The aftermath of and explanation for the Breakup
(#) Terdwilicker 2008-06-21 01:29:20 PMHmm. I'm not happy with the rape scenes. I realize the wizards are barbaric callous animals in canon, and you're following through with JKR's assertions about their disgusting backwards behavior. Still, I question why it was necessary for Daphne to suffer this. If this were a more serious romantic tragedy, Daphne would suicide in shame and Harry would go dark, slaughtering the wizengamot and end up cursed by his people as a "dark wizard", canonically ignoring WHY he did. I suspect you won't play that as dark as I suggested. I'm glad you have lighter stories like Distaff Side to stay cheerful to.
Author's response- Actually I with I'd thought of that. Of course for it to work, Hermione would have to had died, but cause she would never allow Harry to go dark... (at least not without unleashing a level 9 power nag.)
Well, at least 1) it was logical within the context of the previous parts, and 2) it was depicted as wholly a bad thing.
And at least it's not going to go into an angstfest. Possibly more darkness ahead, but at least you're not like some authors (Rowling) where suffering is the only thing you allow to happen for more than brief moments.
(#) Maverick512000 2008-06-21 03:18:21 PMIgnore the nay sayers. I think mostly it was the shock of things going from happy, fun time to a darker theme. Really though if one had reviewed the events leading up to this it was the only realistic thing that could happen. Not to inflate your ego but you are to good a writer to add in the force pictures and clause 9 that came with Daphne's marriage contract as simply a way for Harry to be noble and to not have to resolved the underlining issue involded. Anyone that thought her father would be slightly angry at first and then warm up to Harry and all would be good are fooling themselves and they don't want a story with real depth. While I don't like what happened to Daphe again it was the only thing realistically that could happen. Now the only thing that would put me off the story is if Harry takes it laying down, which all signs point to no on that, and doesn't win the girl. Realistically, there's that word again, I don't see how he could lose, he still has the marriage contract, he is the head of two old and powerful houses, he has Longbottom house as his ally, he is the hero of the wizarding world and his opponents are some count from romania and a man who's house isn't even of noble status yet. All in all great chapter and great story and please hurry with the next part.
(#) Geovanni_Luciano 2008-06-21 08:08:59 PMOK, I'm reviewing. First off, I think that you're taking too many pages from too many fan fiction books on Marriage Law and Wizarding law. I can understand why you might find it facinating but at the same time this story, at this point is screaming some of the boredom that I've found in Dr. T's diatribe. Don't get me wrong I like the stories but the become long winded and I feel like I should be taking notes at some point because I will be tested on it later.
That being said, this is what I'm finding. Why exactly would Harry want Daphne at this point? She's fairly weak-willed. She seemed interesting initially, but at the same time, getting past that and going back to the original pictures which accompanied the marriage contract, well, she always has been in this story.
So, what does she bring to the table? Harry isn't what she thought he was but at the same time she's the constant pseudo-snarky girl in distress.
It's fairly easy to see that Harry is going to have signed the marriage contract and it will be presented at the Wizemgamot, problem solved and Daphne is now with Harry, but at the same time Harry, being the noble man he is will not do anything to her father. You will put it into her hands to destroy her father or something similar; if not immediately, eventually
The other disappointing thing was that you, for a moment, were playing Harry up to the Grangers and they seemed to hope that Harry would end up with Hermione. Who knows, you may turn this into a bigamy situation, but yoy made Justin somewhat likable. To many multi-pairing stories out there. I'm guilty of that crime as well.
I do hope that you update soon so that I can see how close I am to the mark.
Author's response- Actually I got my marriage contract notions from actual honest to god British marriage contracts from the 17 and 18 hundreds, many including what I cleaned up and presented as "Clause 9". The originals required the woman to be pregnant before the marriage could take place (ensuring 'she' wasn't barren), working from the theory that a society that allows such things wouldn't blink when they are barbarically used.
- I'm not sure where you got Daphne being weak willed from, nor the idea that she was constantly in distress. She fought against her father's contract to the Romanian as best she could, but in the end she is a child of her culture and would react accordingly.
- What does she bring to the table? I don't know, what does anyone bring to the table? The heart wants what the heart wants, and it doesn't always make the 'best' decisions...
- A lot of people seem to think that Harry could just stroll into the Wizengamot chambers and sign the now 5 month old contract and it would supersede the new one already agreed to by the Elder Greengrass and the Romanian...
- Daphne will not be 'dealing' with her father.
- The Grangers like Harry, and didn't like Ron. Martin was joking with Eve when he said that if Justin turned out to be as condescending as Ron he would force Hermione to date Harry. My own daughter has a friend who comes around occasionally, and I really like the kid, unlike the walking puddles of pond scum that she actually dates. I would much prefer she date her friend... Of course if they were to actually start dating I probably would learn to not like him... With Justin, I was looking for someone who would be a better match for Hermione.
- Bah this is all humbug. This story is going down hill and what the hell is the go with placing Hermione and that stuck up Justin together. I would rather it be Ron or most importantly HARRY that gets with Hermione. Anyone else just makes the story go down hill. Two thumbs down to you.
- I was curious to see wht other reviewers thought, and I'm glad I wasn't the only person annoyed. I'm curious as to why you think you shouldn't have negative reviews?
After all, this is your response to my post for the previous chapter where I pleaded for Daphne to be returned to him unharmed..
I'm particularly interested in how you can "promise" no more sexual abuse, then do it in the very next chapter.
- Not that much seer blood. Given Harry's life, predicting that everything would go to crap is a lot like predicting that it will get dark at night...
- No potions...
- It won't be a multi. The Daphne/Tracey conversation was just teasing
- No more sexual abuse (unless both parties agree before hand and have a safety word) I promise.
(#) vl100butch 2008-06-22 05:08:53 AMshake off the haters, this was an unpleasant but necessary chapter to properly set the scene for Harry to come to the rescue....you weren't graphic....sometimes real life is unpleasant....
only thing i wish is you could have a bugler sound the charge when Harry goes in.....but it's an American bugle call (and Harry probably hasn't seen a lot of older westerns.....
- Don't let the bad reviews get you down. While I also didn't care for what happened to Daph it was central to the story. You have written a great story and with the setup you had there was no way to NOT have that happen. I reread my first review and realized I came through Luke warm but after seeing some of the other reviews I wanted to let you know that I'm not luke warm about your stories. This is a great story as are most of your stories.
Keep up the great work and don't let the flamers get you down! :)
Although that type of cliffie is still evil! :)