Categories > Books > Harry Potter > You're my what?
Reviews
You're my what?
(#) Nightrunner 2009-04-29
I like it! I like the concept of Harry and Gabrielle. Will this grow to be something permanent, and more than a need to spend time together?
Keep it going, Scruffy!You're my what?
(#) GryffindorDragon 2009-04-30
Nice story. I'm surprised I have seen something like this sooner. While Harry has been placed with Gabrielle in other stories based on his saving her life. None have done so so promptly. After all, if Gabrielle was somehow bound to Harry by that, wouldn't she need him right away? Great job having her sneak into his bed.You're my what?
(#) brandu 2009-04-30
Okay. THIS I like!
More please.
So far this is turning into a great H/G storyYou're my what?
(#) LabRat 2009-05-04
You're an asshole, you know that (not really, just something we say around the way when someone does something screwed up or frustrating, the latter in this case)? I actually went to check out that story from Jeconais, because I am a fan of Harry/Gabby, and it left me feeling highly inadequate. So much so that I was tempted to delete the Harry/Gabby story that I've been writing on.You're my what?
(#) juanjoseso 2009-05-06
good start I always knew fudge and his bitch were working for their whore and sex toysYou're my what?
(#) Dalwyn 2010-01-23
Nice story line. I remember another Gabrielle bond story that wound up with them in bed shortly after the 2nd task, and from memory it leaped into sex (I think she showed up in his bed naked). I'm happy this one has not, that there is room for 'mere' closeness in a Veela relationship.
But the writing is a bit slim on the details that could provide richness and interest. For example, Dumbles apparating in to kidnap Harry could have been a scene rather than merely one line. Elsewhere, dialog seemed pretty short.
Other lacking detail: how the heck did the basilisk get divided up? What possible claim does anyone have, except Harry who killed it? Right of conquest and all that. In fact, he should have all of it plus a reward for killing a murderous creature on a rampage. If you don't buy that, and think Hogwarts should get a portion ... then how does the Beauxbatons potion master get anything?
I'm disappointed in Harry's calmness throughout. For example, not protesting the original points and detention more. Then in the meeting where he learns of the bond, he should be arguing once again for points to be restored and an apology or something ... he didn't even try to get out of remaining detention! Harry comes across as just plain passive.
In the concluding sequence, he is even passive at getting out of Vernon's car with no explanation, just a week or two after a bunch of death eaters tried to kill him. What does he think is going on here? The only indication here is that his uncle has sold him or been bribed to hand him over, and he doesn't generate any suspicion at all that he might be in danger? Doesn't draw or even locate his wand to ensure it is readily available? He just wishes he knew what was going on.
Was Pettigrew questioned? Was Sirius tried for the first time, and maybe acquitted?
So, lots of holes.
But the story line so far is interesting, and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes.
Thanks for writing.You're my what?
(#) ThePurpleCritic 2012-09-10
I'm not sure who's the original author of this story at this point, but on Fanfiction there's a story with a different title and same first chapter down to practically the word, the story is titled Harry & Gabrielle by RavengradYou're my what?
(#) pmpermex 2013-09-14
Good story. Nice to see that our protagonist put some distance between he and the bigoted english wizarding goverment. Nice starting between he and Gabrielle. A bit abrupt end but not bad. I had a good time reading this.You're my what?
(#) goku90504 2014-05-11
normally i'd share this via PM but you seem to have pm's turned off... a typo found
to return to Hogwarts were he alerted authorities of the problem.
were here should be where
and a potential typo
After watching them leave Dumbledore turned noticing the copy of the Daily Prophet he had passed Harry to read when he inquired about the reason for the mob burning on the floor where Harry had obviously thrown it.
mob seems like it might have been meant to be mop?
ch2
to appear professional and none threatening.
non
ch3
If it is I would like to know were the one l am currently at is located because the classes are far better.
where
ch4
“What’s going Hermione?” her mother asked in the voice that conveyed
on
“Help? If I’d gone by what that author wrote I’d probably insulted the entire Veela nation during my first conversation.
have? insult?
“So were are the future Aurors suppose to come from?” Harry asked.
where
Then Percy showed up and spend a Hogsmeade weekend with Ron.”
spent
on the publicly know information most were quite good
known
she loved Harry like a brother and hand no desire to bear green eyed children.
had bare?
“It is good to see your up. The healer is here she is currently examining Harry Gabrielle said taking Hermione’s hand as they walked back to Gabrielle and Harry’s rooms.
missing "
Ended up getting some broken bones courtesy of cousin for her trouble.”
my? dudly?
ch5
“Why are here?”
you
wishing he could have barred Percy Weasley, who was representing the minister, for attending but it was well within the minister’s right to hear this.
from
I know how I’d like to proceed from here but I don’t want to go against Harry’s or you wishes.”
your
Therefore as I already have asylum status can we get Harry French citizenship preferable as soon as possible?”
preferably
that particular prophecy was full filled on October 31st 1981.
fulfilled
was using his knowledge of wood and magic to insure our fortifications were safe and secure for our own troops
ensure?
It’s not like their the first pair you’ve seen.”
they're
now sure how he managed that seeing as how Umbridge is the new headmistress and Snape is her deputy.”
not
ch6
“Good going Harry you did much better with her parents than James did with your mother’s. When Hermione was finished hugging her parents
missing "
“I hope your keeping up
you're
before drill a hole dead center on the small end with a tapered hole meeting the base of it from the side of the shaft.
drilling
ch7
“It looks like France will have to more magical citizens soon.”
two
This is a list of all the typos i found again normally i'd share via pm so they could be fixed without being made public but your pm's are off
it's a great story
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