FicWad

The small group gathered around the graveside in silence. Bert stood next to Monica in the new suit he'd purchased just for the occasion. He planned on burning it as soon as possible. Glancing over at Monica he saw the tears in her eyes. He moved closer and put his arm around her shoulder hoping to give her strength. It was over, truly over.
Kelly stood holding hands with Luke. She had been surprised when he'd showed up at the graveside service. He hadn't told her he was coming and his presence meant the world to her. He tightened his grip on her hand wishing he knew what to say. He didn't understand that him being there was all she needed.
They all had been surprised when Frank had appeared. He hadn't mentioned to anyone he was coming. He stood off to the side looking down trying to let go of the guilt he felt about his treatment of Liv in the past. He wished now he’d spoken to her before she’d passed.
Alicia and Christa stood along side Kara. Alicia looked over and saw the tears in Kara's eyes. It was obvious she was struggling not to give in to the emotion. Christa noticed too but neither knew what to say or do so they looked away. It was Donna who surprised them all when she said she'd like to say a few words.
"From the first time Gerard introduced me to Liv I knew in my heart she was a wounded soul. I will always hate the part of me that didn't try harder to find out why. I will always hate the part of me that chose to accept Liv's anger instead of trying to move past the anger to see the woman she really was. I know now Liv lived with demons. Demons who wouldn't release her. My finally words to Liv are these. Thank you for my grandchild. Thank you for loving my son so much that you gave birth to his child. I am sorry for the way I treated you." She lowered her head.
Donna's words caused Monica’s heart to hurt. She realized that now she was the only one who understood the irony of Donna's words. Yes, Liv had given her a grandchild. But which one of Donna's sons was the father of that child? Monica closed her eyes and prayed she had made the right decision. She would never let anyone know the father could be Mikey. Elle was and would forever be Gee's child. The truth, if it ever were revealed, could destroy so many lives.
After several more minutes the group started to move away from the grave. It was if they all sensed it was time to move on with life. Bert thanked the minister who'd performed the service. While the man hadn't known Liv his words were still touching. They spoke of a life cut short and how while we question now someday the answers would be clear.
Alicia and Christa spoke briefly to Monica telling her they would call her later. Kara had suddenly asked if she could go with them. She couldn't face the prospect of going back to the house right now.
Frank hugged Monica tightly, "You did the right thing taking care of her. You did a beautiful thing.” He whispered in her ear. He moved over to Bert and shook his hand. "I'm sorry, man." was all he could think to say. Bert nodded.
Donna took Luke and Kelly with her. Now only Bert and Monica stood by the graveside. The wind picked up and the beautiful flowers Bert had chosen for the service swayed in the warm spring breeze. Monica smiled sadly, "I've never seen a bouquet of wildflowers at a funeral before."
Bert looked her in the eye, "I had heard the story about the field of wildflowers before. I knew why she uttered how beautiful the flowers were before she died."
Monica couldn't contain her tears any longer. She moved into his arms and clung to him. "I'm so sorry."
Bert blinked his glistening eyes, "I wanted Livie to have wildflowers.” He said simply. "I always wanted Livie to have what she wanted. At least I did until I thought she wanted to take Gee away from you."
Monica sobbed, "But in a way she still did take him from me. I can't fight a ghost."
Bert tightened his hold on her, "Stop that. He loves you."
Monica wished with all her heart she could believe him. They simply stood in each other’s arms sharing their grief. Neither saw the man several yards away snapping photos.

The band was at the venue getting ready for the sound check when Gerard simply disappeared. One minute he was backstage with the rest of them and then he was gone. Mikey understood. "Right now back home they are having Liv's funeral.” He told his friends.
"Shit" Ray uttered realizing Mikey was right.
"Let's do the sound check without him." Bob said, "He needs to be alone right now."
The others agreed. They went through the motions but they all were thinking about Gerard, especially his brother. Mikey hoped with all his heart that now Liv was gone the healing process would begin for Gerard. He just wanted his brother back.
Outside on a low stone wall Gerard sat trying to gather his thoughts. He tried to visualize Liv's funeral. It would be small. She had no one in the world but Elle. No, he reminded himself she had Monica and Bert. Suddenly an unwelcome memory appeared. He remembered the fight that had broken his friendship with Bert. It was because of Liv. He wanted to hate her for that. He wanted to hate her for all the things she'd done to him. Still in his mind he could hear her soft voice telling him about her past. She's been so damaged, so broken. Still he couldn’t get past his anger. The anger reminded him that no matter how horrible had been she'd slept with his brother. The brother he'd loved so much. She'd killed that love.

As soon as they walked in the backdoor Bert spoke, "I'm gonna take off."
Monica had been expecting this. "You have to get back to your life."
Bert nodded, "Yeah, it's time." He took Monica's hands in his, "But if you need me to stay I will. Just say the word and I'll stay."
Smiling sadly Monica spoke, "I'll be okay. So will you. We have to move on now."
"Promise me that if you need me you'll call. I'll have my ass back here quicker than you think."
"I know you would. You are my dear, sweet friend. I know I can always count on you." She hugged him tightly. "Take care of yourself. I just may need a friend soon."
Her words worried him, "Monica, I'm sorry about the way he's acting. I wish I could do something."
She moved out of this arms towards the counter where she leaned feeling so weary, "There is nothing you can do. There is nothing anyone can do. Gee has to work this out on his own. I can't help him no matter how much I want to, I can't."
Bert looked at her closely. She looked exhausted. He made a decision, "You know what? I'm not gonna take off yet."
She understood what he was doing, "I'm fine, really."
"Yeah, well I know the girls aren't gonna move back until Saturday and I'm pretty sure Kara isn't gonna be back until then either. She needs to get away. So you're stuck with me at least until Saturday. I'm not gonna leave you here alone."
Monica started to tell him she would be fine but he held up his hand, "Now why don't you go lay down and take a nap. I'll fix us some dinner later on."
The sweetness of his words and actions touched her deeply, "Bert, are you sure? I'm thinking the band might need you."
He shrugged, "Hey what's a few more days? They can get along without me." He moved over to Monica and put his hands on her shoulders. "Now move it woman." He gently propelled her out of the kitchen and into the family room. Once she was settled on the sofa he covered her with a throw. "Close your eyes and sleep. You need it."
Monica felt tears once again in her eyes, "Thank you." She whispered.
Bert smiled, "Hey, I'm just takin' care of my friend." He gently kissed the top of her head.
Her eyes closed and she tried to block out all the memories of the previous few hours. It proved impossible. She kept hearing Donna's words in her head thanking Liv for her grandchild.

Somehow he's gotten through the concert without making any mistakes. It had been a struggle especially when he'd heard the opening strains of Cancer. Now as he lay in his bed Gerard once more thought about Liv's funeral. He got up and turned on the bedside lamp. Back home it would be dinnertime. He flipped open his phone and called Monica. Bert's voice surprised him.
"Hello"
"Bert." Gerard said, "How's it going, man?"
Anger at his friend caused Bert to snap, "Not so fucking good. We buried Liv today, you know."
"I know." Gerard answered, "I want to talk to Monica."
"I'll wake her." Bert said knowing how much Monica would want to talk to him.
"Wake her?" Gerard asked
Bert moved out of the kitchen and towards the family room. "Yeah, she was wiped out after the funeral so I had her take a nap. She's slept all afternoon. Stress does that to you."
Hearing how Bert suddenly seemed in charge of Monica angered Gerard, "I understand she's been under a lot of stress."
"Really?" Bert shot back sarcastically. "Know that cause you've kept in touch so much?" He had reached the family room and Monica's eyes flew open. He handed the phone to her, "It's Gee."
Monica sat up, "Gee?"
Gerard tried to hide his anger, "Yeah, Honey. How are you?"
"How are you?" She asked not answering his question. Something that was not lost of Gerard.
"I'm okay. I asked how you are."
She tried to shake off the sleepy feeling that she still was under, "I'm okay."
He reached for his cigarettes. Monica heard the sound of his lighter.
"You smoke too much." She said softly.
Instead of her remark causing anger she simply sighed, "Yeah, I do. So how was the funeral?"
"It was nice." Monica said. She watched Bert walk back towards the kitchen, "Alicia, Christa, Kara, Kelly, Luke, Me, Bert and Frank."
"Frank went?"
"Yeah, Frank was there." Monica said softly, "And your mom. She even said a few words."
"What did she say?" Gerard was surprised by this information.
"She said she was sorry she's never tried to understand Liv's anger. That she realized Liv was a wounded person and that she wished she'd tried to understand why."
"Wouldn't have done her any good." Gerard said, "I tried."
Monica could hear the hurt in his voice, "I know."
He exhaled a stream of smoke then asked, "Mom say anything else?"
The rest was hard to say. Monica knew that there was a chance he'd hear it from someone else eventually so she decided to tell him the truth. "She thanked Liv for her grandchild."
Gerard went still. The world seemed to tilt. He knew that Monica understood the irony of his mom’s words. He couldn't speak.
"Gee?" Monica said wondering if the connection had been broken.
"I'm still here, just fucking tired." he lied. "This tour has been brutal."
"You sound tired." Monica said softly. "I'll be so happy when it's over."
"Me too" Gerard agreed, "I wanna come home and take you to Vegas."
His words surprised her, "I'd think you'd want to come home and chill a bit first."
No, that's not what he wanted. He wanted to get far away from the memories, far away from his family. Far way from his brother. "I wanna make you my wife."
Monica smiled, "Thought I already was."
He leaned back and closed his eyes, "Yeah, Honey. You already are." Suddenly he had to ask, "Do you know why Liv was asking to talk to me before she died?” The pain in his voice was raw.
She closed her eyes trying to keep the sadness from her voice, “She said she just wanted to hear your voice.”
Guilt blindsided him. It was several moments before he spoke again. “I’m sorry I didn’t call.” He whispered. Taking another breath he asked “Did Liv say anything else about her past?”
Monica froze. She tried to collect her thoughts, "No"
Gerard knew she was lying. Monica was lying to him just like Liv had done. "I gotta go,” he said quickly. "I'll call you tomorrow." He hung up afraid that if he spoke to her any longer he’d tell her what he had overheard. This was something he couldn’t deal with right now.