FicWad

hey y'all thanks for the reviews and the feedback for my casting project! i lurve y'all! oh and ficwad has been acting weird and not letting me get on ficwad at all, it's weird. like it says 'internet explorer cannot display webpage' and i swear i have tried everything. any hints on how i can fix this issue? if so please tell me here or on twitter @mo_was_here! danke schon! LURVE Y'ALl! PEACE OUT!

Chapter 40- Born For This

Gerard's POV

“Stop shrieking you’re giving me a migraine!” A loud male voice shouted as he climbed into the truck.

“Maddie, damn, you have some lungs on you!” Zo shouted as she ‘cleaned’ out her ears.

“That’s one way you could look at it, I think she was trying to deafen us,” The male said. I blinked hard trying to rid myself of the fear that was resonating in my bones.

“How did you find us Shane?” Addi asked curiously.

“Well it wasn’t too hard, there aren’t very many neighborhoods around here, this is the second one I saw,” He said with a shrug. I examined Shane with a curious eye. He seemed to be tall because his long legs stretched far in the seat and he had to bend his knee’s to fit. Shane had long dark hair that he had to keep moving out of his eyes. He had on dark jeans and a Papa Roach t-shirt on. To be perfectly honest, he seemed to be a lot like the girls. I peered back at the four girls in the back seat, they all seemed fine (unlike Maddie who was squeezing the shit out of my arm) and every one of them had an identical twinkle in their eye’s that caught my attention as they gazed at Shane. I snorted out loud and everyone stared at me, even Maddie.

“Sorry,” I muttered and looked away.

“Yeah, so I hate to take them away from you,” He said to me, “But Brian was about to piss his
pants when you called,” Shane said and he tossed his hair out of his eyes.

Addi and Mo sighed together and it took all of my good sense not to snort again.

“Right well, I’ll wait in the van for you to say good-bye,” Shane said before climbing out of the truck. I was right, Shane was tall, he was a good six feet tall. Once he was out of view Mo leapt from the back seat into the front and sniffed it.

“It still smells like him!” She announced before taking another deep breath, “God what cologne does he wear, orgasm?” She asked and Maddie giggled.

“He is so gorgeous!” Addi exclaimed from the back seat.

“Oh please you guys would never be good enough for Shane, I see the way he stares at me, it’s only a matter of time,” Zo said and Bella began laughing so hard I never knew a girl so petite as her could.

“Come on Zo, get real!” Bella gasped between her laughter.

“What makes you think he doesn’t want me? Men can never hide their secret desires,” Zo said seductively with a quick shimmy. I stiffened at her words, Maddie noticed seeing as she was still sitting in my lap. She turned and smiled at me before kissing my nose softly.

“Aw!” Addi and Mo chorused together. Maddie jumped guiltily and began blushing like crazy. I on the other hand just smiled and kissed her forehead.

“So when are you guys going to get married?” Mo asked. Instead of me stiffening it was Maddie. Marriage? Would Maddie even want to get married to me? We were really young and even though I loved her more than anyone I’ve ever loved before. (Coraline popped into my head but I pushed her away, there wasn’t anytime to ponder my feelings for my dead ex-girlfriend.) But would getting married to Maddie end this crap with Dan? I though about it for a second, I could see Maddie and I having a family together. Then the problem of Maddie’s miscarriage skittered in my brain, I had to tell her I didn’t have a choice, she would be heartbroken but I would be there for her, even if it hurt me in the process. I broke away from my own mind babble and found everyone staring at me in anticipation, I smiled before answering,

“Well we haven’t talked about it yet,” I said and Maddie’s rigged body relaxed into mine.

“I shotty an invite to this party!” Mo shouted while raising her hand in the air. Zo rolled her eyes.

“Wait a darn second! We have to get going!” Addi shouted. Mo frowned, but followed Addi and Bella out of the car. Maddie and I hopped out after them and watched as Zo and Addi entered the tan van that was now parked behind Maddie’s truck.

“We’ll see you in Belle Ville!” Bella said softly before skipping happily to the van.

“See y’all later, safe trip home alright?” Mo said as she gave Maddie and I quick hugs.

“Bye!” I shouted after them and they all waved before Shane started the van and pulled out of the driveway. I put my arm around Maddie’s shoulder as we watched the van pull away and out of the street. Once it was gone the feeling of security seemed to go with them. I sighed and pulled Maddie into a hug. I heard her begin to cry and I softly ran my fingers through her hair.

“Gerard,” She whispered into my chest.

“Yeah Sugar?” I whispered back.

“You’re crazy for wanting to be with me,” She murmured.

“I’d be crazy not to be with you,” I said back.

“I love you so much,” She said and her voice broke with a sob. I loved her so much too and I knew that she didn’t want me to because of all the shit we’ve been through, but I just couldn’t help it, she was just too beautiful, too irresistible.

“Maddie, I can’t even begin to explain how much I care for you, even if you don’t want me to, I will. I love you too incredibly much, but I don’t want to stop.”
Maddie sniffled and wiped her nose shakily before looking up at me with her beautiful green eyes.

“Gee, I don’t know what to say,” Maddie whispered and I smiled down at her.

“Sugar, just say yes,” I murmured. Maddie looked confused for a moment but when I took her hands and lowered myself onto one knee. The breath caught in her throat and realization washed over her features.

“Maddie, will you marry me?” I asked softly. Her mouth opened in shock and a fresh tear slid down her cheek. Then she closed her eyes and nodded.

“Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!” She shouted. I was so overwhelmed with joy I stood and hugged her hard, twirling around in a circle that lifted her feet off the ground.

“Gerard,” She whispered once we had stopped spinning.

“Yeah?” I said back holding on tightly to her. She smiled and reached up cupping my face in her small, warm hands that I loved so much.

“I have never ever felt this way about someone else before,” She said. Then she smiled and stood on her toes so our lips were millimeters apart. She hesitated for only a moment before pressing her soft lips to mine. Her breath came in a ragged gasp as I began kissing her back with more passion than I ever had before. It was when she took my bottom lip in her mouth that I heard the deafening crack of a bullet leaving it’s hallow and then it ripping through live flesh. Maddie took in a sharp, shaky breath and her knee’s slid from beneath her. I caught her quickly and brought her back up to a standing position. The hand that was on her back was now covered in a warm, sticky liquid. Maddie’s head bobbled a little before it hung low and her body wasn’t warm anymore, instead it was cold. I pulled my hand from her back and it was covered in crimson. The happiness that filled me was instantly replaced with pure fear.

“No,” I whispered, struggling to keep her weight up. I gently lowered her body to the ground. Her green eyes were vacant and blank; her hair seemed to have lost its bold color, “No!” I shouted louder this time, but my voice sounded foreign.

A deep scarlet puddle began forming in the grass and my soul had been torn from my chest. She couldn’t be gone, not now, not ever. The pain was filling every part of my body and I had to fight it to keep myself upright.

“No! Maddie, please! Please, no!” I shouted and the tears slid fast down my cheeks. Her skin was paling and it took my heart with it, never in my life had I experienced more pain, “NO!” I screamed in pure agony and began pulling at the hair in my head.

“Son! Son, move!” A man shouted from beside me. I couldn’t move, I had no control over my body anymore. He knocked me out of the way and lifted Maddie’s helpless body wrapping a towel around her torso.

“Sandy, grab the boy, we need to get to the hospital, now,” The man said. His voice was deep with power and a stout woman in an apron came to my side and lifted my weight up with ease. My eyelids drooped in pain as I watched him lift Maddie and her hand hung lifelessly by her side. Fat tears leaked there way out of my eyes as the woman named Sandy helped me into the back of Maddie’s truck.

I heard laughter echoing from a distance, and I gritted my teeth in pain. Maddie was dead, and her murderer was happy. Everything else was a blur, the ride to the hospital; Maddie’s small body crumpled in the front seat, the pain was now building so fast that it was taking over my body and I couldn’t move, I could barely see or hear, my brain couldn’t register anything other than she was gone.

“NO!” I shouted out again and the woman tried to shush the sobs that now rocked my whole body. I felt like I might be sick, but I was suddenly being pulled from the car.

“Quick, get her in the ER,” A high womanly voice ordered and I watched hazily as they carefully pulled Maddie onto a stretcher and ran her into the hospital.

“What about the boy, Chris?” A male voice asked.

“Take him to a private room; get him a sedative and some water. Maybe a puke pail too, the girl probably won’t live,” The woman said again and I was pushed forcefully into a wheeled chair and taken into the hospital.

My room stunk of anesthetic and cleaning supplies, a rough hand was taking a wipe across my face and hands. A small pain burned in my hand as they placed a needle for my IV in my vein. But that pain was taken over with the unbearable pain that Maddie was causing me. I took a shaky breath and laid my head down on the pillow.

“Get him a breather, John,” Another male voice said and I heard someone scuttle from the room. I opened my eyes and found two other people in the room with me, one a tall black man, and the other a short lean woman. I looked at the man and he caught my eye, he tried to smile at me, but it didn’t look right.

“Kill me,” I said. My voice was hoarse and it sounded wrong, almost ghost like.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that,” The man said in a deep African tone.

“Please,” I begged him. Maddie was my life, I didn’t want to live without her now, it would all be pointless.

“Eddie we should-“

“No,” He said rather sharply, “you can go Jessica, but I will stay.” The nurse nodded curtly before sweeping from the room.

“Change your mind?” I asked and winced from just talking. I couldn’t talk, I didn’t have a reason.

“No, I will not kill you,” The man said. He gave me a rather loathing look then walked to the window, “My wife died five years ago, I know how you feel. I begged for death the same way you did. Death never came for me.” He stared out the window with a look of sadness growing deep within his eyes. “You must keep living for her, because everyone will have trouble grieving one death. Imagine trying to grieve two.” And with that he walked strongly from the room.

I have had to mourn for two of my loved ones, I thought and I began crying.

I cried for an hour, one true hour of drowning in my own sorrows. My whole body would ache with the pain of a thousand thorns being pushed into my heart; I could never get over this feeling. I was a shell for a soul that had left me when she did. My phone rang more than ten times during the whole hour, and once I had stopped the angry tears that were still stinging in my eyes, I created enough strength to reach into my stale pocket and pull out the small device. I opened it and with no shock all the calls had been from Caitlin. Even though I had developed a small amount of courage there was no way I could stand talking right now. I texted Caitlin with cold, slow fingers.

At the ER, been here 4 a while. Probably won’t leave.

I pressed the ‘send’ button and closed the phone. Just the movement of my own fingers had drained the very little amount of energy I had left. I wanted Maddie so badly right now; my pain was too large, too unbearable. Within seconds my phone was buzzing with a text from Caitlin.

We r leaving right now. What happened?

Tears formed in my eyes and I blinked several times before responding.

L8r.

I sent her the text and quickly turned the phone off before she could freak out and call me.
Sometime during that previous hour a nurse had come in a put a breathing tube in my nose, it helped a lot considering the suffering had caused me to stop breathing on my own every once and a while. But that was what I wanted, to stop breathing, to die. I didn’t want to live in a world where Maddie was dead and I wasn’t. My misery wasn’t going away, I felt completely empty without her.

“Gerard!” Caitlin shrieked as she ran in the room and flung herself on me, “Dear god what’s happened to you?” She asked her eyes full of concern. I tried to swallow the lump that had grown in my throat, but was unable to speak. “You look terrible,” She whispered.

“Where is Maddie?” Ray asked. Her name tortured me and tears erupted from my eyes before I had the chance to stop them.

“Dead!” I sputtered and snot flew from my nose. The look on their faces just added to my anxiety. I clutched my head with my hands and sobbed into them. The anguish of losing her was too much.

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BTW i took up a new kind of format out of request from one of my readers.
COUGH AMY REVENGE COUGH (: