FicWad

Categories > Books > Harry Potter > JEDI POTTER

Reviews

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) QOShea 2011-02-27

  Very nice stuff! Loved this chapter. I have no idea how you make the chapters so long.
  
  The twins lightsabers would be rather nauseating to look at for long periods of time, I think.
  
  Looking forward to more of this!

  Author's response

  Heya QOShea!
  
  I'm able to make the chapters long for two reasons. 1) As a carpenter my work is on-again, off-again. Last week I was off, a couple weeks ago, I was working my tail off. 2) some parts of this were written long ago as I established the plotlines. For instance, the scene with little Helen was written in early October, but I felt January (subjective) was too soon to kick Dumbles out of the castle.
  
  And I agree. The revolving colors would tend to make one nauseous.
  
  I'm going back to work in a week or so, so it might b a couple of weeks before i post. Whenever possible, I try to post every weekend.
  
  Thanks for reading!
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Richardc269 2011-02-27

  Loving the new chapter. Still can't wait to read the rest of it! Although there are a few errors here and there. You will probably want to edit the whole story for all the errors that were made after you finished the story.
  
  There's a few places where quotes should/shouldn't be, figured you'd want to know.

  Author's response

  Heya Richard.
  
  Glad you're still reading. This is both fun and fascinating to write while exhausting at the same time.
  
  Errors: Yeah. I proof it five or seven times and i alwasy find ore little errors when i read it on-line.
  
  (Le Sigh!)
  
  Alorkin
  
  Like that...I always find more little errors when I read it on-line.

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Wolfric 2011-02-27

  Good chapter. The story is still most enjoyable. Thanks for writing. W.

  Author's response

  Thanks, Wolfric.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) mwinter 2011-02-27

  keep it coming. glad to see you got you muse back.

  Author's response

  Hello, mwinter.
  
  Not so much a lack of muse, (She's sitting on my shoulder, and giggling as I type this) but the time to write. It's that pesky real life...(Le Sigh!)
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) sargentaaron2004 2011-02-27

  Another great chapter!
  
  But i must ask, How do you manage to write such large chapters so quickly? You must work on it 16 hours a day, and if you do that, how are you surviving? Oops, i forgot about your private house elf service and pension scheme ;)
  
  You don't need to answer the question...
  
  Just know that this is a great story and you are a great author... and it's getting more epic every day.
  
  Keep up the good work we all love.
  Regards,
  Aaron.

  Author's response

  Heya Sarge!
  
  House elf? Pension? How do I get me one?
  
  I'm able to make the chapters long for two reasons. 1) As a carpenter my work is on-again, off-again. Last week I was off, a couple weeks ago, I was working my tail off. 2) some parts of this were written long ago as I established the plotlines. For instance, the scene with little Helen was written in early October, but I felt January (subjective) was too soon to kick Dumbles out of the castle.
  
  
  Thanks for your kudos. This one is almost over, but I have more in the queue.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Disruptor 2011-02-27

  At least Dobby corrected Harry's mistake.
  
  EST to ?Greenwich? Ah, the Time Zone differences caught Harry off guard. ^_^
  
  Voldie is losing it again. The Summer Solstice is approaching quick. I do wonder if there is going to be anything happening in May. May day, May festival, or whatever.
  
  Dumbly is losing it due to socks.
  
  No Agent J or K? ^_^ At any rate, the US Feds were interesting. I do wonder if the US KNEW that Dumbly was Dark Lord for a long time. I think of Grindelwald and if he really was Himmler, who was it that screamed 'I'm Himmler!' and comitted suicide? Who was it that covered that up? With as much stuff that goes on in the US, the Feds might just pass stuff off as a cult using LSD in insence burners and people would just accept it or maybe someone making some sort of movie. such as the Live Action Megaman fan-movie.
  
  What Lucas started? I do wonder what Harry would think of the KOTOR video games and of two characters in paticular: Kreia and the Exile. Although the Exile and Darth Nilhus would be frightening concepts for Harry.
  
  Voldemart? A fleeing K-Mart?
  
  I do not drink alcohol, so I will have to take your word for it. I'll stick with the various Kool-Aid drinks.
  
  That secret vault of Dumbles is going to be even more of a headache for Dumbles now that he doesn't know of it. I hope Harry gets that vault for Dumbles actions to him.
  
  Ah yes, every mother's dream of planning a big wedding.
  
  Bad jokes about the French aside; they would know the price of War better than most, since they've been invaded twice.
  
  Alcohol is one. Maybe Harry should also get some punching bags, a few tons of boulders and sledge hammers.(When I'm really enraged, I put on some safety glasses and grab a normal hammer and smash bricks. At least the bricks are useful for flower gardens now)
  
  So Lorelei Mentasus is being visted by Yoda? I'm surprised it isn't Vandar or Thon.
  
  What idiots those twins be. A mundane/first generation mage US force user with a penchant for rock tumbling would be able to pull it off. That person would cut out maybe 1/2 to 2/3 the effort by taking materials with them(aluminum foil or cans, sand, and charcoal) Aluminum Oxide: Corrundum(Ruby, Sapphire, Oriental Topaz, etc.) Silicon Dioxide: Quartz(Amethyst, Rose Quartz, etc.) Carbon: Diamond. And only use three gems(red, green, and blue). A computer monitor only has three colors(an RGB monitor).
  
  Nice to see that clock back in action.
  
  Draco and his buddies need to be imobolized alive on a hill of fire ants and let the ants have them.
  
  nemmind? How do you pronounce that?
  
  I see that Dobby understands that not all blood magics are evil now. Then again, he realized that Helen was a far bigger threat and in far greater danger at the time.
  
  I do wonder if Poppy has been obliviated a few times.
  
  I think the Dawson's might pick up the Tales of the Old Republic comics and see what kind of horrendus damage that Helen could have caused by looking at Freedon Nadd, Exar Kun, and Naga Sadow. The battleship Corsair and the Cron Nebula comes to mind here. TEN silmultaneous super-novas.
  
  Again Harry is following Master Thon's way of teaching and keeping families together along with allowing and encouraging realtionships(Andur, Nomi, and Vima Sunrider)
  
  The Beater's Special made a come back. ^_^
  
  Dumbly is gone from the castle. Sooner than Harry would have liked, but I can't fault Minerva or Poppy for this one and it doesn't look like Harry will either.
  
  I know what color Ron's crystal is going to be: Orange.
  
  Things do change. The View probably has as well.

  Author's response

  Heya Disruptor!
  
  ~EST to ?Greenwich?~
  
  I was damn lucky there. I caught that little problem the evening I posted the chapter and said "Oh crap! Gotta fix this!"
  
  Anything happening in May: Yep. He's got a lot planed and Dumbledore will be throwing his hat into the ring a well.
  
  ~Dumbly is losing it due to socks.~
  
  He's losing his socks too!
  
  Naah! J&K are in another fic. Sirius-ly, I figure the US would have the equivalent of the FBI, and the customs and Immigrations and the like, and the US Department of Magical Affairs sounds so much cooler than the Ministry of Magic.
  
  There is so much fun I could have with this paragraph. Unfortunately you've hit the nail straight on in at least a couple of those.
  
  ~What Lucas started? I do wonder what Harry would think of the KOTOR video games and of two characters in paticular: Kreia and the Exile. Although the Exile and Darth Nilhus would be frightening concepts for Harry. ~
  
  there is an old theory that the multiple dimensions sometimes touch. The Irish legend is when the fog is thickest, one can step from world to world. If that has any potential validity, it's entirely possible Lucas was influenced by his counterpart from anther dimension.
  
  Harry is not familiar with the KOTOR or anything of the sort. It's likely the foreign Aurors might be, or some of the mugglebornes, and while he has the induced knowledge from Yoda, he's been focusing almost entirely on how to use that information to eliminate the dark lords. In time, he might research, and you're probably right. From what little I know of Nihlus, Malek Traya and Revan, he would be frightened.
  
  On a side note: in Rakatan, the words for "triumph" or "conquest" is darr, and the word for "death" is tah, leading to the theory that "Darth" is derived from darr tah and therefore means "triumph over death" or "immortal". (Source, Wikipedia)
  
  Very much like 'Vol de Morte'.
  
  
  ~Voldemart? A fleeing K-Mart?~
  
  "Good evening shoppers! Today's blue-light special is Death Eater robes in a lovely black sateen with accompanying white mask..."
  
  I rarely drink, myself. In fact, I have a bottle of Canadian Mist that was 12 years old when I bought it in 1988. I've had three shots.
  When Drinking, I prefer something I can enjoy and like you, that's usually non-alcoholic.
  
  the vault: I'll give you a hint. Minerva is the secret keeper, but she was obliviated. Now, given that, and the idea that when a wizard dies, his magic dies with him...what happens to the charms Dumbledore cast?
  
  The price of war: I'd have to say any soldier who's been there.
  
  Coming to grips: I'm thinking a whole wing filled with breakables, a bunch of large heavy objects the students can throw curses at, the gym is already being used, but heavybags an the like can be set up easily enough, but most importantly they'll need someoen to talk to. someone who has been through it and that someone will most likely be the Aurors.
  
  I figured Lorelei would be the most logical person to have Yoda touch base with. Luna is busy with Ron.
  
  the problem with your idea is it require a knowledge of basic electronics. Unfortunately the RGB in a CRT is more than that. There are three electron ray guns at the back of the tube, with a scan rate of between 15,000 and 96,000 lines/minute, depending on the screen.
  
  Then you throw in the inner screen with it's colored phosphors. Each group of dots includes a Red, Blue and Green dot, all within a hundred micron circle. When the electron gun fires it's signal one or more of the dots is lighted and the combination of the dots being lighted make the various colors appear.
  
  For the twins, it would be both technically impossible to do and not nearly flashy enough. This way,the switcher can shift the beam from crystal to crystal without interruption in a circular pattern that makes the beam shift through the colors they selected in a clearly seen rotation.
  
  The clock seems tho be an icon of the HP 'verse. It will come in to play again.
  
  Draco&Co. I thought of that, but the SPCA called me and said nix.
  
  ~nemmind? How do you pronounce that?~
  
  Just like it's spelled. (Snicker!)
  
  Blood magicks: The thing that makes them dark is not the blood, but the 'forcibly taken'.
  
  ...and yes, to both.
  
  Poppy: It stands to reason she has. If he's willing to use behavioral compulsions on his 'old friend'...
  
  The Dawsons: Let's not frighten them to much!
  
  Master Thon: And again, I think that was a bad idear to take children from their families.
  
  Beater's special: Well, Harry s like one of the family after all...
  
  Dumbley gone: Yupper! And it's just about the time. Another month would have been nice, but he's already been dealt with.
  
  If it had been me, I'd have shot the bastard!
  
  On the flip-side, he's got time to plot...
  
  Ron's lightsaber: Now why on Earth would you think Ron's blade will be 'Chudley Orange'?
  
  The View. Aah, shame. Fond memories there.
  
  Thanks for the wonderful review.
  
  Until next time...
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Rob 2011-02-27

  Good part, a lot more emphasis on plot and action than day to day training and decisions.
  
  

  Author's response

  Heya Rob.
  
  It kinda shifts from one to the other.
  
  Thanks for reading.
  
  Tell your friends!
  
  Tip the waiters!
  
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) vheritas 2011-02-27

  A fine chapter, with many converging elements, making it a most satisfying read.
  I also commend you on a believable near-rape scene. Most in fandom are either creepily sociopathic, too fluffy, end up being a bizarre romantic plot or are over in an instant with not a skerrick of trauma to be seen.
  I look forward to your next chapter.

  Author's response

  Heya vehritas!
  
  Yeah. this is the part where the plotlines are coming together. It's hard to keep them all straight and hopefully, I won't forget one or more of them.
  
  Believable near-rape scene. I agree. I cannot see a rape or attempted rape as being a romantic twist of any sort. (Sorry, my background includes investigating that most vicious of crimes.) rape fantasies are just...insane.
  
  Anyway...Helen was fortunate. She's got time, and she's got people around her to help her come to grips with the attack. She will not be touching a lightsaber in the foreseeable future.
  
  I wonder if Ginny can help? She's got a similar experience, albeit a spiritual one.
  
  The kids will be there to help as well.
  
  Next chapter will be along in a week or two.
  
  Thanks for the review.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Celexs 2011-02-27

  I really enjoy this story. I like the way you have blended the two worlds together into something that fits. The use of the attempted rape to start the Sith was a great plot idea. Having Harry stop Helen was a great way to show that he is actually a good match for a jedi in personality.
  
  The proposal was very well done. I really liked the idea of having her parents there with them, and having Judith break Hermione out of her shock.
  
  I look forward to seeing the remainder of the story.
  
  Cel

  Author's response

  Thanks Celexs.
  
  
  I don't want the to start a Sith uprising. I merely wanted to show what could have happened had Harry not stopped her. I've seen women who'd been victims of rape, become closed off, violent and dangerous people. Now take that reaction and add in an ability to use the force and a lightsaber and you have a huge pile of trouble. Harry's being there just when she needed him, was enough to prevent that from happening.
  
  She will still need someoen to talk with, and I think Judith would be the best choice.
  
  Proposal: Thank you. It was fun to write.
  
  The rest is coming...all too soon, sez I!
  
  Until then...
  
  Alorkin.

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) ROBERT_1958 2011-02-27

  I hope Harry will get the vault in Gringotts with the items Dumbledore removed from the Potters.
  
  Harry has a warent fron the Queen to kill all Death Eathers, why not wake up Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Malcolm Baddock and Pansy Parkinson, then fight them to the death.
  
  Harry should have kept Dumbledore's Wand (The Elder Wand).
  
  

  Author's response

  Heya Robert.
  
  Eventually, Harry will recover what the old bastard took.
  
  Waking them: That would be too easy, sides, remember, they escaped?
  
  There are no Hallows in this story Dumbledore's wand its just that, nothing more. (Personally, I think it was stupid plot device!)
  
  Toodles.
  
  Alorkin

Sign up to review this story.