FicWad

******5 YEARS LATER*******

I had just finished packing up my stuff when Leah approached me. "Hey Sara. Congratulations on the engagement!"

"Thanks." I studied the ring that Tim had placed on my finger the previous night on my birthday. It was a simple band with three diamonds, but it was so elegant. I knew it was the right decision after the ring was slipped onto my finger. Being with Tim felt so right, and I couldn't think of anything more perfect in the entire world.

I finished gathering my things and went to the dressing rooms to find Tim. I knocked lightly on his door, and he opened it. He beamed at me and pulled me into the room, locking the door behind me. "Hello beautiful." He started kissing my neck and lips. He ran his hand up the back of my shirt. "Last night was amazing," he finally said after letting me go.

"It was," I said in a seductive tone.

"Oh hey. You remember Gerard Way?"

Thank the world that my back was turned when he said that because my face dropped like a ton of bricks."Of course I do. We were best friends for 18 years."

"What happened to you guys?"

"Oh you know, people move and change.

"Yeah. Well him and his band are coming to the station next week. I get to interveiw them with Leah. It's weird, me interveiwing an old school mate."

But I hadn't heard what he was saying after "I get to interveiw them." My heart nearly stopped. Why now? After everything in my life was finally going to way I wanted it to, he had to come back into it.

"Sara? Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no. Just thinking. That will be pretty cool."

"Let's get going." We walked out back of the station to the parking lot and we got into the car. Our car. And drove to our home. The summer Tim and I moved to Toronto, he stayed at my apartment while looking for his own. It was only a one bedroom place, so he slept on a mattress on the floor. But eventually he stopped looking for his own place, and we've been living together ever since.

Once in the apartment, I went to change out of my work clothes. Tim walked in, and I tried to shoo him out, but he just smiled. "I've seen it all before. In fact, I'm the only one who's ever seen it all." That wasn't the truth, be that's what I lead him to believe. I couldn't tell him Gerard was my first. How could I after 5 years of lying?

I pulled on a t-shirt and pants and went to the kitchen. I was looking through the fridge, wondering what to make when the phone rang. Tim had gotten in the shower, so I got it.

"Hello?" There was silence on the other end. "Hello, is anyone there?" Still no answer. I was about to hang up when I heard a familiar voice say, "Sara?" I took a seat on the counter.

"Gerard?" I whispered.

"Yes. It's me." I was speechless. What was I supposed to say? I hadn't talked to him in 5 years. "How are you?" he asked after a moment.

"I'm fine. Why are you calling me? And how did you get my number?"

"I wanted to know how you've been. I got your number from your mom. She was surprised to know that we haven't talked since graduation."

My mom had constantly asked me about Gerard, and I always found a way to get around the questions. Finally, she just stopped asking.

"Listen," Gerard said interupting my thoughts. "I'm coming to Toronto next week and I want to see you. Talk." I heard the shower turn off. Tim would be getting out any minute.

"I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Why not? We were best friends for 18 years. Please, I just want to talk."

"Fine. Whatever."

"Okay. How about I come to your place on Saturday."

"Definetely not. Let's just meet at the Starbucks on 54th and Queens?"

"Okay. One o'clock good?"

"Yeah. Fine." I hung up the phone just as Tim walked out of the bathroom.

"Who was that?"

"Leah. She wanted to congratulate us on our engagement." Tim walked over to me and made sure his towel was secure before picking me up and carrying me into the bedroom.
____________________________________________________________

I sat at a corner table jiggiling my leg, waiting nervously for Gerard to show up. He was already 20 minutes late, and I was about ready to get up and leave. The door opened for what seemed like the hundredth time, and I turned to look. There he was, looking around. He looked more perfect than ever. His black hair was carelessly combed, and his eyes glowing. And he had lost a considerable amount of weight. I turned away as he looked in my direction, pretending as if I hadn't seen him. A moment later I felt him standing beside my table. "Sara?"

I turned around, slowly stood up and put on my fake smile that I had become so good at. "Gerard. Hi." I stuck my hand out for him to shake, and he looked taken aback, but he shook it anyway. I sat down, and he took the seat across from me. I could see people behind him pointing and whispering to eachother, but I ignored them.

We sat down at the table and Gerards eyes flicked over me, studying every inch of my face, and I was getting uncomfortable, so I spoke. "So how is everything Gerard? It sounds like you've done really well. Mikey, Ray and Frank too.

"Yeah. It's alright. I've wanted this for so long. And I can't believe it's happened. But I still feel as if there's something missing."

"So how is everyone else?" I asked, knowing at what he was trying to get at. But I didn't want to know.

"They're all good. Listen Sara, when you left-"

"Gerard, I'm here to talk about now. Not the past okay?" Gerard went to reach for my hand, but stopped dead when he noticed the engagment ring.

"Are you-?"

"Yes Gerard, I am engaged, and deeply in love with the man of my dreams. And nothing will change that."

"But, I thought you loved me."

I rolled my eyes and sat back in my chair. "I did Gerard. I did."

"But I loved you too. You knew that."

"Gerard, you told me that two nights before I left. What was I supposed to do? Forget about the plans I had for my life?" I was raising my voice, and more people were now looking at us.

"No. I told you before that. But you shouldn't have left with Tim."

"Gerard, I couldn't wait around for you forever!"

"You knew how I felt! And you could have chosen me. You didn't have to leave with him."

"Yes I did. We made plans."

"Yeah, plans that you couldn't even tell your best friend about!"

"I'm sorry Gerard. If you had told me how you felt earlier, we could have had a future together. But now my futures with Tim." But we both knew he had told me a lot earlier.

"You mean you're engaged to Tim?"he asked in disbelief.

"Of course I am."

"I can't believe you. I profess my love to you, we have sex, and then you leave with someone else." He practicly yelled. "Now you're engaged. God damnit Sara, I lived for you. I still do!"

Tears were rolling down my cheeks, but I continued to argue. "Gerard, you had you're chance okay. 5 years ago, you could have told me this. It's too late now."

Just then one of the workers came over to us. "Excuse me," she said timidly. "But you're going to have to take this somewhere else. You're disturbing some of the other customers."

"Fine." I grabbed my belongings and rushed out, hoping that Gerard wouldn't follow. But of course, him being the stubborn person he was, did. He grabbed my arm, and held it. I wrenched my arm from his grip and walked more quickly down the street. "Sara!" he called after me, but I kept walking.

"Sara, please." he said catching up to me. "I still love you."

I stopped in the middle of the side walk, and forced the people to go around me. I turned to face him, tears still streaming down face. "Gerard, it took me a long time to get over you. And now I finally am. Can't you see I'm happy? I can't have you come back into my life and change it all. Change everything I've done for myself. It just wouldn't be fair, okay?" And with that I turned and left him standing stunned.