FicWad

The others found out about Liv’s death from their loved ones at home. Gerard never uttered a word about Liv’s passing. He never called Monica. She left several voice messages giving him the details about Liv’s funeral. She wondered if he’d even listened to them. On the day before the funeral Mikey approached his brother.
“We would all understand if you flew home for the funeral.” He said finding Gerard sitting alone in the hotel coffee bar.
Gerard looked up from the paper he’d been reading. “I have no desire to go to the funeral.”
Mikey sat down across from him. “Gee, why won’t you talk to me? I know you’re hurting. You’ve never shut me out before.”
Draining his coffee cup Gerard folded the paper and prepared to leave. “No Mikey. I never shut you out before. I shared my fucking life with you. All of it, right?”
Mikey tried to understand his brother’s words. There was something about the last sentence that set off warning bells in his head. “We’ve always shared everything with each other.”
Gerard stood. His anger was coming off him in waves, “Yeah, brother. Everything.” He spat. With that he turned and left.

Monica was standing in the room that had been Liv’s. Hospice had taken away the hospital bed and the room looked like it had before. Tears filled her eyes. While things looked like they had looked before Liv died nothing was the same. She closed her eyes and wondered where Gerard was at this very moment. Was he thinking about her, about home, about Liv? If only she could go back to the day she’d gone to find Liv. Would she have done anything differently? Shaking her head slowly she realized the truth. No matter how messed up things were right now she would never have wanted Liv to die without having Bert with her. Monica’s tears flowed freely as she remembered Bert holding Liv in his arms as she’d slipped away.
Suddenly Monica felt herself being drawn into a tight hug. “It’s gonna be okay” Bert whispered to her as he gently rocked her. “It will.”
“Why hasn’t he called?” Monica said. Her voice shook with emotion.
Bert sighed, “I don’t know. I don’t understand. I tried to call him but he didn’t answer. I guess he’s hurting too much to talk.”
“Well so are we. We’re hurting but I still want to hear his voice.” Monica hugged Bert tightly, “I felt so terrible that Liv wanted to hear his voice before she died and he wouldn’t fucking call.”

“When are you moving back home?” Luke asked Kelly as they walked to Donna’s after school.
“Mom said it would be best to wait until after the funeral.” Kelly said softly.
“What did your mom say about Elle? Is she gonna tell her?”
Kelly and Luke had discussed this last night on the phone. “Mom doesn’t know what to do. She said Dad had told her that he wanted to be with her when they told Elle. Mom’s not ever really sure if Elle will understand.”
“So I guess they aren’t gonna take her to the funeral?”
Kelly shook her head, “No, she’s gonna stay with Grandpa. Grandma and I are going.”
Luke squeezed her hand, “Tell me what your thinking? I can tell something is really wrong.”
Kelly stopped walking, “Luke, something is really wrong but I don’t understand the feeling.” Tears sprung to her eyes, “I keep remembering the morning dad left for the tour and how I felt like he was leaving forever.”
Luke frowned, “Forever? Sunshine, I’m sure it’s not forever.”
“Mom told me last night that he hasn’t called since Liv died.” She added softly, “He really hasn’t said much since he was here to see Liv.”
“That’s fucked up.” Luke said before thinking.
Kelly understood Luke’s comment. “It is fucked up. I can’t believe Dad hasn’t called Mom. He has to understand what she went through.”
Luke put his arms around her, “Hey, I’m sure things will be okay. Try not to worry.”
Kelly really wanted to believe his words but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t.

“I’ll pick you up around nine.” Christa said deciding in her mind that would give the plenty of time to make it to the cemetery.
Alicia sat down on the sofa and moved the phone to her other ear, “That’s great but really it’s out of your way. I can drive myself if it’s too much trouble.”
“No trouble at all.” She laughed, “Anyway I already told Mikey I was gonna do it.”
“When did you talk to him?” Alicia asked sounding surprised.
“He was with Ray when I talked to him last night. Pretty sure they were discussing Gerard when he called.”
Alicia sighed, “Yeah, Mikey is so tore up about his brother. He told me he just can’t stand the way Gee is handling or not handling this all.”
“I’m just worried about Monica.” Christa said, “I talked to her this morning and she sounds bad. I’m really glad Bert is there with her. He’s taken care of all the funeral arrangement so at least she didn’t have to do that.”
“You know I never really liked Bert much but now I realize there is a lot more to the guy then I ever knew. Monica said as tore up as he is about Liv he is worrying so much about her. Last night he made dinner for her cause he’s worried she’s not taking are of herself.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m glad he’s with her. I just don’t understand why Gee is acting like he is. He’s not called her since Liv died. What the hell is that all about?” Christa asked.
“I don’t know. My brother-in-law is pissing me off. I know he’s making Monica question the decision she made about taking Liv home. That’s fucked up. Monica did what she thought was best for everyone and now she feels like shit. It ain’t right.”
“I talked to Kara last night and she’s really pissed about everything. She told me she tries not to say much to Bob about it cause she understands Gerard is his friend but she says it’s really getting hard.”
“This has got to be hell on her too. She told me that at the end she couldn’t stay in Liv’s room. Her Mom and Bert were with Liv but she said she just couldn’t be there. It was too painful to watch Bert.” Alicia shook her head sadly trying to imagine those last few minutes of Liv’s life.
“I just hope that we can all get back to normal now.” Christa said honestly. “I hope that Gerard comes out of this and realizes how much Monica needs him.”
“Me too.” Alicia said.
They spoke for several more minutes and Christa told Alicia how the plans for Jamia’s baby shower were shaping up. It was next Saturday and she hoped that she and Kara hadn’t missed any important details.

After the concert Gerard left the venue before the others had a chance to catch up with him. He told the driver to drop him off a few blocks from the hotel. Once out of the car he spotted an open club and walked in with purpose. He had made a decision.
Soon the drink he’d ordered sat in front of him and he slowly reached out to touch the cool glass. His fingers trembled slightly and he silently cursed himself for it. As he was about to raise the glass his cell phone vibrated in his pocket.
“Fuck” he muttered reaching into his pocket intent on turning it off. He glanced at the screen. It was Kelly. Guilt about what he was about to do stuck him full force. He waited until the call went to voice mail then pushed the button to listen to her message.
“Dad I just felt like I suddenly needed to call you. Are you okay? I miss you, Dad. I love you.” Her sweet young voice sounded scared.
Gerard closed his eyes as he lowered the phone. “Thank you, Kell,” He whispered. He stood and walked outside into the darkness. He sent a text message in reply.
“Kell you were right. I needed your words. I love you.”