FicWad

“Bert can you get that?” Monica yelled from the deck. She was out throwing the ball for Frank when she heard her cell phone. It was on the counter in the kitchen where Bert was preparing a late dinner.
“No problem.” He answered drying off his hands and grabbing her cell phone. “Hello.”
“Is there a reason you keep answering my fiancée’s phone?”
“Hey, Gee.” Bert said ignoring the question.
Gerard took a deep breath, “Let me talk to Monica.”
“Hold on she’s coming in from the back yard.” He held out the phone to Monica as she came through the sliding door.
“Hello” She answered breathlessly.
“Why is he still there?” Gerard asked without bothering with a greeting.
Monica was shocked by the question and his tone. She smiled at Bert and whispered, “It smells great.” nodding to the stir-fry he was making then moved towards the living room.
“What smells great?” Gerard asked.
“Dinner.” Monica answered as she took a seat on the sofa.
“Dinner.” Gerard repeated, “He’s making you dinner?”
Monica was losing patience, “Yeah, Bert is making me dinner.”
“Well isn’t that fucking sweet? What else is he doing for you?” The question brought a shape intake of breath from Monica. She tried to control the anger in her voice.
“I really hope you don’t mean that the way it sounds.” Her tone should have been a warning.
Gerard heard the tone and tried to back off, “Why is he still there?”
“He’s here because he’s worried about me. The girls aren’t moving back until tomorrow and he didn’t want to leave me alone.”
“Kara’s there.” Gerard said with a frown.
“Actually she’s staying at your Mom’s. She didn’t want to come back here after the funeral.”
Gerard thought a moment, “So you’re alone in our house with Bert?”
Monica tried to remind herself how happy she was that he had called but this line of questioning was really upsetting her, “Yes, right now I am. Gee, you can’t tell me that you have a problem with that.”
“I can tell you I have a problem with that. It doesn’t look right. Especially with what’s being said on the Net.”
Monica blinked in surprise, “What? I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”
“There are photos on the Net of you and Bert together.” He answered.
“Of me and Bert?”
“Yes Monica. Of you and Bert.” He sounded as if he was explaining something to a child.
Monica searched her brain, “But the only time I’ve been anywhere with Bert was at the cemetery.”
Gerard was starting to feel stupid for bringing it up. He realized now how she was going to react. “Yeah, at the cemetery.”
“Oh good God, Gerard. You are upset about photo’s of Bert and I comforting each other at the death of our friend?”
It angered him that Monica was calling Liv a friend. “At the death of my ex-girlfriend.” He replied.
Monica had enough, “At the death of the woman Bert loved. At the death of my friend. I came to care very much for Liv.”
Gerard suddenly backed down, “I didn’t call to start a fight with you.”
“Then why did you call?” she asked. “Why?”
He had no answer. No, that wasn’t quite true. He had been angry about the photos and upset. Seeing Liv’s graveside service made the realization that she was truly gone strike him with a force. “I just felt like shit when I saw the photos. I wanted to hear your voice.” He whispered.
Monica closed her eyes and tried to understand, “Gee, please tell me you trust me?”
Trust. That word was hard for him at the moment. He’d trusted his brother; he’d trusted Liv when she said he was the only man she ever loved. He trusted that Monica would always tell him the truth but so far she hadn’t. He closed his eyes, “I know you and Bert are just friends.”
His answer seemed odd to Monica. Why hadn’t he just said he trusted her? “I’m sorry you saw the photos. I know seeing Liv’s grave had to be hard for you.”
“Fucking hard.” He exploded, “The grave and the wildflowers.”
Monica was shocked by the outburst. She hadn’t expected anger. “The wildflowers were because they were her happiest memory.”
“And Bert is the one who made sure she got them.” He knew he sounded like an idiot but he couldn’t stop himself.
“Because you weren’t here.” Monica said softly. “Bert knew about the memory.”
“What else does Bert know about?” He asked quickly.
Once again Monica was surprised by how quickly he changed subjects. “I don’t understand the question.”
He stopped himself before he could blurt out the question. Did Bert know about Liv and Mikey? Gerard took a deep breath, “Nothing, just forget it.”
“Gee, what’s going on?” Monica struggled to understand. “What is wrong?”
All his anger suddenly faded. “I’m sorry, Monica. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. I really did want to hear your voice. I didn’t mean to call and argue with you.”
“Then listen to my voice. Hear it tell you how much I love you.” She said softly.
Gerard closed his eyes. “Thank you.” He said slowly. “Thank you for loving me.”
“Gee, I told you once before. Never thank me for that. There’s no need. I love you with ever breath in my body. Soon everything will be okay. We’ll be married and have our family. It will all be so perfect.”
The word perfect suddenly seemed so wrong. It was what he had tried for with Liv so often and it had never happened. “I’ve gotta go. I love you.” He said in a whisper.
“Love you too. Always.” Monica said wishing she could be in his arms. They disconnected and she sat a moment replaying the conversation in her head. He seemed so confused and angry.
“Ready to eat?” Bert asked from the doorway.
Monica smiled, “Yeah, I’m starving.” She tried to put all the worry is had for Gee out of her mind for the moment. It wasn’t easy.
After dinner when Kara and Kelly called to talk to her about the photos they were surprised to learn that their mom already knew. She explained to them that Gerard had told her and that he understood that the photos were innocent. Kelly was happy to hear this but Kara wondered if what her mom was telling her was the truth. There had been something in Monica’s voice that had sounded wrong.

Saturday morning the girls moved back home, Kara included. It felt right having them back in the house. Bert even made lunch for everyone. Monica’s spirits were lifted having the house full again. She tried to call Gerard to tell him how she felt but once again her call went to voice mail. She left a brief message and had just disconnected when Elle walked in.
“Whos yous takin’ to?” She asked climbing up on Monica’s lap.
“I was leaving a message of Gee.” She explained.
“Dadgee?” Elle asked with a smile.
“Yeah, Dadgee.”
“Mes wants to weave a messege.”
Monica smiled, “You want to leave a message, too. Okay.” Maybe it will help lift his spirits Monica thought. She called his number back and waited until the beep “Go ahead say hello.” Monica held the phone out.
“Hewoo Dadgee its mes Bug. Ise messes yous.”
Monica closed the phone and gave her a huge hug. “I’m sure that will make him feel better.”

After the concert Gerard headed straight back to the hotel. The rest of the guys were going to go out to get something to eat but he just wanted to go to sleep. Sleep was the only way he could shut off his brain. That was of course when he could fall asleep. He took a quick shower and decided against getting out the lap top and checking things on the Web. He knew he would just end up upset again. Crawling into bed he grabbed his cell phone to listen to his voice messages. Monica’s voice brought a smile to his face. She simply said she was thinking about him, that she loved him and that the house was full again. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine home. He missed it so much. The next message a few moments later caused him to catch his breath. Elle’s sweet voice tore at his heart. “Fuck” he whispered as she said called him Dadgee. He had truly loved to hear her call him that before but now it seemed wrong. He closed the phone and sat it down on the nightstand. With all his heart he wanted to believe he was her father but what if he wasn’t? What if she was Mikey’s child? Over and over in his mind he tried to decide what to do. Should he just confront Mikey with what he knew? Tell him why he couldn’t stand to look at him anymore? Sleep never came to him and when it was time to meet up with the rest of the band his mood was darker than before.