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Carrie looked over at Monica, “Call me anytime, okay?” She could see the stress on Monica’s face. “The dosage she’s receiving now will make the times she’s actually awake and coherent much shorter.”
Monica opened the front door and nodded, “I understand. Thank you for all you have done for us. I don’t understand how you have the strength to do this for strangers.”
Carrie reached out to touch Monica’s arm, “I became a Hospice volunteer not long after I lost my husband to cancer. The volunteers who helped me through Doug’s last months inspired me so much it just seemed to me the right thing to do. I wanted to help others. At first it was hard but I would remember back to how lost I was trying to deal with his illness. I was pretty much alone. Hospice was a God’s send and after he was gone I knew that I wanted to help others who were going through similar situations. No one should ever have to be alone when facing death, not the patient or their loved ones.”
Monica impulsively moved to hug her. “Thank you.” She whispered.
Once Carrie had driven away Monica closed the door then leaned her hair against the smooth wood. She didn’t hear Bert moving down the stairs.
“She’s given up now, you know.” He said sadly. He reached the bottom stair and stopped, “She was holding on until she talked to Gee and now she’s just fucking given up. She’s ready to die.”
Standing straighter Monica turned to him, “I know.”
He shook his head slowly, “I don’t want her to be in pain but I don’t fucking want her to go.” His voice broke.
Monica crossed over to him and put her arms around his waist to hug him. “But she has to go.”
Bert hugged her tightly to him. After a moment he spoke, “What happened when she said goodbye to Gee? Why was she sobbing like that?”
Monica closed her eyes wishing the words Liv has spoken to her had remained forever silent. Liv’s secret now lay heavy on her soul. “She was just upset because it was goodbye.” Monica lied. “The final goodbye.”

“You should check on Monica. Gee left this morning and I’m sure she’s tore up about everything that’s going on.” Jamia said looking up from her bowl of soup.
“I was thinking about going over there later just to see how she’s doing.” Frank said with a nod, “Fuck, I bet Gee is gonna be exhausted. He was here for such a short time.”
“Maybe he’ll sleep on the plane.” Jamia said trying to think good thoughts. “I just hope his visit with Liv went okay. I mean I want to know what happened but I don’t think it’s right to call Monica for information. Shit, this is all so messed up.”
Frank took a drink of his soda, “Yeah, it is. I’m planning on called Gee when he gets to Berlin. Fuck, I hope he’s okay. I know how brutal it had to be for him to tell Liv goodbye.”
Jamia set down her spoon, “Yeah but I also know how brutal this has to be for Monica. It’s gotta be so hard for her to watch the man she loves show so much emotion for another woman. I worry about Monica. She tries so hard to always do the right thing no matter how much it hurts her.”
“I just hope Gee doesn’t forget how fucking lucky he really is to have her.” Frank said softly. “I hope he doesn’t fuck up his future because of his past.”

Kara walked in to see her mom sitting at the kitchen table staring down at a blank piece of paper. She could tell by the look on her mom’s face something was troubling her deeply. “Mom, what’s up?”
Monica looked up surprised. She’s been so lost in thought she hadn’t heard Kara come in. “Just thinking about everything.” She answered honestly.
“How’s Liv?” Kara took a seat at the table.
“Carrie was here a while ago and upped her meds. She’s sleeping and probably will sleep a lot from now on.”
“Shit.” Kara muttered. “So how did the visit with Gerard go?”
Monica picked up the pen and tapped it absentmindedly. “They talked for a long time. She told him all about her past and why she had done the things she’d done. I think he has closure now.”
“But does Liv?”
The question surprised Monica. She knew in her heart that Liv didn’t have complete closure. She knew that Liv still carried so much guilt in her heart. However this wasn’t something Monica could acknowledge. “I hope so.” She said softly.
Kara looked at her strangely, “You’re not sure?”
This conversation was crossing over into dangerous territory. “I really haven’t talked much to her since he left.” Monica explained. “She was in a lot of pain this morning.”
“So how was Gerard really?” Kara asked looking into her mom’s eyes, “How’s he dealing with this?”
Monica sighed, “He’s doing okay.”
Kara tried to phrase her next question carefully, “Does he understand how hard all of this has been for you?”
Reaching her hand out she touched Kara’s arm, “I’m okay.”
“That’s not what I asked.” Kara said with a frown, “Does he understand how hard all of this has been for you?” She repeated.
“Kara, he does understand. He thanked me for what I’ve done. He told me that nothing will ever change the fact that he loves me.”
Kara nodded, “Good. I talked to Bob last night and he said the guys are really worried about how Gerard is gonna be when he gets back to the tour. Ray is especially worried.”
“He’s stronger than people realize. He’ll be okay.” Monica answered hoping that her words were the truth.
Suddenly it dawned on Monica that Kara should be in school. “So why aren’t you in class?”
Kara laughed, “Took you this long to realize I wasn’t in school, didn’t it?”
“I’ve got a lot on my mind.” Monica admitted. “So?”
Kara shrugged, “Just figured you might be upset about Gerard being here….” She looked away, “Thought you might need me.”
Monica was deeply touched by her daughters concern. She stood and hugged her, “I always need you, Honey.” She whispered.
“Yeah, well.” Kara was uncomfortable with her mom’s show of emotion. “Want me to make some lunch? I can make some tuna sandwiches.”
“Sounds good.” Monica said releasing Kara from the hug, “We really need to make sure Bert eats. He’s been skipping meals.”
Kara nodded, “He’s gonna lose it when she dies.”
This was something Monica understood all too well, “Yeah, he is.” She said sadly. “He really is.”

Several hours into the flight the stewardess decided to remove Gerard’s untouched drink from his tray. His head was titled back and his eyes were closed. She would bring him a fresh drink later if he requested one. Her hand had almost reached the glass when his voice startled her.
“Leave it.” He said without opening his eyes.
“Sorry.” She said quickly. “I thought you were sleeping and I was just going to bring you a fresh drink when you woke.”
Gerard neither opened his eyes nor spoke again.
The stewardess moved away quickly.
The drink was taunting him. It was whispering in his mind that it would help him with the pain that was tearing at his heart. The alcohol promised to take away the thoughts of his brother’s betrayal. It promised to make him forget about the woman who he had loved so deeply he would have died for her. The alcohol promised to erase the little girl from his mind. It promised to make him forget the feeling of love he’d had for the little girl who called him Dadgee. The little girl who could be his brother’s child.
The stewardess who had spoken to Gerard turned to her co-worker while they were preparing the serving carts. “He wouldn’t let me take the drink. It’s got to be watered down by now.”
“Too bad he’s drinking again.” The other stewardess said filling the long row of cups with ice.
“What?”
“Don’t you know who that is? That’s Gerard Way from the band My Chemical Romance.”
Peering out the slit in the curtain the original stewardess said, “Oh, I’ve heard of them.”
Her co-worker nodded. “He’s a recovering alcoholic. Too bad he’s drinking again. My sister’s a fan of the band. She’s gonna be so upset when I tell her.”