FicWad

“Hey, Monica.”
“What’s wrong?” Monica could hear by Alicia’s voice that something wasn’t right. Her first thought frightened her. Had Gerard confronted Mikey who in turn had told Alicia?
“I called to ask you a pregnancy question. I don’t want to bother Jamia with this and you did say I could call you anytime.”
Monica got up from the sofa and walked out into the hall. She and Elle were watching a movie in the family room and she wanted to take this call in private. Alicia sounded scared.
“What do you want to know?” Monica asked.
“Wait, I didn’t even ask you how you are.”
Monica tried to force her voice to sound normal. Her world seemed to be falling apart but still she tried to hide this. She just didn’t know what else to do. “I’m okay. Now what’s up?”
Alicia knew she was lying. Mikey had called her earlier and told her that Gee was getting worse every day. “Monica? You can talk to me.”
Tears sprang to Monica’s eyes, “I know that but right now I really can’t.” She whispered.
“I wish there was something I could do to help. I don’t understand why Gee is acting like this. Mikey sounds so fucking devastated when he calls. Gee won’t talk to any of the guys. Mikey said he’s never seen Gee act this way.”
“I never thought he’d act like this either.” Monica leaned against the wall suddenly feeling bone-tired.
“Monica, do you really know why? I mean it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”
I can’t tell you, Monica thought. I can’t tell you why Gee is devastated. I can’t tell you that your husband slept with Liv. “What’s the pregnancy question?” Monica asked changing the subject.
Alicia understood this meant she wasn’t going to tell her anything about Gerard. “I’ve been feeling kinda sick. I mean I always hear about morning sickness but this is in the evening. I can’t keep anything down.”
Monica pushed her own troubles aside, “How long has this been going on?”
“Couple of days.”
“You need to eat. You’ve got to keep your strength up. Have you talked to your doctor?”
“Should I?” Alicia sounded scared.
“No, I just thought that if it really bothered you, she might have some good suggestions. Don’t worry. Despite the name, morning sickness can happen anytime of day. I’m just worried that you’re not keeping enough food down.”
“I try to eat but food just makes me nauseous.”
“You gotta eat.” Monica said trying not to worry her but wanting her to understand. “Have you tried chicken broth?”
“Yuck” Alicia said. “Nasty.”
Monica laughed, “Okay how about plain old soda crackers?”
“Haven’t tried them.” Alicia admitted.
“Look, don’t worry. Give your doctor a call in the morning.”
“I don’t want Mikey to know.” Alicia said softly. “He’s got more than enough to worry about right now.”

Gerard was losing patience quickly, the band had landed at the Munich airport over an hour ago and they were still trying to get through customs. The longer airport security went through his things the angrier he became.
“Stay cool.” Ray said noticing Gerard’s posture. He looked ready to pounce.
“I want to get to the fucking hotel. I need to call home.” Gerard said in a chipped tone.
Ray has surprised to hear he was anxious to call home. “The more you look like you don’t care the sooner they will stop searching.”
Gerard exhaled a huge sigh, “This is so pointless. We got nothing for them to find.”
“I know.” Ray agreed. Bob walked over to them.
“I’m asleep on my feet.” He complained with a yawn.
“Have you talked to Kara?” Gerard asked.
“I talked to her right before we boarded.” Bob answered. “Why?”
“Did she say anything about Kell?”
Bob shook his head, “She was with Christa. They had just finished looking at an apartment.”
“Oh.” Gerard said. He didn’t want to think about Kara moving out. He didn’t want to think how hurt Monica was because he was sure she blamed him.
“Why?” Bob asked again.
“Monica told me that Kell hadn’t come home from school and she was worried.”
“Well why don’t you call?” Bob asked.
“I’d like to call when I can have some fucking privacy.” Gerard answered with a frown.
“Want me to call Kara?” Bob offered.
“So she can bitch again about what a mother fucker I am?” Gerard spat.
Bob stood taller, “Dude, watch it.” His tone was low and deadly calm.
Ray moved between the two, “Hey, let’s keep cool, okay?”
Gerard gave Bob another angry glance then moved away, Ray turned to Bob, “What was that about?”
Bob sighed, “Kara left a message for Gee on his voice mail. She told him what she thinks about the way he’s treating Monica.”
“Shit,” Ray uttered. He saw Bob’s look then added, “I totally understand how she feels.”
“She’s so pissed about everything she’s moving out of Gerard’s house.”
Ray nodded, “I thought so. Christa mentioned that she was going to tell Kara about an apartment that was available. I wonder how Monica is taking it.”
“Kara told me that Monica said she understands but you know Monica as well as I do. She’ll keep her true feelings hidden.”
“Yeah, she does that. Fuck, I wish that Gee wasn’t treating her like this. I mean I just can’t understand why he’d hurt the one person who loves him so much.”
Bob shook his head, “I don’t know. It makes no sense to me. All I know is my wife is really taking all of this hard. I should be there for her.”
Ray understood Bob’s feelings, “I know but I’m sure Kara understands you can’t be.”
Bob let his guard down and admitted, “She says she understands but fuck, she’s so young. I know how hard it is on her for me to be gone. In a lot of ways she’s like her mom. She tries to be so strong but I know she’s hiding her true feelings.”
They looked over when they heard Gerard say to the security office, “You already fuckin’ looked through that one.”
“We’re gonna be here for hours.” Ray said noting the look on the security officer’s face. “If he’d only keep his fucking mouth shut.”

Monica said goodnight to Kelly and Elle and moved towards the door.
“Mommyca?”
“Yes, Elle?” Monica turned back towards the bed.
“Me wuvs youse.” She smiled melting Monica’s heart.
“Love you too, Baby. Now get to sleep.” She flipped off the lights and slowly walked across the hall to Kara’s room. She knocked and waited until Kara invited her in.
“Night, Honey.” She said to her eldest.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Kara asked. She set aside the magazine she’d been reading.
“Sure.” Monica walked over and sat down on the bed.
“I’m gonna start moving my stuff into the apartment tomorrow.”
Monica felt her heart sink, “Okay.”
Kara looked at her closely, “You sure you’re okay with this?”
Monica answered honestly, “I understand you feel you need to get away from here.”
“But do you really understand why?”
“Kara, I know you think this is all Gerard’s fault.”
Kara interrupted her, “That’s not true. I think part of it is your fault. You always overlook shit trying to make things right.” She took a deep breath and spoke her mind. “Why the hell are you letting him act like this towards you? After all you’ve done for him he’s treating you like shit. I don’t understand. Is it that important to you to have someone?”
Monica was shocked by the question, “Do you really think I’m just with Gee to have someone?”
Kara nodded slowly, “You want a perfect life. You want to have a husband with a perfect house and perfect children. Something you didn’t have with Dad.”
“Oh Honey.” Monica reached over and touched her arm, “No, I didn’t have that kind of life with your dad. I wished with all my heart for so long that it would be like that but it wasn’t. I’m not trying to have a perfect life with Gee. I don’t believe anyone has a perfect life. But I do love him with all my heart and I know he loves me. There is so much you don’t understand about the situation.”
“Secrets.” Kara said sadly. “I don’t understand and I probably never will. Just promise me that if you need anyone you’ll call me.”
Monica smiled at her daughter, “Kara, I want to tell you how proud I am of you. You are a strong, independent woman. I look at you and I’m so proud.”
Kara was surprised by her mother’s words. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you.” She wanted to end the conversation on a good note, “So how’s Bob?”
“Tired and wanting to come home.” Kara answered honestly.
“He wants to come home to his wife.” Monica said but once the words left her mouth a voice inside her head questioned, did Gerard want to come home to her?

Gerard slammed the hotel door closed and threw down his bag. Four hours. The band has been detained four hours in customs. By now he was sure he’d have heard if Kell hadn’t returned home. He undressed quickly and crawled into his bed. He was so tired he couldn’t think straight. They were scheduled to do an interview in a few hours and he had to get some sleep.

Monica crawled into bed and reached over to flip off the light. He hadn’t called. Her heart felt like it was broken. How could he not have been concerned enough about Kelly to call? She rolled over and hugged his pillow tightly to her. Was Kara right? Was she wrong for letting him treat her this way? Yes, she understood he was devastated about finding out about Liv and Mikey but still shouldn’t he at least try to see her point of view? She truly believed in her heart that the decision she’s made not to tell him had been for all the right reasons. She’d known the pain this would cause him. She’d known how the truth could hurt Mikey and Alicia’s marriage. She’d known that Alicia was dealing with a difficult pregnancy. Why then, couldn’t he see she’d held this terrible secret in her heart for him? Monica finally fell asleep but it was haunted by nightmares. Once more she saw herself and Elle alone in a room. The nightmare was still fresh in her mind when she woke the next morning.