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• Eroninja

  (#) HeGotGame 2013-08-12

  Great chapter. The opening with Konan was excellent. Seeing as how they had gone so long without being intimate with one another, let alone seen each other, the bit about their correspondences via butterfly letters was nice. The lovemaking scene was outstanding, of course; all in all, their reunion far exceeded my expectations.
  
  Naruto giving Mikoto Shisui's eye has me conflicted. One one hand, I agree with such an action, as it would give Mikoto closure as far as where things stand with Sasuke. While she questioned Naruto's reasoning when he gave her the much coveted Sharingan of Shunshin no Shisui, I really think she would have resented him concealing the eye and its abilities from her as it pertains to Sasuke should he become irredeemable. On the other hand, though, giving her the eye has its own drawbacks, as mentioned in the chapter itself: should she actually use it, it would change Sasuke against his will. He would essentially become a puppet, in my eyes.
  
  The hotspring scene was my favorite. Just imagining the various beautiful women of the ninja world all concentrated in one place... that would truly be heaven for Jiraiya. It's not just the imagery that I liked about that scene, though; what they talked about is also worth mentioning. The remnants of the old Akatsuki, while subdued, are still prevalent in the minds of Naruto and his girls. Also, the angle on Iwagakure's hostility towards Konoha was well done. Most people just assume Iwa would hate Naruto for his connection to the Fourth Hokage, but here, you wrote it how it should be perceived: that they are suspicious and extremely wary that Konoha plans to move against them since they concealed not only Naruto's lineage, but also his status as a jinchūriki. In their eyes, it is perfectly feasible that Konoha would only do that if they are preparing for war and need an ultimate trump card that Iwa would otherwise fail to account for.
  
  The important takeaway from the hotspring scene, however, is the topic of discussion they were all called for in the first place; namely, the age game. It was interesting to see your explanation, and I was glad to see how much thought you put into it. I also like how you made it yet another point of contention between them, in that not all of them desire immortality (I myself consider it to be psuedo-immortality, though, due to the fact that they are capable of dying in battle, despite having eternal youth).
  
  The brazen behaviour displayed by Kūkaku shocked me, yet Naruto's level-headed handling of her shameful behaviour didn't surprise me, which shows off his much-improved maturity. Kūkaku's reasoning made sense, though. She wants to experience the pleasure her new form can provide her without being bound or anything like that. I think she views the binding in a similar light to her being sealed when she was a tailed beast. While she may continue to sleep around with random guys, I liked how you alluded to the reasoning behind it changing; at first, she just wanted the pleasure without being bound, and now she wants to prove that Naruto isn't anything special by maintaing her promiscuous ways.
  
  The last thing I want to touch upon is the move upon Konoha by Kabuto and Guren. I was surprised when Guren didn't kill anyone, before I realized that she believed that only she deserved to die. The graves dug up by Kabuto are indicative of his cruel nature. Resurrecting dead loved ones is a surefire way to hit close to home. I'd like to see someone do that to him, by reviving Nono Yakushi. At least it will provide closure for a couple of harem members with lovers before they joined Naruto (Tsunade, Yūgao), and maybe even future ones (Kurenai).
  
  Also, I think you have portrayed Kabuto splendidly. I personally don't hate him, given my understanding for everything he's gone through, but he makes for a great antagonist. Brilliant, manipulative, resourceful, and most importantly, cruel yet curious. It is this last trait that has led to him coming to Konoha, after his failed endeavor in Wave, and it is this trait of his that will allow for Naruto to add two more women to his ever-growing harem.
  
  Again, great job, really well done. The next chapter can't come soon enough.

• Eroninja

  (#) LeafRanger5 2013-08-12

  Well this was a pretty awesome chapter, but again...there was one part I think was way too serious, possibly for the fanfic in general. The immortality part.
  
  Quite honestly man, I think the fanfic could have done without it. It just felt like needless padding meant to add extra words and create drama and stuff. So unless something involving it pops up that truly affects the entirety of the fanfic, I felt that quite honestly, it wasn't necessary.
  
  I also think Anko is being an utter moron. She's upset at Naruto because he didn't want to do BDSM that she tried to FORCE onto him. She's the one at fault. That better be reflected in what is to come.

• Eroninja

  (#) pokemaster12 2013-08-13

  Gah! Holy shit, things are beginning to heat up. I look forward to the next chapter and can only hope it comes out soon.
  
  I am a little worried about several of Naruto's relationships though. My number one concern being Kiyomi. I'm really hoping you resolve the issues they have soon. Another concern is Anko. She hasn't appeared much recently and her distancing from Naruto has me worried.
  
  Other than that, this was an excellent chapter and I can't wait for the next one.

• Eroninja

  (#) Akuma-Heika 2013-08-13

  Does Sage view Naruto as her father?
  
  I had another question I thought up a few days ago but cannot remember it now.
  
  In essence the Sasuke that he knew would die so Mikoto’s version of what she wanted him to be could be born.
  The Sasuke he knew was a basket case. He attacks his mother for betraying the clan when Itachi did as well...her betrayal didn't do or change anything.
  
  smiled as he watched Tenten standing in the water with her backside presented to him as her torso rested on the ground. Her head was resting on her hands.
  How can she be standing and resting on the ground? lying on her hands?
  
  The talk of Daimyo having concubines is reminding me of another story where the fire Daimyo had a kiri kunoichi (I believe it was Ameyuri) as one who was mentally broken and had given him a couple of kids. I am now curious to which story it was...
  
  Several questions I thought upa t random times and now I cannot remember them...fuck

• Eroninja

  (#) nimistar 2013-08-13

  i would guess if hashirama could overpower the edo tensai that mito would be able to do it too, that and the kyuubi chakra she should have access to (or not, i dont think there is really a set rule about what powers reborn people have, otherwise madara would still be a decrepit old man).

• Eroninja

  (#) Macogrande 2013-08-13

  Can we try and get the stuff with Anko to some sort of conclusion? I mean i understand that what happened hurt her but i think by now Naruto would have at least tried to talk to her or something. He stayed away from Ino because she asked for space, but Anko hasnt even really talked to him since he ran from her during that incident. It just urks me a little with that going on and Naruto not trying to do anything about it. I think that Naruto as caring as he is would have stepped in and well done something. Not meaning to offend you or anything.

• Eroninja

  (#) jupmod 2013-08-14

  I totally agree with you on your POVs regarding immortality. It will not do the world any good if people can be immortal at the same time have children.
  
  Yet given the options, I wonder what each of the women would choose. Ino, Konan, and I'm sure some others wouldn't mind being immortal to stay with Naruto. However, would some of them want to become mothers? If yes, would Naruto age with them if they want him to father their children? Hinata is likely one example given she is the heir of her clan, so if she wants to become the head, she would likely need to have children. Then again, being immortal, she could rule her clan forever. :)
  
  So even though they would not need to think about it now, when everthing is finished with uniting the world, they still need to think of who would want to be immortal and who not. To mention, you have not bother to touch whether Naruto would regain his immortality if some of the women want him to father their children.
  
  (sigh) Are you going to bring Mito to 'life' as done with Haku? It would become cliche to use this technique to keep bringing women back from the dead. Maybe it would be okay to have Naruto have a fling before they return to Heaven.
  
  Anyway, I'm looking forward to what will happen with Mito. It would be quite interesting when Naruto romps with her. XD

• Eroninja

  (#) UncleFester81 2013-08-14

  Another good chapter with pathos, drama and love on the side

• Eroninja

  (#) Thanathos 2013-08-14

  Nice chapter, I liked it. Just one part I was unhappy with, Mito's resurrection. The Edo Tensei calls back the person the way he, or in this case she, died. It's not possible to choose the body's age, otherwise characters like Chiyo, Hanzo, and later Sarutobi would have likely been summoned at a younger age, since even if the resurrected are no longer limited like living humans, there are still physical limits placed by their bodies that a younger body doesn't have to the same extent.
  
  I kinda figured it would be Kabuto's summoning rather than time-travel for at least some of the Blast-from-the-past-characters, but in Mito's case I was clearly expecting that if she's called back, she'd have to go through a youthening-procedure much like Tsunade and Koharu. As a true Uzumaki, she'd be a seal-mistress surpassing Jiraiya by far, so she actually doesn't need a young body to serve Kabuto's purpose. Either way, the jutsu doesn't work that way, if it could alter the summon's age you could use it to make young summons older than they'd got to be in life. It seemed pretty clear that the summon appears the age he died, or, and this is a big IF, possibly the age he was when the DNA-sample used in the summoning was taken from them, which again wouldn't effect Mito. Personally I think the body's shape is actually decided by the summoned soul for greatest compatibility. The body is the age it died in because that's the body the soul remembers being in and can thus immediately fight in without having to get used to first.
  
  I personally look forward to seeing many things in the future, from the bijuu finally joining Naruto's Harem over Gyuuki getting its/her own body and being with Killer Bee and Katsuyu's joining to Samui's. Though right now the most pressing issue is likely Anko.
  
  I personally feel that both acted wrong, Anko should have talked with Naruto and eased him into it rather than throwing him in the deep end and see what happens, while Naruto's reaction, running away screaming, while understandable from a male point of view, may have been a little exaggerated. I personally think it was the dildo that scared Naruto the most, that's just not a thought most men are comfortable with. Rather than trying to ignore the issue and letting it fester for 14.5 chapters and counting, he should have sat her down and talk with her about it. The two need to discuss the whole thing and what went wrong, then try again under better circumstances. While Naruto will never become a true sub, I do believe that there are aspects of BDSM he could agree with, and to a point even enjoy, the problem was that Anko had no idea what she was doing, and has to actually learn and explain the rules to Naruto before a retry can happen. In real BDSM, it is the sub who decides how far the play goes, and Anko failed to realize that, or if she did, she didn't let Naruto know. It's not impossible Anko knew how BDSM worked, and perhaps even expected to have the BDSM-play with Naruto follow real rules, but if that is true, then her mistake was to think that Naruto knew as much about BDSM and its rules as she did, and expected him to be able to roll with her flow. Though truth be told I don't think she had any clue about how BDSM works in real life.
  
  The simple truth is that in BDSM trust and rules are the most important things. Anko didn't give Naruto a safe-word, nor did she talk with him before to set limits, to clarify to what Naruto can agree and what is a absolute no. Because of this when suddenly confronted with something that went completely out of his comfort-zone, Naruto saw no way to deal with Anko, who seemed to have gone too deep in her dominatrix-role to be reasoned with, other than flee. What I personally believe is that when Anko studied BDSM, she limited her research to sex-acts that can be done in it, but failed to realize that there are many steps that have to be done before the play can start, especially in your first BDSM-session with a new partner, and even more so if it's your first time with BDSM period. So I think she and Naruto could in the future enjoy some BDSM together even with her as the dom, however it has to follow the rules of real BDSM and consist of trust, agreements and rules, not the comic-BDSM with the dom being the absolute ruler deciding everything and the sub taking it that Anko tried to implement.
  
  You know, I found two flaws, though one's also a loophole, in your immortality. The first flaw is that your immortality is sexist. Assuming that one of the harem, lets say Tsunade, gives birth to twins, a boy and a girl, and they are immortal while Tsunade is not. Then the siblings fall in love (not with each other) and have children. The daughter will become mortal, but the son hasn't given birth, he's biologically incapable of it, so he keeps his immortality. In other words harem-members and their daughters can grow old and die, but Naruto's sons are immortal. So the world will still become overpopulated with the millenniums passing, only rather than a country of immortals we'll have a country of male immortals, not really an improvement. If anything we risk ageless hordes ravaging the lands hunting for more females to sate their urges, and nobody other than possibly the bijuu to even try to reign them in.
  The second flaw, the loophole, is the process itself. If I understood this correctly, a woman needs two things to become... ageless, it's not really true immortality. First is Naruto's semen which activates the agelessness, and I suspect the other is the mate-mark, as I can't imagine Kyuubi being so careless as to let Naruto's sperm make ANYONE who can gather it immortal. And if the harem-member gives birth, she transfers her agelessness to her offspring, becoming a normally aging human again. That's how the process works, right? So what happens if a harem-member who gave birth has sex with Naruto again? She has the mate-mark, she now has the sperm, and Tsume Tsunami proved that being a mother doesn't prevent the agelessness from activating. Wouldn't this basically mean that even if the harem has children, as long as they regularly copulate with Naruto, they effectively keep their agelessness? I personally see the limit of immortality more as a problem for Naruto's offspring than Naruto himself. Unless the harem completely desensitizes to incest, which with the couples of Tsume&Hana, possibly Hinata&Hanabi and most likely Naruto/Kushina is actually not impossible, it will be the daughters of the harem who will face the choice between agelessness and motherhood, as they will likely not be able to just join Naruto's harem and get a recharge for their longevity.
  Another potential loophole has come with Mito, who will soon join (should have joined this chapter, the preview listing chapter 44 as Guren, not Mito Part 2). Mito was close to the Senju-brothers and outlived both. She's an Uzumaki, and was raised as an Uzumaki. Chances are pretty good she knows the Edo Tensei, so even if a harem-member dies for whatever reason, she can be brought back and given real life. Since it doesn't kill the sacrifice another member of the harem would likely even volunteer to help bring her back. Since Kiyomi should be able to bring life on her own, this method could even be used to bring back Naruto should the worst happen.
  
  On the topic of immortality, since it seems to spring up fairly often. What you gave the harem is not Absolute Immortality, as they can still fall to disease, poison or physical trauma, they're not like Hidan who keeps talking after being decapitated. What they have is agelessness, their bodies won't fall apart on them and they don't age. The technical term for this is Biological Immortality. Just to end the debate.
  
  Well, I hope the next chapter(s) will be out soon, though I realize that writing such long and excellent chapters takes it's time. Either way, good luck with your writing.

  Author's response

  Thanks for the long review. I am forced to disagree with you about Mito not being able to be brought back younger. After all the true Madara died a whithered old man but was brought back not only at his prime, but with the abilities he had gained just before his death, i.e the Rinnegan. Although I didn't explain it like that in the chapter you could suppose that what he did with Mito was a test run of sorts.
  
  Also, the immortality isn' lost by the woman giving birth. It is taken away by Kiyomi the one that granted the ability in the first place. While Naruto is the medium by which the ability to become immortal is granted, Kiyomi is the one that can determine whether it takes hold or not. It would be a gift that she denies should a person decide they wish to have a child.
  
  I'll be honest in that I don't exactly view much of a difference between all the different types of immortality. By that I mean even Hidan despite being able to keep talking after being beheaded could be killed. He died a slow painful death of lack of nutrion, therefore basically there is not such thing as true immortality. Perhaps what the Bijuu had before hand could be considered true immortality as they would actually reform after death, but in Nel's case it wasn't without its side-effects
  
  Your take on Anko and Naruto's relationship isn't wrong, but just because I haven't made it a major focus of the story up to now doesn't mean that they haven't discussed where things stand. Just that it isn't pertanant to the story at the moment. For instance one of the reasons I've written the Limelight chapters is to show that there are things going on in the background with characters that haven't been the primary focus of the story. Right now though both characters are in the midst of denying that there is anything truly wrong. Eventually things will come to a head though, but at the moment neither wants to be the one that gives the push to force the issue.

• Eroninja

  (#) Superfire 2013-08-15

  This is a great story. I love how your ideas and style of writing.
  There is one problem though: if Naruto get any more women he could die. :p
  I mean if one man had to keep up with that many women he'd pull his hair out. I know Naruto is supposed to be the stamina god but you should keep it real. I think it's to the point where you don't need a new girl but every 5-10 chapters. Your story though so write want you want. I'll still read and enjoy no matter what.

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