The aftermath of and explanation for the Breakup
(#) DaphneGreengrass 2008-06-21 12:27:45 AMreally dont get why you had to have Daphne basicly raped for this story. especially premeditated by her weak nothing of a father and some old man. maybe if Voldie was alive and the opposing force it would have been believable.
as it stands its just twisted for your pleasure.
1st Daph tried to escape multiple times.
2nd she didnt contact anyone, not even Tracey? even if she couldnt contact Harry she woulda got in contact with Tracey to inform Harry.
3rd when Tracey finally comes and confronts her, she wants it kept from Harry.
Daphne earlier was portrayed as a strong willed individual, and now you turned her into a weak victim.
she would have fought and brought in her allies to help.
seriously you could have had Harry save her before the fact, and then let his vengeance run wild. as it is now, your just gonna have him mindlessly slaughter them for his broken love interest.
Harry also doesnt fit the confident characterization he was earlier either. Daphne said she'd floo him.. what happens when she doesnt?? he sulks and does nothing except weak attempts to contact her. if he was any man and cared for her he would have went over there and found out a reason first hand, and also would have contacted her best friend (Tracey). even after her letter he still sulked instead of realizing she was in trouble... sulked to his friends.
only reason he even reacted once back at Hogwarts was bcuz Tracey threatened him... lol
Harry and his friends would have come up with a better plan than wait til back at school, they would have investigated and thought of a more proactive plan than a reactionary.
is sad to see a good story turn into trash! which is what the last 2 chaps are.
Author's response- I don't understand why it's such a surprise to anyone what happened. I telegraphed what an ass the Elder Greengrass was from the second chapter...
- The entire story is for my pleasure... that and the vast financial rewards.
- Yes, Daphne attempts escape... And fails.
- No, she didn't contact anyone. How could she? She wasn't allowed to use an owl, the House Elves work for her dad, she couldn't get near the floo, and her cell phone battery was dead. Ok, maybe not the last one, but how?
- She knows Harry and what he would try to do. She also knows that Harry doesn't have a legal leg to stand on. Daphne, knowing she was royally screwed, tried to protect Harry.
- She did fight, but had no access to allies.
- I could have, I guess, arriving at the last minute to save the damsel from a fate worse than death is a cliche for a reason I suppose, but I'm not sure how Harry was supposed to know. I guess his Boyfriend Sense could have tingled or something.
- Of course he became a whiny little bitch when he thought she had dumped him. Think about it, that is one of the more common reactions of men who are dumped when they didn't expect it from people who didn't have the horrific upbringing that Harry Potter did. The part of his personality that the Dursley's so carefully nurtured has been expecting Daphne to wise up and leave since their first date.
- Contact Tracey? Who hates him on general principle? Who, if Daphne had dumped him would be laughing her ass off at him? You're right, I don't know why he didn't talk to her while wallowing in self pity.
- No, not because Tracey threatened him. She didn't frighten him in the least. Because he now knows what's going on.
- Ok, with the information they had, AND Daphne's express instructions to leave her alone, what is your 'better proactive plan'? Hopefully one that doesn't break the law?
- I'm not really all that against breaking laws... Harry breaks several in the next chapter. I'm against getting caught breaking laws.
- I'm sorry the story has become trash for you...
- Well, unlike the majority of your reviewers, I really liked the chapter. You guys that are whining about the rapes, get over it! IT'S A FIC!! It's not like he arranged to have a real girl raped. And including that added a gritty bite of realism that too many fics lack.
I like that Harry is confident about some things, but he doesn't really know girls yet, and I can easily see him not understanding that she wasn't the originator of the note. And Daphne has tried to escape, and made it clear that she would have preferred to be ejected from the family by doing so. but she was being held against her will, and effectively kidnapped, raped, and tortured. Logical or not, women that are raped very often feel guilty about it, and ashamed. Very believable.
I'm guessing that the fact that Daph never gave the contract back to her father, and that Harry has it now, is going to be a key element. Maybe it's still active until it is given back to her father? Maybe he will have cause for an honor duel, as he was obviously considering the match?
I'm really looking forward to seeing the next chapter. PLEASE don't take as long for this one as you did for the last one.
Thanks for writing for us.
Author's response- Thank you. I've been expecting the cops to show up to arrest me given the reaction in some reviews.
- Harry doesn't understand women, and much like me, never will.
- The Contract that Daphne kept as a keepsake will play a part, yes. Beyond that, I'm not saying...
- The time between chapters depend upon the conflicts of RL and how well the words flow... No promises.
- Erm, i have a saw here that wants to talk to you about cliffies... That said, yes, you could have made it work without the clause 9, but you have definitely painted the older Greengrass as someone worthy of an almighty smack-down. I also believe that in a world where marriage proposals are customarily accompanied by a porn-shoot, sexual abuse has to be almost too common to be considered much more abusive than a regular dentist appointment. No one accused WizBrits of being civilised. Not in this world, anyway. Keep at it.
- Youre evil evil meanie. LOL
Things I hated about this chapter:
1. Such a very long wait :(
2. Evil Cliffhanger
But overall I Loved the latest chapter it was awesome even if apparently a lot of readers dont like it.
Just promise not to make us wait so long for the next chapter... especially after such a good (but evil) juicy cliffhanger...
(#) canoncansodoff 2008-06-21 07:49:20 AMI've posted the following review/comments on boards where the story is being discussed. Thought that I'd provide them here, as they can serve as a response to those reviewers who have objected to Daphne's treatment in this chapter...
don dba ccso
involving Daphne and the Count were jarring and out-of-the-blue. But
they were also thought-provoking...particularly within the context of
the negative reaction to acts that are clearly
definable as rape under current U.S. law, but legal within Clell's
brutally patriarchal and misogynistic wizarding world.
How can what happened to Daphne not be considered rape? Rape involves
forced nonconsensual sex. The sick fact is, that under the Clause 9
system of marriage contracts, the Count did have consent...it was
obtained from Daphne's father, under the terms offered/negotiated
within the arranged marriage. Daphne didn't have a choice. And it
even appears that, while Daphne hated every moment and wished it
wasn't happening to her, that she understood that the Count had
the "right" to do what he was doing.
The Count, while depicted as a fat hairy lout with bad breath and a
tiny penis, isn't the "bad guy" here...it's the society that he lives
in that's fucked up...he's just doing what is accepted (and even
expected) within his society.
How can I say that the Count has reason to believe that he's not
doing anything wrong? Historical, real life precedent.
Can a husband be charged with raping his wife? Today, in the U.S.,
the answer is yes. But it wasn't that long ago that the answer was
no...husbands could force themselves on their wives without asking
for consent (and without fear of ignoring her protests)...a woman's
marriage vows were considered to be implied consent. I'm sure that
there are lots of places in the world today, in the muggle 21rst
century, where that is still the case (maybe still in parts of the
U.S., where individual states enforce rape laws). Extrapolate from
there to the marriage contract adversely affecting Daphne...the
principles are the same, it's just the pre-nuptial timing that is
Now, just because it isn't legally rape within the legal and societal
standards of clell's version of the wizarding world doesn't mean that
I want to read about it in a story. Was it a cheap gratuitous way of
building drama and angst within the story? Well, like Keith said on
a different board, an author should show, not tell. And, I'd argue
that that it has the potential to be integral to the entire plot (and
central to the "moral of the story.")
Here's one way that the story could end...
Harry is extremely angry, not just that Daphne has been taken away
from him, but that Daphne has no say in whom she is with. He wanted
to storm the Greengrass Estate, rescue his girl, and slit her
father's throat (the Count's for good measure). But Neville backed
him down, and forced Harry to realize that he'd be charged with
murder, because Daphne's father was right within current law.
So what's Harry going to do? Use the law to his advantage. After
getting Daphne's consent to try and stop the arranged marriage to the
Count, Harry is going to use the same f'ed up system to get what he
and Daphne want. I'm assuming that that the original contract that
he returned to Daphne will be integral here...Harry signs it, then
during the Wizengamot bahns/announcement objects to the Count's
marriage to Daphne because his signed offer came first. Live by the
sword, die by the sword, breach of contract, etc., etc. Happily ever
Not quite yet. Of course, Harry will go on a crusade, and use his
fame, money and power to try and end the horrid system of marriage
contracts that treat women this way. But...and this is a very
important but...he also realizes that he himself must share some of
the blame, because he took advantage of the system himself, and acted
in ways that victimized women. He needs to make amends.
Harry returns to his Hogwarts dormitory, and removes from his walls
all of the naked pictures that had been packaged along with the other
marriage contracts. Seamus objects...why is he doing that? Because,
Harry says, it was wrong to put them up there in the first place.
Many of the witches who posed were forced to strip down naked and
wiggle their arse for Harry's benefit by their fathers/patriarchs.
If they didn't consent to Harry seeing the pictures, then they
certainly didn't consent to Seamus pulling one or two of the pics off
of the wall each night so that he could wank over them behind the
privacy of his bed curtains. This lack of choice/consent was similar
to the the inability for intent to be considered when Daphne suffered
under her treatment from the Count.
Harry says that it was wrong to post the girlie pics, even if it was
right within the system. And, worse, he knew that it was wrong when
he put the pictures up...if he hadn't, then he would have put up all
of the pics, including those of the witches that he knew. Sure there
was some respect for them involved, but he has to admit that part of
the reason he didn't post them involved the embarrassment/shame that
he would have felt if the Hogwarts witches involved found out what
Harry had done.
So how will he make things right? Harry begins the long and lengthy
process of tracking down each of the witches whose pics hanged on the
wall and returns them (just as he had done with Daphne and his
friends)...he's got a lot of apologizing to do. Oh, and Daphne loves
Harry all the more for the effort. The End.
don dba ccso
(#) morriganscrow 2008-06-21 09:37:56 AMWhilst vile and ugly, the abuse Daphne suffered was logical, given how she'd been offered to Harry that way. Also, like many social climbing toadies, Greengrass wants to be more "Noble" and "pure" than the long standing representatives of both - so he takes the rules etc to the extreme.
Excellent chapter with much to mull over.
- Thank you for updating this was a hard chapter for me to read (as were a couple of chapters of acts of betrayal)however you are and excellent writer whose stories i enjoy very much so i will trust your judgement that this part was necessary for the story as a whole. write the story your way and do not let the negative reviews get you down
Again excellent story please update as you can
- If you want to have Harry break the law in the next chapter, fine, it's your universe. I see no reason, as it's set up, why Harry, who outranks Neville who outranks Greengrass (and, given the general views seen here and in canon, any English noble would outrank any foreign noble, out ranks the count) should be able to duel for the hand of a witch he had shown was still under his consideration, returned contract or not
Author's response- A challenge duel for her? I never thought of that... Only one of the reasons your stories are better than mine Doc.
- I was expecting something like this. Daphne's situation was a little worse than I thought, but it fits with Mr. Greengrass' previous behaviour.
Can't blame you for putting it in at all--stuff like that happens, and it's hard to just turn a story about because you don't like what's going on. It demands being written, sometimes.
I'm looking forward to what comes next.
Author's response- I thought I was foreshadowing my plot away, but few seem to have seen it... (though over on the Caer Azkaban yahoo group, Canoncansodoff basically posted my outline AND my ending.