Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Never Say Never

Chapter 41- It Takes Two

by Mo_Was_Here 8 reviews

Then a thought came to me, was I dead?

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Published: 2009-11-27 - Updated: 2009-11-27 - 2308 words - Complete

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Chapter- It Takes Two

Maddie’s POV

I lay facedown on a hard, cool surface. Everything was silent and I was perfectly alone. Gerard wasn’t with me, no one else was here. I wasn’t even completely sure I was there. I figured that I had to be alive, or something of a being, because I could feel. I could feel the coolness of the hard ground pressing all of my body. That was when I realized I was naked. I opened my eyes and discovered my body looked the same, maybe my skin was glowing a bit brighter than usual, but my appearance was the same of that before I had died.

Then a thought came to me, was I dead? I stared around the room that was filled with a smooth white vapor, something of a mist. Everything was white, including the chairs and the stage and the statue of a man in a robe holding his hands to the sky. I gathered myself enough and stood carefully.

I stared at the stage and realized a person lay there, I didn’t jump in surprise (although I was thoroughly shocked) I just wished I was clothed.

Then as quickly as I had thought it clothes had appeared in a chair not far from me. I walked to them and pulled on the warm, comfy sweat pants and hoodie. That was when I realized they were Gerard’s. On instinct I lifted the corner of the hoodie to my nose and inhaled his scent deeply. He smelt so amazing. I pulled them on without hesitation, but felt a pang in my heart as I wondered where Gerard was.

I stared at the stage again and the person was still lying there, I walked slowly towards it and discovered whomever was on the stage wasn’t breathing.

“Oh my god!” I said aloud as I ran towards the stage. My voice echoed loudly in the room and I took a glance upward and saw a high dome-like ceiling, where the hell was I? The thought left my brain as I jumped on the stage and reached the limp body laying on it.

It was a girl. She was a breathtaking kind of beautiful, her hair was a soft brown and it fell in waves to her shoulders. She was thin like I was and almost the same height. I knelt beside her and put my fingers on her carotid artery. There was no pulse.

“You cannot save her,” A voice said from behind me. I jumped away from the girl and turned to find the owner of the voice.

A tall man with grey hair stood a couple yards or so behind me. He looked concerned and scared. Everything was confusing me; was I dead? Where was I? Who are these people? When would I see Gerard again?

“You aren’t dead,” The man said and I jumped again, “You are simply between the worlds.” He said and he gazed upon the statue of the man in robes.

“Between the worlds? What does that mean?” I asked in bewilderment. None of this was making sense.

“You my dear are in the train station of life,” The man said as he walked to the side of the stage and down the small stairs. He then proceeded to walk farther and farther away until he reached two identical doors. He stopped and turned to face me, “Come,” He demanded and my feet began to follow him. I tried to stop, to turn in a different direction, but my feet carried me like they had a mind of their own.

“Stop it!” I panicked and wriggled trying to turn away.

“Dear child, don’t worry, you cannot be hurt here,” The man said and I was now just feet away from him. I reached the doors too and the panic that engulfed me just seconds earlier disappeared.

“You see these two doors,” He said gesturing to the identical white doors he stood in front of.
I nodded and he proceeded, “They are two pathways. One is for life, the other death.”

“I thought I was dead,” I said and the man chuckled.

“No, no, I do believe I said you were between the worlds,” The man said wisely and I nodded again.

“So why are you showing me this?” I asked and he turned away from me to the doors.

“Because you have a choice, free will is what he calls it,” The man said.

“I get to choose whether or not I want to live or die?” I asked and the man nodded.

“Yes, God does not take a life without the intention of giving one their own way,” The man said wisely.

“So I can go back?” I asked.

“Yes I suppose you could, if you wanted too,” He said. Then he turned to the door that had the words
Life embossed in gold and opened it. The door swung open and it was dark navy blue, he nodded for me to enter. So I walked hesitantly towards the door.

“Aren’t you coming?” I asked once I had taken a step inside.

“Only you can see what you’re life will be like,” He said and the door slowly closed. I was suddenly very afraid. The room was almost completely dark, but something like little golden stars lit up the ceiling I stared around waiting for something to happen, for someone to come towards me. Then Gerard’s voice echoed in the room.

“She’s gone!” He shouted his voice was filled with pain and it broke my heart just listening to him. The whole room dissolved around me and I was standing in a hospital room. Ray and Caitlin were watching the scene from chairs pushed against the wall, both of them looked like they had been crying.

“No, she’s not, we’ve saved her. She needs you; she is just hanging by a thread. She needs faith,” The woman who had tried to save me before I passed out was holding Gerard by the shoulders as he wept horrible sobs.

I tried to speak, but my vocal chords weren’t cooperating, I wanted to shout and let him know I was there, I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, and to say I was alright. I tried to move, but my feet felt unattached to my body. I wanted to run to him and hold onto him, I wanted to comfort him while he cried.

“Please, take me away, I want to die!” He shouted in agony. He fell to the floor crumpling in a broken, sobbing heap.

“She’s still alive!” The woman shouted. A black man appeared in the room with a wheeled chair and he hoisted Gerard into it before taking him from the room. I involuntarily floated along behind them as the passed through doors and doors until they reached a small room.

“NO!” Gerard screamed and he tried to run, but the man caught him by the wrist and spun him back. He forced him back into the wheeled chair and made him stare at the pale body on the operating table. “DON’T MAKE ME LOOK AT HER! SHE’S GONE! PLEASE! IT HURTS!” He shouted in torment. Tears were streaming down his beautiful face and I began crying myself, I never wanted this to happen. He was in so much pain he couldn’t even believe I was alive. I didn’t want a life like this. I didn’t want it.

I couldn’t handle the scene I was watching, it was depressing me and making me feel horrible.

“I want to leave,” I whispered and a tear dripped from my nose. The white door appeared not a foot away and I quickly opened it. Once I was back into the large white room I closed it and leaned my back against it, letting the tears fall.

“Do you need a moment?” The man asked softly. I nodded and cried myself out. I quickly wiped my eyes and tried to smile at the man, but my face muscles were stiff and unused.

He moved to the other door that had the words
Death written in black jagged letters across it. He opened the door and stepped backwards, “Whenever you’re ready,” He said with a warm smile. I nodded again but the action felt jerky. I stepped into the room and this time it was completely black, the ceiling didn’t hold little stars of hope.

Then just like the before the room dissolved around me and I was in the same hospital room. Gerard was sleeping peacefully on his bed, his face was blotchy red and his hair was messy and tangled. Caitlin, Ray, Mikey, Joyce, Frank, Jamia, Bob, Molly, Mo Morgue, Addi Sin, Zo Chaos, Bella Beloved, and my dad were all sitting in uncomfortable plastic hospital chairs around the room. They all shared the same look of sadness in their faces, even though some were asleep.

Then the same nurse from the other life walked into the room with a clipboard, all of them were instantly attentive and someone had woken Gerard up.

She cleared her throat loudly and gave a small wearily smile, “Madison Anne De Pauw was announced dead at six-thirty this afternoon.” She said. I glanced at the clock, it was almost seven.

Gerard and Joyce passed out at the same time. The nurse rushed to Gerard and the tall black man ran to Joyce. My father was now sobbing loudly and muttering words that were indefinable. Caitlin had her hand clasped to her mouth as she wept, Ray was rubbing her back soothingly and he looked like he might throw up. Frank was holding Jamia and they were both crying. Bob was helping the other nurse take care of Joyce as she began to come around. Molly was biting her lip and holding her sides. Zero to Sixty all had the same facial expression; it was a mixture of pain and uncertainty. They were all standing and didn’t seem to know what to do. Mikey was at Gerard’s side holding onto his hand that didn’t have an IV in it.

Right then my mother came running in the room gasping for breath. She took one look at everyone crying and broke down. She fell to her knees and began sobbing and shaking.

I hated seeing everyone in so much pain. I had caused all this pain, I didn’t want that! But what God was showing me was that there would be pain both ways. I would either hurt Gerard or hurt everyone I loved. I didn’t want to do either. I just wanted this all to go away! I wanted to be me again! I wanted to be with Gerard and not have to worry about Dan, I wanted to be alive and happy and healthy! I was so done with being paranoid about Dan coming around every corner and shoving a pistol down my throat! I was so done with all of this! I didn’t want to make any decisions I wanted to have my life back the way it should be!

“I’VE HAD ENOUGH!” I shouted and the room went black almost instantly. The white door appeared beside me and I angrily opened it and stormed out.

I walked quickly to the closest chair and took a seat heavily in it.

“Being dead harder than you thought?” A girl asked. I looked up and the girl who had been lying on the stage stood in front of me. My brows furrowed in confusion and I looked away.

“I’m not dead yet,” I muttered angrily, “I’m ‘between the worlds’.” I rolled my eyes and the girl took the seat beside me.

“Yeah I guess my choice was easier than yours,” She said and she crossed her arms. I cocked an eyebrow at her.

“What do you mean?” I asked angrily.

“Don’t bite my head off now,” She said raising her hands in fake defense, “But I was already dead, coming back to life would cause a lot of confusion and grief.”

“Lucky you,” I mumbled and crossed my arms tightly across my chest.

“Don’t know what you’re going to choose yet, eh?” She asked softly.

“How should I?! This is one of the hardest decisions ever!” I shouted throwing my hands in the air.

“It may be, or it’s one of the easiest.” She said and I rolled my eyes in frustration, “You just got to look at it in different ways.” She said with a shrug.

“Okay I’ll try that,” I mumbled darkly and she chuckled, “What?!” I spat at her.

“Nothing, it’s just you have all the time in the world to decide, so it just adds irony to the saying take your time,” And with that she stood and walked gracefully away. I watched her as she left and I thought to myself how strange it was that someone would wear UGG boots in the summer.

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A/N: OKAY SO. before y'all go haywire on my ass let me explain. Maddie isnt dead, well completely. At the time being she is undergoing massive surgery to try and save her life, but Gerard thinks that he knows she's dead. SO she is in like the inbetween i guess you could call it. God has decided to give her her own choice, so she can decide whether she wants to live or die. If it still doesn't make sense. twitter me or review and i will explain in further detail.
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