FicWad

Gerard sipped his coffee slowly trying to wake up. He really hoped the caffeine would kick in soon. They had only had two hours of sleep and the day was promising to be brutal. One personal appearance after another. He took another sip and found himself wondering what was going on back home.
"Hey, you tired as I am?" Bob asked taking the seat next to him. The hotel coffee shop was filling up fast.
Gerard sighed, "Fuck, yeah."
Bob lowered his voice, "I talked to Kara. Kelly is fine. She was with Luke."
While he was relieved he tried to hide it. "Oh, that's good."
Trying to choose his words carefully Bob said, "She told me that Kelly mentioned you'd left a voice message for her."
Gerard glanced over at him. "Yeah"
"Sounds like Kelly was kinda hurt by it."
He'd been afraid of that. "I just told her to call her mom."
"Maybe you should have told her you were concerned too." Bob said softly.
"Yeah, I fucked up again." Gerard said standing. "I do that a lot." He walked off leaving Bob shaking his head sadly.

"Thanks for inviting us over." Monica said as she and Elle walked into Ray and Christa's house.
"I'm glad you two could come over." Christa led them into the family room. "Elle look what I have." She picked up the new Disney DVD she'd bought. "Wanna watch it?"
Elle nodded happily. "And plays with the toys?"
Christa laughed, "Ray's stuffed animals? Sure." She turned to Monica, "There's fresh coffee in the kitchen. Why don't you pour us some and Elle and I will go grab some of Ray's toys then I'll pop in the movie."
Monica nodded, "Sounds good."
Alone in the kitchen Monica poured the coffee then took a seat at the table. As much as she had missed visiting with Christa she feeling so depressed it was hard to act as if nothing was wrong.
"Okay, she's all settled in front of the TV" Christa said walking over to the table and taking a seat. "Now, tell me the truth. How are you doing?"
Monica looked down at her coffee, “I’ve been better.”
“Monica we’re all so worried about you. The stress you’ve been going through is unbelievable. Alicia and I were talking.”
“Please don’t.” Monica said looking up. “Please I don’t want anyone discussing my problems.”
Christa sat back, “We aren’t trying to butt into your business.”
“But you are. All of you are. That includes Kara. This is between me and Gerard.” Her anger and overwhelming despair were indeed taking their toll. She realized this when she saw the hurt look on Christa’s face. “I’m sorry. I know all of you are concerned but there’s nothing anyone can do.”
Christa sat back in her chair, “Monica, please hear me out. I really am concerned about you. It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me what’s going on. But I just want you to know that I feel closer to you than the others. You are the one who called me to the hospital for Ray. You were the first one to welcome me to the MCR women’s group.” She smiled, “You’re my best friend and I know you’re hurting, so I am too.”
Her words caused Monica to close her eyes, “Oh shit, Christa. I wish I could talk about this. I wish I could tell you but I can’t. “ When she opened her eyes they were filled with tears. “Christa, I don’t know what’s gonna happen between Gerard and I. We’ve gone through so much together but this...I don’t know if we can make it through this.”
Christa reached across the table and took her hand. “I have faith that you and Gee will work this out. You’re right. You two have gone through so much. But Monica, I know he loves you. I’ve seen it in his eyes so many times. You two have started a life together. You’re gonna adopt a baby,” She stopped when she saw the look that passed over Monica’s face. “You are still gonna adopt the baby, aren’t you?”
Monica shook her head, “I don’t know.” She whispered, “I went with Sarah, the birth mother, to her first sonogram yesterday. I was so happy when the doctor told us it was a boy. But when I called Gee he acted like he didn’t care.”
“Oh shit.” Christa said. She stood and grabbed some tissues for Monica then sat back down.
“I don’t know what to do. I can’t talk about this to anyone. I can’t talk to Gee. When we do talk it ends badly.”
Christa sighed, “Just know that I’m here for you.”

“Elle, want to have tacos for dinner?” Monica looked in the rearview mirror to see what kind of reaction her suggestion received. She hoped Elle liked the idea. Tacos would be easy to make since she had stayed longer at Christa’s than she’d planned and they were running late.
“Me wuvs em.” Elle said.
“Okay then. Tacos it is. Now sit up so your seatbelt is tight.” Monica said. Elle was in the back in her toddler seat but lately she had been trying to sneak out of it. She wanted to sit in the front seat like a big girl.
“Mes is.” She said with a frown.
Monica smiled, “I know you want to sit up front but you’re not big enough yet. I just want you to be safe.”
Elle was still frowning.
“Gonna help me make the tacos?”
This brought a smile to her face, “Yep.”
Glancing in the mirror Monica saw the smile and felt her heart catch. God, Elle’s smile reminded her of Gerard. They were almost home when he called.
“I’ve made a decision.” He said without preamble.
“What?” Monica asked tiredly. She could tell by his tone he was still very angry.
“I want a paternity test done.”
Monica was so surprised by his words she almost missed her turn. She glided the car on to the off ramp before speaking. “I can’t really talk about this right now. Elle and I are driving home from Christa’s.”
“Look there’s really nothing to talk about. I want it done.”
Monica glanced in the mirror at Elle. The little girl smiled back at her “Hi, Mommca.” She giggled.
“Did you hear me?” Gerard’s impatient question pulled her back to the call.
“I heard you.” She took a deep breath, “Why?”
“Why?” He sounded incredulous, “What do you mean why? I want to know if she’s mine.”
Monica knew in her heart the answer she was about to give him could alter her life, “I’m sorry but no. You may not think you know but I do. She’s mine.”
Gerard sat back in shock. “Yours?”
“Yes, mine.” She had to word this so Elle didn’t understand; she couldn’t say Liv’s name. “I’m her mother, legally.”
“You mean because Liv made you her guardian?”
“Yes, and now…” She trailed off.
Her words had completely shocked him. “I’m the father.” He sputtered.
“I believe that with all my heart.” Monica said softly.
“Fuck, I mean that’s what Liv had told me. I want to know for sure.” He was angry she was fighting this.
“No, Gee.” Monica said with determination. The thought of him demanding this broke her heart. If the test proved he wasn’t the father would he just turn his back on Elle? Could he really turn off the love he had for her like that?
“Dadgee?” Elle piped up from the backseat. “Mes wansa talk to Dadgee.” She began fidgeting in her seat.
“Not now, Elle.” Monica said rising her voice. She regretted it when she saw Elle’s face fall. “He’s busy right now.” She added softly.
Gerard closed his eyes when he heard Elle’s voice. Pain turned to anger. “I want it done.”
“We will talk later.” Monica said trying to concentrate on her driving.
“There is nothing to talk about.” He’s own voice rose.
Monica almost missed another turn. She realized she was putting Elle’s and her own life in danger trying to argue with him. “No.” She said hoping he’d understand this was something she couldn’t discuss now.
“You can’t stop me from getting it done.” He spat.
Monica couldn’t take anymore, “Your name is not on the birth certificate.”
Her words caused him to explode, “That may be but I can get a lawyer and force this.”
“Do what you think you need to do.” Monica felt her world shattering. “But I will fight this.” She closed the phone with shaking hands.

“Son of a bitch.” Gerard muttered. He pocketed his phone and began to walk back to the hotel.
“Hey, uh, Gerard?” A young man called out.
“Yeah?” He turned and waited.
The journalist explained he had been hoping for an interview.
Gerard took a deep breath, “Why the fuck not?” He answered.