- Oh, wow, this is absolutely wonderful. Also exceptionally hot :)
I think you did a great job of keeping Rikku in character. All of her sparkle and energy, talking too much and too fast, really came through in this piece. I really had no problem making a mental image of the two of them together like this; it fit right into my mental concept of the characters, setting, and world.
Also, the occasional wryly humourous comments are wonderful! Especially the image of the Ronso cub at the beginning, and the fact that "one would have to be a castrated Hypello not to notice the left and right wing of Lulu's breast army." I laughed right out loud.
You did a great job :)
Author's responseAw, thanks very much for the review! I'm glad it worked and that you enjoyed it. The 7-year age difference made this piece very tricky to write. :)
- I like your description of the storm from Rikku's perspective and the way that she seems very pleased to avoid all storms by using an airship.
I like the way you play upon Rikku's curiosity by putting her in an unfamiliar environment and letting her explore it.
I love Rikku's deep concern for "Lulu's spiffy boots" grins. I also adore "behold-my-boobs maneuver" giggles. You are good at catching Rikku's sense of fun and silliness.
I love Rikku's complaints about the weather and her teasing about the food and the tea.
I enjoy the idea of Lulu and Yuna hunting. There's another whole fic you could lure me in with right there. You write these women very well.
I love how Rikku decides to beat on her boyfriend herself if she needs to get rid of him. Hee.
laughs and laughs Lulu's breast army. Seriously, I wouldn't have figured you were so brilliant at ridiculous Rikku banter and silly metaphors, but you really truly are.
And then I am just at a loss for words. Really this is all so lovely your description is perfect. For some reason when you put two women into a sexual situation I have absolutely no complaints about how you write about their physical interaction, maybe this is just you coming inbto your own as a writer though, sicne I realize those earlier sex scenes between Auron and Lu in Resurrection were written awhile back. But seriously, your description is gorgeous.
The idea of Lulu writing a spell on Rikku's skin with her nails for instance, wonderful.
Your metaphors are breathtaking. Really, you stagger me with this story. It's so lovely. I adore the idea of Lulu as a sisterly teacher of sexual intimacies.
Rikku saying that it's weird to be with a real friend is heartbreaking.
Hee and the book metaphor is beautiful. You're just so . . . is jealous. Really, I saw you asking on bangonfic if you need help with writing sex and the answer is "NO." You've done brilliantly.
Really, I have no words, I don/t You write their dialogue beautifully. I lie the way that Rikku is still a little playful when they are touching one another.
I love the way that Rikku attributes all kind of magic to Lulu's touches, the way she feels like Lulu commands the storm.
Also you know I hope this doesn't approach TMI, but it's nice to read fic by someone who obviously KNOWS ABOUT SEX. That is very good.
I adore Rikku's revelling in her power to make Lulu feel good.
This was awesomely lovely. I am so glad to have read it.
"Don't tell me you're shy of getting naked all of the sudden!" Replace "the" with "a."
Author's responseWow. I am humbled and delighted that the most careful of critical reviewers found so little to quibble about. I have kept your critique of my early attempts in mind. Practice may be helping, but I suspect that my real-life experience is showing in this piece. (Which, in fact, is one reason I usually write het -- when I write f/f, I feel like I'm betraying old lovers' confidences, whereas my m/f stories are based more upon imagination than memory.)
Giving Rikku the chance to take control was possibly Lulu's most important lesson, since Lulu was trying to help Rikku overcome feelings of inferiority towards her.
About your nitpick: goodness gracious, that's an unexamined habit of speech I've had all my life!
- I really love the way this story was written. You write Rikku so wonderfully; in character, with all the curiosity and silliness and humour she brings. Your characterisation of Lulu is equally impressive.
The way you wrote the sex in this was so great. I'm not usually a fan of sex scenes, since it takes so little to jar me out of the story, but your prose is just so well constructed that I held interest all the way. I loved the speech during the sex, too--very Rikku. :D
The delicate and humorous way you handled this story is really impressive. The idea of a woman teaching a girl about love making has such potential for disaster, but you definitely pulled it off. Thank you for this story; it was a lovely read.
Author's responseThank you very much for the review!
People often write Rikku as very sexual, but if she is, then she's a teenaged girl playing around, whereas Lulu's older and more experienced. Also, Rikku obviously looks up to and envies Lulu ("She's so together!") Both factors lead to an unequal relationship, which is dangerous.
I had in mind Sappho's school for girls on the threshold of (arranged) marriage. Classical Greek marriage meant going off to live in a stranger's house from which one was seldom allowed to leave. Under the circumstances, the girls and their teacher formed extraordinary bonds of trust and affection, the one time in their lives when the girls were free to explore being women without being in their father's or husband's charge. I can see how Sappho's hands-on sex ed may have helped prepare these young women for the scarier prospect of sex with a man.
Not quite the same circumstances here, but it gave me clues as to how to handle the situation.
(#) Princess_Rixie 2006-09-14Wow, this is good.
I don't get to read much femslash- it's always m/m on this site it seems.
I like the way you portrayed both of the characters. Most fics including Lulu show her as cold and bitter. I like this softer side of her. And Rikku was happy and a bit immature but not the extent that she's acting like she's had a few too many pixie sticks.
The scenes were very well written.
I'm really tired, and I'm not in the mood to be nit-picky. I didn't notice any gramatical errors, but then again, I wasn't really looking.
Fabulous story. After reading a lot of badfics on this site, I'm very impressed with this gem of a fic.
Author's responseA belated but very sincere thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked. I worked a little more on this one because I was basing it on old memories, and also I had to be especially careful because of the age difference between the characters. (I am not the sort to throw a 15-year-old at a 35-year-old). It was just for fun, mostly a gift to someone who made me see Rikku as more than just a shallowly boppy teenager. I'm not sure whether that stereotype or the "ice bitch" is worse, but it seems so common to assume any strong woman with a prickly temper is a cold, calculating femme fatale, especially if she dresses goth... yet there were many times in FFX when Lulu's sisterly or maternal interactions with Yuna were very touching; she speaks up for and protects Rikku from Wakka in her own subtle way; and in spite of putting Tidus through the third degree, Lulu answers all his questions and serves as a (mostly) patient mentor.
(#) randomizetheplot 2008-09-22The only words that seem adequate are 'magically delicious'.
Somehow you managed to capture the personality of both characters perfectly despite the...uh...unusual situation. Rikku's constant use of words and phrases like "squishy, icky, and creamy goodness" was especially hilarious. Bravo. I believe this deserves an encore of some sort. Perhaps Lulu could start some sort of pleasure academy. Yeah. That sounds good. Besaid would be all the rage. :P
Author's responseHeh. Well I do have one other Rikku/Lulu snippet (both giftfics to a Rikku fanatic) called Keraunophobia. Trying to create a plausible story that doesn't come off as pedophilia with those two was definitely... stretching my range.
Mostly I throw Lulu at Auron, boringly predictable as that is. I keep pecking at a Yuna/Lulu story, but they just sit around being kind to each other and NOTHING HAPPENS.
Annnyway, glad someone stumbled onto my stuff, and thank you for the review!
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