- having read the title of the story, I admit, I was saddened at the thought that I would not get to see any of the usual H/Hr/L interaction that is your writing and that gives it all the more flavour. But I'm glad there are possibilities are open for things. And in this one it doesn't seem like Luna and/or Ginny and conviniently very very very good friends to setup the sharing thing. So many different things in their relationships need to be setup. And other things need to be resolved. So far it's a very good premis for the readers because they can't simply assume things will fall into the place for the sake of some previous fics.
NAPPA --- ( who is hoping that there are major H/Hr/L bits... maybe even H/Hr/L/G :D ).
(#) Geovanni_Luciano 2007-08-22I like what you have written so far here, but there's a story in the making, as well. If you look at Deathly Hallows from a historical perspective you can draw correlations between it's events and the events that lead the nazis during WWII. I would suggest, once Hermione returns, that you elevate Harry to a position of power within the ministry or as a mentor of sorts like Albus Dumbledore. A Muggle-born War Crimes Commission needs to be established, much like the Israeli War Crimes Commission was established.
You brought up a can of worms with cementing Harry having all three of the Deathly Hallows and the ability to bring back the dead. Bring Albus Dumbledore's soul back and bind it into an animal(Barmy old goat does come to mind, but I wouldn't mind seeing him bound to a flying squirrel, either. Both would be demoralizing.)
Again, I like what you have so far. Consequences need to be paid by Ginny for what she consented to.
- The story is very interesting so far, but I do admit that I really dislike any H/G pairing based on the canon relationship that JKR wrote. I do like the H/Hr/L pairings that you've created before as I think they all complete each other.
At least at this point, I can't see Harry ever naming a son of his Albus Severus Potter. Did you realize that his initials spell ASP? Hmmmm...
I liked your portrayal of Molly in this chapter much better then the incarnation of "Ellen Ripley" that JKR created to take on Bellatrix.
I'll be looking forward to seeing how this story develops.
Author's responseIn this version, Harry won't name his son Albus Severus. Or rather, isn't the one who does so.
To answer some other reviews, I really think we see 4 different Harrys in canon. Harry books 1-4, CAPSLOCK Harry #5, wussy Harry of #6, and passive sacrificial Harry of DH. Since many fans howl in protest atthose who DARE suggest that is bad writing on Rowlings part, I think those last three Harrys were under Dumbles' influence. This is Harry freed of such things.
Others' interpretations may differ. This is my explanation of why Harry's world in the epilogue nearly put me into a diabetic shock. Those who liked the epilogue will certainly not like this and disagree about the characterizations.
(#) jbstarnes1 2007-08-22It's kind of treading the double-edged sword of Out of Character behavior. If written convincingly and consistently, it can be perfectly good. If, on the other hand, it just kind of happens and the author doesn't give any real reason to just go with it, then it can be very hard to sustain disbelief, especially if there are lots of references to 'In Character' behavior that highlight the disconnect.
It's probably a mistake to have this happen so quickly after the end of the last chapter of Deathly Hallows, and to have so much character turn over so quickly. Your characterization of Harry and company is about 180 degrees different from the way they're characterized in the books, which is fine in and of itself - a lot of fan fiction is about the writer's perception of the characters more than the characters themselves and that's just part and parcel of genre - but when that kind of characterization is attached to the books without any explanation it becomes much more obvious to the point of disbelief and disconnection for the reader. The behavior of Harry towards Dumbledore, Dumbledore towards Harry, the goblins towards Harry, the government of Shacklebolt behaving like Fudge, it just doesn't correspond to whats come before, which wouldn't matter if there weren't the implicit suggestion that everything that was written before happened as it was written, but there is, and even with suggestions that some extra things happened that weren't show, it's just impossible to maintain suspension of disbelief that anything you're writing could actually happen within the story. Which sounds silly when we're talking about fiction, the author can decide to make things however they want to, but in practice it doesn't work unless the author sets certain rules and abides by them, and by absorbing Rowling's work as the antecedent to this, you've absorbed some of her rules, and then proceeded to break them without convincing explanation.
It really needs a lot more time to give the characters reasons to act the way they do, or a completely alternate history to give their actions a better fitting context, but in the milieu they're in now, it just doesn't work.
The stuff you're good at - especially the Harry/Hermione/Luna interactions - are still good. Most of the character work is fine in and of itself, except that I can't believe in it.
(#) PerfesserN 2007-08-22I'm enjoying this story very, very much. People who have never experienced war can't begin to understand how the endless months of stress, punctuated by moments of sheer unadulterated panic combined with the loss of close friends and loved ones changes people.
I see all the characters dealing with PTSS in their own ways.
I love Luna's parting shot at Dumbledore. But then again, I love Luna, period.
Write on, write on!
- Unfortunately, I can easily see Dumblemort performing such a bonding and then obliviating them 'All for the greater good', of course. It appears to me that his version of the 'greater good' is both the one that will benefit his own vision the most, and the only one he will allow.
Barbi-Sue...erm, Ginny, is not my favorite character. Her willingness to do anything to get her way is really rather Slytherin. It is also not unlike Molly's own, and of course, plays right into the chess-master's hands. She is not free of guilt, but her participation might be likened to that of Jane Fonda in the hands of experts in psychological manipulations. (KGB/GRU) Until Book five, se wasa non-entity, then she became 'SuperGinny!'
Ron and Hermione is just ridiculous. Only Ralph and Alice Kramden can live like that!
Molly deserves to be furious. Her children's stupidity has guaranteed they will be virtual slaves until they die, (and if the truly ancient laws are enacted, their children as well.) Watching her haul both Ron and Ginny up by their ears was a nice touch.
Isn't it always the greatest secrets are discovered by the unlikeliest people? Dumbles had to know of Luna's gift. Almost everyone else did. (But there's that arrogance thing again!)
As pissed as Harry is, about the bonding, Hermione is going to be FURIOUS! It wouldn't surprise me to see her march into the headmaster's office with a box of matches.
I am writing a Harry/Hermione/Luna threesome. It ain't all that hard, but one has to 'feel' the harmonics of the grouping. Grins
Luna's curse was really nasty. Dumbledore is gonna fry...'until he learns what he done wrong!' Ain't likely, as Dumbeldore never seems to understand the idea that he can actually be wrong. GASP!
I have already placed this on my alerts list and hope to read more soon. Alorkin
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