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• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Cateagle 2011-01-31

  Well, that was a costly victory, no matter which side is doing the reckoning (and both could claim a "victory" of sorts). I rather suspect the long-term effects will indicate that it wasn't a victory for Tom and his minions. You're right, war is ugly but it happens and that revel captures the essence of the Death Eaters and why they need to be opposed firmly (it also likely will spur on the people Harry's training because they'll want to be ready to "return the favor" when prepared). Tom's next effort, though, seems to be a bit of a stretch with the force level he has, but he's not used, at least not mentally, for real opposition and he still doesn't know about the Cruciatus being monitored for the MOM.
  
  The new "toys" for Moody will undoubtedly not be appreciated by Amelia's people, at least not until they're in another fight and realize just how prepared they've become.
  
  I had to chuckle at the color of Tonks' stone, she does seemt o have a fascination with that color. I can appreciate Mac's choice and think it quite appropriate.
  
  It's good that they've figured out what's really wrong with the Longbottom's and I can appreciate Harry's choice and the anguish it has to cause him. It's the CO's job to make the hard calls, but I doubt any have ever really enjoyed it (I'd worry about one who did).

  Author's response

  Heya Cat!
  
  Yeah, this was a very hard chapter to write. I had to make the threat believable and yet still limit the damage.
  
  Victory: It depends. I said earlier that every tie Voldemort strikes out, win lose or draw, he'll pull back a bloody mitt.
  
  In this case, I'd say both sides lost. It's just that Tom and his friends, lost more.
  
  Though nobody will learn directly of the savagery that went on during the revel, I wanted the readers to understand the type of character Voldemort was, and by extension, his terrorists. Snape in particular has been described as being a reluctant double agent so often, including in canon, that many people sympathize with him, but he's not. Everything, even in canon points to him being Voldemort's spy, not Dumbledore's.
  
  I see a cold-hearted bully who'd never been knocked on his arse. He bullies because he can and that carries over to his 'after hours entertainment'.
  
  Simply put, he's a thug. An intelligent one, yes, but a thug nevertheless.
  
  Wanting revenge: Harry's speech did a lot to derail that, but he's going to have to deal with the occasional hothead (Yes, Ron, I'm talking about you!) who wants to go out and teach these bastards a painful lesson. His training programme is going to ensure they eliminate the threat entirely, but he'll have to ride hard on his students...especially now that they've been trained in the first three forms.
  
  Moody, Mack, Remus and Tonks have all seen it before, and will help keep the students focused.
  
  Moody's toys: The Aurors, at least the home-grown variety, will be cursing the day Moody was born, but the imports are better trained. They haven't had to deal with Fudge's stupidity. In either case, after a few months of the remotes, they will find their wits sharpened and their combat skills greatly enhanced.
  
  Yeah, pink is definitely an identifier where Tonks is concerned. (My duaghter wants her hair that color!)
  
  Mack was a doting daddy. (Much like I was) and wanted to make his baby happy. And purple is a loverly, soothing color.
  
  Longbottoms 1: I stole the basic premise from Radaslab's fic 'The Harem War' an excellent read, and merely tweaked it some. It was such a logical idea I just had to use it.
  
  Longbottoms 2: It's funny. I had the whole idea written where Harry gets Neville involved with his parent's treatment, but something I recalled from a novel I wrote popped to mind. "Y' know y'r job. Y' do it right you walk away. If not, y' get dead...an' mebby take y'r friends witcha!" So I scrapped it and went back to work.
  
  And that's how that works. Like you said it's a commanding officers responsibility to see his men protected to the best of his ability. It's the ones who want to get promoted to Fleet Admiral you gotta watch.
  
  Thanks for the nice review. Until next time...
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Disruptor 2011-01-31

  Mad-Eye knows what is needed. Why do I have the image of flying skulls shooting at aurors. Still Mad-Eye can manipulate Harry and knows it. ^_^ Well, I wonder what's going tp happen to the Floo rights when the Malfoys are removed.
  
  I can see Harry's thoughts about Azkaban being the second best place and death being the best place for them.
  
  Fawkes is really hamming it up there. I think his playing is helping him heal.
  
  Arabella is getting her memories back slowly. I hope she gets them all back someday.
  
  Looks like Herminoe is causing honey withdrawl for the Jedi. ^_^ I wonder if that will force her to rescind that order.
  
  Circle Inner? Not exactly pleasent.
  
  The way the Deez chose their targets were trragic and humorous. The street gang staking them was a favorite, but some of the others....shakes head.
  
  It is this depravity of Death Eaters that holds me back on one of my own fics. It is very hard to put down in writing without puking. I came up with a horrifying punishment for Snape due to it: Sense Dep. Unable to see, feel, hear, taste, or smell anything. Also remove the ability to sleep and deram and all that Snape would be aware of is his own crumbling sanity.
  
  Remus Lupin. Hm? I read a story that had a possible cure in it. It was a book of short stories called(IIRC) Triple W: Witches, Warlocks, and Werewolves. In it, the story went that a were would wear a belt made of human flesh and stand in the middle of an intersection during the night of a full moon and will the disaease away. Oh? The author of the story and book? Rod Sterling(he of the Twilight Zone)
  
  Mack as Mace Windu and Tonks as Pink Five? Okay.
  
  Since Tonks already took pink, I think Luna might go with silver to reflect her name. Maybe Remus will, but he might go with bronze or copper.
  
  The Longbottoms. Whew! That had to be one of the hardest choices Harry had to make. I hope it doesn't cost him Neville's friendship.
  
  Methinks Mack might suggest brining in a shrink or psychatrist
  

  Author's response

  Heya Disruptor! Good to see you.
  
  Mad-Eye's toys: I was thinking more like the swirly electric blue eye with arcane symbols floating across it's surface at random. The skulls might be too close to the Dark Mark and that could lead to them doing some damage...even accidentally.
  
  Harry's thoughts. Having fought enough 'freedom fighters' I tend agree with Harry's viewpoint. Anyone who would kill an innocent to make a point deserves lingering death. Worse, is anyone who would use a child to make that statement. Those ones deserve to be boiled alive!
  
  Fawkes: Yeah, he is. Little ham wouldn't let me go without writing something about him. Still, he's important to the story, and will have a nice little part near the end.
  
  Arabella: Eventually, she will, but not before this story ends. Such delicate treatment takes years. the same applies to the Longbottoms.
  
  Hermione: She'll get over it.
  
  Targeting/Depravity: I had to make it random, like a terrorist would, so I pulled up some targets at random and made the sub stories out of that. Like you said, it sucked.
  
  It's really hard to write that kind of brutality. We, as (mostly) peaceful citizens, are fortunate that we never have to see that up close. For those of us who have, it always beings back memories.
  
  I have no problem with writing gory death scenes for adults, but seeing (or reading about) a child being harmed really makes me sick. This is one of my pet peeves about the HP series. All the indications in canon show Harry as being physically, mentally and emotionally abused, and JKR laughs it off.
  Having lived through just that kind of abuse, that really torques my jaw.
  
  Remus: Human skin? Like Eeewww! On the other hand, Rod is the man! Seriously, Rod Sterling was one of the unsung heroes of the SF/Fantasy genre. His stories were usually well written and logically arranged. Even when he had a Deus ex Machina, he had a good reason for it. I'm definitely going to have to find that story!
  
  Pink five. Snicker! better not let Tonks hear you say that...dude! She's got...like...a temper...y'know?
  
  The problem with the lightsaber beams is they have to be crystal based, and the crystals have to be, of necessity, mostly clear, or the beam won't form. I originally wanted to use Moonstone in Remus' lightsaber, but that's not particularly well suited for lasers. On the other hand moonstone is comprised of two Orthoxclase and Albite, both feldspars. Feldspars can be created n labs to be as structurally aligned as any other gemstone and so, and I just might be able to get away with it if I have him tweak the crystal matrix, but in the end, his lightsaber will be a silvery white. I want that for the message it sends to his primary opponent.
  
  Tim suggested a shifting blade color for Luna and at first I was skeptical She'd have to have several crystals each able to handle the power of the beam, while switching the exciter from one to the next. I figured it could only be done with a huge and ungainly mess, but now I'm not so sure. Perhaps a tight cluster of stones all in the same diamond shell, and something to focus them into a coherent beam...
  
  Longbottoms: It was. And if it works, Neville gets to punch him.
  
  I think it's too late for a shrink.
  
  Actually I'm kidding. In August when I introduced the students and had Harry set up the ground rules, I ensured they would have someone to talk to, whether as formal counselors or just as friends. For anything really serious, Master Mindhealer Lorelei Mentasus just happens to live in the castle. Convenient, ain't it?
  
  Thanks for the great review. Until next time...
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) celashe 2011-01-31

  Attacking two fronts is what screwed Germany in WWII and WWI, though the first one is harder to prove. Also the problem with terrorists is they're not trained soldiers and prefer doing what they want in the field rather than what the guy in charge does. Another problem in the setting in this story is it can distract the leadership in the DEs due to constant needs to reassert their authority. Same for Voldie.

  Author's response

  Heya Celashe.
  
  I agree wholeheartedly. Fighting a war on two sides is just plain stupid. While Harry has no choice (he has to defeat Voldy and Dumbledore at the same time), he's taken a logical and methodical method of doing it. First one, and then the other. Dumbledore, is for all intents and purposes already defeated. He just doesn't know it yet. Voldemort is a different story. His defeat has to be more visible, in order to force the sheep to understand they can no longer hide behind their neighbors.
  
  Voldemort is misusing his assets. he has around two hundred Deez available with most of them being green. Unfortunately for them, he has grandiose dreams, and an ego to match.
  
  You are correct. The Deez are, for the most part, street thugs loosely organized. They have no real unit discipline. Each wants to be in charge and each resents taking orders from the others. Makes for poor unit cohesion.
  
  In the event of an unprepared target, they would sweep in using overwhelming force and unforgivables to incite panic, and then simply pick off the stragglers. Here, they found that tactic didn't work.
  
  ...and you're right again. Voldemort is reeling from his losses. He wants the world and is more than willing to sacrifice his men to get it, but as a leader, he's an incompetent. Hell, even Ming of Mongo proved to be more combat savvy than him.
  
  Thanks for the review. Until next time...
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) twilliams1797 2011-01-31

  again, a fine chapter.
  I should not have read the part with the barrier around it, much like real war and violence it makes me want to vomit.
  once your Jedi go into combat, and are blooded realization will hit. If their training is good enough, they will be back at base and alive before they react.
  
  horrible but necessary,
  
  of all the commands that /harry has had ti make, this one is probably one of the hardest, and yes, I believe Neville will understand.
  besides, he can't heal them right now anyway, he still has to figure out how to do it.
  
  the reason that Tom's headache continued after their afternoon session is most likely because Hermione is now expecting. my guess.
  
  re: cookie cutters.
  I do a similar job on occassion, where I have to produce a run of 5-50 of the product or project of the moment.. I try to make my moves as efficient as possible, every screw placed perfectly, every seam spotless and even, I am sure you know the drill. Find your joys where you can. Back when I worked remodeling and construction, I tried to put in small 'gifts' for the final owner, nailer blocks where the curtain rods will hang, where the doorknob hits the wall, etc. silly, actually, but I did it anyway.
  
  you know what they say, any day you are upright and employed is a good day."
  
  as always, good story, my best to you and your family.
  
  TimW
  
  

  Author's response

  Heya Tim.
  
  As much as you hated to read it, I hated to write it. The only reason I did, was I didn't want the Deez to become the cartoons of canon.(book seven excepted. There were a few well written Deez parts.) I wanted the audience to see them for the terrorists they were.
  
  Jedi and their blooding. Harry is doing everything he can to prepare them for that day, unfortunately each person deals with their first blood differently. I threw up for what seemed like hours and couldn't eat for a week. It finally took my first FTO and a bottle of whiskey to shock some sense into me.
  
  Harry is going to have a whole bunch of medical staff on hand to help out. That's also why I had him allow and encourage their pairing off. Most military units don't allow that for the 'stated' reason that the soldier won't be able to deal with his lover's death. I disagree. People in general are stronger than that. Still he's going to have a support system in place and the incentive for that will come from the French Aurors in the chapter after next.
  
  
  Harry's decision: Yeah, He felt terrible, but he knew he'd feel worse if Neville died and it was because he wasn't paying attention.
  
  I saw a guy go like that in the sandbox. He wasn't paying attention and walked right onto a popper. The explosion lifted him three feet and when he come down he was half shredded. Even today, thirty-odd years later, I sometimes wonder if I could have saved his ass by slapping some sense into him.
  
  Hermione, Preggers: Actually, no. Not yet, at least. The reason the passion lingered is that Harry is finally convinced that Hermione is not going to get tired of him and leave. Remember, he's a badly abused kid, and until now, he expected the abuse to resume. Now, by reaffirming their lives...together...he's convinced she truly loves him, and the lingering happiness is leaking over to Tommy. That headache is only going to get worse.
  
  
  Cookie cutters: That's not silly, it's the sign of a craftsman. I do the same when I can get away with it, but the contractors here are cheap as all hell. They whine about every bent nail as if it's gonna bankrupt them. Like you, I prefer renovations. It's slower and more time consuming, but it's more involved as well, and that's what makes it interesting.
  
  Well, upright, at least.
  
  Thanks for your wishes. Until then...
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Disruptor 2011-02-01

  There are two gemstones that change color.
  
  In sunlight/natrual light they are green. In artifical light, they are red.
  
  judging by what you said, I would guess something like a faceted quartz ball. As sunlight passes through it, it creates multiple rainbows and from different angles, each color is displayed.

  Author's response

  I looked up some various crystals that I hadn't considered. I've decided to make Luna's stone from rainbow quartz and Moony will get what i intended at first...moonstone(but a molecularly aligned variety.)
  
  Though I based the focusing crystals on lasing crystals, I may make the twin's stone have multiple cores joined around a common axis and surrounded by diamond. After having had a look, I decided to make their lightsabers look more like the Gundam beamsabers. They're not too far a stretch from the regular lightsabers, and that wider section would easily accommodate the compound crystals. Seeing as it's the twins, they'd also be competing to see how different they can make theirs, and several others will as well. In the next chapter you'll see four new variants.
  
  Until next time...
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Wolfric 2011-02-01

  I enjoyed the chapter. Depending on the spectral distribution of the enrergy source you could have pretty well any color by mixing 3 different colors, you could have some variety by mixing 2 colors. Video projectors use this concept, routinely. Doing it without wasting a lot of energy and having to disapate the waste would be trickier, using variable scources rather than filters would probably be the way. If this would be workable you could get any color with a clear focusing crystal which would presumably be easier to manufacture. Pardon my discourse. Thanks for writing. W.

  Author's response

  Heya Wolfric!
  
  No pardon necessary. Having worked with video systems (among other things) I'm well familiar with the inner workings of a CRT. I've decided to give Gred and Forge the multiple crystals around a common axis and surrounded in a diamond shell. With a little switching, they will have a blade that constantly changes colors. On the other hand, it will take them so much longer to make them, that they exhaust themselves and end up in the hospital. Harry is going to prohibit the rest from duplicating the effort.
  
  Thanks for the input.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Disruptor 2011-02-01

  http://www.amazon.com/Triple-W-Witches-Warlocks-Werewolves/dp/B0012FXGJY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1296596216&sr=8-1
  
  Good luck finding the book cheaper.
  
  Yeah. JKR really doesn't seem to understand abuse and relationships. After reading the final two books, I realized the heroes lost.
  
  I have never seen the Pink Five fanmocies, but that pink lightsaber called for that comment.
  
  Corrundum and Quartz are oddball gems. They can be any color due to impurities.
  
  Red Corrundm is Ruby and Blue Corrundum is Sapphire. Purple quartz is amethyst. Heck, the color pink is easy via Rose Quartz

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Wonderbee31 2011-02-02

  Very interesting part, though I did have to read it a couple of times before I reviewed, as it was very difficult at times with some of the subject matter. I nod and agree with the things stated about the DE's, they aren't much more than street thugs or like folks down South who would dress up en masse and go out to terrorize the neigborhood, yes they could be scary, but it was only hit and runs and in large groups that made them effective, and the moment that large groups stood up to them, their power was greatly reduced. It should have been the same way in canon, considering there were only a relatively few DE's, but that people seemed so laid back for the most part, no one did anything, hell, even the Order didn't ever seem to do much, McG and the others were working at the school for God's sake, which makes no sense for the place to be open, and then they send the "blood traitors" like Nev and Ginny there? Doesn't anyone in the wizarding world have any common sense? I guess according to JKR, they don't.
  
  Sorry, I got off point a bit, but did want to say that while it was intense, it was a well written chapter, and looking forward to how Harry is finally able to topple the whole blasted house of cards of crap right down to the bedrock.

  Author's response

  Heya Wonderbee!
  
  I agree. this chapter was horribly difficult to write. Since I'd already set the inductions into motion, I had to carry them out, and unfortunately, Death Eaters are terrorists...with all that signifies.
  
  The sheeple mentality is not limited to the wizarding world, I've seen reports and anecdotes of whole neighborhoods being held hostage by one thug with a gun. hundreds or even thousands of people all fearing one punk, because he's shown them he can and will sneak into their bedrooms at night and murder them in their sleep.
  
  Fortunately, there comes a time when people say enough its too much, and strike back. Here, the three most devastating defeats were at the hands of a group of even more dangerous thugs, a group of people trained to deal death, and a bunch of drunken football fans, (God knows how dangerous that is!)
  
  Cannes lack of gave a damn is one of the odd points in canon. while Harry was punished for knocking Malfoy on his arse, McGonagall never punished Malfoy for his bullying. Snape protected his snakes and tormented others unfairly and Mr. Twinkles just twinkled. If this were any real school there would have been open warfare by the time Harry arrived, let alone finished.
  
  Harry's toppling will be by use of a wrecking crew.
  
  Until next time.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) zamia 2011-02-11

  First the flood then the cyclone now hopefully back to a bit of normality and a good read. Smart bird that Fawkes. I wouldn't mind being a forlorn waif in Luna's arms. Always someone can see an easy answer to a problem, you just have to ask. Good to see Voldie still suffering. Nice to see Harry keeping in touch with the kids and for Arabella to be getting more memories back. Voldie not only a prescription potion addict, now he is becoming an alcoholic. Good to see the Deez take on happy Hammers' fans. Nobody in their right mind would do that not to mention taking on the Celts. Snape must die in the most painfull way possible. Interesting to see the force be used to make contact with Frank and can see way Harry wants to keep it a secret, just in case. Excellent chapter. Cheers.
  Z

  Author's response

  Heya Zamia!
  
  Fawkes. Yeah, he's hamming it up! Luna is such a wonderful character to write...
  
  A lot of 'goods' here, but there will also be some few more 'bads' before the end of this. (Five more chapters, I think.)
  
  Happy Hammers' fans. I've found that there are few people more dangerous than drunken football fans.
  
  Snape: He's not gonna die. I want him to /suffer/!
  
  Franklin: Canonically the Longbottoms were tortured to insanity. Makes sense, but Radaslab's idea made more. If the Cruciatus was so damaging, the body would give up long before insanity. His idea that the was another cause, especially given the environment I established, would be ideal for a machinating Dumbledore. It would establish a control over Neville, the emergency stand-by BWL, just in case Harry failed.
  I'm glad you understand the reasons had to keep this from Neville.
  
  Until next time...
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Richardc269 2011-02-18

  Another cool chapter. I liked this one a lot. I hope you update soon! I can't wait until you're able to finally finish the story. :3

  Author's response

  Thanks for the kind words, Richard.
  
  I'll be updating in a couple days. this story should have five or so more chapters.
  
  Alorkin

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