Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Never Say Never

Chapter 45- Puzzle Pieces

by Mo_Was_Here 3 reviews

What if God was one of us?

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2009-12-08 - Updated: 2009-12-08 - 1777 words - Complete

Chapter 45- Puzzle Pieces

Gerard's POV

It took me nearly a half hour to talk Mikey into taking me home until he finally caved. No one really talked as we waited for my release forms and everything that needed to be filled out. I realized while we were waiting that I hadn’t stopped shaking since I found out Maddie had passed. I wasn’t shaking violently; I was shaking like I was really cold. It was strange because my shaking didn’t seem to come from my outside body heat, it was coming from deep inside me where I felt cold and empty and extremely bitter.

Once we got the forms and I filled them out with my barely legible handwriting (that Caitlin kept scolding me about) I stood too quickly and had to sit back down because me head had begun to spin. Mikey was telling me I should try not to move to quickly and just take it easy. I ignored him; I wanted to get out of here right now. I stood again and ignored the lightheadedness it caused me, I took one trembling step and Mikey called a nurse to bring us a wheeled chair. Once the nurse arrived Mikey forced me into it and began slowly pushing me out of the room. It felt like he was moving as slow as a snail as we passed door after door of patients. Nurses would scuttle by paying no attention whatsoever to us, and every once in a while I could hear people crying. No doubt Joyce was the one who kept sniffling. The whole scene was driving me mad.

“Mikey can you hurry the fuck up?” I spat angrily and my voice cracked. I hadn’t spoken much lately and my vocal chords felt raw and unused, like I had strep throat. Maybe I was coming down with something. Okay that was a lie; I knew this was all because I missed Maddie so damn much. I just wish I could be near her one last time, feel her soft skin, hear her adorable giggle, bath in her endless beauty.

“I can’t start running with a wheeled chair in a hospital, Gee,” Mikey said softly and I was sure he was shaking his head at my ‘foolishness’. We reached the main emergency care doors, there were a couple people searching around files at the front desk and didn’t even look up at us as we just looked at the two doors that led directly to the ER. I didn’t speak as Frank, Joyce, Jamia, Bob, and Ray all left along with Zero to Sixty.

I just stared at the blank swinging doors. Mikey, Caitlin, and I stared at that door for a long time. I could hear Caitlin crying softly behind me and I knew Mikey was on the verge of tears too. I didn’t feel anything other than empty. No tears would come to my eyes; my body didn’t hold any energy. I sat in my wheeled chair and gazed at the door missing Maddie more than I had ever missed someone before in my life. The pain that was so excruciating seemed to have left and was replaced with nothingness, I was a hollowed out shell with no heart and no meaning.
Once Caitlin had managed to stop crying she carefully pushed me towards the mechanical doors, Mikey’s broken sad voice stopped us both.

“I’ll be only a second,” He whispered. I turned around in my chair and I saw him walk towards the door, his shoulders were hunched over and his body shook with sobs. He tried to cover his face with his hands as he stood just inches from the doors. The sight of my younger brother crying depressed me and I felt a bit more alive as tears stung my eyes, I let them fall there was no point of hiding anything.

Then Mikey slammed his fists against the doors and shouted, “God dammit! She didn’t do anything wrong!” Then he sunk to one knee and began bawling his eyes out. I wanted to go to Mikey and comfort him, but I couldn’t move, my body wouldn’t let me. Caitlin surprised me when she pushed us more towards the doors to the outside world. Suddenly I became very frightened and I realized I didn’t want to leave the hospital at all. I wanted to stay here because when I left I would have to deal with all the consequences that this has caused me. I would have to go back to my house and clear out all of her things from my closet. The hardest part of this would be leaving, and I didn’t want to have to deal with even more pain.

I put my hands on the wheels and Caitlin stopped moving. I listened carefully to Mikey’s poor cries and several nurses tried to help him up, but he refused and just sat on the floor. Caitlin moved the wheeled chair so I was next to a chair and she took it. She sat heavily and rubbed her temples.

“Gerard, I never hated Maddie, she was always my best friend. But I realize I cared so much more for you that I would do anything to keep you from hurting. I knew how much losing Coral hurt you,” I flinched, “And I didn’t want to see it happen again. But now that Maddie’s gone, everything’s ten times worse. It pains me to see this kill you.” Caitlin whispered softly. I loved Caitlin like a sister, and her telling me this made me want to kiss her. I always knew Caitlin would be someone I could depend on when things were really hard, and here she was fulfilling her title as one of my best friends.

“Thanks,” I tried to say this louder than a mumble, but I don’t think it worked. Caitlin just gave me a small smile and rubbed my arm in a soothing circular motion. We sat there silently and watched Mikey cry, One of Us came onto the radio that was sitting on the small desk where a stout nurse was now scrimmaging through a mass pile of papers. I listened to the lyrics and the mellow tune and I soon realized that I was crying.

“Caitlin, why is it always the good people that die?” I whispered as a tear lid off my chin and landed gently on my lap. It took her a moment before she answered.

“I believe it’s so God doesn’t get lonely in heaven,” She responded. I thought about her words, that seemed selfish to me. Then Caitlin carefully wiped off my cheeks with her soft hands. I nodded a thank you to her. Then Mikey slowly rose from the floor, but he still stood there, rubbing his eyes with his thumbs.

“That’s selfish,” I mumbled. Caitlin smiled softly at me and took my hand in hers; she traced her fingers across my veins making the hairs stand on end.

“Maybe, but everyone is a sinner, so we have no room to talk.” I never really realized how smart Caitlin was. She sounded very wise. I admired that too. Caitlin was also very strong, she held herself with dignity and modesty and I could understand why Ray liked her so much. Caitlin was a really good person and I was glad she was my best friend.

Caitlin and I sat there watching Mikey weep and listening to Joan Osborne for a while. It seemed to bring peace into mind. I was still hurting immensely, but it had taken a small piece of the pain away. Like I was a puzzle that needed to be put back together, one of the pieces out of the 100 set had been placed on the table, now there was only 99 pieces left to go.

“Gerard, maybe we should get the car ready for Mikey so that way he won’t have to walk very far,” Caitlin murmured. I took my attention away from my crying brother to Caitlin. I nodded slowly. I knew I couldn’t stay here forever, and as much as I didn’t want to leave to face the world I had to sometime and I might as well get it over with.

Caitlin stood up slowly and took a hold of my wheeled chair; she gave it a small push before leading me towards the mechanical doors, they began to slide open and my fear came right back and with full force. I didn’t want to leave, I knew I had to, but I really didn’t want to. I started squirming in my chair uncomfortably, we were about to hit the plastic rug when I shouted.

“No!” Caitlin stopped immediately.

“What is it?” She asked as she came to the side of my chair and knelt down beside me. She looked worried and I tried to regulate my breathing that had become panicked and uneven. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat before I spoke again.

“Maybe we should wait,” I said nervously licking my lips. Caitlin furrowed her brows in confusion.

“Are you sure?” She asked.

“Yeah I’m pretty positive,” I said. She gave me one last baffled look before standing up again. I breathed out a sigh of relief as she backed me up into the small area again.
Then Caitlin’s phone let out a small beep. She took it from her pocket and opened it; she read it slowly before handing it to me. I took it from her and gave her a questioning gaze.

“I do believe it’s Frank,” She said softly.

I looked down at the small phone in my hand and read the bright blue letters that were glowing in my face.

Message from: Frank The Super Awesome Person

I rolled my eyes at his entry name.

Hey. Idk if this will make u feel btr but Dan was just arrested for first degree murder and underage drinking.

Serves that son of a bitch right. He should stay in jail for the rest of his god damn life. I flipped the phone closed and gave it back to Caitlin. She didn’t ask any questions, she just slid it right back into her pocket.

A/N: Yes I am aware of how short this is and how it seems like it isn't finished, but it's that way for a reason and once you read the next chapter you'll understand why. Thanks for reading. LURVE Y'ALL!
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