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“I should stay.” Monica said glancing over at Carrie.
“There is nothing you can do.” Carrie whispered. “She’s just going to sleep.”
Monica looked over at Bert who was sitting by the bed watching Liv. He looked so sad she wanted to cry.
“The medicine is keeping her knocked out so she doesn’t have to suffer with the pain.”
Bert looked up at Carrie, “Will it be like this until the end?”
Carrie walked over and placed her hand on his shoulder, “I’m not sure. The next time she wakes up we’ll see how bad the pain is for her.”
He nodded, “Yeah, we don’t want her to be in pain. I just want to talk to her, you know?”
“Yeah, I understand.” Carrie said softly.
Bert looked at Monica, “Go see the girls, spend the day with them.”
“You sure?” Monica hated leaving him.
“I’ll stay for a few hours.” Carrie said understanding Monica’s feelings.
“Thanks” Monica smiled. She walked over and leaned down to give Bert a hug. He smiled but it was sad and hollow.
She was on the way to the car when her cell rang. “Hello”
“Monica, how’s it going?”
“Hey, Frank” she said as she opened the car door. “How’s Jamia?”
“She’s good but we’re wondering when you’re gonna visit us.”
Monica sighed, “Liv is getting worse so it’s kinda hard for me to get away. I feel guilty cause I’m going to the movies with the girls but Carrie said she’d stay with Bert for a few hours. He’s really taking this hard.”
“Yeah, I imagine he is.”
There was silence and Monica knew he wanted to ask something. “What do you want to know, Frank?”
He laughed, “I’m not very good at being sneaky am I?’
“Nope, not really. I’m guessing you want to know about Gee.”
“Yeah, I just talked to Ray. He’s worried about Gee.”
Monica put the keys in the ignition but didn’t start the car. “Me too but I can’t tell you anything. He’s not talking to me.”
“Not talking to you? What do you mean?”
“He’s only called me once since he went back. It was a short call. I wish I knew what was going on in his head. I wish he’d tell me.”
Frank heard the pain in her voice, “Shit, I’m sorry.”
“I’m just gonna wait until he’s ready to talk. Don’t know what else to do. I know how hard this is for him. I understand.”
Frank wondered if Gerard understood what a remarkable woman Monica was. “Hey, maybe I’ll stop by in a bit and say hello to Bert.”
Monica was surprised, “That would be nice. He’s pretty much been holed up here since he arrived. That’s really thoughtful of you, Frank.”
“Hey, tell the girls I said hello.”
“I will. Tell Jamia I’ll try to give her a call tonight. I miss talking to her.”
“Will do.” He said goodbye then turned to Jamia.
“He’s only called her once since he went back.”
“Shit” Jamia said, “That’s not right.”
Frank stood, “No, it’s not. And from what Ray said he’s being a dick to all of them. Man, come on. I understand what he’s going through but hurting people who love him ain’t right.”

Ray glanced across the room at Gerard who was sitting in a chair, dark glasses in place, frowning, The interview was set to start in a few minutes and he was worried. Gerard’s bad attitude was beginning to show. All day he had stayed in his room and had refused to talk to anyone. Now his whole posture was screaming ‘leave me alone’.
“I talked to Kara. She’s on her way to meet Monica at Donna’s. They are gonna go to the movies with Kelly and Elle.”
“How’s Monica?” Ray asked Bob as he settled in the chair next to him.
“Upset. Kara said he called Monica last night but I guess it was a really short call. She said Monica wouldn’t say much about it only that Gee was hurting.”
“Shit, I wish we didn’t have this interview.” Ray said. “He’s in no mood to answer questions.”
“I just don’t get it.” Bob said lowering his voice, “I mean I get he’s tore up about Liv but why is he being such a shit to everyone? Especially Monica?”
Ray shook his head, “No idea.”
The interviewer walked in and the band members all took their places at a long table. Ray tried to calm his nerves but he had a bad feeling about this. A very bad feeling.
The first half of the interview went well. Ray and Bob both glanced at each other with a look of relief. Mikey was a bit more quiet than usual but no one noticed. He was watching his brother out of the corner of his eye. Gerard had him really worried.
Suddenly the interview asked Gerard a question that made everyone snap to attention.
“So I was surfing the Net this morning, just checking out the different fan sights and I saw an entry that caught my eye.” The woman smiled, “Seems one young fan has a sister who is a flight attendant. She said that her sister was surprised when you ordered an alcoholic drink on a recent flight. I thought I’d read you were a recovering alcoholic?”
The band members sat in stunned silence. “Interview over.” Ray said gathering his wits first and getting to his feet. The others stood including Gerard. They quickly left the room and headed towards their van.
“Fuck, I can’t believe she asked that.” Bob said settling in his seat.
“Yeah, were the fuck did that come from?” Ray added.
Gerard sat back in his seat, “Came from my flight back here.”
The silence in the van was heavy. “You drank on the way back here?” Mikey asked in a shocked voice.
Gerard looked over at him, “I ordered a drink on the plane.”
“But you didn’t drink it, right?” Mikey held his breath waiting for his brother to answer.
“What difference does it make?” Gerard asked closing his eyes.
Ray exploded, “What the fuck Gerard? How can you say that?”
Gerard didn’t answer.
“Gerard?” Mikey reached over to touch his brother’s arm. The fear in Mikey’s voice was apparent.
Gerard pulled his arm away as if he’d been burnt. “Leave me the fuck alone.”
Mikey flinched. “You didn’t drink it, did you?” Mikey asked again.
Once more Gerard offered no answer.

“Do I tell her?” Alicia asked. “Really, Mikey. Do I tell Monica what happened?”
Mikey sat down outside the venue and lowered his head. He’d called Alicia as soon as they’d arrived and he could get away. The hustle and bustle of the backstage area had forced him outside.
“I don’t know. Shit, I just don’t know. I’m watching my brother fall apart and I don’t know what to do.”
“Is it really that bad?” Alicia asked worried that Mikey was taking all of this too deeply.
“Yeah, it is. Fuck, he won’t talk to me. Obviously he’s not talking to Monica. What do I do?”
“Do you think he’s drinking again?”
Mikey remembered Gerard going out last night. He hadn’t returned for hours. “I don’t know. The first morning he got back I had to wake him and it was hard. He looked out of it. I just thought it was because he was so tired. Now I’m not sure.”
“Well someone has to talk to him. He’s your brother and you’re closer to him than the other guys. Talk to him.”
That was what was really bothering him. He could sense the anger in Gerard that seemed to be directed at him. Anger that seemed like pure hatred. Mikey couldn’t shake the feeling it had something to do with Liv. He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts.
“Mikey?”
“Sorry, what?” He sat up straighter and tried to give her his full attention.
“Do I tell Monica? She is his fiancée. Shit, she loves him so much I can’t believe he would jeopardize their lives together like this.”
“We don’t know he’s drinking.” Mikey said softly praying that his brother hadn’t began drinking again.
“Maybe he isn’t but he’s still hurting Monica. Fuck, she’s done so much for him. I just don’t understand.”
“I don’t either.” Mikey said sadly, “I don’t either.”

“Mommyca” Elle launched herself into Monica’s arms as soon as she entered the house. “Me’s missed youse.”
“I’ve missed you too, Baby.” Monica said hugging her tightly. For several minutes she stood holding the little girl tightly.
“Elle can you go out back and get Grandpa Don?” Donna asked.
Monica reluctantly set Elle down and watcher her scamper off towards the back door. She saw that Donna was watching her closely.
“How did Gerard’s visit go?” Donna asked.
“He and Liv talked for a long time.” Monica answered hoping she would drop the subject. The chance of her dissolving into tears was growing by the minute.
Donna knew immediately something was very wrong but instead of asking more questions she simply enveloped Monica in a hug. The sudden show of affection was too much. Monica began sobbing. Luckily Kelly walked into the room and Donna told her to keep Elle outside for a bit so she wouldn’t see Monica crying. Kelly gave her a worried look but nodded that she understood. Donna led Monica to the sofa and they sat together. “Tell me what’s wrong.” She said softly.
“He’s so upset about Liv he’s stopped talking to me. I just don’t understand.”
“He’s not talking to you?” Donna was shocked. She had been sure her son would understand how much Monica had been going through.
“Since he left he’s only called once and that was only for a few minutes.”
“Mom”
Both women were surprised to see Kara who had just arrived standing in the doorway.
“What honey?” Monica said wondering why Kara looked so strange.
Kara looked over at Donna, “Uh, I just talked to Bob. They are at the venue but no one can find Gerard.”
“What?” Monica was on her feet. “Can’t find him?”
Kara shook her head, “They’re really worried.” After giving it a lot of thought Kara had decided to tell her Mom what Bob had told her. She believed her Mom had a right to know. “ Something else happened that might have caused him to take off.”
“What?” Monica stood and walked over to her daughter. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“They did an interview before they went to the venue. The interviewer asked Gerard if he was drinking again.” Donna and Monica stared at her in stunned silence. It was Donna who spoke first.
“Why the hell would they ask him that?”
“It was on one of the fan sites that he was drinking on the plane when he flew to Berlin.” Kara said softly. “I’m sorry.”
Monica sst back down on the sofa, “Is it true?” She whispered.
“It can’t be. He wouldn’t do that.” Donna said defending her son. “He just wouldn’t.”
Monica lowered her head into her hands while Kara stood by feeling helpless and angry. She’d known he’d hurt her mom and now it was truly happening.


AUTHORS NOTE : Hey guys. Well I’m off the see MCR again. Two more shows and about 1200 miles. Next update will be on Wednesday. Sorry to leave the story like this but I’m sure you all understand. I gotta see the band!!! Take care; I’ll miss you all. – SanDee XOXO