- I really liked this chapter. Not only did you write a fairly good game, with the change that motivation can bring, you also wrote a good McGonagall. The scene in the shower was brilliant, especially her internals. You're writing a damaged Harry in a credible way, and Angel's reaction highlighted that brilliantly.
Do continue. i want to see where especially her train of thought leads her.
- I have to admit that I wanted to positively rate this story for several different things.
I thought that the beginning of this chapter was an excellently written exploration of Harry coming to realize how attractive Hermione is. I also like how is is beginning to appreciate the beauty that is a teenage young woman and that some of them actually like to be looked at. It's also great to see how this new appreciation he has is affecting his three banes so far.
His voyeur sessions in the ROR are actually very interesting. You have managed to keep them from just being PWP interludes. They are providing Harry a glimpse of life outside Hogwarts, as well as being able to see people he knows in a different light from what they show when he is physically around them. The Marrietta and Cho scene went from just being girl on girl sex to showing Harry feelings and emotions that he doesn't recognize and it places possible future Canon actions in a different light.
The quidditch match was also well written. I like how you changed its tone and outcome. Angelina's place in history is assured as should Ron's confidence as a Keeper.
The washroom encounter with Angelina and Harry was a good mixture of a learning episode for Harry, as well as a realization for Angelina of just how bad Harry's life may have been.
I hope she follows up on that train of thought to some degree. I'd also like for her to notice his hand and to do something to stop it, if for no other reason than if her Seeker is one-handed it might cause them to lose a match. But I hope she would do it for better reasons, maybe she might work with Hermione to come up with something other than just soaking it in "essence of Murtlap".
All in all I thought that this was a great chapter and I hope that you continue this story as it is an original at Harry's fifth year and I'm finding the story very compelling and enjoyable.
Thanks for posting.
Author's responseThanks for such a great review! Really makes writing much more fun when I have such great feedback.
The emotions and feelings will come in to play a lot more often now that he know the room will let him. I'm trying to make the 'smut' more of a learning experience for him.
I'll have to look into Angelina helping with his hand, never thought of that. I know that she won't be able to stop it as his detentions and the scars on his hand will become much more serious, but could see her help treating the pain.
- Please! for the love of all that is holy!! Update as quickly as possible. The way you portray Harry as being a NORMAL horny 15 year old is almost if not lost to most writers.
Maybe its because I am a sucker for Harem type stories. but this one has so far been one of the best ones I can ever remember reading.
Do your readers a huge favor. Don't wait so long to update.
Author's responseI'm working on the next chapter of Unknown Memories at the moment, but Room of Requirement will be updated again next month.
- -wicked chuckle- Now, -that- was quite the chapter. I see that Harry's making excellent use, for a normal guy, his age, of the RoR and learning a fair bit; I wonder when we'll get to see him apply his knowledge? I like the alternate room they have for the DADA club and it'll be interesting to see what happens there.
The Quidditch game was an interesting touch, with a restrained, but thoroughly ticked-off Gryffindor team decided to not just drub, but thoroughly humiliate the Slytherins. I reckon that one should hurt more than "just" a loss to Gryffindor.
It'll be interesting to see how matters proceed 'tween Harry and Angelina and what other girls -really- capture his attention. And how he manages to attract and share pleasure with them.
Author's responseIt'll be a great deal more than 'just a loss' against Gryffindor and will have far reaching consequences.
I thought the new defense room was pretty cool myself. Would be quite handy for a castle that size.
Thanks for the review!
- Fantastic chapter! (although I didn't discover it until I looked on the new story/update page, why the repost?)
It started off wonderfully with Harry's little realization of what makes a girl beautiful, when he's staring at Hermione. I would like it if she started actively pursuing him now like she did with Ron in HBP (I never understood why she didn't pursue a relationship with Ron in OotP, but waited until HBP. What would have been the difference?)
And he finally realizes what weak and petty people individuals like Malfoy, Snape and Umbridge are for getting their kicks from bullying him.
Harry's interactions with the other girls in his year are also fun to read. They feel like deleted scenes from canon that were removed to make the books kid friendly!
The scene with Tonks and Fleur were good too. It helps him realize that people have many facets to their personality, few of which you get to see in real life. But I keep wondering when you'll introduce Remus to the scene,as part of Tonk's life. The private side of Remus Lupin would REALLY interesting to read!
Cho and Marietta...I don't even know what to say to that. I feel sorry for Marietta because she really loves Cho, but she's only using her for sex. I hope Harry steers clear of those two. Far too much drama there!
Using the room to FEEL things from other people's perspective was a bit of a stretch, but not too much. But it does put the RoR in the same league as the Elder wand for being a Deus ex machin :P
The quiditch match was brilliant, as was Harry's reward! A much better first (second?)kiss than Cho Chang could have ever given him! I hope you keep up the Harry/Angelina...fling(best word I can think of) for a long while, at least until he's through with the first semester of the school year. Then he can move on to other girls (HERMIONE!!!). But please keep Harry decent, one girl at a time !)
Again, Great chapter! And update soon!
Author's responseThe chapters were messed up in the original posting of Room of Requirement and I could not seem to get them to list correctly for anything. (went chapter 2-1-3-4 or 1-2-4-3, but never 1-2-3-4) All I could think of is that it was messed up in the coding change a while back.
Remus and Sirius will have important parts in future chapters, probably near Christmas, but not quite yet.
He'll get a little messed up in Cho and Marietta's drama. I personally think he had too much of a crush on her not to.
I'll have to look up the whole Elder wand thing. I've only read up to book 5 and the first portion of book 6. (Didn't like the changes in personality in book 6 and never had the inclination to finish it.)
Harry won't be in a serious relationship with more than one girl, at least not anytime soon. He will have some more casual relationships where he'll go on dates with different girls, but won't have a more serious 'girlfriend' at the time.
Harry and Hermione's relationship will be a bit more complicated. They'll be incredible close, both emotional and physically, but they won't start a serious relationship anytime soon. She will have her own relationships with other boys before then though.
Ron... Well Ron will have some growing up to do as well. He'll have a good bit more confidence now that he held his own in Quidditch. He'll receive a good deal of attention because of the win but will be a bit too immature to deal with it well. At least at first.
(#) nesparatu621 2007-12-27I like this story a great deal, because it is one of the few I've found where Harry acts like a typical teenage boy. I love his interactions and his slow awakening towards the female side, and the room of requirements being used this way is awesome. I do wonder if Harry and Hermoine will be doing something, and who if anyone will discover the room's capabilities besides Harry. Great work, and get the next part out as soon as you can.
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