FicWad

“Are you going to call him?” Kara asked setting down her cup of coffee and coming right to the point. “She’s not going to make it much longer.”
Monica looked up from her plate of untouched scrambled eggs. It was Sunday morning and she hadn’t spoken to Gerard since hanging up on him Thursday night. Kara was right about Liv. The end was near. In her heart she wondered if she should call him. Would he want to hear?
“Well?” Kara asked.
“I don’t know.” Monica said without looking up.
“Holy crap” Kara pushed her plate away. “Want me to call him?”
Monica doubted he’d answer and told her so.
“If Kelly called him he’d answer.” Kara said with just a hint of jealousy in her voice, “He likes her.”
“He loves her.” Monica corrected automatically. “He loves you too.”
“Yeah, right.” Kara was trying to contain her anger but it was impossible. No one had gotten any sleep last night. Liv had cried out in pain most of the night. “I’m sick of his shit. We all are going through hell but you don’t see any of us hiding from the world and acting like assholes.”
“Kara” Monica said in anger, “Don’t call him that.”
“He is acting like an ass and you know it. Why hasn’t he called you?”
“That’s none of your business.” Monica snapped. She stood, picked up her plate then bent down to spoon the eggs into Franks bowl. He happily ate her untouched breakfast.
“I’m outta here.” Kara said getting up from the table and leaving her plate. “I’ll be back later.”
Monica said nothing as she walked out. A minute later Bert appeared.
“Liv’s crying.” He said walking into the room. “I don’t think I can take much more of this fucking shit. Can we call Carrie? See if we can do anything to take away her pain.”
Monica wondered if he’s overheard her conversation with Kara. “I’ll call her.” She reached for her cell phone on the counter.
“Are you gonna call Gee?” He asked softly. He had over heard them talking.
“I doubt if he’d answer. I haven’t talked to him since I hung up on him days ago.” Monica explained. She leaned against the counter, “You could call him.”
“No, way. I’m fucking pissed at how he’s acting. If I called him I just end up calling him a son of a bitch.”
Monica looked over at the clock. “They have a concert tonight so he’s probably at the venue.” She grabbed the phone and called. It went to voicemail. “Call home” was all she said after the beep.
“I’ve got to get back upstairs.” Bert said as she poured a cup of coffee.
Monica watched him leave feeling so sad. Bert looked like he could drop at any minute. The dark circles under his eyes got worse everyday. She shook her head sadly as she placed a call to Carrie. Thankfully she told Monica she would be over within the hour.

Bob was walking by and overheard the message from Monica as Gerard was listening to his voice mail. He slowed down and stopped a short distance away from the chair Gerard was sitting in and waited.
Closing his phone Gerard picked up a graphic novel and began to read.
“So you’re not gonna call her back?”
Gerard turned slightly in his chair to face Bob, “What?”
“Monica. You’re not gonna call home like she asked?”
“Make it a habit to listen to my voice mail?” Gerard asked sarcastically.
Bob walked over to him, “I wasn’t trying to listen but I heard. So you’re gonna call her, right?’
Turning back around Gerard went back to reading.
“She sounded upset.” Bob felt this was too important to let go.
“Mind you own business.” Gerard answered without looking up.
“This is my business.” Bob answered angrily. “Kara’s told me how upset Monica is right now.”
“Last time I talked to her she fucking hung up on me.”
Bob was sure she’d had a good reason. “You’re just determined to make everyone feel as miserable as you.”
Gerard snapped the book closed, “I’m not miserable.”
It was hard for Bob not to laugh, “Yeah, right.”
“Why the fuck can’t people just leave me alone?” Gerard asked as he stood up. “Really just leave me alone.”
Bob’s temper snapped, “Keep acting like this and I’m sure you will be alone.” He walked out of the room in search of a quiet place to call his wife.

Monica waited until she knew the concert was over and he’d had time to return to his hotel room to call. Once again her call was not answered. She called Mikey.
“Could you please tell Gee to call me?”
Mikey stopped in the lobby and moved to a spot out of the way where he could talk freely. “What’s going on?”
“I just want to tell him that I don’t think Liv will make it much longer.” Monica said softly.
“Shit.” Mikey spotted his brother walking towards the elevators. “Monica needs to talk to you.”
Gerard didn’t stop. He simply walked by and got into the elevator. “I don’t know if he heard me.” Mikey lied.
Monica knew that Gerard had heard. She also knew he was ignoring the request. “It’s okay” She said sadly, “You can’t make him call.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Mikey leaned against the wall, “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Don’t blame yourself.” Monica said softly. “It’s just that Liv is awake and asking to talk to him.”
“Oh, man.” Mikey said pushing himself off the wall. “Let me talk to him.” She agreed and he took the next elevator. Once he was outside Gerard’s room he wasn’t sure what to say. He knocked that waited. Soon the door was thrown open. His brother didn’t speak just glared.
“Liv is awake and asking to speak to you.” Mikey said softly, “You need to call home.” Gerard slammed the door in his face.

Monica walked slowly back into Liv’s room. It broke her heart when Liv looked up at her expectantly. “I couldn’t get a hold of him right now.” She lied.
Bert looked over at Monica and it was obvious he knew she was lying. “I’m gonna grab something to drink.” He squeezed Liv’s hand, “I’ll be back in just a minute, okay?”
Liv tried to smile, “I’ll try to still be here.”
It took every ounce of strength Bert had not to cry. He quickly left the room. Monica sat down by the bed. “What do you want to say to him?”
A hard pain caused Liv to flinch, “I’m not gonna tell him.” She answered knowing that was what Monica really wanted to know. “I just wanted to hear his voice.” She whispered.
Monica broke down into tears. “I’m so sorry. I’ll try to call him again.”
Liv flinched again. “It’s okay.” The pain was making it hard to talk, “Monica, thank you for everything.”
“Stop saying that.” Monica said through her tears, “You don’t need to thank me for anything.”
“Just love my baby. That’s all that’s important.” Liv felt herself slipping back into the darkness, “Just promise.”
Monica grabbed her hand, “You know I will. I love Elle.”
Liv nodded slightly. When Bert came back upstairs she was sleeping. He saw Monica crying and put his hand on her shoulder. “He wouldn’t answer, would he?”
Monica shook her head sadly, “No, he wouldn’t.”

Gerard looked over at the clock. It was 3:15 in morning and he hadn’t slept. Even the sleeping pills he’d downed before crawling into bed hadn’t quieted the demons in his brain. He sat up and grabbed his cigarettes in the darkness. Was he wrong not to talk to her? What if she wanted to tell him? “Fuck” He muttered. What difference would it make? How would she tell him? Maybe, “Hey Gerard I fucked your brother?” Or maybe “Hey, by the way Elle might be Mikey’s ain’t that funny?” He lit the cigarette and leaned back against the headboard. His eyes watched the glowing ember as his mind traveled back to the day he’d met her. She had been so beautiful; she had been everything he’d ever wanted. He had still thought of himself as a pudgy, basement geek and she had been so gorgeous. When he’d gotten up his nerve and kissed her he’d believed he’d truly found the part of his life he’d been looking for. It had all been a lie. Angrily he snuffed out the cigarette and grabbed his phone. He had to know why. The light was flashing telling him he had a voice message. His heart stopped beating when he head Monica’s voice.
“Gee, her last memory was the field of wildflowers.”
Gerard closed the phone and remembered to breathe. Liv was gone. In the darkness he curled up and released the tears he’d been holding in since that day so long ago he’d awoke to find her gone.