FicWad

“Put you brother on the phone right now.” Donna’s tone made it apparent she meant business. She had waited until Monica and the girls had left for the movies before she made the call. It had taken a lot of convincing to get Monica to go. She had wanted to return home but Donna and Kara had made her realize that spending time with her children would help keep her mind off Gerard. At the moment there was nothing she could do however Donna felt there was something she could do. That meant getting her son on the phone. When she’d called his phone he hadn’t answered. At first she had worried that the band members hadn’t found him but when Mikey had answered he’d told her that Gerard had returned. She wasn’t going to be told Gerard wouldn’t speak to her.
“Uh, he’s busy right now. He said he’d call you back.”
“Where was he?” Donna asked.
Once again Mikey hesitated, “I’m not sure.”
“Is he drinking again, Mikey?”
Mikey was shocked by the question. How his Mom had heard the rumor? “Mom, why would you ask that?”
“You don’t think that those of us back home don’t find out about what’s going on there, do you?”
Mikey glanced over at Bob who met his look then turned quickly away. He lowered the phone. “You told Kara didn’t you?”
Bob nodded, “ I thought Monica should know.”
“Fuck” Mikey said a bit louder than he’d intended.
“Michael.” Donna’s voice came through the phone loud and clear.
“Hold on Mom.” He said while glaring at Bob.
Bob moved to the other side of the room. Mikey sighed and stood to walk back over to where Gerard was sitting with his head leaned back and his eyes closed. “She wants to talk to you now.” Mikey told him holding out the phone.
Gerard opened his eyes and sat up. He yanked the phone from his brother’s hand. “Yeah, Ma.”
Donna heard the anger in his voice. “Go somewhere where we can talk without you being overheard.”
He paused a moment but then did as she requested. Once is was in the back hallway he spoke, “Okay, what?”
“What?” Donna repeated trying to control her anger. “Don’t give me, what. I want to know what’s going on.”
“Nothing is going on.” Gerard reached for his pack of cigarettes.
“Gerard, are you drinking again?” she asked dreading his answer.
“No, ma. I’m not.”
She released the breath she’d been holding. “Thank God. Now tell me what’s going on? Did seeing Liv upset you that badly?”
Anger coursed through him. “No, not at all.” He lied. “It was kinda pointless though. We shouldn’t have canceled a date.”
Now Donna was convinced something was wrong. “Don’t lie. I know how much you loved Liv. Seeing her had to be hard on you.”
He lit the cigarette and tried to control the anger, “Look I just don’t wanna talk about this. We’ve got a concert in about an hour and I need to get ready.”
“Why are you hurting Monica?” She asked softly.
His anger faded, “I’m not trying to.” He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. “I just can’t talk to her right now.”
“But why?” Donna wanted to understand, “She wants to be there for you. She’s trying so hard to understand but she’s hurting. She’s dealing with the stress of taking care of a dying woman. The woman who you loved so much. Think about what she’s going through.”
It was at that moment Gerard realized why he was avoiding talking to Monica. He didn’t want to hear about Liv. Every time he thought about her it was as if his heart was freshly pierced by pain. “I’ll call her later after the show.’ He said knowing it was something he needed to do.
Donna’s voice softened, “Honey, I know this is hard for you but don’t close yourself off from the people who love you. Monica, your dad and I, your..”
“Talk to you later, Ma.” He disconnected quickly before she could say his brother’s name. The brother who’d betrayed him.
Gerard walked back into the room where the guys were and tossed Mikey's phone back to him, "Thanks so much for fucking tellin' Mom."
Mikey stated to defend himself but Bob stepped in, "He didn't. I'm the one who told."
Gerard glared at him, "Told? Who the fuck did you tell?"
Bob met his angry stare, "Kara. I told her what happened at the interview."
"Fuckin' hell and of course she must have run to Monica and told her. I suppose Monica ran to my mom."
"I don't know for sure if she told you mom but she had a right to find out before she sees it on the Net." Ray said joining the discussion.
Now Gerard turned to him, "Think so? Thanks so much for you opinion on the matter but I don't remember asking you." He started to walk away but Ray's voice stopped him.
"Gerard why are you doing this? What the fuck happened when you went home?"
Gerard stopped and turned back around, "It's none of your fucking business. None of you." He added looking at his friends. "I just want to get this fucking tour over, understand. Then I'll stay the fuck away from all of you so you won't have to deal with me."
"No one said we don't want to deal with you. We want to help you." Mikey said softly.
"I don't need your help." Gerard spat at him, "I don't need one fucking thing from you, brother." He left the room before anyone else could speak.
"What the fuck is going on with him?" Ray said shaking his head.
Mikey had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that wouldn't go away. He remembered the night Liv had called him and asked him to meet her. She'd never shown up and now more then ever he wondered why she had wanted to meet up. He moved over to one of the chairs and sat down heavily. With all his heart he wanted to help his brother but deep down he knew that wasn't possible.

"Me's misses Dadgee." Elle said as she and Kelly walked through Hot Topic. They were killing some time shopping while waiting for the movie box office to open. Monica was sitting out in the mall while the girls were looking around. Kelly wondered why Elle had suddenly thought of him but then she noticed the newest MCR book on display.
"I miss him too." Kelly told her with a smile. She had a thought, "Wanna call him? I don't think the group will be on stage yet."
Elle looked confused but the idea of talking to Gerard made her smile. Kelly took out her phone and called.
Gerard took out his phone ready to turn it off when he happened to glace at the incoming call. He waited until the call went to voice mail then turned it off. Suddenly he regretted not answering. He had promised Kell she could call him anytime. Turning the phone back on he returned the call.
"Hi Dad. Did I call at a bad time?"
The happiness in her voice made him hate his earlier actions even more. "No, I've got a few minutes before we go on. What's up?"
"Just wanted to tell you I miss you."
"Mes too." Elle said tugging on Kelly’s shirt.
"Okay, hold on." Kelly said rolling her eyes. "Dad, Elle missed you too. She wants to talk to you."
"Oh, hey, I'm being called by the guys. Sorry. I gotta go.” he said quickly.
Kelly was surprised, "Oh, that's okay. I understand. Talk to you later."
"Yeah, later." he disconnected and pocketed his phone. A feeling of anger and sadness hit him full force. He hated himself for what he'd just done. He'd lied to Kell but the thought of talking to Elle had just been too much for him to take. He quickly walked out the back doors of the venue and found a quiet place to sit. Leaning back he closed his eyes and tired to block out the pain. Once more he thought how much a drink would help ease the pain. Just one drink the voice said. Just one.

Elle took Kelly’s hand and lead her to the display of Skelanimal plush toys. She pointed out the ones she liked not noticing that Kelly wasn’t paying attention. Kelly was lost in thought.
“Hey, it’s about time to go.” Kara said walking up to them. She’s been off shopping by herself and had several bags in her hands.
“Watch Elle for a minute.” Kelly said to her urgently.
“Why?” Kara could hear by her sister’s tone something was wrong.
“I’ve got to talk to Mom.” Was the only explanation Kelly offered before turning and leaving the store. Monica was sitting on one of the benches not far from the entrance.
“Mom, I just talked to Dad. I’m scared.”
Monica looked up at her and felt a chill travel down her spine, “Why? What did he say?”
Kelly sat down beside her, “He didn’t say anything. It was a feeling I got. He’s in so much pain. He’s confused.” She closed her eyes and tried to put words to the feeling. “He feels lost.”
Monica didn’t know what to say.
“I don’t understand. I know he’s upset about Liv but this is something else.”
“Kelly I don’t know. I think seeing Liv and remembering their past has caused whatever is going on.”
“No, I don’t think so.”
Listening to Kelly tell her how upset Gerard was made her feel that her decision not to tell Gerard about Liv and Mikey was the right one. If he was like this now that secret would devastate him. She looked up to see Kara and Elle leaving the store and walking towards them. She started to stand when Kelly leaned over and whispered.
“He wants to forget everything. He wants a drink.”
Her words shocked Monica and she sank back down on the bench. “Kelly, no.” She had been trying so hard to convince herself that it had just been a horrible rumor.
Kelly shook her head slowly. “I’m so sorry, Mama.”
“What’s up now?” Kara asked.
Monica regained her wits, “Nothing, lets go buy our tickets.” She stood and began walking towards the theatres. Kara released Elle and she ran up to grab Monica’s hand.
“What the hell is going on?” Kara asked.
Kelly stood and they slowly followed Monica and Elle. “It’s Dad. We’re just worried about him.”
“Oh” Kara said. “You mean about the drinking?”
Kelly shot her a surprised look, “What are you talking about?”
Kara told her about the interview and what had supposedly happened on the plane.