FicWad

Categories > Books > Harry Potter > JEDI POTTER

Reviews

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Wonderbee31 2011-05-03

  Wow, an intense chapter, so, to start off: Loved how you had Tom meet his end, with no great battle, but basically a whimper, though really, it was basically like putting down a rabid dog at the end that had calmed down enough to let you get close enough to kill it quick. Next, Ron...I sort of did see this coming, much like a train/plain/gas main wreck(Think Calvin and Hobbes) and I felt much worse for Luna, as she seemed to have been very much in love, though she "knew" that things wouldn't work out. I have to wonder if she and the baby will be accepted by Mollywobbles or not, and if not, if Harry will be with her to help raise it? You know, it was weird to see Tracey as one of the DE's, as she usually gets put aside as a neutral, but in it's own way, really cool, and would imagine that she'd likely be one of the more competent ones of them. Enjoyed how Rita got in there, as well as Harry and his coolness in the face of doom. That and his talk at the start with Mac and Hermione, and Judith there, made me really feel the family dynamic that's been building here. As for Albus, well, to me the man is truly mad, but I still feel less sympathy for him than for Tom, and will wonder how long he'll live now that his magic is suppressed so much? Wonderful storytelling, and can't wait to see the next part, with all the fallout from this in it, and if it will mean that Harry might decide to walk away from Britain or not?

  Author's response

  Heya Wonderbee!
  
  I suppose nobody ever told him: "If you don't know what it is...don't play with it!"
  
  I like the mad-dog reference. (My thoughts keep going back to 'To Kill A Mockingbird'.
  
  Ron: I left enough hints for those who wanted them and a few people guessed what I was going to do. It was still difficult to kill off Harry's first friend.
  
  Luna: Luna took an interesting mindset. She saw what was going to happen...maybe not in detail, but enough to know Ron was going to die, so she took the necessary steps to ensure his legacy, as it were.
  
  Mollywobbles: I cannot see Molly rejecting any child. Ron is the baby's father and Luna has been a friend for years. She was almost family anyway. Instead, she'll spoil the baby and he and the Potter's children will grow up together.
  
  Tracy: Is one of the unused characters in canon, much like Padma or Anthony. You know they're there, but they sorta sink into the background. Here, I've set her up back in August, where Harry approached her, only to learn she not only agreed with Voldemort's stance but also his methods and was intending to betray 'any such group to Voldemort in exchange for her family's status to move from half-blood to pureblood'. It's not too far a stretch to see her taking the mark.
  
  Rita was a lot of fun to write here, and in the next chapter you'll get to read her (abridged) exclusive.
  
  Harry's coolness: He's always been, if not cool, at least determined, when facing battle. He' made his decision long before that one way or the other, Voldemort would die.
  
  Family: That was intended. they have given Harry what the Dursleys refused to, and the Weasleys couldn't...a true family. I've had many talks with older veterans, and it seems that each of us is basically family. We may not like each other, but we understand each other all too well.
  
  Albus: Yupper. He's always bee mad, but here, it's out in the open.
  
  Less sympathy: I feel none. He is, IMO, responsible for the majority of the ills to befall the WW even in canon. If he'd been even slightly competent, he would have taken steps to eliminate Voldemort...not place all their lives on the shoulders of an untrained kid, and hope it works out.
  
  Dr. Evil could have come up with a better plan!
  
  Lifespan: Not long. His magic will allow him to live as long as any squib, but he's already well over a hundred. He ain't gonna last long.
  
  Thank you!
  
  Harry has a deep-seated sense of duty. Dumbledore induced yes, but there it is. He will remain at least long enough to ensure things are going well. As for leaving Britain, eventually, he'll have to leave. He wants his Jedi order to be independent of national control.
  
  His hidden island will ensure that.
  
  Thanks for the review.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) lycus 2011-05-03

  That was a great chapter, but I just can't feel sorry for ron. I can feel sorry for Luna but we all know that she and her child will not want for anything. And you did hint at Harry being with more than one lady and if those plans are still in place I nominate Lavender. And maybe ron had to die, I've always thought that if ron gained any sort of power it would go straight to his ego and the way that you had ron's thought process before he died made it obvious that he was a sith in the making. And about dumbledore will his powers leave him slowly or suddenly? I could see him in a blind panic knowing that everyday he was getting weaker and weaker and in the eyes of the people becoming insignificant that is true toture. And one last thing I don't know why but I thought of them having a celebration and leaving the compound and either Harry or Hermione running back in hours later saying that they forgot about Ernie.

  Author's response

  Heya Lycus!
  
  Thank you!
  
  Harry gave Ron every chance he could (and a few he shouldn't have), but I based Ron on his canon persona. that persona is flawed. He's good-hearted but he has the fatal flaws that here, killed him.
  
  Luna: You're right. Her child will grow up loved and wanted. I'd also expect him to be a powerful Jedi, Mmmm!
  
  Next chapter will clear up some of your thoughts. the hints will bear fruit. Lavender will not be more than a close friend, though she might find a partner. Honestly, I hadn't considered that.
  
  Ron: Maybe not a Sith, but definitely moving in that general direction. Ron's canon personality is precisely what spymasters are looking for when they recruit native agents. He has extremely low self-esteem, and a desire for gain, but no drive t earn it. even in the crapalogue, he had to cheat to get a driving license.
  
  Dumbledore's powers will fade over the next three months. by the time the inhibitors release themselves, he will have no usable magic left.
  
  And your thoughts as to his mindset: ~in the eyes of the people becoming insignificant that is true torture.~ are as the Brits say: Spot-on. What better punishment for him than to be Powerless, broke, confined, and completely forgotten?
  
  Poor Ernie!
  
  "Mmm! Harry?"
  
  "Mmm?"
  
  "We forgot about Ernie!"
  
  "Ernie?"
  
  "Yeah!" Hermione points to the stasis tank. "Ernie!"
  
  "Well..." Harry rubbed is chin. "He is nicely decorated."
  
  "Harry!"
  
  "Don't worry, sweetheart. We'll pull him out of there in a few weeks. It's not like he's gonna notice! Now come back to bed!"
  
  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Richardc269 2011-05-03

  I'm not sure if you made a mistake in your story or not, but you said that they used the truth serum on someone, but didn't say who. I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say it was either Snape or Dung. If it was Snape, then that wouldn't work because the story said he earlier took something to cancel out all known truth serums or some-such.
  
  I continue to love the story, and I cannot wait until the end is written. I'm not at all sorry for Ron dyin'. He was turning into a Sith Lord. Arrogant fool.
  
  Loved the way how you dealt with Albus.
  
  There is one thing that kinda bugged me though, and that's all the nicknames Harry kept giving Voldemort and his Death Eaters. That seemed a bit childish, and really just not needed. But I do have to say that after the story's done written, you can go back and fix mistakes.

  Author's response

  Heya Richard!
  
  It was Snape, and he took that antidote almost a year before. Nothing stays in the human system for that log. That's actually why I timed it the way I did. He was captured on May 11th, and they waited until the 20th to question him. that way, any antidote he took would be flushed from his body before he was questioned. Good catch, though.
  
  The end will be less than exciting. Just some clean-ups...trials and the like.
  
  Ron. I see him as being 'at risk' not actually falling. But that's just me.
  
  Albus: How better than to take everything he's worked for, for so long? Glad you liked it.
  
  Nicknames: Voldemort's power comes from people who are afraid of saying his name. That's one of the few things i agree with Dumbledore on. "Fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself."
  
  There is a vast pool of historical references to using nicknames for the enemy. I don't believe there's ever been a war in history where some sort of demeaning names weren't used. Reference the book: 'Faces of the Enemy' By Sam Keene. An excellent look into the social psychology of war.
  
  Thanks for the review.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) ldfrost 2011-05-03

  Sad about Ron, but we knew it was going to happen with all the buildup. I did think that it would have been funnier if Voldy had held the light saber backwards and accidentally activated it himself, realizing that he could have had it all and been the next Sith lord too...too late. Really enjoyed the story though, much better than the hallows. I'm looking forward to the next chapters. Tie up all the lose ends and springboard the next book.

  Author's response

  Hello idfrost.
  
  Yes, it's sad, but there was plenty of foreshadowing. It would also be unrealistic to face battle at nearly ten to one odds, and not lose anyone.
  
  I can see that. "I feel great power within, but I cannot fathom it's operation!"
  
  "Erm...you see that switch? Push it!"
  
  "You mean like thiBZZZZZZZ!"
  
  "Yeah. Like that."
  
  Next chapter will officially end this story. Any springboarding will be when I've gotten a few things in real life dealt with.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Maxtaf 2011-05-03

  It is said that only silver will slay a werewolf. Whoever said that hadn’t considered the effects of a lightsaber blade against the neck of the self-same werewolf. Greyback’s head tumbled to the ground, followed by his body, thus demonstrating that decapitation is also an effective method.
  
  You'd be surprised how many things that'll kill.

  Author's response

  Hello, Maxtaf.
  
  Very very true.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) robyntalks 2011-05-04

  Great chapter. Thanks for the update.
  Keep it up. Love, Robyn.

  Author's response

  Heya Robyn!
  
  One more and this one is done. 'Whew!'
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Cateagle 2011-05-04

  I loved this chapter with alla the rollercoaster ride that it was. I don't feel a bit sorry for Albus as his arrogance, pride, and ignorance combine to put him in a situation where he's brought low; I loved the activation gimmick and though the overall effect a beautiful binary approach. I can understand why Ron made the choices that he did, but his pride and desire for fame without doing all the preparatory work finally but him a bit too far out; he will be missed by all who knew him, especially Luna, but it's his own choices that damned him. I definitely applaud Harry's moxie and approach in dealing with Tom; it's clearly appropriate that, as with Albus, his ignorance, arrogance, and pride brought about his end.
  
  I'm thinking there'll only be a few more chapters as you wrap up the various loose plot threads still out there (I do love how Harry found everyone of the influencing items Albus had placed on the Dursleys), most especially whatever trial or other proceeding is used for Albus. Methinks things are going to remain right interesting for a while.
  
  Oh, I do agree with your comments about televangelists; they give christianity a very bad name, as do idiots like Fred Phelps (and as a Baptist familiar with baptist history, I'm quite ticked that he calls that a baptist church).
  
  On a personal note, I'm now 3-/1 weeks into working for Bell Helicopter here in Fort Worth and loving it. The work and the training on various computer systems at Sikorsky has proven to be most useful here. I'm also getting a feel for history because we're still dealing with spares requests for early Hueys as well as working on improvements to the latest version.

  Author's response

  Heya Cat! How're y'doing!
  
  I'm glad you liked the chapter, rollercoaster that it was.
  
  You're right. Albus was so convinced he was the smartest kid on the block he forgot there were things he didn't know.
  
  When I started writing this last year, I knew I'd need a fail-safe way to eliminate him, but not kill him, and binary's are both sneaky and effective.
  
  Like the Dursley's and Snape, his punishment will be much worse than death. Remember what Harry said: "I want them to suffer!
  
  Killing off Ron was the hardest thing i've had to do here. Normally, write him as being greedy and cruel, sometimes as a Death Eater in waiting, but this is the first time I've written him as being like his canon character...but with a few saving graces.
  
  The problem was that to keep him in with his canon personality, I had to make hm willing to disobey orders and sneak out.
  
  It's funny. I didn't want to kill him and I didn't want to bring Mack along. Go figger!
  
  Luna: Since I felt it necessary to kill off Ron, I decided that she should use her foresight to make arrangements for his, (sic) continuation.
  
  Moxie: I've said before...Harry won't condemn anyone by proxy.
  
  And you're right again. Like Dumbley he knew he was the smartest kid in school...No one could possibly be smarter than he was. (Which is why I hd him start using the Royal 'We'.) Combine that with a long-term addiction and you have a powder-keg waiting for match.
  
  One more chapter for wrap-up, and this story is done. Real life is pounding on my head, so I may have to take a FF break. Fear not though, I have several more stories nearing completion.
  
  Televangelists: They do. It's interesting though. They use the same general methods Dumbledore did. They rely on the gullibility of the audience, and their knowledge of the laws...and if that doesn't work, they tend to use their 'personal connection to god'.
  
  It brings to mind Ray Steven's song, 'Would Jesus wear a Rolex?" Give it a listen. It's fumy as hell and frighteningly accurate.
  
  I didn't know the Huey's were being supported any more. Here you are, working for Bell having worked for Sikorsky, when thirty years ago, Sikorsky managed to grab the utility helicopter contract from Bell, and now with the Osprey, Bell is trying to get it back.
  
  Did they ever get the four bladed articulated system to work on the Huey?
  
  Nemmind. Not important.
  
  Until next time...
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Cateagle 2011-05-04

  Actually, yes they did. The "Whiskey", "Yankee", and "Zulu" models (UH-1W, AH-1Y, UH-1Z) all have a four bladed rotor as do most of their more modern models.
  
  Heh, speaking of Ray Stevens and Christianity, I love his "Mississippi Squirrel Revival", both the song and the video.

  Author's response

  Hey again, Cat.
  
  I've found that articulated rotors are easier to fly than the semi-rigid type. There's also a significantly lower chance of mast bump, which as you know, is a Baaaaddd thing!.
  
  Mississippi Squirrel is funny as all hell. Most of his stuff was funny, but he's gotten into the political arena now and a lot of what he sings is insulting to many people.
  
  Le sigh!
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Disruptor 2011-05-05

  My dad was a vetran, but he never served in any wars beforee his term was up. He was Air Force, but in one of the most despised postions in any military: he was Military Police. Later on he became a seargent for a prision and then retired. The People under him were my city's SWAT team. If that person you met was a police officer or a prision guard, I could see it, but a mailman?
  
  
  Caeg Solais is, if I spelled it right, the name of a sword from Celtic myth and has nothing to do with Star Wars other than as an inspiration. It's other name was Sword of Light. Another sword from that time was Caladbolg: a sword with an arc like a rainbow and chopped a path through a mountain range one time and then chopped off the tops of three hills with a single pass. Another sword wasn't all that impressive comparitivly to the other swords of that time and was known as Caldewyflch which later became Caliburn and then Excaliber. The strongest sword from Celtic myth was Fragarch or the Answerer which had IIRC the ability to compel the truth out of anyone if you point the tip of the blade at a person's throat, ability to control the wind, and finally like the spear Gae Bolg, it can pretty much kill anything regardless of what it was.

  Author's response

  Hey agin Disruptor.
  
  My father was also a veteran. He served in combat in WWII, and Korea,(Maybe that's where he started drinking...) and was in the Air Force during Viet-Nam. It seems that all my family on both sides, have been in the military in one form or another.
  
  I have a great deal of respect for mailmen, their job is difficult at best. They put up with things most wouldn't, they have been attacked and beaten, bitten by animals and abused by many, but like you, I don't see how someone who never risked the chance of combat (G W Bush, I'm talking 'bout you!) could be considered a veteran. That might be closed minded of me, but there it is.
  
  Caeg Solais" Found it! It's Claíomh Solais and as you said, it's the sword of light. I was astounded at how many light/flaming/glowey swords there were on mythology. I wonder if that's where Lucas got the idea. Funny enough, he originally intended the lightsabers to be a functional, all purpose tool that anybody could use. They just seemed to evolve on tehir own.
  
  Caladbolg: Can you imagine how difficult that would be to control?
  
  I do know about Caldewyflch/Excaliber, though didn't know the name Caliburn.
  
  ~The strongest sword from Celtic myth was Fragarch or the Answerer which had IIRC the ability to compel the truth out of anyone if you point the tip of the blade at a person's throat,~
  
  I hate to say this, but I'd suspect that any sword pressed against someone's throat would have them singing.
  
  Ain't mythology so much fun?
  
  Snicker.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Twylyte 2011-05-05

  An amazing climax in an amazing story. I've been following this for a while now and all I can say is: "Wow". This is a fantastic piece of work.
  One little problem in this chapter, Harry didn't call out Luna's name in the list of people to go to the battle. She was at the meeting and the finale but her name wasn't called.
  I didn't expect Ron to die like that. I expected him to die, and you made me actually feel sad that he was going to but I'd expected something more stupid and less glory-hound.
  A great story. Top stuff.
  -Twy

  Author's response

  Hello, Twylyte.
  
  Thank yeeewww!
  
  Luna: Crap! You're right. I read over the chapter and you're right. I forgot to include Luna in the list of people going. (Beats head against desk) I'll correct it before I post on FF.n.
  
  Ron's death was hard to write.I first wanted to let him live, but I've known so many sailors and Marines who acted the same way and in each case, they either died, or got someone else killed. I decided back in December, that he was too unstable to be left with a lightsaber but he was already too far along with the training to /Obliviate/, and so, I had Luna make her plans. That's what all the references to 'great joy and great pain' were.
  
  I wrote that scene...and rewrote it and rewrote it again until I was (mostly) happy with the way he went. He always wanted to be a hero, and so I let him die one.
  
  Thanks again.
  
  Alorkin

Sign up to review this story.