The last of the Death Eater trials is for one of the most hated Death Eaters of the War, Pansy Parkinson. Who's crimes include murder, torture, and giving He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Ginevra Weasley. ...
- Whoa!! There's a lot to take in this first chapter, but it definitely captures the reader's attention. It certianly looks like Dumbles did a lot of manipulation here, both directly and through proxies, and I suspect it's turning back and biting the proxies big time. You've set up quite a scene and I rather expect that Pansy's trial is going to be anything but the "sure thing" the Prosecution expects.
- An excellent story. Yes, it is unpolished but it has a certain gritty feel to it. Harry isn't the knight in shining armor people think he is, but then neither is Dumbledore. There are shades of grey everywhere. Assuming Hermione has signed the contract, she will protect Harry's fortune from the ministry and perhaps use it to foster understanding. Luna will likely do the same. Despite the deplorable way Harry treated her at the 'Slug-club' she has always seemed to understand him better than anybody else...even Hermmione.
Pansy is a strange character. In cannon she's portrayed as Malfoy's pet toady. There are so very few fics where she is anything but a spoiled princess, utterly dedicated to Voldy.
Her being suicidal is not a surprise, given her environment. Her methods, however, are. She apparently wanted 'suicide by cop'. That they felt something in common with each other is also a surprise.
Harry's anger at being used by so many people, especially those he thought of as family and friends, is understandable. While his actions were less than honorable, he used far more restraint than I would have.
His letter to Hermione is more along the lines of suicide note. He intends to succeed in his rescue attempt, or die trying.
All in all, well done. I would really like to see a polished version of this fic, and any aftermath you might envision. Alorkin
(#) red_jacobson 2008-05-07 07:00:40 PMVery interesting; and; yes, you are right, it's rough and unpolished, and could really use a beta, but still interesting as hell!
Something I'm confused about, though. In the last couple of paragraphs, Harry says something about the potions and mentions the Twins and Percy, I can't tell if those three were also in on it or not. Also, what's this about taking the Malfoy fortune away from Hermione? That didn't make sense
Looing forward to the next chapters
- First a great plot and story development which means I'll read more to see how this goes.
But, the grammar misused and misspelled words, missing words all contributed to a stunting of the reading experience.
Please get a beta reader to catch all the errors cause you have talent just needs fixing up!