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Chapter 10- Heartless


Gerard's POV

“Gerard?” I heard a familiar voice say through the thick fog of my sleep, “Get up, they won’t let you stay anymore.” I felt a shove on my body and I whacked away the hands that were trying to pry me away from Coraline.

“Get up, asshole!” Frank yelled and punched me in the middle of my back.

I shot straight up and saw that all the guys, Maddie, BOTH my parents, Mr. Johnson and Coraline’s little brother Max, Joyce McLeay, and Caitlin Ross were all staring at me as I gave Frank the most horrible look I could muster up.

“Honey, it’s time to go. You need some rest that isn’t here, we have to go home sweetie.” My mom said in the most motherly way she could.

I lay back down to the dead Coraline and held on to her tightly, I told Coraline I wouldn’t leave. I promised her.

“Gerard,” I felt Joyce’s small hand caress my arm and I closed my eyes tightly. I didn’t want to hear what she would say and I hoped if I imagined she wasn’t there she would go away, “Coraline would want you to move on, and she wouldn’t like seeing you like this. It’s time for us to leave her now, come on.” She said and gave a soft tug on my hand.

“She’s right,” I heard Caitlin say quietly.

I opened my eyes and looked at Coraline, she was pale and cold. Just like every other dead thing in the world. It hurt me to see her this way. Dead. It hurt to say it. I couldn’t leave her behind and I sure as hell couldn’t imagine burying her. Just the thought of her decomposing in the ground made me shiver.

“Can we take her with us?” I said and felt small and childish.

“No,” All of them said together and it made me want to cry. I looked back into Coraline’s face and snuggled into her neck.

Then I heard the opening and closing of a door, and figured they were leaving me behind to be cleaned up like Coraline was going to be. The thought skittered along in my brain making the tears fall over and onto my cheeks. I kissed her cheek long and soft. Hoping that maybe it would revive her, but sadly my hoping wasn’t working.

“Come on,” I heard Mr. Johnson say as him and Max lifted me up and helped me out the door. I let my head hang low and didn’t both to open my eyes as we left the room and they practically drag me out of the hospital.

“I can take him if you want me too,” I heard the soft voice of Maddie say and I lifted my head up to see her opening the passenger door of her truck.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I heard Frank say and Mr. Johnson and Max stopped. (Might I add Max is one beefy kid, he is a freshman this year but is already on the Varsity Football team.)

“Why not?” Maddie asked and I stopped leaning on them and walked to Maddie’s car.

“Its fine, Frank.” I said and he gave me a worried expression. I nodded at him and he walked over to my dad’s car. He, Bob, Mikey, and my dad probably all came here together.

“Thanks,” I said and nodded at Max and Mr. Johnson who nodded back and walked over to their red charger.

“See you at home,” My mom said and kissed my cheek, she hesitated then added, “Be smart, be safe.”

I watched my mom run back to her van and new that she was probably crying like I was on the verge of.

“Do you need help getting into the car?” Maddie asked holding the door open for me.

“No,” I said and hopped in, she walked around the car and got in turning it on, “You know I am broken hearted, not handicapped.”

She gave me a painful look then buckled her seat belt and backed out of the hospital. It was an hour drive to get to Clara Maass (15 if you are driving 80 the whole way, and its 11 o’clock at night) but it felt even shorter when I drove home with Maddie.

“It hurt to watch you kiss her,” Maddie said suddenly. I looked at her and she stared back at me, I could she the pain in her eyes.

“It hurt to watch her die,” I said quietly and Maddie shuddered.

“Gerard, I think I am falling in love with you.”

”You don’t know me,” I said and the words acted like daggers because Maddie’s eyes flooded with tears that spilled over before she could stop them.

“I’m s-s-sorry she died, and I know you loved her way b-b-before-e you met m-me. But please-e, don’t treat me like this.” She said and her teeth were shattering.

“You will never replace Coraline,” I said and Maddie began to shake with her sobs.

“GERARD!” She shouted pulling over on the side of the road, “I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS ABOUT ANY OTHER PERSON BEFORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! I KNOW I WILL NEVER REPLACE CORALINE BUT WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME WITH KNOWING THAT YOU AT LEAST FELT SOMETHING TOO?” I looked into her big moss green eyes that were filled with tears and pain.

“I love Coraline, not you.”

Tears came over tears and she curled her feet up holding her legs against her chest sobbing and shaking back and forth. Maddie was really falling for me. But I still had Coraline in my heart; I still loved her and always would. There will be a hole in my heart that Maddie would never be able to fill. I don’t think anyone could ever fill that hole.

“Get out of my car,” Maddie said through sobs.

“I need a ride home though,” I said plainly and she looked up; she looked horrible. Her makeup was running and her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

“You just acted like a complete jerk, you treated me like a wadded up piece of trash and now you expect me to drive you home?!” She shrieked at me.

“Yes,” I said and she gave me a look of disgust.

“YOU ASSHOLE!” She shouted and began hitting me on the arm.

“Ow! Stop! Maddie! What the hell! Stop it!” I shouted and all her energy seemed to drain because her arms fell limp and she hunched over starting to cry again.

“Maddie,” I began.

“Shut up,” She said still crying.

“Maddie listen,” I said and she looked forward over the steering wheel, “I did feel something, but right now I can’t handle being with you, or even being around you. I love Coraline, and you can’t replace her, but even thinking about liking someone other than Coraline makes me feel guilty.”

“You didn’t feel guilty when we were making out earlier today,” She said quietly and I winced at the internal pain I felt.

“I hadn’t realized how much I loved her until now,” I said and knew it was the total truth. I hadn’t realized how much I loved Coraline until now, she was so special to me and I never stopped really loving her because we didn’t break up because the thing we had was gone. We broke up because of her parents. Not because of each other.

“Does that mean we will never be together?” Maddie asked and finally looked at me.

“I don’t know,” I said back, was I going to be able to move on?

“I suppose that’s good enough for me,” She said and wiped her face and got on the road again.

“Can you get back to my house?” I asked.

“Yeah I think so,” She said and took the right turn off the highway, “We live in the same sub, you are like five minutes away from my house if I walk.”

“Oh,” I said. I never new The De Pauw’s lived so close.

We drove in silence for a while, I watched the lights that belonged to down town Belleville get brighter as we came closer to home. Then suddenly, “I broke up with Dan,” My mouth dropped, was she lying to me?

“Really?” Was all I could manage, she couldn’t be serious.

“No, I’m lying to you,” She said sarcastically, “Of course I dumped him! I told you I thought I was falling for you and now it’s hard for you to believe I dumped my boyfriend? Jeesh what’s your deal?”

“The love of my life just died.” I said plainly and she sighed.

“Oh yeah, I forgot.”

“You forgot?!”

“For just a second!” She shouted defensively, “It’s hard for me to think about other things when I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Are you trying to hit on me? Because that sounds like something Drew would say to a girl,” I said and she blushed.

“Like I said, I think I’m falling for you.”

We pulled into my driveway and sat there for a couple minutes before I spoke, “I hate reality.”

Maddie sighed,“Yeah, me too."

“I miss her already,” I admitted and Maddie unbuckled her seat belt and crawled across the seat and sat in my lap putting her arm around my shoulders and laying my head on hers.

“I know it’s supposed to be the guy who holds the girl, but in this case it’s going to be different,” She said and I laughed.

“I wish I had more time with Coraline, I wish I could be with her again,” I paused, “I wish she wasn’t dead.”

We sat in silence for a couple minutes then Maddie said, “I didn’t think love really existed. That was until I met you, and what I saw tonight really showed me that two people can love each other forever. I think you and Coraline would be a great couple and probably even soul mates. I am really sorry you had to lose her Gerard.”

“I’m sorry I was a jerk to you,” I whispered and she laughed.

“Yeah you were, but I forgive you.” She bent her head down low to kiss me but I lifted my head away from hers and she looked disappointed but nodded.

Then she popped open the passenger door and climbed out, I followed her and we walked up to the porch together.

“Are you going to school tomorrow?” She asked me as we stood on the porch.

I looked at my watch, it was 3:35 in the morning, “No way,” I said. I was so not getting up at 6 to go to school. And it would be too painful to face Coraline’s friends.

“I don’t think I am gunna go to school either, if you need anything just call me okay?” She asked and I nodded. I took a deep breath and grabbed the door handle.

“Gerard, wait.” She said and I turned around, she was already at her truck.

“Um, what?” I asked and she looked like she was deciding what to do.

Then she sprinted towards me and launched herself on me, kissing me straight on the lips. I decided to ignore her kiss, but instead of pulling away I let her keep going so maybe she would get it out of her system and then forget about it. She began to lean up at against me holding my face in her hands, her skinny body fit perfectly into mine; just like Coraline’s had.

No. I broke away then opened the door and slammed it in her face. I ran up to my room and found my mom sleeping on my couch.

“Oh hi,” She said groggily, “I was waiting for you to get home.”

“Oh okay,” I said walking towards my bed and peeling off my sweatshirt.

“Gerard, I think we need to talk about Coraline,” My mom said softly.

“No mom, we don’t, there is nothing to talk about,” I said playing with the covers on my bed.

“Honey-“

“Go away mom,” I said interrupting her and I felt the sad look she was giving me even though I wasn’t even facing her.

“Okay, good night sweat heart,” She said walking out of my room and leaving the door cracked a tiny bit the way I always liked it.

I took off the rest of my clothes except my boxers and climbed into bed. I was really exhausted and right when my head hit the pillow I was out.


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