.”
“You two getting along any better?” he asked softly. He knew the problems between Kara and her mom were causing his wife a lot of stress.
Kara sat back on her bed. “Not really.”
“Kara, talk to her. Don’t let things fester between you and her. Tell her how you feel.”
“About the baby idea? Why? It won’t matter to her.”
“You don’t know that until you talk to her. Maybe she really wants a baby.”
Kara closed her eyes, “I know. I’ve got to stop trying to live her life. She needs to make her own choices.” She paused, “I just worry about her so much.” She added in a whisper. “I don’t want her to ever be hurt again. Daddy hurt her so much.”
Bob heard the emotion in her voice, “Honey, you can’t keep thinking about the past. Gerard loves your mom very much. I know he does.”
Kara really wanted to believe it would be okay. “Yeah, I know he does. It’s just that I know how much she loves him. He could hurt her so badly.”
“He won’t.” Bob said, “Think of all the two of them have been through.”
“No shit.” Kara said frowning. “More than most people that’s for sure.”
Bob closed his eyes, “You in the pink nightmare?’
Kara laughed, “Yeah, laying on the bed.”
“Oh man.” Bob groaned. “Even the pink nightmare can’t ruin that sight for me. Fuck, I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” Kara whispered. “More than you’ll ever know.”

Kara had just finished talking to Bob when Monica arrived home. Both Kelly and Kara knew something was terribly wrong as soon as she walked into the house.
“Kara could you watch Elle for a few minutes? I need to talk to Kelly.”
The girls looked at each other. “Mom, you okay?” Kara asked. She was surprised when Monica walked up and hugged her tightly, “I’ll talk to you next” she whispered in Kara’s ear. Kara nodded, took Elle’s hand and walked out of the room.
Monica motioned for Kelly to take a seat at the kitchen table. “I need to tell you something about Liv.” Monica began.
Kelly’s eyes widened, “Oh my God.” She whispered. Suddenly as if she could read her mom’s thoughts it all became clear. “She left Elle because she had to, didn’t she?”
Monica nodded, “Yeah, she has to.”
Kelly now understood the terrible sadness, the crushing weight of despair she felt about Liv. “She’s dying isn’t she?”