FicWad

Chapter 47- Open Your Eyes

Madison's POV

I let out a squeak of happiness and I quickly let go of Mikey and ran to Gerard, I collapsed in his arms and he shakily held me up. I hugged him tight around his waist, taking in a deep breath of his intoxicating smell. I sighed and leaned into him, his arms slowly wrapped around me. When I let go he was smiling widely at me.

“Hey beautiful,” He said softly as he brushed a strand of my hair from my face. I giggled and leaned into his smooth palm that lingered on my cheek. He looked so happy; I let out a sigh of relief and licked my lips nervously trying to think of something to say that wasn’t totally lame.

“Hi,” I said back quietly. He smiled again and gave me another warm hug; I melted into his chest loving how perfectly I fit into his strong arms. Once he pulled away slowly he laced his fingers through mine.

“So do you want to explain how I got to heaven?” He asked. Immediately my brows furrowed in confusion.

“What do you mean?” I asked bemusedly.

He smiled weakly and pulled me close so that my chin was resting against his chest, “Sugar, the only heaven I have is with you,” He murmured looking down at me with his beautiful eyes. My stomach was about to explode with butterflies as he said it, and I let out a small giggle.

“Gee, you’re not in heaven, I’m here with you,” I clarified poking his chest a little trying to get my point across. He gave me a small crooked smile and bit his bottom lip. My heart skipped a beat almost literally and I felt weak again. Gerard noticed and his muscles tightened, getting a better grip to hold me.

“Now how did that happen?” He asked a look of amusement in his eyes. I couldn’t help smiling, but I rolled my eyes at him.

“Gee, I wasn’t going to leave you,” I said softly. He smiled widely at my response and gave my hips a small squeeze. I then noticed his smile began fading and his features slumped.

He looked away from me then mumbled, “But you did, you did leave me. I was so worried, so depressed. The pain-“ He shuddered, “was unbearable. You did leave me, Maddie, you did.”
I lifted my hand that had been lying on his chest and softly lifted his chin so I could look into his eyes, “I didn’t want to leave you, it was horrible for me too, I didn’t want to have to be without you. That’s why I’m here, I’m here for you Gerard, and only you.” I said softly. His eyes twinkled a little bit and he smiled meekly at me. I returned it and laid my head down on his chest, enjoying the wonderful sensation his touch brought me.

I could hear the gentle beats of his heart; it was such a comforting noise. “I love you, Maddie,” He murmured. I grinned and closed my eyes, taking in a deep soothing breath.

“I love you too, Gerard.”

“Group hug!” Mikey exclaimed from somewhere behind us. I giggled and lifted my head off of Gerard’s chest just in time to see Mikey running over and wrapping his arms around Gerard and I. We all laughed and Caitlin (who I sort of forgot was still there) joined in.

“Mikey, you’re such a moment killer,” Caitlin said we started laughing again as Mikey feigned hurt.

“I am not!” He shouted as he broke away to put a dramatic hand on his hip. Gerard shook his head at him.

“You so are,” I said Mikey pouted crossing his arms tightly on his chest and stamping his feet like a three year old. Gerard chuckled and I giggled into his chest.

Then Marie came charging through the doors with several others on her heel, she took one look at me and Gerard then stomped angrily over to us. Gerard tightened his grip around me and he shifted us so his back was angled to Marie.

“What are you doing?” Marie asked angrily. Another nurse showed up beside her with a wheeled chair. I whimpered into Gerard’s chest as Marie reached a hand out towards me. He stiffened immediately when Marie’s hand touched my arm. Then he let go of me and turned to her, I wobbled a little bit and Mikey put his hand under my elbow to support me.

“You are not taking her away from me again,” Gerard flat out stated. His tone of voice seemed so menacing even Marie seemed to back away for a moment then she straightened her back and lifted her chin.

“She just came out of massive surgery, you might want to let us take her or something might go wrong,” Gerard fidgeted nervously and he looked over his shoulder at me. His eyes were pleading and it hurt my heart seeing him look so vulnerable, but I was his weak spot and I knew it.

“Can he come with me?” I asked quietly. Marie’s head snapped to me and I jumped a little, Mikey slid his arm around my waist to make sure I didn’t fall. Marie looked uncertain and she kept shifting her gaze from Gerard to me and then to the wheeled chair (which now looked very tempting because my body still hurt and I felt like I was going to collapse if it weren’t for Mikey).

“Please,” Gerard whispered. Marie let out a sigh and slumped her shoulders. I took that as a good sign.

“Fine,” She said and she pushed the wheeled chair towards me. Gerard instantly took Mikey’s place at my side and helped me into a small smile on his lips. I watched him as he slowly got me into the chair. I caught his gaze and smiled at him, he was only a couple inches away, I leaned towards him and then – he began pushing me after Marie.

“Hey!” I pouted turning around to face him, but I winced and turned forwards again because the wound in my back shot with pain.

“Don’t hurt yourself, Sugar,” He whispered in my ear as we took the opposite corridor and walked down to a room that had been prepared for me. I pouted again and crossed my arms turning my head away from him when he and Mikey hoisted me up and put me in the new hospital bed. He chuckled at me and I let out a sigh of frustration.

“What’s she pouting about?” Mikey asked quietly, I sunk lower under the sheets and they both laughed.

“I wouldn’t kiss her,” Gerard said and I sank so low my sheets came up to my nose. Gerard chuckled again and he slowly got into the bed next to me. He lay on his side and he wrapped his arm around my stomach, I turned my head away from him and he chuckled lightly in my ear. “You can’t avoid me forever, we’re engaged remember,” He said quietly into my ear, his breath tickled the hair on my neck and I shivered, a thousand Goosebumps covering my skin. He laughed again.

“I haven’t forgotten,” I mumbled darkly, still avoiding his eyes. Then he pressed his lips lightly to the skin under my ear. My eyes flickered shut and I moved my head sideways so he had more space. I felt him smile against my skin as he softly nibbled at it; I shuddered and bit my lip.

“Would you two stop it?!” Mikey exclaimed. I jumped in surprise; I totally had forgotten that there were other people in the room.

"Moment killer," Caitlin said softly in a sing-song way. I giggled and Mikey stamped his feet again.

“Go away Mikey,” Gerard mumbled against my neck as he continued kissing and sucking on it. I giggled a little bit and gave him a soft, playful poke in his chest hoping that he would stop. He ignored me.

“Gee they have to get an IV in her,” Mikey said tauntingly. Immediately Gerard tensed and slowly pulled his lips from my neck. Mikey smirked at Gerard and Gerard scowled at him. I giggled at them both, but the nurse came over and began wiping my arm clean. I whimpered and turned my head into Gerard’s chest. He laid his head on mine and whispered soothing words in my ear.

“Just don’t look at it… you’ll be fine… I’m right here…” I relaxed in his arms and jumped slightly when the needle penetrated my skin. Soon enough it was over and both Gerard and I were breathing heavily.

“Do you feel faint?” The nurse asked me.

“Yes,” We both responded. Mikey began laughing, but covered it with a loud cough that he excused himself into the hallway to take care of. I rolled my eyes at him and leaned back into Gerard.

The nurse placed cool towels on our foreheads and told us to breathe deeply, when she walked out of the room Caitlin followed and smiled widely at me before softly closing the door.

“I still can’t believe you’re alive,” Gerard whispered to me softly. I sighed and nuzzled myself into his neck.

“Me either,” I mumbled kissing his neck softly.

“It’s like this is a dream, and when I wake up you’ll be gone,” He said. I kissed his neck softly once more before slowly batting my eyelashes against his skin, giving him butterfly kisses.

“There is a difference between dreams and reality. You can only feel emotions in dreams, in reality you feel everything. Every touch, every movement, every heart beat,” I said tracing a finger down his chest and over his heart where I twirled my finger in circles.

“What if this is just a really good dream,” He whispered. I smiled and wondered if he had other dreams about me.

“If it was a dream everything would go the way you wanted,” I said back and he smiled before kissing my nose lightly.

“Oh really?” He asked opening his eyes and looking down into mine. I couldn’t breathe so I just nodded slowly. He smiled crookedly before leaning his head down to mine. On instinct I moved closer to him, and then before our lips met I hesitated and pulled away. I mentally smacked myself because I wanted to kiss him so badly. “So this isn’t a dream?”

“I told you it wasn’t,” I said softly. He smiled again and closed his eyes. He looked sort of pained as he slowly leaned away from me. I frowned and curled closer into his side. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t want to kiss you.” I whispered softly to him.

“Then why didn’t you?” He asked and he ran a hand through my hair. I closed my eyes at his touch, loving how gently he worked out the knots.

“To prove you weren’t dreaming,” I said softly. He stopped his hand on my cheeks and gently rubbed his thumb along my jaw line in a circular motion.

“Tell me what happened, I want to know exactly what happened,” He whispered, still concentrating on softly touching my face. I didn’t know exactly how to put what happened into words. It wasn’t going to be easy and it would sound like a bunch of bullshit, but he wanted to know and I would do anything he asked me to.

“Well, god gave me two choices, I could die or I could live. He showed me what would happen either way, and I hated them both.”

“So you chose to die?”

“You seemed to accept that I was dead.”

“I was so sure, I could feel it in my stomach. You have to understand.”

“You don’t need to explain, Gee, I do understand. Anyways at first I thought that it would be less painful for you and then I realized I didn’t want to have to be in heaven without you because it wouldn’t be heaven at all. So I changed my mind and wanted to live.”

“But you had already died? How does that work?”

“I don’t know, I just saw heaven and I got scared, I backed away and then I started feeling pain. At first it was just annoying then after a while it hurt really badly. And then when I started to hear voices from actual living people, I thought of making it back to you and I did.”

“I’m glad you came back too, I couldn’t function properly without you, I was so messed up.”
I sighed. I felt terrible that Gerard felt like crap because I had died momentarily. I felt horrible hurting him like I always did. Maybe being engaged with him was a bad idea, maybe me being with him was a bad idea. Maybe I should have died.

“Gee,” I said softly, trying to voice my thoughts, but it broke my heart thinking about them.

“Yeah, Sugar?”

“Gee, maybe we should, I mean shouldn’t – erm-“

“Spit it out Madison.”

“Uh oh, I’m in trouble now, you used my full name.” I giggled as he smirked at me and gave me a devilish smile before saying,

“Yes you are and if you don’t say what’s on your mind I might tickle you until you’re begging for mercy.”

I pouted, but not playfully and looked away from his eyes, “You won’t like it.”

“Hey,” He said catching my chin in his palm and gently moving it so I was looking into his eyes. “I love anything you say. Watching and listening to you is the only drug I need.”

Oh shit, here comes the word vomit. “I don’t think we should get married.”

“Okay, everything except that.” I tore my chin from his hand and looked down the bed at our feet. I saw the disappointed look in his eyes, he looked so hurt. “Maddie, Sugar, we don’t have to get married right this instant. I was planning on waiting a while.” He said softly.

“Gee, I hurt you to much. I’m not good enough for you. We shouldn’t get married at all because I’m – I’m bad news.”

“Maddie, you have never once hurt me.”

“What?” I asked taking my gaze from my feet to look up back at his face. He smiled simply at me.

“I love you so much, that I’m blinded by that love, so I don’t feel the pain.”

“What about when I died?” That felt weird saying out loud.

“You didn’t hurt me; your loss was hurting me. It wasn’t your fault you died, Maddie. I want you to understand that no matter what happens, you’ll never be able to hurt me or lose me because I love you. And that’s all that matters.”

“I love you too,” Was all I could manage. Yes, I was all choked up because he had just professed his undying love for me. And yes, I was ready to faint. (And no it wasn’t because I was feeling ill.)

“You know what?” He said pulling away from me slowly.

“What?” I asked. He smiled simply and kissed my nose quickly before reaching to his hand and pulling off his class ring. He held it in front of his face and twirled it around in his fingers before taking my hand from his hip and slowly slipping it onto my ring finger.

“Now it’s official,” He said triumphantly. I looked down at his ring on my finger, it was loose because my hands were smaller than his, but it was the most perfect engagement ring I had ever seen in my entire life.

“No, it’s not official,” I said. His smile was now a frown and I couldn’t help but giggle. I put my hand on his cheek and leaned in closer to him, lightly placing my lips against his.
I pulled away slowly with a smile on my face. He blinked a few times then lifted his hand to his lips, a small smile slid onto his face. He looked up at me then pulled me back into him connecting his lips to mine. I couldn’t help but sigh into his mouth; I had missed his kisses so much. I melted into his arms instantly and he kissed me tenderly, his lips were so soft and warm.

He pulled away slower than ever, I contemplated on whimpering considering I wanted to kiss him for the rest of my life now. He pressed his forehead to mine and smiled at me, giving me a small peck before saying,

“So now is it official?”

“Yes,” I said softly. He smirked at me giving me another slow tender kiss.

“I can’t wait until you’re Mrs. Gerard Way,” He murmured to me.

“And why is that?” I asked back.

“Because that way, you’ll be mine forever.”

“Gee,” I said cupping his face in my hands, he smiled at me. God I wanted to kiss that smile. “I think I always was yours.”



The End for now.
Catch the sequel Heaven Forbid starting January 20th, 2010.

Just kidding I lied, I am going to write an epilogue also so technically this isn't the exact end of this story. so stay tuned (wtf?) for that.