(#) starboy454 2011-02-27wow 2 chapter in 1 week and they are both excellent and i can't wait for the next 1 because i love your story and you are a excellent writer tel next time have a good day
Author's responseThank you starboy.
I'm thrilled that you (all my readers actually) like the story.
I'm not likely to publish the next one in under a week, though. Sorry.
- You, my good sir, are truly a master wordsmith of epic proportions (if the rating system of wordsmiths would go that high, and I hope they do lol). I've stumbled upon your story quite randomly. I’ve been a huge fan of Harry Potter since one of my teachers lent me her copy of sorcerer’s stone, and since then I devoured them greedily as each new one came out, standing in line for the midnight release of the last three and reading them til the break of dawn.
When I read Jedi Potter story first I only had the time to read the first few paragraphs and It sickened me. I didn’t know if I wanted to continue, but later that night my curiosity got the better of me, and I am extremely glad it did. I’ve read all 30 chapters within four days and one night I started reading at about 8pm and the next thing I saw was the sun coming over the horizon, on a work night mind you lol. There have only been three other authors to do that to me JKR, Jim Butcher, and Laurell K. Hamilton.
If you have published any books let me know and I will gladly buy them. If it weren’t for copyright laws I’d love to see Jedi Potter in print I’d be one of the first in line. Thank you so very much for this story and I happily await the coming chapter
Author's responseThank, you, no-one. I'm absolutely thrilled at such effusive praise.
I began reading Harry Potter after I'd seen the show. My daughter (then six) fell in love with him (Literally! She wanted to marry the boy!) and I fell in love with the idea. That was ten years ago, and while I was disappointed with some of the canon books, fanfiction has kept that love alive.
The first chapter was intended to force the reader to ask himself if the story was sufficiently intriguing to be worth reading. I'm glad you decided it was.
Four days!?! I do hope you got some sleep! Please never put your work, schooling or health on the line for my story. You can always come back to it.
(On a side note: David White and Steven Coonts, affect me the same way.)
I have not published any books. I would like to, but such publishing costs 'shekels many'...even self-publishing.
Maybe some day. In the meanwhile we can practice our writing on-line and our readers will tell us (usually in no uncertain terms) what they think.
The next chapter will post as soon as I can.
(#) Wonderbee31 2011-02-28Well, here's hoping Draco finally gets what the little punk deserved for years, and never did because JKR fell in luv with her own characters, like he and Snape, just two dudes who were...sniff...misunderstood...LOL. Yeah, they got so much for being good guys really, while the real good guys got crapped on by her, what kind of twisted world does she live in anyways? Good to se Harry stop the little girl from going all Sith, even as Draco and his punk gang deserved, but Dumbledore, man, I feel almost pity for him, not on him, but on his soul. Can't wait to see what the old man does next as he works to get back to his castle, his headmastership, and all that jazz.
Author's responseHeya Wonderbee!
Draco: He will. He most definitely will, and more, his will be an ignominious ending.
I find myself in complete agreement. She' prattled on and on about doing what was right, and yet allowed the bad-guys to buy their way free...again, while the good-guys died often horrible deaths. Makes me sick.
My opinion? She found the absolute worst thirteen year old fanfic author in the world, and gave her a hundred bucks to write both stories.
As much fun as it would have been to see Helen make shish-kebobs of the ferret and crew, a dark Jedi we do not need. In this I see Harry being very much like Qui-Gon Jinn.
Dumbledre's time at the castle is don...he just dont' know it yet.
BWAHA! BWAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHAAaacckkk Hack, sputter cough!
UNtil next time....
(#) Mistress_of_Potions 2011-03-01You were right, no one would want a magical force sensitive with a righteous anger the size of Texas on the loose.
My personal favorite punishment for a male rapist (attempted or successful rape) would be to have them locked in a wooden shed with their wedding tackle crushed in a vice and a rusty, dull knife sitting on a nearby table. Light the shed on fire and have the only way out to be sawing through their own genitals with said knife.
For female miscreants, tether them in a federal prison after dousing them with pheromones and let nature take its course.
Author's responseHeya Mistress.
Lessee...can tap into a power source unlike anything here in earth, can read minds has an unstoppable weapon, and carries a whole truck-load of hate.
Nothing dangerous there!
Punishment: I can do you one better. When I was (ostensibly) growing up in New Mexico, a rapist was caught on the Isleta Pueblo.
He was taken by the women of the tribe, hung between two poles planted in the ground, and skinned alive...one inch at a time. It took him something over a week to die.
Female prisoners: Naah, that wouldn't work. the feds are far too alert. Now a state facility.../that/ I can see. Or maybe have them work in a brothel for the rest of their lives...in Morocco.
Thanks for the review.
- I thought that you would draw out dumblemort slowly losing his powers before you got rid of him. But I'm glad that people are facing consequences,I wish that she would have at least hit malfoy between the legs with the lightsaber ending the malfoy line. But you wrote something that for some reason had me laughing for a good five minutes in your last chapter when dumbledore put his hand in the poo and he wondered what he did to deserve that I just couldn't stop the laughter.
Author's responseDumbledore: He's not gone. He's just out of the castle. Voldy wants him away for his little celebration on the solstice.
His magic is being infected just now. The final blow will come in early June when Harry invites him over for a little chat.
I have death planned for little Drakey that's wholly ignominious. He'd hate think he went out in such a plebeian manner.
I'm glad it tickled your funny bone. So often people like that cannot fathom the reason they are so reviled. It's like 'The Godfather', when Brando says: "What have I ever done to deserve such disrespect?"
Ummm...lemmee think. Hmmm! You're a murderer, extortionist, rapist, drug runner, kidnapper, ransomer, liar, cheat and all around evil person...though I do admit you have wonderful singing voice.
Thanks for the lift.
- Dobby is great! Hermione was right; he anticipated that Harry would amend the orders dealing with Snape and the Nibblers (the front band for Voldy and the Voldettes) and merely took care of buisness! I also liked how Hermione appropriated Harry's tea! Dobby once again showed how on top of things he was when he replaced Harry's tea! I liked how Harry teased Judith about his clothing for the engagement party, but perhaps at some point formal dress robes for jedi will be designed! A collaboration between Lavendar, Parvati, and Madam Malkin perhaps? I see that Voldy has found another supply for his little brown bottle: and he was even willing to pay for it! Hmmmm..... at least he'll have one good deed to put up against the epic pages of evil deeds that he's collected over the years. But really, killing the delivery boy, now that's bad form! And the guy got it there within 20 mins. That's a better delivery time than Domino's. Then again the DE should have picked up the eight bottle on GP. But no doubt Voldy would have snuffed him anyway for not buying nine or more. There's no satisfying a psychotic and sadistic leader, especially one with a massive drug addition. Will Voldy start sending his DE's out on potion raids instead of attacks? After all Harry and Hermione will be working on potential heirs with the same dedication that they've applied to their jedi training. I'd say Voldy hasn't begun to suffer yet! Couldn't happen to a more deserving creep...except for Snape, Dumbles, and the Ferret of course. But I'd say that Dumbles was suffering the loss of beloved socks. Are the Nibblers trying to intimidate other students into cleaning their clothes and stuff, or just having things owled to Hogwarts? Then again I wouldn't put it past them to steal things from the other students if they had the chance. I wonder if Prof. Flitwick has been swamped with requests for stronger locking charms? I thought that the engagement dinner was lovely, and the fallout for Dumbles and company was great! It's too bad that Dumbles has lost a few things from his secret stash, and even worse that his memory has slipped......snicker. Is that secret vault of his being accessed? If so, the goblins might find out some interesting things. I'm glad that Harry received advice from those two Aurors and will make preparations for councilors and so forth for his students. Actually, perhaps they should start running detailed battle scenarios, blood, guts, and all. I'm sure that Hermione and Stokes would love to work on a holodeck! I'm glad that Harry is taking steps to make sure his troops have everthing they need not only to get through the battle, but to recover from what the experience will do to them. And even the troops who don't go into combat should still talk to the mind healers and so forth. It would help them to understand their friends reactions after the battle, and after all they may find themselves facing another combat in the future. It's also nice to see that Yoda is keeping an eye on things. Sigh..... I'm glad that McGonagall and Flitwick saved Helen from being raped, and I'm glad that Harry kept her from the darkside. I just wish that Malfoy and his little pack could have had a nice drop off the Astronomy Tower! And then Snape and Dumbles accused Helen of "asking for it"........ It's a pity that pair can't meet Bubba and a few of his friends! Then again, they ran into a hacked off McGonagall so that was a nice start. I bet Snape's face hurt for days! Then the fool compounded the insanity by attempting to use his wand! Hmmmm...on the one hand, McGonagall would have fried him just for starters; and Flitwick planned on snapping his wrist. Between those two he would have been toast; burnt toast at that. Please let McGonagall and Flitwick have a crack at Snape again. I'm sure they could teach him a few things! I loved seeing Dumbles get the heave ho at last! I'm suprised that McGonagall didn't smack him, but then Harry took care of that nicely! You have to respect those old family spells! Will the beater's bat hang on Harry's wall with a plaque? When Dumbles ranted about being the master of Hogwarts and all that other crap I kept seeing him in messy clothing , wild eyed and raving, and wondered if Rita could used penseive memories to add a picture to her story. I also had an image of Dumbles as a weird cross between Hitler and the Wizard of Oz during the throne room scene. Oh well, the Ferret did get some punishment, not nearly what he deserved, but it was a good start. I hope that he, Snape, and his pack of rapists get plenty of Voldy's special treatment in the future, until Harry and company take care of them! Harry's discussion with the twins was great, and I'd suspect that between him and their parents Fred and George's ears will be ringing for a week or more! Thanks again for another great chapter, and as always the next will be eagarly anticipated! :)
Author's responseHeya Teresa!
Dobby: You can thank Robert58 for that idea. I would have missed it entirely.
I used to have a cuppa in bed before my late wife woke. Usually when she did, she'd steal my cup and drain it.
I believe I've had Hermione do this three or so times now.
Harry teasing: Too often a serious Harry is made far too serious. Can you imagine Hermione(or anyone else, for that matter) getting involved in someone with no sense of humor?
Eventually, when the academy is running, Harry will institute a set of dress clothing for his students. When Dudley is awarded the V C, he'll be in attendance, wearing his Jedi uniform and robe.
Lavender and Parvati: Not a bad idea. The Jedi Robes aren't all that dissimilar to the movie version school robes. Tunics and trews under a voluminous cloak. It works.
That really was a slapstick moment. I had to throw it in. But can you imagine Voldemort finding out his Death Eater was too cheap to make up four sickles and a knut and not killing him?
Yeah, Voldy definitely has.../issues/.
The drug addiction will come in to play...again. I started it too early in October, but was able to have Snape pull him out. This time, Voldy will sagely nod his head, and totally ignore Snape's advice.
He won't need to sent his troops put on raids. Each of them will be trying to improve their own position by sucking up to the boss.
Harry/Hermione: I don't think two days have gone by that they haven't given him a horrible headache. Now there's dedication!
Dumbley: He's lost nearly everything that made him.../'special'/.
He will be making an appearance in the next chapter.
Nibblers: With their primary and secondary protectors gone, the nibblers are going to find their tenure more uncomfortable then ever. Minerva won't put up with bullying, but given the attitudes prevalent in Slytherin house upper years, she might turn a blind eye to a bit of 'constructive criticism'.
There would be no need to have better locks. The nibblers take...the elves return.
Minerva will be asking the elves why they're avoiding the upper year Slytherins. When they tell her Lord Gryffindor ordered it, she'll understand. Perhaps she'll ask Harry to countermand that order, but I really can't see that happening.
She might post a couple of Elves in the Slytherin dorms to prevent just that sort of shenanigans.
The secret vault is still secret...until the end, that is.
The two French Aurors: It's frightening how often the psychological impact of killing is ignored by military higher-ups. It's like the US's insistence that there were no half American babies in whatever countries we've served in. That attitude was especially prevalent in both the Korean war and Viet Nam. "Oh, our boys would never do that!" It's short-sighted, hypocritical and basically stupid.
The same thing applies to the thousands of troops returning from whatever war with PTSD. the government refused to acknowledge it for far to long and when it was finally addressed, it was too little-too late.
OK. I'm off my soapbox now.
the problem here is they don't have the time to set something like that up. Harry has been and will be screening the volunteers very carefully to ensure they come back alive. It's a unfortunate fact of war that those who most want to come back alive are willing to do whatever they need to do to ensure it. It sucks, but there it is.
Battle scenarios. He's already doing that. all the melee fighting all the formation training all the Aurors shooting at them and all the dueling, is intended to make sure the ones chosen for the mission, will survive.
And I agree. All the students will be speaking to the mind-healers. Even those who don't go, because every one of them is and will be affected by the same requirement as those who do.
The Jedi academy is still in the planning stages, but Harry is gong to have to have a set idea before he begins. If his Jedi are to become Jedi in fact as well as name they will have to be autonomous, and that autonomy requires they must be able to defend themselves against aggression from any side.
Yoda: What would one expect? Certain he must be, that for good the force is used.
Saving Helen: That scene actually wrote itself in a matter of minutes. I merely typed it down. Imagine how a rape or attempted rape could affect a child with the ability to use the force, shake hard, heat to boiling, and you get instant Sith.
Bad juju, mon!
Malfoy&Co: There comes a time in every bully's life when he discovers a victim who won't be bullied. Draco has been raised to be a bully and is only now discovering the sheep are not as toothless as he thought. His end is coming. It will be meaningless and unregrettable.
'Asking for it': It's unfortunate that many older people still tend to think a rape victim was 'asking for it'. That kind of attitude was prevalent in the Victorian England and as part of that time-frame, Dumbledore would tend to think that way.
Of course that he's using pretty much everybody in order to promote his own agenda is another thing entirely.
Snape's face. Yupper! If her hand hurt, it's a sure bet his face did too. Still, it was long overdue.
Wand: I'm not so certain. Snape is purported to be an expert in Dueling. McGonagall might be, and Filius is, so there would be a short battle. It's likely Snape would have lost, but there would be a price to pay for their victory.
Letting them have another crack: Ummm, sorry. Snape gets t play for a few weeks more and then he'll come afoul of someoen he shouldn't.
~You have to respect those old family spells!~
~Will the beater's bat hang on Harry's wall with a plaque?~
Naah. It belongs to the Weasleys. Harry just borrowed it.
Rita: I should have, but Dear Rita is going to play some more so it won't be a problem.
~I also had an image of Dumbles as a weird cross between Hitler and the Wizard of Oz during the throne room scene.~
A colorful and rather disturbing image.
The ferret will be punished.
~I hope that he, Snape, and his pack of rapists get plenty of Voldy's special treatment in the future, until Harry and company take care of them!~
Funny you should mention that...
I had a similar 'discussion' with my daughter when she did something utterly stupid this past Christmas. I understand car alarms went off. Needless to say, sh won't be doing anything like that again.
Updates as I can.
- G'day mate. Good bit of action in this chappie. Always thought some of jackson Browne's music was magical. And George Lucas probably has enough moolah to have his own Jedi college. Like the forward planning for the troops after the battle. Pity it doesn't happen more often. Nice to see Dumbles get the boot but for some reason I don't think it will be the last we hear from him. And if the Aurors turned up with Amelia to take Malfoy & his band of munchers away, 1. how did they escape & 2. hope the Aurors who were with them get suitable punishment. Very enjoyable. Cheers.
Author's responseG'day, Zamia.
Yeah, a lot of things were coming to play in this chapter.
I also like Browne's music, but I think the Bee Gee's song was perfect for the night.
Barry White would have been good too.
Lucas: A nod to the master of ugly starships and cool wicked-cool weapons.
Planning: Been there, done that. Like you said, it's to bad most military forces don't plan for the ugly side of war.
Someone once said: "If the greedy old men who started wars, actually had to fight them there would be no wars."
Dumbledore: Nope. You'll be seeing him soon.
The nibblers: Remember when Snape vanished after his confrontation with Minerva and Filius? He zipped down to the dungeons and let them out of their cage and then got them out of the castle, before Amelia and her troops arrived. He is currently number one on Amelia's hunt-down-and-force-feed-Veritaserum, list.
Until next time...Ta!
- Love the display of lightsabres, especially Luna's & Tonks'. Ron's would definitely be that colour. Impressive. Cheers.
Author's responseHeya Zamia!
Glad you like them. they took several dozen hours to create.
Tonks': It was necessary. I'd originally decided to have only a few variants, but several comments about the plausibility of Hermione having an erotic type LS hatched some bunnies and so it goes.
Ron: Could one expect anything different?"
- Looking at the lightsaber designs you just posted to Kinsfire's Yahoo! group, I could see maybe Susan Bones going with the classic Star Wars: New Hope look for a lightsaber(Obi-Wan/Anakin/Luke)
As to Ron's.... Wow that is orange and it probably has an orange blade too.
Tonks' lightsaber reminds me of something I saw at a hair salon(had to take my grandmother) I think it was a modified curling iron.
Nagini? If Harry can still talk to snakes, then maybe Nagini will request some sort of asylum(Get me away from this lunatic!)
Draco meeting his end? My best guess? He's force sensitive and makes a grab for one of the lightsabers from one of those that have two(Luna, Dobby, or Harry(Probably one of Dobby's as an ironic revenge from the House Elf)) and turns it on, stabbing himself in the brain.
Author's responseHeya Disruptor!
I never really liked Luke's lightsaber in ANH. It was bulky and unrefined...and what kind of idiot puts a rifle sight on a /sword/? Obi Wan's was much cooler and later in RotJ, Luke made one based on Ben's, so I used those as his inspiration. Here, I'm not going into many other designs, other than Ginny's and Ron's, which I will specifically point out. For instance, Neville has adopted the original 'Harry' design, where Orla, will be using the same kind as Ginny, but with a different colored blade, as they're friends and both are making their crystals at the same time. The other people will be using basically variants of Harry's and Hermione's with a few using variants of Ginny's.
As I've shown, both Harry and Dobby have simply duplicated their existing designs for their second blades, but have added functional improvements.
Ron's: Not just orange, but Chudley orange!
Tonks' yeah, i have sen things like that. My inspiration was my late wife's 'little friend'.
Nagini is going to come into play...and in very much the manner you suggest.
Draco will meet his end in an undignified manner in the first minutes of the battle, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
Dobby will get his revenge on the one who abused him the most.
Thanks for the kudos.
(#) tumshie1960 2011-03-14I have just discovered this excellent story and spent several hours reading it and have to say it's been time well spent.
I like that your heroes have flaws and don't know all the answers, and are willing to listen to others and take advice.
The slow torture of Dumbledore and Voldemort is inspired.
Looking forward to reading more
Author's responseHeya tumshie!
I do hope you've allowed yourself time to take care of the non-essetials...work...sleep...food...that kind of thing.
It's too often (although as time goes on, less prevalent) that the characters are portrayed as perfect,(Say .that/ three times fast!)and IMO flawed characters are more interesting.
That harry is willing to listed to aqdvise is part of his canon personality, though there, he''d nly accetpt it from Hermione, whom he trusted. (Book sux doesn't count!)
Dumbles & snake lips. Aah, revenge! How wonderful it is. Too many people want me to simply end their existence, but where's the fun in that?
More is on the way.
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